Candyman Series Review

 

    

    While it’s no secret that I’m a big time horror aficionado, I’ve left some mystery surrounding the overly complicated storage method for the massive collection of spooky flicks. Since I’m pressed for space there is a three tier system plus sub-organization. The basics are based on quality. The best stuff gets house alphabetically on the ikea bookcase, good but lesser flicks are stashed inside cubes in the closest, and the weakest of the lot go in cloth bins in the highest point of the closet. Every horror movie that comes through here is subject to analysis of where it deserves to live. This debate gets even trickier when it comes to full series as was recently the case with Candyman.

    I’d seen the original Candyman several times in the past and while I didn’t mind it, something always felt off. Watched the second film years later and found it pretty lackluster. The recent revival via a forth entry combined with a blu-ray release of the much hated third installment marked the perfect time to dive back in and really test out the legacy of this franchise. For only being four movies there’s some wild shifts in quality to contend with. The original plan was to get these watched so they could be part of black history month, even though the majority of them revolve around blonde white ladies. My PC says it’s officially March 1^st but for you west coasters there’s still some black history to revel in, so let’s do this.

    The original Candyman has a huge reputation as many call it a true great of the horror genre. Might as well get this outta the way but it’s not that amazing. I mean it’s a solid film with a few choice scenes and a setting that really sets it apart. What hold OG Candyman back from being an undeniable classic isn’t anything all that big so much as plentiful tiny missteps and poor choices. Sloppy editing, ugly sets, underdeveloped characters, and one heck of a messy ending. Even some of its key features are double edged such as the score by Phillip Glass which is both iconic and cheap-sounding. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves though.

    For this first outing the focus is on Helen, a graduate student doing a thesis on urban myths. Her key topic is on the candyman myth of Chicago’s Cabrini Green projects. Thinking herself educated she sets out to prove how a neighborhood scared by crime and insecurity, note that she has very little understanding of social injustice, attributes social ills to a bogeyman in order to cope with reality. The story reaches peak quality at the midpoint with the flashback to the bathroom killing followed by the big revel of Candyman and the twists he provides to the story. Past that it becomes a series of scenes where Helen acts crazy and wonders why people think she’s crazy until the big face-off.

    OG Candyman is a might bit messy. Lots of folks talk up how it focuses on issues of race but the way it handles those topics is both one-sided and sloppy. Other horror flicks of the era like People Under The Stars handled racial inequality through the lens of characters living through those experiences. When Helen goes to Cabrini Green she might as well be sight-seeing, taking in other peoples misery for her own potential gain. Her understanding of the difficulties that neighborhood faces is incredibly superficial and the movie never totally calls her out on it, making for a difficult to root for protagonist.

    That being said, Tony Todd is an absolute boss, coming across not unlike an African American Vincent Price. His attitude, delivery, and presence go a long way in making the film memorable. Likewise there are some outstanding scenes like when Helen wakes up after first encountering Candyman. Plus the Chicago projects are a unique horror movie setting even to this day. Like I said before; it’s a good movie, but a bit short of true greatness.

    Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh attempts to maintain the brainier approach of its predecessor but can’t help itself from being plain old dumb. For this second attempt the action moves down to New Orleans where a woman named Annie deals with her brother being accused of murder, a crime that stretches back further in her family past. Before long she’s mixed up with the Candyman and the search for a magic mirror… seriously,

    Lots of people talk smack about jumps scares without really understanding the gap between good and poor examples. A great jump scare not only provides that quick boost of adrenaline but actually has some baring on the events you’re watching unfold. Furthermore it should amp up the threat level. Farewell to the Flesh is full of the worst kind of jump scares where nothing of note, or sometimes nothing at all, happens but there’s a loud noise edited in after the fact to make it seem scary. More often than not a character stumbles across a smelly hobo or stubs their toe on something while the music ramps way up. If you made a drinking game out of it you’d likely be spared the lame ending due to unconsciousness.

    There’s a certain comfort to that overdone mid-90s estetic along with some decent atmosphere from the New Orleans Mardi-Gras setting but none of that is enough to make up for Farewell to the Flesh’s lack of thrills or ideas. Our boring heroine stumbles from one scene to the next being scared by nothing until Candyman pops up behind someone to slice em capped off by a race to break a magic mirror. And let’s talk about the big C guy’s plan here. Turns out he’s got a line of white descendants and he wants to kill em all to make his legend bigger somehow… that’s it. The racial angle is even more superficial this time with the focus on scared white girl overpowering disenfranchised cultures haunted by a boogeyman. Save for a couple decent looks at Candyman’s past this is an almost perfect example of rent it and forget it mid-90s fair.

    Candyman 3: Day of the Dead ushered the series into the dank bowels of straight to video releases where it could potentially fester alongside the likes of Amityville and Hellraiser. For decades I’ve heard how terrible this one, reports that seemed legit given the series ended full stop. Pretty much everything I’d heard was correct. This thing’s dog shit all the way through. While this marks it as pretty poor viewing, personally I may have had more fun with this than with part 2. The tone and style is a weird mix of the previous films with a return to exploring race culture within a big city, this time hispanic community in L.A. Candyman himself feels closer to his first incarnation though his plan is a shaky combination of what came before, On that front this continues the family subplot from Farewell to the Flesh which makes for a really weird feature. Technically this story should be happening about nowish, maybe 2020 itself. Only a version of 2020 where folks where adult sized clothing and all phones are hardwired. That means these events are actually happening after the newest film.

    Donna D’Errico of Baywatch/Baywatch Nights fame stars as Caroline, the daughter of Annie from part 2. She’s part of the art scene in L.A. who gets roped into an art show featuring the works of Daniel Robitaille, aka Candyman. Before long the big guy’s out to hell her and everyone she knows cause why not? There’s very little to praise here with The greatest highlight being the comically evil cops who actually seem like psychic premonition of public police relations in the 2020s. This is just a trashy straight to video slasher with little in the way of ambition. Tony Todd’s still doing his best and there’s a tiny speck of a new idea with some goths worshiping Candyman but it all goes nowhere. Strange enough this one is actually improved by the fourth movie as those events could explain why it took so long for him to come after Caroline as well as proposing an interesting fate for the one cop character.

