December 2021 Snack Report and the Value of Cheap Movies

 

During the hustle and bustle of the holiday season it’s not uncommon to let a thing or two slip by, perhaps leave a chore lagging behind, or maybe as an example totally neglect your blog for close to a month. Yeah, I’ll own up to it, what began as a selfish mission to recharge post Halloween led to a number of crazy weeks. Within the past week alone I’ve worked black friday retail, gotten two vaccines, seen plenty of snow, and had to endure a doggy house guest.. So yes I’ve been properly busy but with the holiday feeling growing like some sort of festive fungus I’d say it’s time to get back on the horse.

    November in itself was something of a prolonged blur if we’re being at all honest. What few distinct moments I can recall seem incredibly far off despite being just weeks ago. Among those snippets of consciousness are mostly shopping outings, meaning you’ll have to forgive this turning mostly into another snack report. It’s just that when days start to run together, the weekend where you find Christmas cereal has the best chance of sticking out. It’s not all sugary treats though so stick around even if you aren’t obsessed with novelty ice cream.

Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cake Ice Cream

    Speaking of novelty ice cream let’s talk about one of the absolute highlights of the season so far. This Wal-Mart exclusive was set to come out in November though yours truly found some before Halloween and while it’s initial announcement was exciting there was a bit of trepidation as the first news posts didn’t mention which company was behind this magical slurry. Once word broke that this was the work of Hudsonville, a prime Michgian ice cream brand, all worry washed away.

    If you’re on the hunt please remember that this is only available in pints, a marketing choice that’s probably for your own safety. The packaging is unmissable though with a bright red tacky holiday look calling back to a time when people were less obsessed with calorie counting or modern aesthetics.

    Digging into the goo reveals something that totally lives up to the name. This is a debbie Christmas tree cake turned into ice cream. Everything from the sprinkles, cream, cake, and that waxy stuff all blended with ice cream to create something astoundingly decadent. It’s pretty much flawless in every regard. If you see some, get it, horde it if you must. Build a temple in worship of it. Shit’s that good.

Elf on the Shelf Hot Cocoa Cereal

    For those who found the original elf on the shelf cereal to be a bit underwhelming, which… yeah it had problems, Kellog’s is looking to rope you in this year with a new secondary offering based on that most beloved of drinks, hot cocoa. The packaging still isn’t the best but I found the cocoa coloring is an improvement overall which translates to the cereal.

    Let’s be honest; as far as chocolate cereals go there are better options out there. That being said this is a fine translation of mass market hot cocoa to cereal form right down to the tiny, super dry, marshmallows. The texture, flavor, and effects on milk are generally pleasing. It’s been good enough to warrant eating the whole box. Nothing amazing, just solid festive fare.

Apple Pie Toast Crunch

    If approximating hot drinks isn’t your thing how about desert? The toast crunch line has broadened this year with Apple Pie and oh Christ is this somehow competes with little debbie ice cream for title of reason for the season.

    The presentation is alright at best with a solid green and Santa caps on all the lil toast crunch guya. Once you’re inside however the world changes. The smell is only a bit off from regulr toast crunch with a solid hint of fruit. The flavor is just amazing though. Somehow the texture even helps to maintain that concept of refreshing and sweet apple goodness. It’s good enough to be deserving of a year round position or at the very least returning every Christmas for all time. Absolutely outstanding.

Mtn Dew Gingerbread Spiced

    Not content to spend all their creativity on Halloween those folks over at Dew have brought us yet another new flavor for the yuletide. Rather than stick to something safe like a holiday punch they went straight to the baked goods section for a gingerbread soda. Don’t let the idea freak you out cause this is basically the closet dew has ever come to ginger ale and the results are pretty tasty.

    Gotta admit the packaging on this one is a little off due to the sorta pissy yellow tint on everything. Plus angry gingerbread men don’t scream refreshment quite like rocking apples or mysterious phantoms. Flavor wise we’ve got something worthwhile here. There’s a definite ginger tinge with a bit more citrus back-up than usual ginger ales.

    Upon first drink the thought occurred that this would make for an awesome float though that experiment didn’t totally pan out. In a float the flavor is greatly diminished making for something very smooth and sorta bland almost like a snow float which, while seasonally appropriate, isn’t the most satisfying. It did inspire me to make a float with the Kroger exclusive apple flavor which was quite nice.

Gingerbread Kit Kat

    Anytime Kit Kat unleashes a new flavor my brow instinctively flexes with suspicion. More than most brands Kit Kat can waver wildly between fantastic and downright gross. I’m happy to report these fall towards the upper end of alright. Initially there’s a waxy sorta candle-like flavor going on that doesn’t work. After you bite into it though and all the flavors start to properly blend these end up as a pretty decent treat. Not up to the level of Key Lime or Cinamon Kit Kats but a worthy improvement over past mistakes like pumpkin spice.

M&M’s Snowballs

    As someone who holds pretzel M&M’s in the highest regard this winter variety seemed like a good chance for the oft forgotten M&M to get some time in the spotlight. Unfortunately The white chocolate this brand uses doesn’t blend well enough with the pretzel resulting in a candy that shifts between being too salty or too sweet depending on the overall composition. They’re still edible but pretty lame and a major letdown.

    When not occupied with work, video games, board games, pets, chores, you get the idea, I like to work through a big pile of unviwed dvds & blu-rays. Sometimes that pile undergoes a growth spurt thanks in no small part to the dollar tree. During the pandemic I discovered a bounty of dirt cheap entertainment I’d sadly neglected for far too long. The excuse back in the day was just how many of those movies are crap, and indeed many of them are. Even so there’s plenty of good, great, or at least outright bizarre flicks to be found for less than the cost of a rental.

    This most recent haul lacks for much in the way of horror, maybe 3 titles in total, but the remainder is made up of some real special treats. Can’t tell you how long I’ve waited to see Kid Galahad, a movie that manages to house both Elvis and Bronson. There’s an early 2000’s western called The Claim with an absolutely bonkers cast of folks like Wes bentley and Milla Jovovich. Best of all is a classic of lazy Saturday afternoons, Men at Work. I know this movie is hated by many but I couldn’t tell you how often I sat through this one as a kid just enjoying the antics of Charlie and Emilio. We might have to talk about that one in detail somewhere down the road. First I gotta make the perfect setting for it, early Sat/Sun afternoon preferably with a nice selection cheese snacks and a small reason to feel smug. Could make for a fine piece of holiday therapy. You keep Christmas in your way and let me keep it in mine. Suppose this should mark a warning that if I’m your secret Santa there’s gonna be some dollar store flicks in your stocking.

