Happy Halloween Soda Party

 

    Time and tine again it amazes me how much each season can have it’s own mood and tone separate from those of the past. This can radically differ from what we expect as well. Marching into the Halloween season this year I thought it was going to be a massive return to form after the more muted 2020 model. Instead it’s been a mixed bag of developments on that direction alongside lingering difficulties like piss poor supply chains at stores. Admittedly it took me longer than usual to find the best way to take in this Halloween, which is as something of a zen observer. This wasn’t a season to be sucked into or even forced but to be gently prodded and then viewed in comfort.

    Little known tidbit about yours truly but during my media-obsessed youth I took more than few life lessons and viewpoints from favorite flicks like the dirty slacker work-ethic of Tremors. One of my biggest inspirations for how to view life was Ricky from The Burbs, not Corey Feldman himself mind you cause that guy… yeeesh. I always loved the sight of a character who reveled in his simple surroundings, taking entertainment from his immediate surroundings. Rickey is essentially the spirit animal of this season as best illustrated tonight when one of my favorite moments was just sitting in the garage alongside my cat, sipping pumpkin ale, and watching rainfall on my decorations. As an activity it could technically be done any night of the year but when else would the beer be brewed with pumpkins and the yard be filled with giant spiders and gravestones?

    In the spirit of just enjoying the simple things, one of most recent little adventures was a small soda tasting event. The Hitcher was on tv, I turned on some of the wall lanterns and busted out a line-up of various limited flavors for all to try. Like a wine-tasting only somehow less damaging on teeth.

    The first flavor on tap isn’t actually Halloween inspired but it’s new and required assigning a mission to a relative on a road trip. Mtn Dew recently brought out a Food Lion exclusive called Uproar. Being from Michigan I’m not sure I’ve ever even seen a Food Lion so when my sister announced her plans to head to the Carolina's to drop off Ikea furniture I swooped in and bade her bring back as much as possible. Is Uproar worth owing someone thirty bucks? Almost.

    Let’s be fair; Dew is putting out so many flavors in recent years that some of them are actually beginning to blend together in my mind. Scent wise this is one of the all-time best with the Kiwi berry combo smelling just plain awesome. Taste is good but a little hard to pin down as I swear there’s bits of past Dews floating around in there. Neither flavor truly takes over leaving the distinction of simply being really good candy water. But I do mean really good candy water definitely deserving of hoarding for those with access.

    Outside of the stash of Uproar and another 12-pack of Voodew 3 my sister also brought back a bottle of Sheets Pumpkin Pie Soda. Don’t let first impressions matter too much cause this stuff smells like total ass but the flavor ain’t half bad. Think of the crossroads between cream soda and ginger ale and you’ll have a decent idea of what’s going on. It’s both smooth and bitey, just a shame it’s scented like corpse.

    Next up were two bottles I’d picked up nearly a month ago starting with Hanks Caramel Apple Cream Soda. Oh yeah, this was some good shit right here. The scent almost perfectly captures every aspect with proper waves of apple and candy. Taste is mostly on point as well though I wish there was just a little more of that apple pucker to it. If I’d thought of it adding some Dew Thrashed Apple woulda been a fine idea.

    Last up was Hanks Pumpkin Spice Cream soda which I’d feared had the potential to be the worst of the bunch. Turns out it was, just not for the reasons I expected. I’d imagined something with a nasty candle taste but the actual product just tastes like… soda. No particular soda either. Almost like a jumble of leftover flavors from a pop machine. Sheets did a much better job tackling this concept but at least Hanks has that lovely caramel apple.

    Another of those odd moments that only seem to happen this time of year was last week , maybe a Wednesday at 2 AM. I decided it was time to make a pumpkin totem. No doubt you’ve seen a few in your own towns. Somebody takes the classic plastic pumpkin pail, drills a hole in the bottom, and stacks em around a pole wrapped in lights. It’s a pretty low-budget decoration with a decent impact on whatever your display happens to be. It was the feeling of welding power tools to augment candy buckets in the wee hours that really made this special.

    It might seem like I’m a bit melancholy and indeed I am shocked that the big night’s almost here. As with so many seasons there were great surprises and a few missed opportunities. Wasn’t able to keep the blog posted anywhere near as much as I’d planed but I wanted to get at least one more out there for all you fellow Halloweeny folks. Our time is here, to truly revel in a holiday dressed in whimsically grim attire. Go out and enjoy the simple pleasures of this time while you can. Listen to the Maniac Cop rap while heading to micky D’s for a pumpkin cream pie. Take one more after dark stroll through the park. Don’t force it, just nudge it and enjoy the results of this most wonderful time. Thanks to anybody who includes this small space as part of their year and may you all have the happiest of Halloweens.