    By this point the series didn’t have a very favorable batting average. One decent yet messy flick followed by two dull & idiotic sequels isn’t the best way to stand out in the horror crowd. For my own personal viewing experience this meant a lot was riding on the new Candyman in cementing the overall franchise quality. Plus there was the curiosity/worry of what I was in for. The past 6 years or so have brought a bevy of what the internet calls elevated horror movies and for each one that works there’s a dozen absolute shit shows that are gonna age about as well as yogurt in an Alabama Summer.

    Right off the bat there’s a massive improvement in cinematography, editing, music, all the fine details that make a movie pop. Really can’t say enough about the score which channels the spirit of the old Phillip Glass stuff without sounding so cheap. There’s some obvious effort being made to lift the series out of the lame duck slasher territory of previous sequels.

    Setting production quality aside though we have something new and novel for the series, a protagonist who isn’t a white woman. For the first time ever the series looks at racial issues through the eyes of African Americans, namely an artist who has a secret connection to Cabrini Green. He develops an obsession for Candyman, just not the one we’re familiar with. In fact the film changes a whole lot about the nature of Candyman in a way that might annoy some old-school fans but really opens the series up should anyone wish to continue it.

    This new flick seems to bite off more than it can chew though. Some of the new ideas are really interesting but they’re left feeling underdeveloped. The proper lack of a follow-up appearance from Helen is especially notable given how this story touches on the ending of her tale. The tiny appearance of Tony Todd, while awesome and very appreciated, is still kinda sad after all this time without him. Plus it seems a little confusing as anything other than fan service and I’d imagine newbies kinda scratching their head at it. And while the racial aspects are definitely improved on there’s still a superficial element thanks to having the characters on the outside looking in.

    Issues aside this is easily the highlight of the series. It’s mean, well-made, entertaining, bloody, with just a touch of something more to give it some weight. I found myself shift from giving zero shits about a new Candyman to being all about this thing. In the modern era of long-form horror sequels this is definitely a highlight.

    While I debated where to store the series within my collection I decided to do something uncharacteristic and actually split them up. Despite the first film’s issues I’m likely enough to revisit it that it can stay on the bookcase with part four to keep it company. The second and third are totally in the bins.

    Alright; I’ve been plugging away at this long enough for tonight. Next update we’re gonna return to a topic I haven’t touched on in years in preparation for a long-planed series of articles to come. Either that or a snack report cause good lord have I been forgetting to keep you guys up to date on some goodies. Whatever the sequence of events I’m still doing my damnedest to get back in the flow around here, so look forward to those.

Cosmicsparky Returns to Talk About Underworld

 

    Another round of big holidays has come and gone and yet another year is in proper swing. In the interim I’ve been a total slouch at blogging. Since last touching base there’s been the usual array of work, holiday clean-up, January projects, oh, and the entire household may have had covid at some point. At the very least we found out well after the fact that we’d been exposed. If it infected any of us it went unnoticed. Don’t take this as downplaying the risks. We’ve all had our shots and thankfully the family luck tends to keep things like that at bay. Outside the house we now know some folks who were taken out by covid and I even had to take on extra work responsibilities for a while as several folks took ill. It may be a new years but, seriously folks, take your damn shots, I can nly handle so many extra shifts.

    Given the amount of time that’s passed it’s only right to do some post holiday wrap-up. Can’t speak for everyone else but around here December felt kinda off. It rarely felt like Christmas so much as extended Thanksgiving. That’s not to say it was bad as there were still plenty of pleasant moments and nifty gifts to go around I just think a number of people weren’t in the spirit and that collective charge that seeps out into the world failed to reach full strength It was the sort of holiday you hard to force a little by taking the right steps in food or entertainment in order to trigger that jolly center of the brain. Oddly enough I felt more festive throughout January. Perhaps the spring holidays will need to be beefed up to balance the scales.

    While the feeling of Christmas wasn’t totally there it didn’t stop this household from doing their damnedest. The advantages of proper employment allowed me to give a better array of gifts. Not to brag but the haul wasn’t half-bad either with most of my hobbies covered. Nearly everything came in threes. Three horror flicks, three tv series, three video games, you get the idea. If I wasn’t already primed for months of activities this certainly made up for any lacking areas.

    Originally the plan was to segway this post into the fittingly post-holiday first season episode of Night court featuring Michael J Fox as a despondent teenager. Problem is I revisited the show about two days before Christmas and have since forgotten all the internal commentary. Still there’s one thing, or rather five that I planed to write about and still maintain enough snark to torment you with; The Underworld franchise.

    Little personal history. Despite being a fiend for all things horror I’ve largely avoided the Underworld flicks. Sure the first two were blockbuster rentals way back when but after not finding either all that thrilling I subsequently ignored the sequels. That is until a fancy new 4k box set came out last fall and I caved to shiny packaging. The whole multi-genre thing combined with plenty of monsters and apt amounts of snow and blue filter made these a perfect project for the Halloween through New Years window anyway. In the process of picking up the series after all these years something of an appreciation started to grow while getting dashed against the rocks a few times as well.

    Let’s go all the way back to 2003, pretty much the center of that time when genre-mixing action flicks were quite the rage. Whether it was Blade, The Matrix, Resident Evil, Riddick, Equilibrium, AVP, Van Helsing, or Sky Captain there was a gap to fill after jingoistic muscleman flicks had been deemed out of style and untimely. If ever there was a time to launch a film series about a skinny British girl in a body-condom who punches monsters, this was it. And what teenage boy wouldn’t be down for hot chicks, guns, and monsters? Apparently this one.

    Before going much further I’d best give the general rundown of how the series functions. Vampires and werewolves, oh sorry, Lycans are real and have been at war under our very noses for centuries. Vamps are ruled over by three elders who take turns being in charge while wolves are far less organized. During the first outing we learn of biological experiments from the lycans based on the two species shared origin from a man whose had a strange reaction to a plague which then split off into the monster bloodlines. A modern day human descendant of that bloodline named Michael is pulled into the conflict where he meets hard-ass vampire deathdealer, Selene. Forbidden love ensues, hybrid monsters are made, and ancient conspiracies unearthed.

