Doubutsu Sentai Zyuohger The Movie: The Heart Pounding Circus Panic

If there's one advantage to procrastination it's that there's usually something left over to fall back on in a pinch. Case in point, when left with zero idea as to what to write about for the weekly post, simply dredge up a leftover Super Sentai flick. All the better if you have a winter cleaning mentality let's go back to last Summer and discuss Zyuougher The Movie: The Heart Pounding Circus Panic.

Having covered a few of these Summer flicks in the past, I've noticed a pattern that tends to leave them near the bottom of whatever series they're based on. The run time is often only a few minutes longer than a standard episode, with a rushed narrative that should be given more room to stretch, with the only real upgrades being a trifecta of higher budget, better cinematography, and a higher degree of violence. I'd say it's lucky that this is based on the generally decent and classy Zyuohger but even these animal heroes can't quite salvage this one.

Zero effort is made to buck the trend of rushed narrative as this begins with a giant robot fight that results in over half the team being taken captive in about two-minutes flat. Only after Misao rescues Yamato from drowning do we flashback to an explanation of what the hell is going on.

Early one morning the team learns of a traveling circus seemingly populated by Zyumans. Wasting no time in check it out, they arrive for the show we're the audience is treated to tremendously corny circus acts aided by some truly tacky special effects. Everyone enjoys the show until an evil ringmaster who operates an evil space circus shows up and kidnaps all the children. His plan is to transfer the energy from crying children into a beam that will destroy Earth. Given that these are Japanese kids, his plan is pretty much foolproof since they won't stop crying over every damn thing. The reason for destroying an entire planet you may ask? Not unlike a villain from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, he finds Earth is in the way of constructing his newest attraction. Sounds like reasonable motive for eliminating countless lives.

From that point on, most of the team is captive aboard the giant circus tent spaceship attempting to get all the damn kids to quit crying, while Yamato works out a rescue plan. There's the customary bondage scene (why are these folks always getting chained up?), the team regroups, action ensues, the day is saved with all of a minute to wrap up the story before credits roll. Some might say the pacing is economical but in reality it's more akin to whiplash.

That over the top pacing is such an odd flaw with these films as there's an opportunity to do something with more depth. There's a bevy of new circus characters who could have received some actual development, even the core cast could have been used more. Misao was very new at this point in the series and is used in roughly two scenes. The series primary villains barely squeeze in an appearance, mainly to make an excuse for why they're not joining in on the action. Worst of all, the whole thing feels like it's been structured off of the live Sentai stage shows, right down to the part where the heroes are nearly defeated until all the kiddies shout encouragement and power them up. This sort of corny audience interaction makes sense when doing live entertainment at a theme park or festival, in a movie however it's downright revolting.

Not everything is a crapshoot though. The action is very solid, and given the higher budget it sll looks much nicer than usual. There are some very nice wide shots, and as I mentioned before it's a step up in the violence department. In fact it's a tad off-putting when the villain threatens to stab a child only to have that same kid doing the corny encouragement mere moments later.

I'm a little disappointed that I couldn't enjoy it all a bit more. I went in with the proper knowledge that the Summer flicks usually suck but I'd forgotten how much more classy and well done this team is than the two that bookend them. Their personalities are so well-defined and multidimensional, and each actor has the proper chops to put in a believable performance. I missed this crew a lot over the past year which makes seeing them in such a lackluster adventure all the more disheartening.

There's still two more Zyuohger flicks out there which means we still get to hang out with this team a few more times. Luckily the head writer of the series is working on the newest Super Sentai series which is set to kick off in just a few weeks. This year we're getting two small teams with a cops vs robbers theme. Like it or not, this means Sentai coverage will resume a more normal schedule in the coming months.

Until then it's back to working on my various other projects. Since losing the security job I've written material every single day whether that be an article for here, another site, or a novel. So far the results are building up which hopefully means some of the projects I've hinted at will finally come to fruition. Consider that a cliffhanger if you need one.

Star Wars: Destiny Game Review

In the roughly five years that I've been enjoying tabletop gaming, one particular category has proven to be troublesome, that's collectible games. Whether they be classic collectible card games like Magic: The Gathering, squad based combat titles such as X-Wing Miniatures, or the narrative driven living card game Arkham Horror: The Card Game. each has in one way or another let me down by either being too cumbersome, fiddly, and of course expensive. Even those that I've somewhat enjoyed like Dicemasters, or the aforementioned Arkahm Horror fail to hold my attention. It's a shame as the idea of a collectible game goes right to the heart of this hobby, experiencing a growing system alongside fellow players over the course of years sounds great, but for someone like myself the games don't work out.

