November in itself was something of a prolonged blur if we’re being at all honest. What few distinct moments I can recall seem incredibly far off despite being just weeks ago. Among those snippets of consciousness are mostly shopping outings, meaning you’ll have to forgive this turning mostly into another snack report. It’s just that when days start to run together, the weekend where you find Christmas cereal has the best chance of sticking out. It’s not all sugary treats though so stick around even if you aren’t obsessed with novelty ice cream.
Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cake Ice Cream
Speaking of novelty ice cream let’s talk about one of the absolute highlights of the season so far. This Wal-Mart exclusive was set to come out in November though yours truly found some before Halloween and while it’s initial announcement was exciting there was a bit of trepidation as the first news posts didn’t mention which company was behind this magical slurry. Once word broke that this was the work of Hudsonville, a prime Michgian ice cream brand, all worry washed away.
If you’re on the hunt please remember that this is only available in pints, a marketing choice that’s probably for your own safety. The packaging is unmissable though with a bright red tacky holiday look calling back to a time when people were less obsessed with calorie counting or modern aesthetics.
Digging into the goo reveals something that totally lives up to the name. This is a debbie Christmas tree cake turned into ice cream. Everything from the sprinkles, cream, cake, and that waxy stuff all blended with ice cream to create something astoundingly decadent. It’s pretty much flawless in every regard. If you see some, get it, horde it if you must. Build a temple in worship of it. Shit’s that good.
Elf on the Shelf Hot Cocoa Cereal
For those who found the original elf on the shelf cereal to be a bit underwhelming, which… yeah it had problems, Kellog’s is looking to rope you in this year with a new secondary offering based on that most beloved of drinks, hot cocoa. The packaging still isn’t the best but I found the cocoa coloring is an improvement overall which translates to the cereal.
Let’s be honest; as far as chocolate cereals go there are better options out there. That being said this is a fine translation of mass market hot cocoa to cereal form right down to the tiny, super dry, marshmallows. The texture, flavor, and effects on milk are generally pleasing. It’s been good enough to warrant eating the whole box. Nothing amazing, just solid festive fare.
Apple Pie Toast Crunch
If approximating hot drinks isn’t your thing how about desert? The toast crunch line has broadened this year with Apple Pie and oh Christ is this somehow competes with little debbie ice cream for title of reason for the season.
The presentation is alright at best with a solid green and Santa caps on all the lil toast crunch guya. Once you’re inside however the world changes. The smell is only a bit off from regulr toast crunch with a solid hint of fruit. The flavor is just amazing though. Somehow the texture even helps to maintain that concept of refreshing and sweet apple goodness. It’s good enough to be deserving of a year round position or at the very least returning every Christmas for all time. Absolutely outstanding.
Mtn Dew Gingerbread Spiced
Not content to spend all their creativity on Halloween those folks over at Dew have brought us yet another new flavor for the yuletide. Rather than stick to something safe like a holiday punch they went straight to the baked goods section for a gingerbread soda. Don’t let the idea freak you out cause this is basically the closet dew has ever come to ginger ale and the results are pretty tasty.
Gotta admit the packaging on this one is a little off due to the sorta pissy yellow tint on everything. Plus angry gingerbread men don’t scream refreshment quite like rocking apples or mysterious phantoms. Flavor wise we’ve got something worthwhile here. There’s a definite ginger tinge with a bit more citrus back-up than usual ginger ales.
Upon first drink the thought occurred that this would make for an awesome float though that experiment didn’t totally pan out. In a float the flavor is greatly diminished making for something very smooth and sorta bland almost like a snow float which, while seasonally appropriate, isn’t the most satisfying. It did inspire me to make a float with the Kroger exclusive apple flavor which was quite nice.
Gingerbread Kit Kat
Anytime Kit Kat unleashes a new flavor my brow instinctively flexes with suspicion. More than most brands Kit Kat can waver wildly between fantastic and downright gross. I’m happy to report these fall towards the upper end of alright. Initially there’s a waxy sorta candle-like flavor going on that doesn’t work. After you bite into it though and all the flavors start to properly blend these end up as a pretty decent treat. Not up to the level of Key Lime or Cinamon Kit Kats but a worthy improvement over past mistakes like pumpkin spice.
M&M’s Snowballs
As someone who holds pretzel M&M’s in the highest regard this winter variety seemed like a good chance for the oft forgotten M&M to get some time in the spotlight. Unfortunately The white chocolate this brand uses doesn’t blend well enough with the pretzel resulting in a candy that shifts between being too salty or too sweet depending on the overall composition. They’re still edible but pretty lame and a major letdown.
When not occupied with work, video games, board games, pets, chores, you get the idea, I like to work through a big pile of unviwed dvds & blu-rays. Sometimes that pile undergoes a growth spurt thanks in no small part to the dollar tree. During the pandemic I discovered a bounty of dirt cheap entertainment I’d sadly neglected for far too long. The excuse back in the day was just how many of those movies are crap, and indeed many of them are. Even so there’s plenty of good, great, or at least outright bizarre flicks to be found for less than the cost of a rental.
This most recent haul lacks for much in the way of horror, maybe 3 titles in total, but the remainder is made up of some real special treats. Can’t tell you how long I’ve waited to see Kid Galahad, a movie that manages to house both Elvis and Bronson. There’s an early 2000’s western called The Claim with an absolutely bonkers cast of folks like Wes bentley and Milla Jovovich. Best of all is a classic of lazy Saturday afternoons, Men at Work. I know this movie is hated by many but I couldn’t tell you how often I sat through this one as a kid just enjoying the antics of Charlie and Emilio. We might have to talk about that one in detail somewhere down the road. First I gotta make the perfect setting for it, early Sat/Sun afternoon preferably with a nice selection cheese snacks and a small reason to feel smug. Could make for a fine piece of holiday therapy. You keep Christmas in your way and let me keep it in mine. Suppose this should mark a warning that if I’m your secret Santa there’s gonna be some dollar store flicks in your stocking.
Well this wasn’t amazing, moreso since images won't work for some reason, but I’m back, that’s the important thing. It’s bee harder and harder to find writing time in recent months but I’d like to keep this place in fighting shape again. Plus I might find the lil spark that’s currently missing from my holiday mood. Heck, maybe’s it’s finally time to write about the night court episode with Santa and michael j fox. You’ve all been warned.