    At the time of it’s release I found Underworld’s storytelling to be messy, the world generic and ugly, and the action to be mostly boring. Some of these flaws have actually improved with age. The action, while still sluggish, is kinda refreshing after the waves of choppy editied action that occurred post Bourne movies and the over-choreographed stuff permeating every streaming service today. The blue-filtered eurotrash look now carries a comfy nostalgia. Even the story comes across more sturdy when compared to later cinematic abortions like the Transformers movies. There’s a level of gore, camerawork, and film-craft that didn’t feel like enough at the time but is damn respectable in retrospect.

    Still; there’s plenty of issues with the biggest, one that is wildly tossed at more recent movies, being how it feels less like a full story and more like an ad for other stories that could be. There’s so much in the way of characters and plot points that are only half-realized either on purpose or out of sheer laziness. So many names and past events are dropped in the viewers lap as if they’re a big deal only the audience has no frame of reference to work with. Oh it’s so shocking that this guy I know nothing about has been fake dead all this time, oh and now he’s really dead. Some of this shit outright disappears. Like it always seemed that the blonde vampire, Erika has something more up her sleeve but you’ll never see her again. Characters are wasted and we’re promised that nothing will ever be the same even though we had the most bare-bones explanation of how this world worked in the first place.

    Underworld Evolution came out three years later and this one was closer to how I remembered it. Right out the gate the backstory is made even more convoluted by trimming down the origin of both species as the two sons of Corvinus, one who was a vamp, the other werewolf (but not lycan as we’ll learn later on). The vampire Viktor is one of the elders who has now woken up with some lycan blood in his system, making him a hybrid apparently, and sets out to kill a shitload of regular vampires and free his wolfie bro from captivity because of purity or some such nonesense. Meanwhile we make repeat visits to a batch of new seemingly human characters who aren’t explained until roughly the 50-minute mark.

    If evolution sounds like something of a mess that’s because it is. Editing and action have gone down in quality, character development is nonexistent, geography and proper chronology are often ignored. Character development is at a standstill while more plot points and macgguerns are tossed at the audience. It’s not the worst film in the series though it certainly comes close. Once again things end with the promise that nothing will ever be the same which still means nothing since we don’t even totally know what part of the world we’re in. Seriously it’s just generic Europe at this point.

    For the third outing the series in 2009 the series takes the prequel route with Rise of the Lycans. Multiple dead characters from the first film are brought back and placed front and center in a medieval setting that makes the series feel the closet it’s ever been to Hammer Horror territory. We learn that OG werewolves were never able to shift between their man and beast forms until Lucian, the first Lycan is born. Seeing an opportunity the vampires use Lucian to breed a slave race resuting in a situation best described as Spartacus with monsters.

    This one has a bizarre reputation that fluctuates depending on who you ask between best or worst in the series. Honestly neither is the case. Lycans is plenty entertaining with the whole gladiator meets werewolves vibe and tons of Bill Nighey scenery chewing. The issue here is that there's little to no new information for viewers to ponder. We already knew this story and the added details only make things more messy. When exactly did Lucian go into hiding as supposedly dead is a prime example since he’s fresh off victory at the end of this outing. Little of importance is added to the mythology and as a result we’re treated to a sorta fun movie that manages to jug in place.

    In 2012 audiences were given Underworld Awakening which nowadays would likely be called a soft-reboot. We catch up with Selene only times have drastically changed. Humanity finally got hip to the whole secret history of monsters and set about wiping both species off the planet. During this cleansing both Selene and Michael are captured only for here to wake up years later naked in a cryotube. With the change in circumstances comes a full change to the supporting cast with new allies and enemies abound, the most of important of which is Selene’s daughter Eve.

    Despite the usual array of failings (not limited to a giant CG werewolf) this is probably my personal highlight for the series. For what feels like the first time ever Selene actually has some development as she faces sudden onset motherhood in a more dangerous world where her kind of been driven underground and her lover is M.I.A. Action is vastly improved with far less posturing, there’s a new human character who exists as something other than a love interest, Lycans get more crafty, and we even get treated to the wonderful Charles Dance filling the Bill Nighy void. There’s development on the front of Selene’s super blood that she obtained in Evolution, a decent cliffhanger, and even a funny action-heroine one-liner. It’s not grand cinema but at least it feels like the series wants to be something more by this point. Then we get Blood Wars.

    For whatever reason the fifth entry in any series is usually a dour note. At worst you end up with something like Phantasm Raveger but even a solid part 5 can be overshadowed by the titles surrounding it, think Friday the 13^th Part V for example. Underworld couldn’t escape this trend and the result is Blood Wars which... fuck is this thing awful. There’s just so much wrong here beginning with a limp attempt to ignore the previous entry. Michael has yet to be found, though his fate is revealed later on and is so damn stupid. Eve is shoved off to the side for her own safety. As for humans I guess they just forgot that monsters roam the earth. Characters mention how they’ve been brought low in recent years but everyone’s back to living in big castles or militant railyards and there isn’t a single human character to deal with. Selene’s still got magic blood and knows the new vamps from Awakening but for whatever reason she’s still on the run for the events of the first two films as if anyone would care after humanity cut through the monsters like shit after a church potlock.

    The current crop of Lycans is getting a leg up over the vampires and Selene is brought in to train a new crop of deathdealers. That is of course until yet another conspiracy rears its ugly head forcing her and (checks notes) David to flee northward to hook up with peaceful snowy vamps who meddle in the spirit world. More secret histories are revealed, another super wolf appears, and once again the ending promises that nothing will ever be the same (head slap).

    Blood Wars is just lazy on every front. Action sequences are dull, the story is empty and forgetful, new characters are completely wasted, and the answers to lingering mysteries are head-shakingly bad. Adding insult is how Selene has totally lost her edge. Despite being a killer badass to begin with plus the upgrade she got in part two she’s now weak as a kitten. Girl even gets captured and strapped to a table so someone can rescue her. Mind you this isn’t in the exploitative sense to titillate the audience so much as a lazy way of trying to showcase how dangerous the new villains are. As it stands the series has gone out on a majorly underwhelming note.

    After finally taking in the whole platter I must admit I’ve softened toward Underworld. The 1^st, 3^rd, and 4^th installments are sloppy but entertaining enough while the 2^nd is a kind of a comfy dumpster fire. Blood Wars should be cast out to sea but what are ya gonna do? It’s strange though how many facets of the franchise remain unfulfilled, the biggest being Michael. For being this super hybrid who’s supposed to change everything the guy is basically a supernatural version of John Connor. Each movie tells us he’s a big deal while refusing to showcase how. Currently his daughter is stuck with that same thankless role unless the series totally reboots and forgets everything that transpired over these five films. If Hollywood ever needs it I actually have an idea on how to continue/expand the current story that I’m a bit proud of as the main twist is pretty insensitive.