    Well this wasn’t amazing, moreso since images won't work for some reason, but I’m back, that’s the important thing. It’s bee harder and harder to find writing time in recent months but I’d like to keep this place in fighting shape again. Plus I might find the lil spark that’s currently missing from my holiday mood. Heck, maybe’s it’s finally time to write about the night court episode with Santa and michael j fox. You’ve all been warned.

Happy Halloween Soda Party

 

    Time and tine again it amazes me how much each season can have it’s own mood and tone separate from those of the past. This can radically differ from what we expect as well. Marching into the Halloween season this year I thought it was going to be a massive return to form after the more muted 2020 model. Instead it’s been a mixed bag of developments on that direction alongside lingering difficulties like piss poor supply chains at stores. Admittedly it took me longer than usual to find the best way to take in this Halloween, which is as something of a zen observer. This wasn’t a season to be sucked into or even forced but to be gently prodded and then viewed in comfort.

    Little known tidbit about yours truly but during my media-obsessed youth I took more than few life lessons and viewpoints from favorite flicks like the dirty slacker work-ethic of Tremors. One of my biggest inspirations for how to view life was Ricky from The Burbs, not Corey Feldman himself mind you cause that guy… yeeesh. I always loved the sight of a character who reveled in his simple surroundings, taking entertainment from his immediate surroundings. Rickey is essentially the spirit animal of this season as best illustrated tonight when one of my favorite moments was just sitting in the garage alongside my cat, sipping pumpkin ale, and watching rainfall on my decorations. As an activity it could technically be done any night of the year but when else would the beer be brewed with pumpkins and the yard be filled with giant spiders and gravestones?

    In the spirit of just enjoying the simple things, one of most recent little adventures was a small soda tasting event. The Hitcher was on tv, I turned on some of the wall lanterns and busted out a line-up of various limited flavors for all to try. Like a wine-tasting only somehow less damaging on teeth.

    The first flavor on tap isn’t actually Halloween inspired but it’s new and required assigning a mission to a relative on a road trip. Mtn Dew recently brought out a Food Lion exclusive called Uproar. Being from Michigan I’m not sure I’ve ever even seen a Food Lion so when my sister announced her plans to head to the Carolina's to drop off Ikea furniture I swooped in and bade her bring back as much as possible. Is Uproar worth owing someone thirty bucks? Almost.

    Let’s be fair; Dew is putting out so many flavors in recent years that some of them are actually beginning to blend together in my mind. Scent wise this is one of the all-time best with the Kiwi berry combo smelling just plain awesome. Taste is good but a little hard to pin down as I swear there’s bits of past Dews floating around in there. Neither flavor truly takes over leaving the distinction of simply being really good candy water. But I do mean really good candy water definitely deserving of hoarding for those with access.

    Outside of the stash of Uproar and another 12-pack of Voodew 3 my sister also brought back a bottle of Sheets Pumpkin Pie Soda. Don’t let first impressions matter too much cause this stuff smells like total ass but the flavor ain’t half bad. Think of the crossroads between cream soda and ginger ale and you’ll have a decent idea of what’s going on. It’s both smooth and bitey, just a shame it’s scented like corpse.

    Next up were two bottles I’d picked up nearly a month ago starting with Hanks Caramel Apple Cream Soda. Oh yeah, this was some good shit right here. The scent almost perfectly captures every aspect with proper waves of apple and candy. Taste is mostly on point as well though I wish there was just a little more of that apple pucker to it. If I’d thought of it adding some Dew Thrashed Apple woulda been a fine idea.

    Last up was Hanks Pumpkin Spice Cream soda which I’d feared had the potential to be the worst of the bunch. Turns out it was, just not for the reasons I expected. I’d imagined something with a nasty candle taste but the actual product just tastes like… soda. No particular soda either. Almost like a jumble of leftover flavors from a pop machine. Sheets did a much better job tackling this concept but at least Hanks has that lovely caramel apple.

    Another of those odd moments that only seem to happen this time of year was last week , maybe a Wednesday at 2 AM. I decided it was time to make a pumpkin totem. No doubt you’ve seen a few in your own towns. Somebody takes the classic plastic pumpkin pail, drills a hole in the bottom, and stacks em around a pole wrapped in lights. It’s a pretty low-budget decoration with a decent impact on whatever your display happens to be. It was the feeling of welding power tools to augment candy buckets in the wee hours that really made this special.

    It might seem like I’m a bit melancholy and indeed I am shocked that the big night’s almost here. As with so many seasons there were great surprises and a few missed opportunities. Wasn’t able to keep the blog posted anywhere near as much as I’d planed but I wanted to get at least one more out there for all you fellow Halloweeny folks. Our time is here, to truly revel in a holiday dressed in whimsically grim attire. Go out and enjoy the simple pleasures of this time while you can. Listen to the Maniac Cop rap while heading to micky D’s for a pumpkin cream pie. Take one more after dark stroll through the park. Don’t force it, just nudge it and enjoy the results of this most wonderful time. Thanks to anybody who includes this small space as part of their year and may you all have the happiest of Halloweens.

Halloween Book Sale 2021

 

    One of my favorite aspects of the holidays is how they add just that touch of something extra to otherwise mundane activities. Walks and rides are more soothing when there’s decorations to awe at while shopping becomes an act of discovery with store aisles carrying seasonal surprises. It’s important to harness that energy in order to make each day feel satisfactory. That’s what leads to personal rituals like the Halloween book sale. For most folks it’s just a library book sale but when you make it a purposeful scavenger hunt for horror items it becomes a proper event. Tough this is almost universally ranked among my least read posts each year I still invite you all to come along for the fun.

    If you’re wondering why there’s no post about mood tables, or the planned bookcase, it’s because I haven’t finished em. Part of the issue is just how much has changed around the house. There’s been just enough shifting and moving to create new spaces while eliminating others that I’m sometimes left scratching my head as to what to do. Plus decorating a massive, and slightly incomplete, bookcase is a good deal different than any table. The upside is that I get to work on it little by little, keeping the mood of Halloween alive through creativity rather than simple admiration. All that said I think inspiration may have finally struck tonight.