Neo Ultra Q Series Review and a Happy New Year

 

    After hibernating for a good share of the post holiday season I found myself struggling to pinpoint just the right topic to usher in 2021. It doesn’t help that my theory of time states that the vibe of a year doesn’t usually take hold until somewhere around March, and recent events have shown 2020 to still be alive and well. I’ve already spent some time working on a general change of year wrap up but, quite frankly, it stinks. Then I remembered the great thing about January, total freedom. I can post whatever I want without feeling like I’m wasting those precious Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas spots. In the spirit of doing whatever we want I’ll tell you a wee bit about recent weeks and then move on to a good old Ultra series review. Sound good? Well too bad, this is my page.

    Christmas was about as good as one could hope for given the state of things. Whether it was a celebration of my wrapping up college or just an urge to send out the year in style I ended up with a solid offering of gifts comprising of nearly all my hobbies. If I wanna listen to records, color, watch horror flicks or Ultraman, or just waste time with online shopping I’m covered. Plus between gifts and a crafty order of used items I have enough video games to likely last till late summer.

    One odd challenge for the season was the apparent visitation of an electrical gremlin. From the first unpacking of totes to the current takedown roughly 8 or 9 strands of lights have gone belly up. And that’s saying nothing of the death of the inflatable Thanksgiving turkey or those plastic shaped light displays for windows. I dunno if it’s Mitch Pileggi, Jeff Fahey, or the evil electricity from that damn Joey Lawrance movie but something is out to fry our decorations. The lackluster condition of nearby stores only provided the opportunity to replace these loses with a strand of bubble lights, which I quickly made a stand for using wrapping paper tubes and cardboard. It’s just what ya do for the enjoyment of Christmas chemistry. For the first time ever in this household there’s a list of supplies for next holiday season and the likelihood of a change jar to make it all happen. Consider that the yearly festive mystery, which is as good a segway as any to move onto another Ultra series.

    By and large my experience with the Ultra franchise lies with the early series from the 60s-70s. Until recently the only bit of Ultra entertainment created this century that I’d seen were a few scant episodes of Ultraseven X. While looking for a shorter show that could be finished by years end attention turned to Neo Ultra Q, a fairly recent series and start-point for the current era of the franchise. Much like the original Q this one is more Twilight Zone than Godzilla only the weirdness factor has been cranked up even further. How does it fare against other pieces of the franchise? Now that’s a tricky one to answer.

    While not exactly a sequel to the original series, Neo Ultra Q is slavishly devoted to it. From musical cues and an almost black & white filming style right down to the general makeup of core threesome of characters this show really tried to live up to the name. It’s even based in a world where aliens, ogres, robots, and cruel scientific experiments are all common occurrences. Unfortunately this setting comes with a price as it can be difficult to gauge how this world views some of these events. One experiment for example would be completely illegal in our world but seems to run smoothly within the shows framework. That sort of thing makes morality tales a little challenging.

    Let’s talk about the primary characters, a threesome of two men and one woman like the original. They’re actually different characters yet they still serve the same general role. Emiko for example, played by the lovely Rin Takanashi of Samurai Sentai Shinkenger, is a spunky reporter. Instead of pairing up with two pilots her friends are a counselor and philosophical type named Jin and a young bartender named Shohei. Sometimes they are the main focus of the storytelling as they attempt to live and work in a very strange world while on other occasions they merely cameo in an otherwise standalone tale. Naturally this isn’t the most thoroughly developed cast of characters, a fact that is further compounded by the series only being twelve episodes long. That being the case all three are still likable and relatable enough to help keep viewers engaged.

    When it comes to the story things get a bit muddled. First off there’s hardly anything to keep these twelve episodes strong together as anything cohesive. Themes and tone are all over the place and most installments end on an ambiguous note. In classic J-horror fashion it can actually be pretty tough to pinpoint the exact goal of each story. Overall themes are obvious but many of them take far left turns only to end abruptly. For anyone who digs esoteric cinema consider this a major plus. For those who pick up Ultra shows for wacky monster fights this is a far cry from what you’re looking for.