    I’ve certainly prattled on long enough for today. Been fairly good at making time for all my various pursuits of late yet writing keeps falling behind. No more I say. As it stands there are articles on Ulraman, Candyman, new snacks, and a return to a long-dormant feature all in the works. Look for those all throughout February and beyond.

Halloween Book Sale 2021

 

    One of my favorite aspects of the holidays is how they add just that touch of something extra to otherwise mundane activities. Walks and rides are more soothing when there’s decorations to awe at while shopping becomes an act of discovery with store aisles carrying seasonal surprises. It’s important to harness that energy in order to make each day feel satisfactory. That’s what leads to personal rituals like the Halloween book sale. For most folks it’s just a library book sale but when you make it a purposeful scavenger hunt for horror items it becomes a proper event. Tough this is almost universally ranked among my least read posts each year I still invite you all to come along for the fun.

    If you’re wondering why there’s no post about mood tables, or the planned bookcase, it’s because I haven’t finished em. Part of the issue is just how much has changed around the house. There’s been just enough shifting and moving to create new spaces while eliminating others that I’m sometimes left scratching my head as to what to do. Plus decorating a massive, and slightly incomplete, bookcase is a good deal different than any table. The upside is that I get to work on it little by little, keeping the mood of Halloween alive through creativity rather than simple admiration. All that said I think inspiration may have finally struck tonight.

    Finding decent horror goodies at this sale is always a challenge due to their overall rarity combined with the amount of collectors and flippers out there. This year felt even tougher thanks to the increased floor space as the sale moved to a nearby church. A massive spread meant great eyestrain that further compounded the usual difficulties of this event. Not sure if any of you have ever noticed but there’s this weird phenomenon where a lot of romance novels, mainly the hardcover ones, look like horror titles thanks to vague titles, fancy font, and sometimes Gothic covers. Then there’s the usual array of mystery novels to toss aside. And while it may seem counterproductive, I don’t take every horror item I find. Some get left behind due to not sounding interesting enough plus it only seems fair to leave something behind for other horror hunters.

    Naturally I don’t restrict myself solely to scary stuff though it’s always wise to not go over the top when already months behind on the personal reading list. This sale however had a decent amount of R. A. Salvatore stuff on offer. Had a small share of these years ago and always enjoyed the adventurous tone and boss ass violence the man conveys through his writing. There were more in paperback format but if I was gonna take this chance to rebuild a little Salvatore library then it’s gonna be proper hardcovers. The Legacy and Passage to Dawn are the real highlights here since these copies still fetch new prices online. What stinks is these are the 1^st and 4^th of that particular series meaning there’s some hunting to be done. The Orc King and The Pirate King however are a series or two later in continuity and at least are in order with a lower price point for part 3. Even if you’ve zero interest in Forgotten Realms D&D media these are fun books when you need a spot of adventure which is usually how I feel come November.

    Our first horror item showcases precisely what makes this hunt so fun. Came across this hardcover of Bless The Child by Cathy Cash Spellman. Flipped it over only to see a brief excerpt with folks talking about a cult. Cults are cool, this could be good, then I check the inner flap where the quick explanation something along the lines of such and such is a forty-two year old grandmother. Also she’s about to face off against the devil… only she doesn’t know it yet. Yes!!! Paydirt! Not only does this sound delightful but it took me down a total rabbit hole since it reminded me that there’s a movie that was made by Chuck Russel of Dream Warriors, The Blob, and The Mask fame. Even stranger is that Russel most recently made a Bollywood movie. Chalk that up as a project for next month.

    Way back when I was sampling mystery subscription boxes I received a Cliver Barker Tortured Souls figure. Knew very little about the line but it turns out that when bought brand new each figure came with a little booklet detailing their backstory and role in Barker’s overall lore. Sometime later; all these pamphlets were collected in hardcover form called Tortured Souls: The Legend of Primordia. Not a massive fan of Barker but this seemed interesting enough at first glance and even better is the resale value with this thing frequently fetching forty bucks online. Not bad for a rando one dollar book.

    Came across two paperbacks that are apparently linked written by Sarah Langan. Never heard of Langan before but there’s plenty of praise blurbs from Peter Straub though I’d hope she’s better than his junk. That’s right Straub, I’m calling you out. Also nabbed a dvd of The Innocents. Never seen this thing in full, always kinda feared it to be overrated dribble. Guess I’ll find out real soon.

    Overall a very streamlined and straightforward book sale this time but that’s sort of the point. You’re never sure what’s gonna pop out of those endless rows of books so you make the most of it while maintaining a clear enough head to not go overboard. Left behind some vampire anthology paperback along with some F. Paul Wilson material that was war too far into his massive backlog to likely make much sense. Still a fine small outing for the season.

    In order to drive home the whole idea of little moments making the season so much more let’s add a little unrelated tale from the following night. As much as possible I like to take the moped to work. It’s fun, relaxing, and saves a shit ton of gas. Problem is this has been one swampy ass year in this part of Michigan. While Friday’s ride in was just fine, closing up shop was a whole different story. Getting rained on is perfectly acceptable since a shower is the first thing on the agenda yet upon locking the door and turning around I was treated to a strike of lightning right across as the street, the sound of which rattled and bounced off of nearby buildings. After forcing my skeleton not to jump out of my mouth of anus I got rolling on the moped. The following one and a quarter miles were spent making waves with my feet, cackling to the sounds of some great thunder, and spitting out a bunch of rainwater at every stop sign. Admittedly this all sounds like a massive pain in the ass but it’s in that moment after pulling into the garage where you’re standing their, soaked down to your undies, that you really feel alive. Much like we embrace scary things all season it’s nice to take on a sudden challenge. More so in current times were a lot of what we used to take for granted is still a bit wobbly.

    With a good amount of time to go before the big night I advise any and all of you to find those little things of your own. Maybe it’s a sale, a convention, a town tour, or maybe build up the guts to watch a movie you were always scared of. A wise man once advised peeing into the wind. You all face that wind and let it roar.

The ABCs of Horror: The Letter A.