Last year however, I decided to give yet another one of these titles a chance with Star Wars: Destiny. Seeing as it was released in the classic collectible model with boosters, and it being a Fantasy Flight title (a company known for excess and sloppy rules) I thought this might be another experiment that would waste my slim gaming budget. To my endless surprise, the results were far different than I ever could have imagined. At last here was a game with straightforward rules, easy deck-building, quick play time, and elegant design. Yes it is still somewhat hindered by a few issues mostly steaming from it's collectible model, yet it has held this gamers attention from the intial starter kits to the new fourth series.

Like so many of the games I've mentioned, Destiny can accommodate multiple players but is really intended for 2. While that may seems restrictive for someone who enjoys full board games it's balanced out by several factors like the speed of play. It's important to realize that even though it can work with more people, more so now as they're introducing things like draft play, for those that don't have a game store it would be wise to get this if you live with a family member or significant other who will join in. It's not the sort of thing you bring to game night for a group.

The game is largely devided into heroes and villains along with some neutral cards that can be applied to either side. Characters come in one of three colors, and have two point values for team building, one if you're only using one of their dice, the other for two. The max points allowed for your team is thirty. After that you need only to put together a deck of thirty cards from the same colors as your characters or some of those neutral ones. The cards can be instant one use abilities, equipment to attach to your characters, or droids and vehicles to offer support.

Once you're ready it's time to face off and that's where the games unique pacing kicks in. Most two-player collectible games have multi-phase turns where you draw cards, activate characters, lay out special items, attack, and so forth. Here you pick one thing per turn. Activate one character? Turn over. Play an instant? Turn over. This turns games into a proper back and forth duel. To be fair though some players do not enjoy this style of play, they actually prefer the extended turns of something like Magic where one player narrates a massive turn, followed by the other doing some math in response. And that's fine. Lord knows I've made a few good gaming memories from those massive turns but for my money the pressure of choosing which single action is most important at that moment is far better.

Adding more pressure to the game's pacing are the two victory conditions. Unlike most of these games where they aim is to attack the player directly, his cards only serving as a form of barrier, here there are two different winning conditions. One is to eliminate the other players team, and the other is to have them burn through their entire deck of cards. Admittedly I've never seen a game end with that second option but seeing as there's only 30 cards per player, it's a real possibility.

More than anything the game just feels right. The terminology, character abilities, and round structure all make sense. There's only one resource for instance and multiple ways to obtain it along with ways to cheapen the cost of cards. Battlefield cards likewise add a thematic element and create this odd balance between rushing to nab it for a bomus and first player status, but wanting to stay in the round issuing commands to your team.

Beyond that the presentation is excellent with nice art on sturdy cards and the dice, oh those dice. These are thick, weighty, printed die that are just heaven for anyone with a tactile nature.

For as many parts of the game as I love, there are a few that are irritating or underdeveloped. Two of these are an inherent part of collectible gaming. The most obvious being that games like this are far more expensive than a nice complete board game. With that model also comes the frustration that you may go an taciturnity before getting the characters you want. It's hard to express the sheer aggravation of going through booster pack after booster pack without getting your first yellow villain all while stockpiling plenty of yellow villain events and upgrades.

Team building early can be a bit frustrating as well. It's not as much of an issue once you have a nice sized collection, but there are still times when you can't make the group you want, either because you haven't got a second die for one of them or because even their base point values prevent them from pairing up. Now if you're playing this at home, there's always an option to allow each other to go over by a couple points, but it's still an issue when playing by the normal rules.

On that same topic, there are times when teams come up short of those 30 points. Originally a player simply had to live with the fact that they couldn't bridge a leftover 2 or 3 points. That's changed recently with the introduction of Plot Cards. These fill in those tiny gaps with small bonus allowing them to start with extra resources or a larger hand of cards. Sadly it seems like these cards aren't well distributed seeing as an entire booster box yielded only five of them.

Even with those complaints the system stays fun as there's always something new to try and the strategies make sense. If you come across a new card, not only can you see the potential in it, but there's no need to change your entire deck to fit it in. Of course there are still cards that can piggyback off of each other and strange traps that can be assembled yet there's just as good a chance of winning the game with a straightforward strong team and good luck mitigation.

At this point in my tabletop hobby, a game like Destiny is a godsend. There's very little room left for regular board games, and I wouldn't dream of parting with most of my collection. Having a collectible game that I actually enjoy allows me to still support the local game store and meat new people without risking my closet exploding. Plus there's a certain joy in picking up a single booster pack when you're feeling down. It's a nice little treat not unlike candy only without the accompanying dental issues.

