Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Cheesy, Fudgey, Bowls.

So I've been trying to put together one of those big entries that makes it look like I'm actually attempting to make a legitimate blog. This is not that entry, This is about novelty dinners and cookies.

Kraft Garlic and Herb Alfredo mac and cheese plus Buffalo Cheddar mac and cheese:
In my day to day life, I consume ungodly quantities of mac & cheese. Sure it's bad for me, and lacks any semblance of class, but it's always cheap and available. Still; a man needs variety, and the new Kraft flavors at least mark an occasion for experimentation.
The Garlic and Herb version is nothing earth shattering (though I suppose it's a tad foolish to place cheesy pasta in the cataclysm category) yet it is surprisingly more robust than some legit alfredo I've tried. Definitely worth picking up a couple boxes for one of those nights when you feel the need for something starchy but still want to pretend that you're too mature for spongebob fun shapes.
The Buffalo Cheddar version isn't something I hold in high regard. Going in, I was positive that it would taste atrocious. Actually I was surprised when it turned out to be edible, just not exactly what I'd call inspiring. It starts with a mellow cheese flavor that slowly turns into a generic spicy after-burn. I know I'm leaving you high and dry on the details but there's not much more to say about this stuff than you might want to try it just so you can say you did.

Raspberry Oreo Fudge Cremes: Ever since I first heard of them, I have been dreaming of getting my meaty paws on a package of watermelon Oreo s. Very much like my bucket list of women to sleep with, this remains an incomplete goal. Thankfully the Nabisco cookie gods saw fit to bestow a slim amount of mercy onto their humble servant in the form of raspberry cream. These have been something of an educational item for me as I now know that several members of my family hate raspberries. That may not seem strange to anyone else but I always assumed that raspberries existed in the same category as cheese, bacon, tacos, and ice cream. Simply put I thought everyone liked em. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised since these are the same relations that claim to hate maple syrup.......filthy savages.
Getting back on point, these are some decent cookies. The cream has a very strong flavor that doesn't skimp on the berry. I wish they were presented in the traditional Oreo form however, as the fudge versions don't pair up with my coffee as nicely as the regular cookie. I'd say pick up a package unless you're one of those weird people I learned about that don't like raspberries. Honestly; what's up with that?

The Dunwich Horror: Stupid, simple, but not without merit. Dean Stockwell's porn stache is pretty sweet.

Poltergeist III: Showed this to my nephew so he'd understand why his mother and me hate mirrors. Failed to traumatize him.

Rubber: Crap. Complete and utter crap. A movie about a killer tire has no right to be this douchy.

Tune in next time for a Bob Newhart bowl and rubber duckies on ice. See ya!

Friday, July 12, 2013

My Slightly Eventful Absence.

Ohhh lordy I've been gone for a bit. Helping people move, summer cleaning, birthday barbecues, and late night quests in the woods behind major department stores. These are just a few of the things that have been occupying my time of late. Thankfully most of those distractions are on break so I can get to work on making this blog into something.... I'm not sure what, but something. Oh, and let's not forgot Ayman, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
So the aforementioned move was a two day effort to get my brother and sister-in-law a good 40 miles from the boonies and into proper civilization. Looking back, I find it hard to describe the difficulty of the whole process as the whole thing exists as some sort of dusty fragmented mess. I do however recall a good 15 minute section where I was left in the u-haul all by myself which resulted in a few items simply being tossed out while I hummed a nonstop rendition of puttin on the ritz for some unknowable reason, while my jeans repeatedly tore to the point of nearly revealing my man-bits to the neighborhood.
During the move, we came across my sis-in-laws cassette of Ayman, which was listed on the back flap as the greatest easy-listening, adult contemporary, classical, mellow mood, and about half a dozen other sub-genres. Honestly, this stuff makes Kenny G seem tough. I wanted to torment you with a sample but it refuses to work for whatever reason so here's a picture of bottles.

The following days were a combination of physical recovery and house cleaning to prep for our 4th of july cookout/birthday party. That's Right! I'm now a full 28 years old. God, what a terrifying prospect. I suppose it's a good omen that most older folk I know told me that 28 was a good year, the only hold out being my mother who listed pregnancy during a hot summer as a point of contempt. Somehow, I don't think I'll have to deal with that.
My birthday haul mostly consisted of cash and gift cards but a friend of mine gave me a bottle of maple syrup wine that I paln to consume this weekend while I watch my other gifts.

My brother got these for me, and I had to endure the wait until Wednesday to get em. I couldn't resist the urge to grab a copy of “The Howling” off amazon to make this a fully maple flavored scream factory weekend.
Speaking of which; I've been thinking of covering my Saturday night horror binges as a feature but seeing as we're so close to another one I'll give yall a quickie recap of last weeks viewing.
“The Car”: (1977) Staring: James Brolin and Ronny Cox. Directed by Eliot Silverstein.
In short: if you have a love for giant killer animal flicks like Jaws or Grizzly but secretly wished the monster had been a demonic sedan, you're in luck! Honestly this was a surprisingly well made flick with decent acting and direction, and plenty of craziness to keep you hooked. The part where the car actually flies through a house is almost fattening it's so wonderful.
“The Haunting of Julia” (Full Circle): (1977) Staring: Mia Farrow. Directed by Richard Loncraine.
Nice little classy ghost flick. It's apparently not available on dvd but you can check it out on netflix if you're so inclined. It's a little slow going, but the scares are decent. I had a major freak out when I checked on the actor who plays Mia's husband (a bloke by the name of Keir Dulela) and realized that he was not only the crazy boyfriend in Black Christmas, but mother fucking Dave in 2001! Somehow through almost a decade of watching Black Christmas every year, I never pieced that together!
“Moon of the Wolf”: (1972) Staring David Janssen (and a shomehow still hot in her forties) Barbara Rush. Directed by Daniel Petrie.
A serviceable TV werewolf movie that will now serve as my definition of forgettable. I forgot what the third movie I watched 4 or 5 times while working on this article, and I actually enjoyed it!
I have no idea what to leave you with sooooo here ya go.