 

Anytime you end up with a massive collection of something there’s a weird challenge in figuring out how to talk about it. Consider my horror movie collection, over 1200 titles as of this writing, and that’s to say nothing of the ones I still hope to own and the infinite sea of flicks I’ve just watched. Outside of very specific events like holidays or recent pleasant surprises it can be tough to narrow down a single topic. While sitting in the office, aka the bathroom, a totally arbitrary yet nifty concept floated into my head, let’s just talk about the collection one letter at a time. This opens the door for sharing favorite and shameful pieces of the collection along with some personal anecdotes and hidden gems. Let’s get started the letter A which denotes everything from haunted dolls to space bugs. It’s kinda odd that this letter is actually a fairly small chunk of the collection with B being roughly twice the size, and that being dwarfed by the likes of N or S. On the plus side that means there isn’t as much god-awful junk filling up the shelves and cubbies under this heading.

Best

I suppose it only makes sense to kick off with one of the most likely series to come to mind, Aliens. That’s no surprise really since the franchise is such a crucial part of horror fandom, film culture, just basic nerdom really. Everybody likes at least a couple of entries regardless of the rougher later installments like Prometheus. For my sake I believe my introduction to the series came from Fox 17 outta Grand Rapids. Back in the day that channel had some of the best programming directors in the business which makes their current line-up all the more depressing. Who the fuck needs 5 hours of morning news? Awesome movies airing at like two in the morning on a weeknight wasn’t unheard of and, along with weekend afternoon flicks, helped to build my early film loving brain. Since I’m getting way off track the point is I loved and still do love Aliens. I bought the toys, played video games, and honestly think the third entry is my personal favorite of the bunch.

So great was m fandom during the 1990s that it even became part of our holidays celebrations. Thanksgiving 1997 was an odd one to say the least. I was 12 at the time and went with my parents to visit my brother at his army post in upstate New York. It was the sort of turkey day with a buffet served by a hotel and mountainous quantities of snow. Being a holiday weekend there were some big new movies out there like cough, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. Or if you’re like my brood you sat down to digest pounds of gravy to the brown slimy antics of Alien Resurrection. In fact that may be the only movie I’ve ever watched outside of my home state. And yeah, I don’t care what you say, the movies a blast and I adore the newborn.

I’ve mentioned Amityville 2 more than a few times on this site as the meanest, scariest entry in the series. Really there’s not much to say about it except I realize I’ve yet to complete the Amityville retrospective. There’s like half an article just sitting somewhere on this PC. Consider this a reminder for me to finish and you to watch this second movie.

Arachnophobia was, for a time at least, one of my absolute favorite films of all time. Of course I was like 8 at the time and a lifetime of movie viewing has set it back quite a few spaces. Even so this killer spider flick probably held more sway over my developing brain than it should have. I already feared spiders so this just cemented that instinct even further. Likewise I took inspiration from the characters and that epic basement battle scene and turned my distaste for creepy crawlies into an all-out campaign against any arachnid foolish enough to set foot on our property.

Altered States is one of those movies where just the VHS case alone used to make me uneasy. Don’t think I even had a clue what it was about back then but I new it was supposed to be gross and it had that freaky cover. Once I finally sat down as an adult to brave the thing boy did I ever fall in love. Equal parts creepy and deep with an almost Lovecraftian outlook on the uncaring nature of existence. There’s just so much to like about it that I never want to spoil for you all. Seriously go track ti down.

Can’t forget a little international fare so let’s talk about Audition. I can never recall the name of this one movie review website in the early 2000s that did so much to bring a lot of awesome movies into my life with their recommendations. This place had me giddy for stuff like Donnie Darko and Lost Skeleton of Cadavra long before other folks even knew what they were. Audition was among those titles and just like them didn’t fail to live up to the hype. What made it better was the surprise of getting so much more than just a hyper violent thriller as this is also a great drama. It marked my first Miike movie and is one I really don’t revisit often enough.

There’s a few essential horror tales that aren’t necessarily that well known. Altered is an outstanding flip on alien abductions by having hicks abduct a spaceman, a very angry one at that. It’s been left to languagish on out-of-print DVD but I think it can still be gotten fairly cheap so go buy a copy. Alice Sweet Alice is one of those step up titles, not known to the average Sick and Jane but automatically a must watch for declared horror fans. Really excellent proto-slasher with plenty of criticism for religious dogma. Audrey Rose is just something I hold in high regard. Part of the wave of 1970s reincarnation stories that originated as a novel by Frank De Felitta before Richard Donner trimmed to work as a two-hour film. There’s some definite rough patches like repetitive dialogue and a child actor who isn’t quite up to the challenge of this role but the unique storytelling and performance from Anthony Hopkins make it all worthwhile. Oh god, how could I forget Alligator, one of the most well-written giant animal movies and one that’s criminally difficult to get these days. And even though it’s plenty well known I’d be remiss to cover the letter A and leave out Army of Darkness.

Worst

Of the bead flicks I’ve got in this section many are innocuous, easily forgettable tripe. Most of the “bad” stuff hails from ole black and white public domain fair that maintains at least a slim level of entertainment value like Attack of the Giant Leaches or The Ape. Probably the only one that really busts my balls is An American Werewolf in Paris. While not a massive fan of the original London outing I couldn’t resist the urge to buy this used Blockbuster copy of the sequel to have the full story. Nothing could have prepared me for this obnoxious half-baked rom-com sequel that’s so bad it’s hard to believe it’s actually real. Even the timeline of the film is off with the girl being way too old for when she was born.

Ya know how I mentioned the Aliens series had a few rough patches well we might as well talk about Aliens vs Predator: Requiem. While the first AVP gets a lot of flack it at least manages to be entertaining by condensing so much of the two franchises into one quick dose, almost like one of those pill meals we’re meant to have in some distant future. This second match-up is closer to a Critters sequel only not good. From lousy characters to abysmal lighting and an almost carbon copy ending of the second Resident Evil movie, weird considering Paul W. S. Anderson made the previous AVP. This thing is straight trash that somehow makes an alien/predator hybrid comes across as lame.

Wild.