    Finding decent horror goodies at this sale is always a challenge due to their overall rarity combined with the amount of collectors and flippers out there. This year felt even tougher thanks to the increased floor space as the sale moved to a nearby church. A massive spread meant great eyestrain that further compounded the usual difficulties of this event. Not sure if any of you have ever noticed but there’s this weird phenomenon where a lot of romance novels, mainly the hardcover ones, look like horror titles thanks to vague titles, fancy font, and sometimes Gothic covers. Then there’s the usual array of mystery novels to toss aside. And while it may seem counterproductive, I don’t take every horror item I find. Some get left behind due to not sounding interesting enough plus it only seems fair to leave something behind for other horror hunters.

    Naturally I don’t restrict myself solely to scary stuff though it’s always wise to not go over the top when already months behind on the personal reading list. This sale however had a decent amount of R. A. Salvatore stuff on offer. Had a small share of these years ago and always enjoyed the adventurous tone and boss ass violence the man conveys through his writing. There were more in paperback format but if I was gonna take this chance to rebuild a little Salvatore library then it’s gonna be proper hardcovers. The Legacy and Passage to Dawn are the real highlights here since these copies still fetch new prices online. What stinks is these are the 1^st and 4^th of that particular series meaning there’s some hunting to be done. The Orc King and The Pirate King however are a series or two later in continuity and at least are in order with a lower price point for part 3. Even if you’ve zero interest in Forgotten Realms D&D media these are fun books when you need a spot of adventure which is usually how I feel come November.

    Our first horror item showcases precisely what makes this hunt so fun. Came across this hardcover of Bless The Child by Cathy Cash Spellman. Flipped it over only to see a brief excerpt with folks talking about a cult. Cults are cool, this could be good, then I check the inner flap where the quick explanation something along the lines of such and such is a forty-two year old grandmother. Also she’s about to face off against the devil… only she doesn’t know it yet. Yes!!! Paydirt! Not only does this sound delightful but it took me down a total rabbit hole since it reminded me that there’s a movie that was made by Chuck Russel of Dream Warriors, The Blob, and The Mask fame. Even stranger is that Russel most recently made a Bollywood movie. Chalk that up as a project for next month.

    Way back when I was sampling mystery subscription boxes I received a Cliver Barker Tortured Souls figure. Knew very little about the line but it turns out that when bought brand new each figure came with a little booklet detailing their backstory and role in Barker’s overall lore. Sometime later; all these pamphlets were collected in hardcover form called Tortured Souls: The Legend of Primordia. Not a massive fan of Barker but this seemed interesting enough at first glance and even better is the resale value with this thing frequently fetching forty bucks online. Not bad for a rando one dollar book.

    Came across two paperbacks that are apparently linked written by Sarah Langan. Never heard of Langan before but there’s plenty of praise blurbs from Peter Straub though I’d hope she’s better than his junk. That’s right Straub, I’m calling you out. Also nabbed a dvd of The Innocents. Never seen this thing in full, always kinda feared it to be overrated dribble. Guess I’ll find out real soon.

    Overall a very streamlined and straightforward book sale this time but that’s sort of the point. You’re never sure what’s gonna pop out of those endless rows of books so you make the most of it while maintaining a clear enough head to not go overboard. Left behind some vampire anthology paperback along with some F. Paul Wilson material that was war too far into his massive backlog to likely make much sense. Still a fine small outing for the season.

    In order to drive home the whole idea of little moments making the season so much more let’s add a little unrelated tale from the following night. As much as possible I like to take the moped to work. It’s fun, relaxing, and saves a shit ton of gas. Problem is this has been one swampy ass year in this part of Michigan. While Friday’s ride in was just fine, closing up shop was a whole different story. Getting rained on is perfectly acceptable since a shower is the first thing on the agenda yet upon locking the door and turning around I was treated to a strike of lightning right across as the street, the sound of which rattled and bounced off of nearby buildings. After forcing my skeleton not to jump out of my mouth of anus I got rolling on the moped. The following one and a quarter miles were spent making waves with my feet, cackling to the sounds of some great thunder, and spitting out a bunch of rainwater at every stop sign. Admittedly this all sounds like a massive pain in the ass but it’s in that moment after pulling into the garage where you’re standing their, soaked down to your undies, that you really feel alive. Much like we embrace scary things all season it’s nice to take on a sudden challenge. More so in current times were a lot of what we used to take for granted is still a bit wobbly.

    With a good amount of time to go before the big night I advise any and all of you to find those little things of your own. Maybe it’s a sale, a convention, a town tour, or maybe build up the guts to watch a movie you were always scared of. A wise man once advised peeing into the wind. You all face that wind and let it roar.

Spooky Crafts and Mini Monsters

 

    If it wasn’t obvious already I’ll gladly take the time to point out the slight hiccup in the posting schedule. Outside of the usual antics of the season and the “cough” fun of work there’s also the advent of two new lifeforms added to the household. Yes, for the second Halloween season in a row there are new kitties round here. So far they’re not too much of a handful though there’s the obvious challenge of acclimating the beasts we already have to the new situation. Adding to that is the slight drama of whether we’re keeping both of the newbies. That matter seems to be settled as of today with the female seemingly being a permanent resident.

    Even without new pets there’s still been an ample amount of activity lately with plenty of outings and little adventures. Just the other day involved a journey down country roads in search of a mighty pumpkin sale. Before long there needs to be a costco run for the truckload of batteries required of every holiday. While that’s all fine and good it’s not really the universal spirit of Halloween. Oftentimes the best memories are made doing the little stuff like nighttime walks through the dead leaves or just turning off all the lights for a favorite old scary movie. Cheap activities around the home that give us a minute to reflect and breath in the season are key. To that end I figured tonight would be a good time to talk a little arts and crafts in a range of prices for anyone in need of a little quiet spooky project.

    By far the least expensive of these projects can be found at whatever dollar store chain you happen to live by. At damn near any of em you can find both seasonal wooden crafts and paints to spiff em up. For us we picked up some signs and masks from Dollar tree and coated em in a variety of cheapo craft paint. While the financial edge can’t be denied there’s a certain level of annoyance to be found working with this stuff as any sort of woodcraft sucks up acrylic paint like mad. This makes for weird uneven patches and colors sliding over barriers, just generally being a pain. A big tip is to spend some time highlighting edges and boarders with markers. My sister went over all of these and it made a world of difference for the final product. Patience is key here making this particular project a pain for someone like me. For others out there it could be a fun family activity that won’t crush the bank balance.