If you're someone who occasionally ponders getting a game like this, I'd definitely recommend checking out some videos on youtube or downloading the rules. Don't get sidetracked or worried by talk of the different kinds of play or tournament rules, just focus on the key gameplay. If you decide to actually give it a short there are four starter kits. Two or hero based single player kits, two are single player villain, and there's a two-player kit as well. None of them offer a complete deck but it's still a good taste of the game, and buying a combination of them will give you some customization options.

While board game coverage may account for some of my less popular posts, gotta check the numbers on that, it feels good to share something like this with you all at a point of the year when so many of us are shuttered up indoors watching the snow fall. Few activities help to pass the Winter blues like some nice tabletop gaming. And it's certainly healthier than another round of drinks. On that note, I leave you for today. May the Schwartz be with you.

CosmicSparky's Top 100 Horror Flicks: Zombi 2

As a kid I never really considered myself as a horror fan. Sure I loved stuff like the Alien movies and X-Files, not to mention a fair share of monstrous toys. Maybe I just figured it was pretty universal to have an interest in weird creatures and spooky stories. Even into the mid 90's when I would camp out in the living room to watch Joe Bob Briggs host the hell out of Monstervision, I still didn't identify as a horror fan. Moving into my late teens and the glory days of the DVD market, something happened and horror became a much larger part of my life. I can never pinpoint the exact moment when it happened but somewhere along the line I found myself collecting horror movies at a steady pace.

In the spring of 2008 that collection had grown enough that I decided it was time to restore the glory of those old Monstervision nights. I declared that every Saturday would be horror movie night. After the first shaky couple of months it became this became a constant within our house. Scary flicks have are that little something to punctuate every week whether it be to celebrate a good time or to make up for a lousy one.

With this year marking the tenth anniversary of this Saturday night tradition I thought it might be a fun addition to the site to share with you all my 100 favorite horror flicks. Now I want to make that very clear, these are what I enjoy the most. I can't declare them to be the absolute best flicks out there as that would require me to have seen every single scary movie ever made in the history of the world. Nor will I adhere to historical relevance, so no matter how much Scream may matter historically, it's not popping up in my countdown.

There will be some familiar titles no doubt, like The Fly, but you'll also see some bizarre picks like Full Circle or Pin: A Plastic Nightmare. Also these are not appearing in any sort of quality ranking. I'll simply write about which one I feel like discussing at the time. Just understand that if it's part of this series, whether it be something deep and well-made or something so bad it's hilarious, I'm including these flicks because I think they're an outstanding part of any horror collection.

Given the current frightful weather across the states, I think we deserve a nice tropical vacation, so let's go with a movie that doesn't meet most of the usual standards of quality but sure is a lot of warm weather fun.

Zombi 2 was one of the earlier Italian horror flicks to enter my collection, and while it eventually wormed its way into my hear it also served as something of a lesson in film buff bullshitting. For the life of me I can not count the number of times I have read film nerds wax poetically about the deeper meanings and quality of Italian horror, and while I have a love for some of these films there are incredibly few I would tout as having any real narrative meat. By and large you watch Italian flicks because you want some pure unfettered excess. That's where I grew to love this flick. Think of it this way. Some days you need a nice healthy meal. Maybe a salad, some whole grain toast, you get the picture. Then there's those days where the only thing that can lift you spirit is Taco Bell. Zombi 2 Is pure Taco Bell.

The story is crazy simple. A boat carrying some dead bodies, and one not so dead one, arrive in New York City. A reporter meats up with the daughter of the boats owner and soon the two set off to the Caribbean in search of answers. Along the way they hitch a boat ride with a married couple and arrive at an island occupied by a shifty doctor, his spiteful wife, and craploads of zombies. There's honestly not much more than that. There's no deep character study or revelations about human nature. It's all a sun drenched excuse to get people topless and bloody. And on that front tit totally delivers.

Everything you could ask for from a sleazy zombie picture is on display. Cranial explosion, burning corpses, eye trauma, topless diving, and even a fight between a zombie and a shark! It's like the sketchbook of a nasty little boy brought to the screen with just enough overwrought and poorly dubbed dialogue keeping things from getting too serious.

I just remembered you may be wondering about the first Zombi, well there isn't one, not really anyway. You see Zombi was an international title for Dawn of the Dead, this is simply an unofficial sequel. It's a fairly common practice in Italy. Even the Evil Dead films have some completely unrelated sequels in name only. The Zombi franchise itself doesn't dodge this practice either as later entries like Killing Birds are simply dragged in to benefit from brand recognition.

While I fully endorse this movie as a bit of trashy fun, it's definitely not something for new horror fans to dive right into. If you're just developing an interest in the genre and hoping to catch up on some old goodies, you'd be much better served with something like The Fog. Zombi 2 is something you can sit on for a long time, until just the right time when life has left you exhausted and sort of brainless. Then it's time to gather some like minded individuals, some tasty hooch, and just enjoy the show.