If you’re somehow not tired of seeing the word alien in this artivle , guess what, I’ve got another in the form of the clumsily titled Alien Predators. Actually it’s got like half-a-dozen other titles but that’s the one you’ll find on the blu-ray. I first saw AP on THIS, a broadcast movie network that has sadly dissipated from my area. By all metrics of film production this is bad stuff but it’s the fun kind of bad stuff with weird dialogue and gross-out effects. The whole thing involves a trio of horny teenagers on an RV trip through Spain that come across village overrun with parasitic space monsters. Not only does that keep the budget trim but it lends a sort of zombie vibe to everything.

The Abominable Dr. Phibes is the first of two colorful and wild Vincent Price outings from American International Pictures. Each of them are a bit weird to get into with most of price’s dialogue being piped-in monologues along with robot band musical accompaniments though once you submit to the sarcastic cartoon aesthetic it’s quite a lot of fun. Thankfully both movies perfectly walk the line of being over-the-top while still being well-done and yet silly enough to still poke fun at.

The Alien Factor (thought I was done with aliens did ya?) marked my first ever exposure to the works of Don Dohler and man was I ever hooked. None of his films can ever be accused of being quality work thanks to all the hallmarks of piss-poor film-making. Lousy acting, tacky effects, bare-bones plots, slapdash editing, everything’s accounted for. Yet there’s this energy and sincerity that permeates Dohler’s work much like some kids backyard super 8 movie. Guy wasn’t out to change the world or spread a message. He just wanted to make some monster movies.

There are a few more oddballs floating around this section like American Gothic which was one of those videos you remember seeing at the store and wanted to see simply because of the cover. Then you grow up to find a funny thriller with some wild death scenes and all is right with the world. The Ambulance is a highlight of the back end of Larry Cohen’s career with a comic book writer played by Eric Roberts trying to reclaim his dreamgirl from an old ambulance that is snatching people off the street. Very dated with an exaggerated early-nineties style and some neat glimpses at Marvel Comics during the era with Stan Lee appearing as himself.

Alright, so there was a tour of the Letter A sans a few items. Admittedly I’m stretched for ideas at the moment with starting the new job and someone having the boneheaded idea to add another pet to the house (cause who doesn’t love more chores?). Oh and did I forget to mention I rescued my cat from the roof last night? Indulging in this trip down memory lane does have some piratical value in reminding me where everything is and why I collect all these things. Hopefully you enjoyed it and we can make latter letter recaps even better. Right now I either need a nap, some caffeine, or both. 

The Beast Within Book and Film Comparison

 

    Most everyone has favorite seasonal films. Usually it’s the holiday variety, say Christmas or Halloween. Other times it’s something more obscure and flexible like a season or birthday. Years ago I wrote about a Springtime obsession of my own, a little monster movie called The Beast Within. Originally introduced to me via the wonders of Monstervision the film’s atmosphere along with themes of a boy blossoming into a twisted sort of manhood always come to mind during the brightening days and first thunderstorms of Spring. Like a good many horror flicks from back in the day this one was based on a novel. Problem was the book was nowhere near complete by the time a script had to be put together resulting is two divergent tales built on a pile of very similar bones.

    The novel was something outside my purview for a the longest time. I’d seen some slight debate online about how it compared to the film with many folks labeling the movie counterpart as an abomination without much in the way of meaningful comparisons. Eventually I manged to snap up a cheap paperback copy at a local book store. The first attempt at giving it a read didn’t make it very far but guess what… it’s Spring again. Taking a break between comics I finally went dove in and completed the book. If you wouldn’t mind indulging I’d like to do something of a civil service and detail the differences between source novel and a favorite flick of yesteryear. Naturally you should expect a certain level of spoilers though I’m gonna leave some mystery for newbies.

    Many people report the movie as only being an adaption of the back end of the book and this is sort of a half-truth. The basic premise of an assault leading to the birth of a boy named Michael who goes through some violent changes is intact but the angle of approach is far different. See the novel is divided into four parts with each covering a particular era of the story. Part one concerns the Scruggs and what happened to Jimmy Connors, part two details the relationship between Eli and Carolyn and her assault in the woods, part three is all about a difficult period in Michael’s Childhood, and part four is the return of that problem in his teenage years. The film builds everything around that final quarter while showing portions of the first two and only making a mention of the third. The details of those earlier acts are augmented further with different backgrounds, names, extra characters, and a new origin for the monster. Those last two items makes the biggest difference but let’s go into a bit more detail.

    Part one was easily my biggest hurdle when first tackling the book as reading about the miserable marriage of Henry and Sarah Scruggs in Pea Ridge hardly gets the blood pumping. Henry is a wretched bible thumper whose god-fearing nature goes so deep as to shun the notion of procreation with his own wife. This, along with severe isolation, makes Sarah more than eager to stray when flim-flam salesman Jimmy Connors shows on their doorstep after his car breaks down. In this take Henry find Sarah and Jimmy taking a literal roll in the hay only to lock Connors in the cellar and murder the wife. Henry is so far gone he actually believes Connors to be the devil made flesh and must keep him imprisoned and alive. Over years of inhuman treatment, Jimmy becomes more beast than man and gains an opportunity to escape captivity once Henry finally succumbs to a failing heart

    In the film version of these events the Scruggs do not exist nor does traveling salesman Jimmy. Instead Billy Connors, a local boy from Nioba Mississippi fools around with Sarah Curwin which gets a woman killed and the boy likewise locked in a cellar. It’s not just years of torture changing his mind and body that results in the monstrous form he takes on either. Billy happens to know some old native magic based on Cicada that allow for a shot at revenge at the cost of ones humanity. Right away these changes have huge ripple effects. Not only does skipping past this part add an air of mystery but, unlike Henry Scruggs, Billy has several opponents who live on which makes for a supernatural family feud. Where’s Richard Dawson when we need him?

    Part two is largely about the relationship between Michael's parents, Eli and Carolyn. Both simple small town folk, her a spunky waitress at first and him a hulking lumber worker with little education. We get to their first meeting and see their day to day existence up to the point when it is thrown out of whack as the creature murders their dog and rapes Carolyn. As the pair were trying to conceive a child anyway she chooses to believe the resulting baby is Eli’s. Adding a weird layer to this take is that the creature soon dies of a snakebite leaving none the wiser as to his existence.