    The mid-tier price belongs to artificial pumpkins. I’ve covered these in the past as they have one of the biggest impacts on seasonal enjoyment. For twelve bucks I got a blue pumpkin at Target, used a couple patterns from my backlog of carving books, split the pumpkin in half, and now we have two more wall lanterns that can be used year after year. Obviously the expense can go up depending on your brand of craft pumpkin, whether you have appropriate tools, and whether you have patterns or want to freestyle your creation. With just a couple nights, some hand pain, and careful dedication you can get some fantastic results.

    For the third and most expensive craft option we turn to the subject that inspired this post to begin with. Working at a game store I’d find myself spending a quiet moment staring at the spinner rack of unpainted rpg miniatures. Don’t make the mistake of thinking about eleven clerics and the like, no time for that nonsense. My focus was on the big monsters. Creatures like froghemoths or dire trolls. The thought emerged that these guys would be great sprinkled among the Halloween village or mood table. Never guessed at the trap I’d stepped into as this notion shifted from a quaint idea to new obsession.

    As with anything else price can be an issue. For the most impressive miniatures you’re talking prices ranging from 8-30 bucks. That’s before paints, brushes, etc. There are a few ways to make it a more affordable pursuit however. First off when it comes to paints you largely want the nice model grade stuff like Citadel and Army Painter. Those cheap craft paints you may have lying around won’t cut it for any major features. That being said they work just fine for small details, dry-brushing, stuff like that. My most complicated work so far will still incorporate something inexpensive for added touches. On brushes you’ve got even more leeway. I’ve seen people buy single brushes that cost more than the whole set I got online. The only really special one you need is a puffy makeup brush for dry-brushing, and those can be nabbed at a dollar store. There’s definite time investment here since you can learn all about different techniques, tools, and paints. If you get hooked every model can serve as another chance to grew your skillets. One night it’s metallic paint on a mechanized monster, the next it’s contrast paints on a shambling mound. While it can be handy to search to the net for guides, videos on this subject can be downright insufferable though with so many folks yammering on while refusing to edit their content down to a reasonable length. Just consider part of the investment as time spent finding one guide you can put up with. No matter your level of dedication these critters make a fine way to add some personal flair to any Halloween display.

    With that we’re somewhat back on track. I hope tonight’s post gave you all some ideas on ways to spend an evening indulging in the season while still feeling constructive. There’s still so much to cover this month and I hope you’re all out there having fun with what feels like a return to almost proper Halloween. If there was ever a time to indulge this is it. So turn on some unsolved mysteries, paint a vampire, and maybe play a spooky game. With any luck I’ll be back this weekend with the mood displays.

September Spree 2021:

 

    If you’ve spent any amount of time around this blog you’ll no doubt have noticed a trend towards traditions. Be it the usage of Helloween to usher in October or the Thanksgiving cinematic turkey, I simply can’t help myself from adopting different annual practices. One of the oddest ones to worm its way into my life in recent years is the September spree, an annual outing of extreme commercial avarice. The general rule has been that there is no set date for this practice. I just get up one day in September, decide to go shopping, and bring back a larger than average amount of stuff. Only this year I actually had to set a date and naturally worried if planning for the spree would upset the balance of nature. Turns out those fears were unfounded Despite a few hurdles, or possibly because of them, the deeper meaning of this odd tradition made itself known.

    Starting off the adventure we headed to Home Depot which had reportedly gone all-out on some kickass decorations this year though the one I visited apparently didn’t get the memo. It seemed like this wasn’t just them selling out as they obviously hadn’t cleared out much space for anything and were carrying a pittance of what the company had on offer. First stop ended up as a total bust but not enough to discourage the spirit of materialism.

    Thankfully this same plaza was home to Ollie’s Bargain Outlet. If you’ve never made a visit to any of their stores just combine a bit of hazy childhood memories with nightmares, sadness, and a nifty element of surprise. Like the stores are sorta beat down and depressing but you can find such awesome shit at dirt cheap prices it feels like going to a weirdo toy store. I walked outta there with multiple board games and a marvel omnibus for just over 40 bucks.

    Next up was Target where things were messy to say the least. On the one hand it was easy to find nice little items like candy and coffee but the Halloween section was something of a desert. Found a couple of goodies like this years craft pumpkin, yet another tradition, and a nicely made groundbreaking skeleton, but a lot of heavy hitters and essentials were absolutely awol. This is something of a theme this season thanks to a two-pronged event. On one end there’s a whole lotta people who want to get back into Halloween big time after trimming back in 2020 and are buying up everything in sight. At the same time some of these stores, like my local dollar tree, based their orders off of last years sales which is an astoundingly bad way to do business. Combine trimmed orders with increased demand and the result are barren aisles.

    The nearest Spirit store had some alright stuff just not the one thing I would buy without any concern for price. Menards basically hadn’t added anything new since August, Lowe’s was down to broken display models for some of their items, though there were some nice battery op torices. Michael's appeared to have been besieged by the tazmanian devil though they at least promised to be restocked down the line. Yet even with these lackluster showings I still managed to find a decent selection of items

    Ending our journey were two grocery stops where a plethora of seasonal items were nabbed up. While the primary reason for visiting Kroger was the new Thrashed Apple Mtn Dew it oddly served as the location for buying new string lights. Local hotspot, Horrocks served as the spot to stock up on pumpkin ale along with Halloween Gummi Worms and Pumpkin Spice Malt Balls. On the ale front Sam Adams Jack-O is probably the front-runner so far this year. That could easily change once if Southern Tier finally shows up.

    As you can tell we managed to bring home a lot of goodies, even if they weren’t the ones I planed on getting, and in the process spent far less than I imagined. That’s where the beauty of this event started to shine through. We often get so bogged down and complacent by having shopping constantly at our fingertips that we forget the real hunt of just going hog-wiled. The point of the spree isn’t to spend a ton, though that is a possibility. The point is to get out there and shop like it’s the 20^th century. Hit up so many stores your feet ache. Search high and low to see what’s out there. Give those items you’ve often passed over a shot at the limelight. The September spree isn’t so much about buying a shitload so much as acting like you’re going too, and rewarding the stores that make living large an actual possibility.