    On one end I’d like to wholeheartedly endorse Neo Ultra Q as it is such a boldly odd and sometimes cynical piece of television. At the same time I know a good deal of people aren’t in the market for head-scratchingly vague mystery tales. It’s a bit of an enigma since many of its strengths and weaknesses come from being so unlike the rest of the franchise around it. Consider this something of a buyer-beware scenario. Seeing as this is such a small show let’s only highlight three episodes of note.

EP 4: Pandora’s Cave

    Possibly the most outright horror-driven installment of the series focuses on a man who falls into a hole and is confronted by an evil being who wishes to be unleashed upon the world. It feels a bit like a stage show with just two characters debating morality and the nature of evil. It still throws a lot at the viewer and doesn’t make it’s point totally clear but I found it really engaging and grim.

EP 9: The Tokyo Protocol

    If there’s any one story I’ve seen from the Ultra franchise that feels like 2020 it’s this one. The idea is that an anti-pollution protocol has been put in place that shuts down the power grid every time a certain amount of emissions is reached. This effects business and personal lives across the board. Then some weird alien balls show up and start devouring pollutants which allows for an economic boom that makes the 1980s seem reserved. The issue that permeates the episode is that no one cares what the creatures want so long as everyone can live as loudly as they please.

EP 2: Laundry Day

    Probably the most well-known installment of the show concerns a monster who runs an outstanding laundry service. Actually his foamy vomit can clean anything. His life and relationships to others is played out as a sort of slice-of-life dramedy with one hell of a punchline for the ending.

    With that a new year is officially launched here at CosmicSparky. Since I’m finally getting adjusted to being free from school and have a load of backlogged topics (I never finished the damn Amityville series, did I?) the goal is to get back to the good old pace of at least four posts a month. Got some ideas for new features and outings once I’m in line for the vaccine. For now let’s have as much fun as we can riding out the last lingering threads of the terrible preceding year and maybe we’ll be able to make something worthwhile outta the new one.

Patrick Swayze Christmas Barstool 2020

 

    It’s the strangest thing and I’ve never had a proper notion of where it started but Roadhouse always reminds me of Christmas. It’s not even something that can be traced to an exact memory, such as why I associate Mortal Kombat and the second Resident Evil movie with New Years. Perhaps it’s the tacky neon bar lighting. Maybe it comes down to trashy action films being part and parcel of so many family gatherings. Fact remains that when I think of the Double Deuce I get just a tiny bit more jolly. Naturally this association only contributes to the fun of the Patrick Swayze Christmas Barstool. A tradition that has returned once again to brighten our spirits.

    For any of you who are stumbling onto one of these posts for the first time I’ll give you a quick background. Inspired by MST3K’s song “Let’s Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas” the barstool is a way of expressing your holiday spirit outside of traditional forms like trees and inflatable snowmen. The rules are not all that dissimilar from Halloween mood tables popularized by Dinosaur Dracula/X-Entertainment. Simply grab a barstool, or any chair that is safe to light up, and decorate to your hearts content. It’s your space to be as wild or reserved as you want.

    While I often dream of bigger concepts for each year, one of these days this thing is getting reindeer, I often lack the materials. That was even more the case this year with fewer trips to the store and a dwindling supply of lights. And let’s not forget the addition of young kitties who are just fascinated by lights and tinsel. I did manage one important development this time around, Swayze ornaments.

    These ornaments are something I’ve been thinking of for years so it’s nice to finally have them on hand. Thing is they’ll likely need to be remade due to a few errors on our part. The sizing and double-sided printing worked out well but our attempts at laminating didn’t hold so there’s some double-sided tape holding these things together. I think next time I’ll just find some of those photo frame ornaments and match photos up accordingly. Our faulty craftsmanship aside these are still terrific additions. My primary goal was to capture many facets of Swayze. There’s dancing Swayze, Roadhouse Swayze, handsome Swayze, horse Swayze, even militant surfer Swayze. Have I written Swayze enough for ya?

    Given the presence of actual Roadhouse material it only felt right to top it all off with whatever booze was handy. At the time this meant an assortment of odd beer and seasonal cider. Gotta make special mention of that Peanut Butter Porter, delicious. If I felt the need I could add one of those giant jugs of Costco Whiskey to equation though I don’t dare risk such precious commodities. What’s the risk you ask? Well I was just about to get to that.

    Unlike past iterations this years barstool faces a pair of predators/fanboys. Our older cats were never ones for messing with decorations. They loved sleeping under the Christmas tree but by and large they knew to leave things in place. Our new lads are not only a bit more wild but the youngest has grown quite the fascination with this construct, often using it as his own fortress of solitude. Several minutes of each day are now reserved for repairing the display after he invariably makes sweet love to it. He is beginning to be less destructive towards as he now likes to cozy up and stare at the lights, like he’s receiving messages from his alien overlords. My advice to owners of rambunctious animals is that there’s a value in keeping your barstool simplified.