    In the film these two are newlyweds driving through the country. Carolyn is attacked while Eli is searching for help with their car. They both suspect the kid might be from that night but love their son all the same. The characterizations are vastly different here with Eli in particular being more of an everyman urban type which makes him bristle at dealing with all the hillbilly nonsense in town later on. Their living situation also solves a lingering mystery from the book as that version of Michael wonders if getting away from the woods might solve his condition. In the film his location merely changes the symptoms. While not explicitly shown we learn that this version of the beast was shot not long after assaulting Carolyn.

    Part three is arguably the most interesting portion of the novel and is difficult to compare to the film since it’s pretty much entirely skipped over. It concerns Michael’s upbringing and childhood from his affinity with animals to his troubles at school. Eventually the kid begins to have nightmares that manifest as violent behavior where he runs out to the wilderness at night to hunt and kill. For the movie there’s just a few hints of a time in his childhood where he suffered from “terrible nightmares” along with a brief mentioning of his affinity for nature.

    Finally part four is where the real meat and potatoes of the story come to a head with Michael’s problems returning to an even worse extent as a teenager. Well sorta. The film makes it that he’s deathly ill and his parents return to this small town in order to learn whatever they can about the kids potential father. In the book this resurgence kicks off at the end of part three when Michael enters puberty and receives a saliva handy-j from a classmate. Yes you read that right.

    Contrasting this final section is total night and day as each version has made such different recipes out of roughly the same ingredients. In prose it’s about a family who has lived and worked in this same town while Michael has two ladies of interest, the lovely Susanne and easy patty. In movie land the family are total strangers to this location with Michael finding romance with a girl named Amanda Curwin. The supporting cast feels much larger even though the actual headcount is likely the same. That’s likely due to the number of book characters who factor into the equation for maybe a chapter or even just a few pages whereas film characters feel like they get a bigger piece of the screentime pie. Events move even further from the source novel as Michael’s final transformation and fate and are vastly different, though I won’t spoil those for you except to say the movie is much more slimy.

    Getting to my take on the which is better debate I obviously have some bias for the movie. I’ve found it to be a great source of gross comfort viewing for decades whereas I finished the novel just this past week. That being said I’m still quite confident the movie takes home the prize thanks to a variety of solid choices. First off is the mystery aspect. The novel leaves nothing to the imagination, telling us everything in linear fashion leaving zero question as to what is happening. Not only does this leave zero room for surprises but it actually makes it so the reader is better informed than the characters so our feelings are somewhat ditched from theirs. In the film we see a horrifying incident and move on to a family with a sick teenager and a need for answers. Not only are we eager to learn about the assailant but we’re immediately drawn in by a parents need to save their which doesn’t even factor into the book until halfway.

    Another winning factor for the movie is atmosphere. It’s got that sort of odd tone some 80s horror flicks had in that it felt like an old 50s drive-in flick only with a level of sleaze and gore afforded by the era of excess. Add to that the setting of wet and foggy southern United States complete with cold nights and dead, spindly trees just makes it all come together. While the novel is likewise centered on the south there’s not much characteristic of the area save for poisonous snakes and some lingo. Much of the environment is very bland and almost too comfortable since the characters have spent their entire lives there. On the hand this helps the themes of the story since it’s about the dangers in your own home, there’s just not enough detail to make it stick. And I won’t go into a full paragraph on this but the monster element in the film is so much nastier than the mental lycanthropy stuff in the pages. The last round that might hold any weight is that of comparison to other works of this kind. The movie holds up quite well alongside gross-out stuff from the 1980s whereas the book seem really generic when contrasted with horror literature of the time.

    Each version still makes for solid entertainment and make for a fun exercise where you pick which pieces you’d include for your own optimal variation. I’ll leave you with that and the advice to at least sick out one of these versions. The movie is out-of-print stateside but there’s a nice European blu-ray out there for those with means. Otherwise it sometimes pops up on weirder streaming services. Meanwhile the book is slightly rare but not so much as to be unobtainable. You just might have to put in moderately more work than normal depending on the current crop of online auctions and such. And for those of you who’ve taken in one or both of these formats do share your thoughts on what works about each of them.

[REC] Series Review

 

    Recently I’ve taken up the challenge of writing at least a little bit everyday. The results have varied wildly in quality to be honest. There’s pieces of upcoming articles, reference pages for my book, and some shit that may very well never see the light of day. Problem is those January blahs, and frequent naps, are making it tough to zero in on any one topic. That changes tonight however as I’m very much in scary mood. Some recent purchases along with the discovery of an unaccounted for multi-feature set have me just one title away from a collection of twelve-hundred horror movies. Plus I just finished a series I’d been meaning to watch for years. So let’s celebrate, indulge a bit you might say. None of that double-feature stuff or taking one at a time, nah, let’s just discuss the [REC] series in full.

    The [REC] franchise is primarily a found-footage affair made in Spain by directors Paco Plaza (Veronica) and Jaume Balaguero (Darkness) who direct the first two movies together before tackling further entries individually. You may be familiar with the American remake and its own sequel under the title Quarantine, though I don’t see many people mention them anymore as they’re too new for nostalgia and too old for click-bait. From 2007 through 2014 both branches of the franchise amount to six films though I’m mostly gonna focus on the four Spanish films for now save for some comparison to the first film.

    The set-up for the first movie is clean and straight-forward. A reporter named Angela has a program where she follows the night shift of various professions, showcasing what happens when most of the populace is cozy in their beds. Her current episode focuses on firefighters, a pair of whom she follows into an apartment building to deal with an apparently sick old lady. Turns out the old dame is more of a rage zombie and before anyone has a chance to figure things out the building is put-on lock-down while everyone struggles to survive against a growing population of zombie-like monsters.

    By and large [REC] lives up to the hype set for it over the years. It’s well-made, fast-paced, entertainment from the early days of the found-footage craze that is now mostly dead. There are a few drawbacks of course, characterization is minimal at best, there are times when it’s hard to believe someone would keep filming (a found-footage mainstay). Still; I don’t feel the need to elaborate much on this one since it’s just really solid viewing.

    For my sake there was fun in seeing what differences there where between this and the remake which I haven’t watched in quite a few years. Overall there isn’t much different between the two films, even Angela’s wardrobe is the same. The key differences are the ending, which is mostly the same but presents a different source for the infection, and the characterization of Angela. Going off memory for the comparison she feels more crass, opportunistic, and self-serving in the original whereas her American counterpart seems a bit more naive and caring. The general consensus is that the original is better but just going off memory I’m not 100% sure that’s the case. My memory of the remake is that it’s also a well-made scare fest and little bit longer so now I’m eager to hit up the U.S. flicks for a full comparison.