    Obviously your mileage for something like the September spree could be far less than mine. No doubt many of you did such crazy things as having kids or getting married which ties up some funds. Do yourself a favor though and take some of your fun cash and just go on a big ole shopping tour with it. You’ll likely still have some at the end of the day along with something you never expected. That’s the sort of surprise that makes life a bit more fun.

    For those interested I’ll try to recreate the full list of goodies: Deadpool Minibus 2, Campaign Manager 2008, Keyforge Age of Acension Starter, teal craft pumpkin, groundbreaking skeleton, pumpkin love coffee, candies, cloth folding coffin, more candy, beetle decoration, Pumpkin Spice Maltballs, upwards of 16 bottles of pumpkin ale, gorgonzola cheese, string lights, pumpkin torches, Mtn Dew, Cookies, Dove chocolate, and a reminder to pace myself on all that sugar. Consider this along with past September posts as an example f what can happen when you just let yourself shop freely.

    That’s enough commercialism for tonight. Next time I’ll bring you guys something a bit more wholesome and down to Earth. Right now I’m stuck indoors with the pounding of rain as a constant companion. Guess it’s time to dig out more decorations and start planning this years mood fixture. Gonna leave tables behind this year so keep an eye out for that. Hope you’re all adventuring and finding new ways to inspire that spooky spirit.

Halloween Snack Report 2021: Part 1

 

    For years I have set the official start of fall right around this point in September. This is thanks to the last major town festival which serves as a final outlet for local yaboos to get their last traces of summer crazy outta their system and return to proper living. Last year this important passage was missing since covid prevented any such social events but this September marked a… triumphant? Well some kind of return and now it’s over and true blue, honest to god fall is finally here!

    Welcome then to the best part of each and every year otherwise known as the last third of it. No doubt the new job has made it tougher to keep up with regular posting but the months that comprise fall and early winter are just too damn wonderful to miss out on. As mentioned in a previous post that likely means more frequent but smaller updates from now through new years. There’s some good stuff on deck too with several posts already in utero. In that spirit let’s do our first of likely several snack reports. As llck would have it we’ve already encountered several of the heavy hitters for the Halloween season such as Shrieker Skittles and Apple Cider Donut Oreo Cookies but today we’re gonna look at the major shining stars of spook season 2021.

    For the third Halloween in a row Mtn Dew has blessed us with ytt another mystery flavor soda to sooth our frightful thirsts. Right off the bat there’s a shift towards a darker blue motif for the packaging that conveys a different mood without losing that classic haunted house flair. Sure I give the dew art department lots of props as us but this one is without a doubt one of their absolute masterpieces. From the calming teal to dark blue with spots of yellow all wrapped around the usual grim reaper figure and his bat & spider cohorts, everything looks like a classic beistle diecut with just enough of that obnoxious bro vibe to keep it distinct.

    Of course this wouldn’t be a proper Voodew edition without the mystery flavor. There’s a split opinion on the intended flavor with some family members believing this is Runts candy in soda form. Meanwhile I’ve seen some folks online stake their claim on Starburst candy. To an extent I can see why someone would think either of those but for my part I believe this is actually cotton candy. It’s scent base flavor, even the softly fading aftertaste all scream cotton goodness to me.

    Is Voodew III any good though? Absolutely. Hard to saw after so long between each entry but I think this may be my favorite Voodew so far and I’d love it to come back as a regular flavor (along with Pitch Black and a dozen others). It’s smooth, properly refreshing with little to no gack aspect. Rating wise this is at least a 4.5 and totally deserving of a place in everyone’s Halloween shrine, aka fridge.

    Those nuts over at Dew didn’t settle on merely one specialty flavor for the season. There’s actually 3 once you count the weird blue one at Applebees, but for the moment I’m talking about the Kroger exclusive Thrashed Apple. Talk about a pairing way too long in the making. Dew has been infused with nearly every major fruit by this point yet somehow it took all this time to finally get an apple variety. Frankly I blame white people for the delay. Ya notice Mexico’s got plenty of apple soda. Social theories aside this was a majorly exciting product which was only more impressive by being pushed out alongside the new Voodew. So how’s it stack up?

    Starting with the looks there’s a whole character motif going on here, something I believe is company wide as the new Voltage package also has a new character. Here’s we’ve got some rock and roller apples and a whole lotta green. Can’t help but think the whole thing would have looked better with a few traces of fall colors but what’s here is still nice. In a direct comparison to Voodew however this just looks like the goofy middle child whose going through a phase.

    When it comes to flavor this is pure candy water. Stopping just shy of being outright melted jolly rancher there’s still that distinctive hard candy tinge to the taste. Can’t deny it’s refreshing and unique though. Being so sweet helps to set it apart from other apple sodas and there’s no other Dew quite like it. This is the sort of thing where I wouldn’t mind it coming back into our lives every now and then but it hasn’t quite earned a top spot. Let’s say a 3.5 rating. Still a huge win to have two awesome sugary drinks this season.

    Undoubtedly the biggest snack launch this fall has got to be Monster Mash cereal. It’d be polite to say the Monster Cereals brand has been slacking the past few years by doing just the bare minimum to stay in the spotlight. Probably the last truly notable exploit was the card game in 2018. For 2021 General Mills got off the couch, combed the crumbs from their beard, and actually did something worthwhile by creating a new cereal based on the bones of all the old ones.

    Packaging is good, not great, but good. Gonna end up sounding mean about this one, which is a shame since I honestly do like the whole monsters coming together as a band motif. It’s just that it all feels a little small too focused. Clean retro design has it’s place for sure but this novelty record looking cover art for Monster Mash doesn’t live up to the epic promise of all five of our heroes joining forces. At least let us see the venue these guys are jamming at. Don’t leave them stranded in some endless black void like an anime character who can’t sort out their feels.

    I’ve not taken the time to catalog which pieces of Munster Mash hail from which of the individual monster cereals but I can confirm there’s a bit of everybody in here, most importantly my precious Yummy Mummy. The combined taste is both a little bit of everything yet all of nothing all at once. At first I was a little disappointed by the non-committal nature of this grab bag of flavors. A couple days later however found me suffering from an incredible hunger with no real craving for anything in particular. In that mindset Monster Mash suddenly took on a new life. That’s when I realized it’s true use.