    That’s all I’ve got for tonight. It’s about time to hit up wally world in search of ice cream, lights, and cracklin. While I’m away why don’t you all entertain yourselves by making your own Swayze barstool. It honestly doesn’t take that much work. Some lights, maybe tinsel/garland, and scotch tape to hold things in place. Put one together, set it in front of a window, and watch the confused and judgmental looks from your neighbors.

Christmas Snack Report: Elf vs Elf on the Shelf Cereal.

 

    It seems odd that of all the holidays on the calendar only Halloween has iconic breakfast cereals with which to celebrate. This is especially odd at Christmas, a time of the year when flavorful items like gingerbread and eggnog abound. The various great lakes cereal groups took some stab a the problem with not one, but two elf themed eats. One is based on a tacky decoration that has tormented children for decades, the other off of a tacky comedy. To be fair Elf on the Shelf is a returning item but we’ll just pretend it’s something new and shiny. Being a man filled to the brim with holiday spirit I see it as my duty to place these two items in the arena to see who emerges as the supreme elven treat. If any of you are worried about potential biases based on license don’t worry. Not only did my family avoid the elf on a shelf tradition but we’re not big on the movie Elf either. And no I don’t care if I’m somehow missing out. Let me keep Christmas in my way. As soon as some company produces a Christmas Evil themed breakfast item then I’ll show some bias.

Round 1: Presentation.

    Rating the quality of presentation for Elf is a tad odd as it is both faithful to the source material yet not all that Christmasy. On the one hand I’d like to give it a pat on the back for fan-pleasing aspects like the narwhal. On the other hand the generic snowflakes and pine trees feel more inclined to winter than to the holiday itself. That same feeling carries on to the look of the cereal. Knock off Kix with tree marshmallows says hunting cabin more than the giving season. There’s no doubt it’s a decent effort and I like the tone of Elf green that permeates the box, but it just doesn’t scream festive.

    While unfortunately afflicted by a bit of that sterile design that permeates so much of modern consumerism, Elf on the Shelf manages to push out some pretty solid holiday vibes. Opting for a wintry blue color with the classic candy-cane wrapped sign alongside the elf it sorta looks like an ad for a Rankin Bass special. It’s aided immensely by the red and green star cereal pieces and flying bits of mini-marshmallows. In fact the bowl presence is what helps to set this one apart. We’re talking garland worthy foodstuffs here.

Winner: Elf on the Shelf

Round 2: Scent:

    No way around it, Elf smells as if someone found a way to seal diabetes into a box. It just reeks of maple and sugar. Not only is this overpowering but it’s a dishonest hint about the eating experience to come. Once you pour some out of the bag the open air dissipates the scent into something fit for human consumption.

    On the shelf is a little more subtle, still sweet smelling as all hell, just less so. It doesn’t really smell like sugar cookies however, leaning more towards rice crispie treats. What sets it apart from that mainstay is a more powdery sensation rather than the greasy undertone of treats. At least the smell is more of an honest indication of the eating experience to come.

Winner: Elf on the Shelf (for being hones)

Round 3: Dry

    Once upon a time I made quite the habit of eating dry cereal, as we probably all do at one point or another. These days I’m much more of a milk guy but I still give each cereal a shot when it comes to dry snacking. On that front Elf is pretty solid. Not only is the maple flavor not as overpowering as the initial scent suggested but some of it absorbs into the marshmallow trees making for a decent treat. Elf on the Shelf isn’t so special due to the powdery sugar coating that tickles the nose along with the nearly impossible to find mini-marshmallow. Beyond that the texture of Elf on the Shelf is just awful without milk to soften it up while Elf has a comfortable crunch to it. Obvious winner here.

Winner: Elf

Round 4: With Milk

    The make it or break it moment for any cereal comes with the precious addition of milk and Elf handles that addition splendidly. It absorbs at a decent enough pace to soften without turning to sludge, the marshmallows are excellent, and the maple flavor blends well with milk. It’s surprising how smooth that flavor actually is after the ridiculous smell. It’s just a well balanced cereal. Not up to the level of top tier brands but the unique flavor adds an important novelty factor.