    Two years after the original, and one after the remake, Paco and Balaguero returned for a direct sequel. And when I say direct do I ever mean it. [Rec] 2 picks up on the same night as the first movie and follows a strike-team into the building for a special mission. The team themselves don’t know what they’re getting into but they are actually escorting a priest who hopes to find the means of creating an anti-virus and better understanding the nature of evil. The creators double-down on the demonic possession hints from the first movie and swing straight into exorcist mode here. The rage zombies can talk in different voices, are scared of crosses and holy water, can be tortured by the rites of exorcism. Essentially the series stepped away from the 28 Days Later aesthetic and closer to Lambarto Bava’s Demons series.

    Rather than stay centered on the strike-team the movie changes perspective around the halfway point to some teenagers who follow a couple of guys into the building through the sewers. While it’s a nice way to change up the pace of the film most of these characters have little to no baring on the story. In fact, some of them are just outright forgotten about, though I’ve heard there’s a comic that covers their absence. Thing’s seem primed to get back on track for the third act with the return of elements from the first movie but then everything gets bogged down by some unnecessary novelty involving stuff that is only visible in the dark.

    That last paragraph probably makes it seem like I’m coming down on [REC] 2 but it’s actually a really good follow-up. The pacing and intensity of the first film are maintained, the story is expanded, and the ending sets up more entries yet could still serve as a proper final. Plus the headcams make for some interesting new camera angles and make the constant filming feel more realistic. That being said there are still enough loose threads like the teenagers or the final set-piece that hold the movie back from achieving greatness. Plus if you don’t care for Catholicism and exorcism stuff then those elements might not settle well. Still a very good sequel despite a few misgivings.

    A few more years pass, along with a straight to DVD American sequel, before the directors decide to split the next two entries up with Paco Plaza handling part three all by himself. I’d heard all sorts of bad about [REC] 3: Genesis, most of it aimed at a supposed shift towards screwball Evil Dead style comedy. Was there any truth to these criticism? Sort of. It’s a bad movie for sure, just not the one I was promised.

    The third entry actually starts off halfway decent. We’re still viewing everything from handheld cameras recording a wedding ceremony. The tone is intentionally lighter and corny but that tracks given the setting. Given a few clues we find that this is actually happening on the same day as the first two flicks, making the genesis moniker feel a bit misleading, but we end up with a separate outbreak at the wedding reception. A change in venue isn’t all that’s in order as the camera is broken about twenty-minutes in resulting in a shift to a traditional movie. Things start to spiral from there.

    While the infected from previous movies were fast, vicious, and still maintained enough knowledge to occasionally use weapons they’ve suddenly shifted to be more like classic zombies. Some of them run around like madmen while others slowly lurch about accomplishing very little. The demonic aspect is trimmed back slightly but they’re still paralyzed by Catholic antics. Plus there’s a new bit where reflections show the true host of the demon which not only fails to trick with the previous movies but doesn’t line-up properly near the end either. Throw in a larger environment and a tendency for the infected to just disappear for a while and the threat level is vastly lowered. There’s not even much gore for that matter.

    So what else does the movie have to offer? Not much in all honesty. Characters are horribly underdeveloped with the movie routinely stopping to remind us just how much the newlyweds love each-other which gets into this annoying fatalistic love-story bullshit. Our new lead, Clara is not all that compelling. The humor is pretty bland. The musical score bounces between generic and downright awful. Oh and those Evil Dead moments I’d heard so much about? There’s only a couple of em and they feel limp and out of place among all the dramatic slowmo shots and declarations of love.

    [REC] 3 is absolutely a failure bit it isn’t some sudden left turn into comedy that’s to blame. Frankly it’s the complete inability to decide to do much of anything. It’s a largely generic zombie flick with empty characters, bland filmmaking, and remarkably little gore or scares. The whole thing doesn’t even reach the level of being so bad that it’s kinda fun, just a limp lame flick that I actually hate a little more every time I look back on it.

    Balaguero takes the reins for [REC] 4: Apocalypse which has a better reputation than part 3, albeit a muted one. Much as I like to avoid spoilers the poster itself shows that Angela returns for this final outing marking the first step to correct the third films failings by returning to the main story. Knowing all this going in along with the fact that this one also leaves the found-footage angle behind I was really curious about what this final film had to offer.

    Picking up right after the ending of the second film we find a small demolition team sent in to destroy the apartment building and rescue any survivors. They find find Angela at the last minute and things flash-forward to a cargo ship at sea. Some scientists want to keep the demo guys, Angela, and an old lady who survived the wedding away from the mainland population while they research and seek to find a cure for the illness. For her sake, Angela seems to have forgotten most of what happened at the apartment building though the audience has some reason not to fully trust her. We spend about a half-hour meeting the new cast and getting accustomed to the setting before shit naturally hits the fan.

    Watching [REC] 4 I was amazed at how much better it was than part 3. Characters are still pretty flat but they’re still more fleshed out than those of 3, or 2 for that matter. The setting and cinematography bring back the claustrophobia and intensity of the earlier installments. There’s more gore, some interesting additions to the line-up of infected, and even a who can we trust aspect like The Thing. It takes the series in a new direction without losing sight of what made it work in the first place.

    So why the muted reception then? Well I think that comes down to a sudden shift in franchise lore. After two films building up the demonic possession angle, Balaguero throws all that shit out the window. Save for the last shot of the second film and the old lady the middle entries are almost entirely ignored in favor of a more scientific approach to these events. So if you’re a fan of the demon aspect and the flavor it added to the series I’m sure it’d be damn frustrating to watch. For my sake I was so happy to have a decent movie again that I didn’t really care. The ending is a bit blah, the fairly standard left open for another sequel approach but it feels mostly finished at least.

    I’m giving the series as a whole a fairly strong recommendation. The first two are an excellent back-to-back viewing experience and the fourth ain’t so bad either. I’d say avoid the third but it ends up making part four feel all the better so that’s on you. I’m definitely gonna take some time in the next month to revisit the remake and finally check out the U.S. sequel so we’ll circle back to this topic in a few weeks. Right now all this monster talk has made me powerful hungry.