    We all have those blah moments even during our favorite season. Maybe work took too much out of us or we woke up to a rush of chores. Those days can leave us wanting to do something seasonal but lacking for inspiration. That’s when Monster Mash swoops in for the rescue by providing us a little bit of everything when we have no idea what we actually want. In essence this is the Halloween mood stabilizer all of us could use in a pinch. Based on its own merits as a cereal it maybe merits a 3 out of five but as a lifesaver for spooky season it’s invaluable. Even better is that it’s one of those rare cereal that’s actually good when eaten dry. Just reach on in and see which monster flavors you pull back.

    Gotta say this is one of the better years for snacks in recent memory. It’s great to see so many companies pumping out the hits to help set the world back on track. These three are standing on top at the moment but there’s still so many treats to talk about, just wait till yall see the results of the September spree. Gonna do my damnedest to not fall behind since this season’s shaping up so nicely. Mostly I want to support all your festive spirits in the hope that you’ll return the favor. We’ve been given the opportunity to get back to celebrating the season the right way so let’s not waste it.

Ultraman Taro Series Review

 

    We’re fast approaching the moment when all of us fully agree that summer is properly over. Of course we’ve made inroads toward that already what with school getting back in swing yet each of us still has our own special marker for when our minds fully shift into the realm of pumpkin spice and tissue ghosts. After being canceled last year my defacto switchover, the final town festival, is right around the bend. As usual I like to have something of a segway piece, something with its feet planted in the daffy action heavy attitude of summer yet with a touch of spooky and foreboding. Wouldn’t ya know that things lined up just right for an Ultraman review.

    Ultraman Taro took a side step from preceding shows by opting for a lighter, more family friendly, tone. The themes were things like fairy tales, music, motherhood, that sorta thing. It’s still tokusatsu so there’s plenty of sad stories to go around just with an extra helping of rainbows and cartoonish antics to offset those dark moments. Honestly it’s a breath of fresh air after watching multiple shows adhering to largely the same formula. Just consider how instead of doing a seasonal horror section the show opts for a sequence of episodes based on nursery rhymes. The downside is that the show can feel too simplistic and meaningless but the upside is the extra dose of weirdness that can result from a more childish approach to the subject matter.

    Our hero this time around is an energetic lad called Kotaro Higashi. Guy grew up an orphan only to become something of an odd job journeyman. When we first met him he’s working as a sailor which is what eventually ends up getting him a living space as his captain invites him to saty with the fam. Throughout the series Kotaro displays a good deal more personality than his predecessors. He’s a bit more lively, immature, and fun-loving. Early on he has some dream of being a boxer though that fades out with little fanfare. Plus his mommy issues are only sorta half-resolved. I get the feeling that the actor portraying Kotaro isn’t quite as good as some earlier Ultra dudes but having a more defined personality really helps to set him and the show itself apart from the pack.

    The supporting cast is sort of a strange case this time around. For the most part the usual assortment of personalities and roles are filled yet Taro has a higher amount of cast-changes and character disappearances. The monster fighting team for this series, ZAT, has at least two character swaps along with a commanding officer who will vanish for vast stretches, think he slipped away for upwards of 16-17 episodes at one point only to be around for 1 or 2 before fading into the background once again. One team member is introduced in like the final three episodes, it’s so odd. In what I believe is a first for the series a character is actually recast around the episode 20 mark. That level of turnaround tends to make shows feel a bit slapdash though it doesn’t become a huge problem thanks to the lighthearted, anything goes, tone.

    All behind the scenes drama aside how is this crop of heroes? Let’s start on the home front. As far as kid sidekicks are concerned, Kenichi is one of the better ones. He actually seems like he has a good head on his shoulders and tries to be useful. His older sister, and love interest for Kotaro, Saori is sadly forgettable. Oddly enough both of them fade into the background during the back end of the series.

    As for the ZAT crew the character shifting makes it hard for many of them to endure themselves to the audience. The ones that manage to stand out are lead by Aragaki. Though he’s just a lieutenant he ends up serving as commander for much of the series yet his laid back nature makes sets him apart as a fun boss. The primary lady of the team is Moriyama who will stand out to male viewers due to being cute as a button and having some kicking legs. Finally there’s Kitajima who at first fills the role of goofy guy and works his way up to sensitive best bud for Kotaro. To be honest I lost track of many of the other characters.

    Technically there’s one more wing of supporting cast thanks to an increased amount of Ultra cameos. That’s right; every past hero from Zoffy to Ace comes round at least once or twice along with the addition of Mother of Ultra. The audience finally gets to visit the land of light and there’s some other surprise guest spots I won’t dare spoil.

    Taro is without a doubt a step up from Ace. Despite whatever flaws the silly tone might bring with it the show knows what it wants to be and holds true to that course as much as it can. There are still shifts ins style throughout the show thanks to the changing cast and an occasional return to what feels like the Ultra Q anthology approach with some episodes having almost nothing to do with Kotaro and ZAT. Even with those detours the show never losses sight of what it is, nor does it try to copy exactly what came before. Even the ending is far different than usual for an Ultra show of this era, leaving off on a more humanistic note. I’d definitely rank this show lower than the major classics like Ultraseven, probably lower even than Return of Ultraman, but given how much better it is than Ace, and how much consistent it is than Q I’d still recommend it to most toku fans. For newbies there are so many other good options to take on first though this one has a few extra nutty episodes worth checking out on the side.

    This time around I was downright negligent and failed to keep a running tally of highlight episodes, opting to just see how it all shook out in the end. You’ll forgive me then if this list comes out a little scattershot. In viewing order here’s four adventures that stuck with me.

Episode 11: The Vampire Flower is a Girl’s Spirit

    Easily the first episode to really stand out thanks to a combination of horror and the series theme of orphans. Not only Tokyo under attack from blood-sucking plants but a little girl may be the one to blame for it all. There’s some solid emotional stuff here along with a properly spooky ending.

Episode 20: Surprise! A Monster Fell From the Sky

    Another one that touches on parenthood, mothers in particular this time concerning a baby monster that feel to Earth and it’s mothers efforts to retrieve it. Contrasted against that is the drama of a woman nearly mad with grief over the loss of her child.