    Elf on the Shelf has a few more issues on this front. Milk absorption is wonky with the pieces staying crunchy for a prolonged period before converting to sponges. The main flavor doesn’t match any sugar cookie I’ve ever had, nor is it all the unique. Plus the tiny marshmallows are too small and infrequent to make much of a difference. This isn’t a bad cereal, just generic and a little lifeless. That being said the sweetened milk aftermath makes foe a delightful finish.

Winner: Elf

Bonus Round: Combined

    In a moment of boredom an idea sprung forth. If neither of these are the end all be all of Christmas cereal, what would happen if they shared the same bowl? Unlike the Planeteers combining these powers didn’t add up to much. Both items combat each-other which makes it rare to get am even dose of both tastes. If you’re gonna get both items anyway this is still fun as a kind of breakfast roulette. Just don’t expect much in the way of results.

    For the final judgment I’m declaring Elf the overall winner. Elf on the Shelf has the presentational aspects nailed but falters on vital elements like taste and texture. Elf can at least stand out as a different experience from everything else in the cereal aisle. If you’re completely outta your gourd with boredom there’s nothing wrong with getting both, feel free to indulge. The quest for a king of Christmas cereal is still ongoing however. Seeing as General Mills and Kellogs have both taken a shot I’m issuing a triple-dog-dare to Post to get off their butts next Xmas.

    With that we’re back on the holiday train. I wrapped up school this past weekend, for good this time. My fancy upgraded degree should be on its way soon and I can finally push all of my writing time towards pleasurable pursuits. Ten Days till Christmas, let’s see what kinda jolly damage we can do.

Starting Up the Holidays with The Small One and Snacks.

 

December is here. At last the curtain is about to drop on this profoundly lame year. What better way to send it packing than a month of cookies, killer Santa flicks, and a hefty layer of snow. Seriously though, where’s my snow? Anywho, what better way to ring in this strange and makeshift festive season than a grab bag of seasonal food, animated specials, and springtime soda? If you’d be so kind as to sit down by the glow of the screen we’ll talk Christmas.

I really wanted to step up my Christmas celebrations as much as possible this year, keeping in mind that big adventures and events are outta the question. One thing I knew heading into this month was that I could watch something seasonal every night leading up that grand moment of presents and eggnog. Unlike my Halloween viewing this doesn’t mean movies, just something holiday flavored each night be it an old cartoon, sitcom episode, whatever. As December 1^st was winding down so came the realization that I’d no clue what to start with. I aimed for something on the shorter side which is how a few items on Disney+ caught my eye. The Small One, animated, just over twenty minutes, should do the trick. Within the opening credits I witnessed a combination of words that any child of the 80s-90s learned to fear, directed by Don Bluth.

In case you’re too young to have ever experienced a Don Bluth movie here’s the breakdown. The guy’s a genius of animation who gave an entire generation of children crippling emotional issues. Guy looks at the sort of manipulative drivel companies like Pixar churn out and calls them sissies. Be it dead families, abandonment issues, childhood sickness, animal abuse, racism, even the damn end of the world, any trauma was a ripe subject for his movies. Since his films didn’t tend to talk down to their audience those traumatizing themes really hit their target. Given just a half-hour to work with he aims a bit small here by just focusing on a farm boy who is being forced to sell his beloved donkey. Just the thing to watch in a year with multiple pet deaths. I swear to god I kept it together.

To make things even weirder the majority of this special has little to do with Christmas. It clearly takes place in a biblical setting so you spend a good deal of time waiting for Jesus or somebody like that to show up. In the meantime you witness the kids friendship with the animal, the shock of learning the family can no longer afford to keep it, and their journey into town to find a new loving owner for the creature. Of course the town is ruled by greed and cruelty so people either laugh at the pair or offer to kill the poor beast. Finally; when all seems lost a smooth operator called Joseph shows up and is all like “yo I need a fresh ride for my babygirl” (not an accurate quotation). With that the small donkey marches off to biblical fame. Admittedly I’m skipping some details but it’s one of those everyone has a purpose stories. Honestly it was alright, and I’m always glad to add some animation history to my memory banks. Just wish someone had invented a Bluth alert.

Outside of emotionally debilitating animated specials I’ve spent some time catching up with seasonal foodstuffs. On that front there’s a very special post coming later this week about the two Christmas elf themed cereals. My recent samplings stretch across a wider span of time from autumnal breakfast items to springtime soda. Take Caramel Apple Jacks for example.