That's all for tonight, folks. I hope you will all enjoy this new feature, though I can't say for certain how frequently it will appear. Haven't even decided on all the titles that will be featured, so there will be surprises for all of us.

Shuriken Sentai Ninninger Returns: Ninnin Girls vs Boys.

Here we are in another new year and boy has this one ever started off on an odd note. For as much as people claim this time is about change and life goals it seems all the more real when you get started by saying goodbye to a job you've held for fifteen months. Don't get me wrong, I'm not all that down about this turn of events, truthfully I'm looking forward to the opportunity to focus more on my own projects rather than freeze my ass off in a dirty old guard shack. That being said, I'm still in an odd place to start the year. If I utilize this opportunity though this could really be a year for advancements, and maybe I'll even grow a crazy unemployment beard. In a wonderful bit of serendipity, today's topic ended up focusing on people working towards their larger goals, not to mention it allows us to revisit some old friends which is what holidays are all about. Let's check up on the old ninja crew in Shuriken Sentai Ninninger Returns: Ninnin Girls vs Boys.

It's been two years since the end of the original TV series, and all the Igasaki kids are returning home to reconnect and compare how they've progressed. Seeing as it wouldn't be much of a Sentai story without ridiculous monsters attacking, you can probably guess what happens. Instead of the whole group joining up to destroy the baddies, it all comes down to Fuuka and Kasumi in new gaudy costumes to save the day. Turns out Fuuka & Takaharu's mother has recently returned to push her daughters budding career as a ninja idol and she managed to rope Kasumi and another poor girl into this crime-fighting super group.

Turns out old mommy dearest is kind of an asshole. She's a highly successful producer of ninja entertainment which not only keeps her away from home but is largely the reason she approached her husband in the first place. Her current plan to promote an all-girl ninja squad involves convincing the boys that they're no longer needed, so she sets up a girls vs boys showdown to decide who will continue defending Japan.

With all this commotion, our heroes fail to realize a few of their old foes have been revived by their old grudges. I'll be honest, this sub-plot hardly matters. It's mainly an easy way to provide some punching bags for our team without spending cash to create a new baddie, and actually that's not much of a problem, but we'll come back to this point.

The boys and girls face off in one on one combat with dad serving as an extra for the girls team. Kinji is pitted against a new green ranger who claims to be familiar with him, though he's clueless as to how. While almost evenly matched, the girls come out on top. In a surprising show of maturity, Takaharu congratulates his sister on becoming so strong and encourages her to follow her own path rather than let their mother dictate everything.

The remainder of the film is primarily made up of action with the girls being bested by the villains, and the boys show up to get the band back together properly and save the day. Oh,and since I'm unsure where to plug this bit in, the green ranger turns out to be a girl who's possessed by the spirit of Kyuemon who needs to repay his debt to the team before he can be reincarnated.....seems sensible. While far from the best action this crew has given us, these fight scenes showcase a level of confidence that permeates the whole film and makes this something better than the usual Sentai movie.

During it's entire run, Ninninger struggled to find solid footing. It was as if the show wasn't confident enough to decide whether it wanted to be a crazy grab bag of ninja fun or serious action. Instead of a finding a nice mix of elements, everything always felt a little half-baked. That's not as much the case here as the entire cast and subsequently the characters they portray have all grown considerably. They're exchanges, humor, and affection for each-other shine through in a way that would have made the show something really special. I can't help but feel this is what the series should have been doing in it's last leg. At least we get a vision of how good this group would have been if given a little more time and care. Even the elders learn a few lessons about how to be better parents and let their children grow. Especially after Takaharu calls out his mom in a great scene.

That confidence is also the theme of the film itself. Mainly the focus is towards Fuuka as the youngest member of the group, and if she's strong enough to achieve her idol dreams. In fact, the movie almost straight out admits she was the best character from the show, though Nagi gets a couple good bits for himself. This character focus is why the lackluster villain subplot is a fairly minor issue.

There's an almost off-putting honesty to the message of the film as everyone is a little closer to their dream than they were before, yet they all still have a little further to go. It's a pleasant and still realistic lesson for kids that you can achieve your goals but it will still take time, possibly years. In the end, our heroes even remind the audience that if they ever feel lonely or afraid just think of them for comfort and keep moving forward.

As you might imagine, watching a flick so plane about following your dreams felt a bit odd since I currently have to figure out the next phase of my employment history. Can't say as I expected so much encouragement from TV ninjas but I did appreciate the sentiment.

As for you online folk, you should definitely expect to see more from me in the coming months on here and as I attempt to launch a massive article series elsewhere. I have a feeling that the next couple of years are going to be very transformative. I hope you'll all tag along for the ride.