Episode 42: The Phantom Mother is a Monster Master

    One of my favorite things about the Ultra franchise is what a story goes sad crazy. I don’t mean being extra depressing, though I love that too, but when a story is nuts and driven by a sense of sadness. We have an almost perfect example of such a story right here with a man recreating his dead wife as a robot who then manipulates a monster into getting revenge on cars. Equal parts daffy and dark make for one excellent half-hour of television.

Episode 44: Oh! Taro’s Going to be Eaten

    It’s beginning to feel like every series of this franchise has a set goal for one extra crazy episode that has to top everything that came before it. Ace had jumped into the lead with a Christmas story focused on ocular trauma but Taro slaps that aside with this bonkers tale of ogres and beans. Everything here is just plan crazy from the sounds, editing, emotional whiplash, and bizarre final battle involving a vicious clubbing. Can’t even tell you the workout the rewind button got with this treat of weirdness.

    And with that we can mark the end of CosmicSparky’s summer. Got a busy few days ahead but then I’m rearing to get the next season kicked into high gear, and I think the weather’s in agreement. Looks like it could be a big Halloween with some stores and brands really pumping out a lot of cool stuff and those lovely vaccinations making it just a bit easier to get out and about. You all stay safe out there and I’ll be back next week to kick off the season in style.

Snack Report August 2021

 

    Life of late still feels very rushed. In the weeks since our last post I’ve put together more furniture, completed more home improvements, seen a dog join and then leave the household, oh and I’m an assistant manager now. One could say I’m in need of a vacation though lord knows I hate those so fingers crossed things start to settle down around here. Still; change seems to be in the air damn near everywhere, including the snack aisle where summer fare is giving way to fall flavors and new discoveries. I actually came across new Halloween candy at the tail end of July. Before I’m overloaded with pumpkin spice and maple it’s probably best we do a new snack report.

    Seeing as this post is woefully behind schedule and I’ve been overloaded with new snacks, a lot of these reviews are going to be rapid fire affairs. I’m talking stream of consciousness stuff here just to see if it’s possible to cover everything. The addition of several fall and spooky items means this also counts as our first step into the most sacred season of the whole year. Without further pomp let’s get this mother rolling.

Cheez-It Snap’d BBQ, Parmesan Ranch, Smoked Bacon Cheddar

    The Snap’d line from Cheez-It was already a big winner with just their basic flavors but never one to rest the company decided to pump out some new goods, presumably for a limited time. The Parmesan Ranch variety was alright, decent enough as a limited item but not totally deserving of a permanent spot in the line. Bacon Cheddar was a step up by offering the flavoring of TGI Fridays Potato Skins without the mouth-shredding texture. Without a doubt the big winner was BBQ with just the right balance of smoke, sweet, and crunchy. I’d advise picking up all three if possible but if you’re bound by a tight wallet at least nab some BBQ.

Hostess Sundae Cupcakes

    For some odd reason the new batches of Hostess goodies are getting harder to find in this area. At the very least I was able to find these Sundae Cupcakes once, just once mind you. Overall they’re not all that different from traditional cupcakes with that fatty/chemical Hostess allure. Still decent enough for a lunch item.

Little Debbie Jelly Creme Pies

    Out of freaking nowhere I came across a Little Debbie variety I’d never seen nor heard of. The concept involves a sort of cross-breading of the companies cherry cordials, crème pies, and a spot of strawberry jelly. The result is so damn tasty. Like this is easily one of Debbie’s finest accomplishments in recent years and yet it’s completely under the radar. So far I’ve only seen these at Wal-Mart so you may have to venture there to find em. Of course if you’re anything like me a regular wally-world snack trip is penciled in somewhere on the calendar.

Shrieker Skittles

    Expanding on the concept leftover from zombie skittles these new shriekers have random sour candies riddled throughout each bag. What makes this sort of fun is how the sour level somewhat depends on whatever the original flavor was meant to be. In my personal experience the sour green apple pieces seem to take the title for top pucker power.

    These are a major improvement over zombie skittles in nearly every way. The package design is clean yet festive, sour candy is a much easier sell than rotten corpse flavor, and the base flavors are good to boot. My personal level of repeat purchases is gonna come down to how crazy this season gets but so far these make for a damn fine start to spooky shenanigans. About the only issue is that the random sour spikes can give you a craving for consistently sour candy. I’d say at least a four out of five.

Cookies & Scream M&M’s

    On the more comforting end of Halloween candy are cookies and scream. Gotta give some props to the design team on this packaging. It manages to walk the line between clean modern aesthetic and classic Halloween with good use of colors. The taste isn’t all that nutty or unique but the execution is solid and satisfying. It’s actually pretty easy to curb your sweet-tooth with a quick handful. Another excellent early entry in this years Halloween offerings. Four outta five, easy.

Turkey Hill BBQ Cracklin Strips

    Alright so these aren’t new items per-say but they’re new to me and my continuing quest to find the best cracklin. The bbq flavor adds a fun twist to the base cracklin but in this case it’s a little too sweet and falls short of being quality pork snacks.

Bavarian Meats

    Another odd surprise these bavarian meats may be the best mass market meat sticks I’ve ever come across. Salty, meaty, and earthy in just the right mix with an excellent texture that begins with a crisp snap of the casing. Problem is I haven’t found them anywhere closer than a gas station 30 miles away. Still; if any of you jerky lovers see em in the wild there’s a great treat.

Bombay Sapphire Raspberry Blackberry Gin

    Recently I’ve started to scour the novelties of the booze aisle like peanut butter whiskey (stay away from it) and this new offshoot of Bombay Sapphire. They’ve taken the classic gin and infused it with berries. Sound’s like a guaranteed winner o what’s the final result? Well it’s sorta like good robitussim. Not really bad per-say, just not living up to its potential. The real trick is having the right drink to mix it with as it pairs especially well with tea. Very much a novelty item though that will only please a handful of people.

Little Debbie Unicorn Cakes

    Lord knows what dark ritual initiated the incessant wave of unicorn and mermaid themed items that have clogged up shelves over the past few years but the fact remains that I can’t resist a shiny new snack cake. Sadly the actual item is fairly generic overall with little outside of their presentation to separate them from other snack cakes. They taste good enough but you’re not missing anything by giving em a pass.

Japanese Kit-Kats: Orange and Crushed Almond & Cranberry

    When it comes to Kit-Kats and Doritos nobody outdoes Japan. The land of Kaiju never ceases to come up with new varieties of these American snack staples while the parent companies leave us in the dust. The occasional trip to an Asian grocer or world market can help close the gap however which is how I got my mitts on two different Kit-Kats from afar.

