When it comes to giant monsters, if
it's really neat and full of turtle meat you've got yourself Gamera.
The other big G. A flying fire breathing (and eating) turtle who's
starred in a dozen films so far. A couple years ago I watched the
90's trilogy which are actually some pretty solid kaiju fun. They
also feature Steven Seagal's daughter who I never even knew about
until watching them. Maybe that shouldn't matter but every time I saw
the girl, the image of her father hiding his fat gut under a trench
coat kept creeping into my consciousness. While those may be decent
flicks, what about the older franchise entries? Sure I'd seen em on
Mystery Science Theater and TV back when you could find stuff other
than reality nonsense, but those were the horrid U.S. Edits with shit
dubbing, However; a few weeks ago I picked up the first volume of his
classic movies in their original edits. Let's give a quick look.
Note: screen shots are just pictures of the TV while the movies play. Until I can afford a blu-ray drive for this thing, that's just the way it's gotta be.
Gamera the Giant Monster
Not unlike the first Godzilla, this
doesn't quite feel like a normal Gamera flick. His role isn't fully
developed just yet and there are no other monsters for him to smash.
Instead we get a fairly standard issue big monster yarn with a side
helping of annoying kid loves giant turtle. Really there isn't too
much of a story here. Gamera is awakened by bomb tests and goes on a
rampage while scientists and military try to stop him. Over multiple
engagements we learn that our beast can fly, loves to eat fire, and
is weak to icy temperatures. After repeated failures to slay the
creature, the world works together to trap him in a rocket and send
his ass to Mars.
Gamer vs. Barugon
A stray comet busts open Gamera's
rocket before he makes it to Mars. Upon his swift return to Earth he
stars causing trouble and eating fire. Meanwhile a few gents travel
to a mystical island in search of immense jewels. One of the dudes is
a majorly murderous asshole though who gets one of his teamates
killed and leaves the other for dead. Little does he know that his
treasured jewel is actually an egg from which we get Barugon, a giant
lizard with ice breath and rainbow beams.
The guy who was left for dead returns
to Japan alone with a fine native girl who hopes to stop Barugon. Of
course we get plenty of monster vs monster/military action along with
some people on people action since the dickhead can't quite stop
himself from murdering everyone around him.
All said and done, this is actually a
pretty fun kaiju tale with it's only big issue being that it's just a
little too long for what it is. Still a decent time to be had.
Gamera vs. Gayos
This is where things start to take a
turn for the crazy, which can be a good or bad thing depending on who
you are but seeing as you're reading my site it's definitely a good
thing.
Once again there's very little in the
way of story. A construction company is trying to build a highway
through the mountains but the local villagers are holding out on
selling their land for more money. Little do they know the mountain
is home to a nocturnal, laser spewing, flying beast.
Gamera actually gets his butt handed
to him in this one until he mans up for the final showdown involving
a sit & spin blood fountain. If those details fail to perk your
interest than this is not the movie for you.
Gamera vs. Viras
Oh god is this one a trip. We're
introduced to Maseo and Jim, two boy scouts who are just the fucking
worst. Their whole troop only thinks of them as rotten pranksters
which is about right though Maseo has some skills when it comes to
electronics.
Some aliens traveling around in a ship
that resembles a collection of bee butts are intent on conquering the
Earth. First they have to deal with Gamera. Knowing his fondness for
children, they kidnap the bratty boy scouts and soon brainwash the
giant turtle into doing their evil bidding. It's important to note
that part of the brainwashing procedure involves a memory scan which
is close to 20 minutes of footage from the previous movies. If you're
hungry, behind on some chores, or just need a trip to the can,
there's plenty of time to do it. I personally pissed, finished the
dishes, and ate a bowl of crispix just in time to return to the
actual movie.
Most of the film is just the two kids
runing around the space ship trying to thwart the aliens schemes.
Monster footage is in short supply and most of the shots where Gamera
is destroying cities under alien control are just shots from the
first movie which is painfully obvious since everything suddenly
becomes black and white.
Only in the last ten minutes do we
actually get some new kaiju action when a mind probe free Gamera
faces off against a giant space squid. It's an ok battle that along
with a few crazy bits of the movie almost make it bearable. Gonna
have to put a warning label on this one as it's only for a hardcore
Gamera viewer.
So if the temptation ever strikes and
you're thinking of picking up this blu-ray, I'd say go ahead so long
as you're getting it for ten bucks or less. I've seen people complain
about the video quality but considering how cheap both the movies and
the release is, they're not too bad, still a nice step up from older
releases. Audio is likewise acceptable. Some folks may not be very
happy with the lack of dubbed versions so if you care about that sort
of thing keep in mind that there's just Japanese with subtitles.
That's where my only real issue lies as there are a few instances of
the subtitle timing being a bit off. It's not a major flaw as it only
happens once or twice but it warrants a mention. On a scale of “oh
god no” to “absolutely” this disc earns a simple “why not?”
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