    Orange Kit-Kat reminds me of what those Terry’s Chocolate Oranges might be like if they didn’t suck. Not only is the flavor balanced much better but the additional element of crunchy wafer helps it all go down smooth. The big find however is the Crushed Almond & Cranberry Kit-Kat which manage to prove that candy can in fact taste classy. It’s not too fruity, or nutty, or chocolaty, just this glorious blend of sweet and comforting.

Puchao Gummy Candy.

    I’ve crossed paths with Puchao countless times yet always managed to skip over them thanks to timing, budget, what have you. Not making that mistake any longer. Not only is are the fruity flavors quite satisfying but the texture, that’s what sells it for a fan of chewy stuff. They work so well thanks to the two separate candy elements, one being the outer gummy with spongy beads inside. They’re a lot of fun and their individually wrapped presentation makes em perfect for work.

Pocky Tasty

    Tasty isn’t exactly the most detailed flavor description so you’re likely wondering the same thing as me, what are these? Basically think of em as deluxe pocky. They use ingredients like charred milk and fermented butter to offer a richer version of traditional pocky. The biscuit stick is a little thicker as well. These touches may not sound like anything all that special but it adds up to a very different experience than traditional Pocky. Problem is these don’t quite scratch that casual snack itch the same way regular Pocky does. In a way it’s almost too refined for it’s own good.

Zapps Evil Eye Potato Chips

    Been a big fan of Zapp’s chips for a few years now, still hold the opinion that Gator Tators are the ultimate sandwich topping. These Evil Eye chips came out quite some time ago with it wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I finally found some. They whole idea is that they’re a hot, spicy, Cajun treat but the proved to be a bit divisive in the family. I personally found em underwhelming, couldn’t even describe much of the taste to you. My nephew on the other hand openly declares these as his favorite potato chip. So these are either totally forgettable or a mana straight from heaven.

Bakerly French Pancakes

    Here’s an odd one. Bags of pre-made, room temp, pancakes you can bust out whenever you want. No special flavors, fairly simple ingredients list. It’s on tap pancake and that’s just fucking tits. Sure I’ve had better overall pancakes, and bigger ones no doubt, but the sheer convenience if this item is unrivaled. You don’t even need to microwave em if you’d feel like it. Just grab one outta the bag.

Fruity Cereal Kit-Kat

    Not to be completely outdone by Japan, the U.S. branch of Kit-Kat unleashes their third or fourth flavor of the year with the new fruity cereal variety. Honestly these are pretty solid, though I’m not sure if they’re as good as the Key Lime ones that are still readilly available. Gotta call them out on a big booboo though. The package shows a ring shaped cereal like Fruit Loops but these are way more Fruity Pebbles with that pronounced coriander flavor. If you’re a pebbles fiend definitely give these a go.

Lays Cheetos and Funyuns Potato Chips

    Lays went deep into corporate synergy territory this Summer with a trio of chips flavored like other snacks. The Cool Ranch Doritos variety continues to elude me which is a shame as one of these is absolutely phenomenal. Let’s start with the less successful version then, Funyuns.

    Full disclosure; I hate funyuons, always have. Dusting a chip with that flavor was always gonna be an uphill battle. By themselves these are pretty much pointless as they don’t do enough of any one thing to stand out nor do they manage to really work as a regular chip with that sweet and pissy onion taste. However they’re fairly decent on a sandwich and thus not entirely without merit. That being said my usual ratings would leave this somewhere around a two out of five.

    Cheetos Potato Chips on the other hand, oh my god these chips. Lays had somewhere taken the experience of licking the Cheetos power off ones fingers and translated that perfectly onto a chip. It’s lunacy, possibly outright sorcery, but goddamn is it ever tasty. That’s a five outta five for those bad boys.

Dolce De Louche Toast Crunch

    Nearly forgot about this one but don’t take that as a comment on its quality. The troubled history of caramel and dolce cereals is well documented with most efforts missing the mark. This one though is some good shit. There’s enough of the original toast crunch taste to even out the dolce elements in order to make a tasty and satisfying cereal. I’d actually like to see these stick around as they’re one of the better toast crunch spin-offs.

Salted Caramel Brownie Oreo

    Talk about one that nearly got away. I passed these up the first time I saw em because I was already buried in sugary treats only to see them vanish from shelves. Weeks later one of the local stores had the good sense to restock at least a little. The wait was absolutely worth it too as, much like the Dolce De Louche Toast Crunch, show a marked improvement in how companies are handling caramel items. I know there’s a big group of salted caramel haters out there but the wizards at Oreo found a way to make everyone happy by mixing in brownies. The end result is something with that salty, burnt sugar taste but with an excess of chocolate to keep everything in line. The only weird part is that dipping the cookies in anything activates the salt even more but they’re still damn good.

Apple Cider Donut Oreo

    Here’s one of two items I picked mere hours ago. We’re talking first impressions territory here. The new fall Oreo is too big a topic to sit on though and it looks like they’ve got a real winner this year. Only had one cookie so far sans milk or coffee and the experience was rather surprising. Instead of tasting like a cider flavored donut the whole thing come across more like what happens when you dipp a donut into a proper class of cider. There’s even more of a refreshing moisture component at work here. Can’t wait to see how they fair with liquids but so far so good.

MTN Dew Spark

    Spark actually came out summer of 2020, a lousy time for any product launch, as a Speedway exclusive. Somebody was smart enough to give it a second round for those of us who stayed away from people last year. The whole idea is raspberry lemonade dew which sorta comes across as ruby red squirt mixed with dew. Only had about a third of a bottle so far but as now it stands as a mid-tier Dew.

    At last I think I’m caught up on snacks. You may have noticed a few items in the pictures I didn’t even talk about since there hasn’t been time to try everything just yet. It’s time to start making… time I guess. Updates have been sporadic to say the least but we’re right on the cusp of spooky season and now way am I letting that slip by. Most likely I’m gonna have to switch to smaller but more frequent posts to pull that off though I don want to talk about another Ultra series before we officially bring out the pumpkins and bats, says the guy whose already been buying decorations for a month and a half. Gotta get back to work on other thing but you guys sound off. Lemme know what’s you’re looking forward to in the next few months and any topics you’d like me to touch on.