Clearly meant for Halloween, Caramel Apple Jacks took some time to show up around these parts. It’s just as well since the current weather is still in that post Thanksgiving mode of cold and brown that feels so right for candy coated fruit. Sadly the cereal ain’t all that hot on any front. The packaging is generic, neglecting any seasonal elements. The smell is grossly artificial, and the flavor isn’t much better. Regular Apple Jacks have that low key flavor which is easily overtaken by the addition of caramel. While I’m a caramel fan the flavor profile here is way too fake tasting. It’s not an outright failure but there’s no reason for anyone to worry about missing out on this one.

Now here’s an odd one. Mtn Dew Frostbite originally came out way back in March during the opening salvo of lockdowns and face-masks. For some reason not a single store in my whole damn metro area had this stuff. Suddenly, just a few days before Halloween I saw someone standing in a checkout line with a case. With all the speed an overweight mid-westerner can muster I lumbered to the back of the store and fell to my knees in front of two lingering cases. Was all the waiting, searching, and shortness of breath worth it? You bet your damn bippy it was.

Described as an icy cool melon flavor, Frostbite makes me think of what White Out could be if it were good. It’s got a nice bitey chill to it with a smooth fruit flavor throughout. Add to that the great packaging with a frosty shark bursting through the ice within a windy winter scene. The brains at Dew may not have intended it but this is a prime example of wintertime soda. Better yet this is apparently a permanent addition to the line, pending anyone ever restocks it. I’m in love and I highly recommend anyone take some quiet time to sip a can while staring at Christmas lights for a boost of holiday cheer.

It only seems fair during this opening bout of festive features that I actually talk about a Christmas treat of some kind. That’s where Sugar Cookie Hershey Kisses come in. First off I gotta give a hand to the team behind all these seasonal Kisses varieties. They don’t always hit a home run but they keep on swinging for those fences and that makes life just a wee bit more interesting. That’s not to saying anything bad about this Sugar Cookie edition which I’d rank a bit higher on the Kisses ladder. They’re white chocolate with crunchy cookie bits giving them a unique texture that satisfies the need for both sweet and crunchy and the flavor, while not an exact match to their namesake, is fairly solid. As always the packaging is on point with special wrappers for the candies. The downsides are the odd smell and that, let’s be honest, not everyone’s big on white chocolate. If you hate the white stuff then these won’t do anything to change your mind but for those of us who enjoy it these are good to keep handy.

And thus begins my weird Christmas season. Gonna do my best to bring you all some fun items throughout the month. In fact, the only thing in my way is this last week of my final class. Yes; yours truly will finally have upgraded to a bachelors degree. And you’d best believe I’ll be indulging properly in the season before next year brings a fresh search for employment. For now just keep an eye out for that cereal post coming sometime this week between a paper and an exam.

Happy New Year from CosmicSparky and the Loose Threads of 2019

It's a brand new day, friends. Well technically it's always a new day but I'm trying to be poetic here. We are taking our first steps into a new decade. Maybe we'll get a new musical genre, perhaps curry will become the go-to food item, maybe folks will stop dressing like fucking morons! A guy can hope right? Before marching boldly into this new era, which admittedly my first few days have been pretty spiffy, I thought it best to take care of loose ends. Let's look back at dangling threads and unfinished topics along with a little of the best bits of last year and what I'm hopeful for in this one.

One should always pause around this time to think back on what they've been doing. Obviously the key accomplishment of late, one that continues into the new year, is my education. Currently it looks like I'll be ringing in next Christmas with a better degree and a moderate amount of debt but I think it's gonna be worth it despite all the endless papers and assignments needed to get there. It's important to note this shouldn't change my online presence all that much, it might even increase it as I'll be glued to word processors that much more often. Now seems like a good time to invest in eye drops.

Outside of that I got massive amount of excellent slacking done throughout 2019. I actually keep lists of every book read, game played, etc and you'd best believe some of the numbers for the past twelve months are staggering. The usual range for new to me movies viewed in one year is anywhere from 120-170. 2019 ended up with over 220, there's more than twenty video games from different eras, plenty of television, only reading went to the curb since homework largely took the fun out of it. I don't imagine repeating these numbers with a full 12 months of courses to go. I'll admit it sounds kinda nice to maybe have a break from being this lazy as it was starting to get a little stale. On the plus side those deep dives into pulp culture have only provided more potential topics for this year.

Not everything was quite so upbeat however. This household lost two dogs in less than two months. Both were excellent furry friends whom I still find myself missing despite some of their less desirable habits. My finances have been... strained to say the least. Had to spend a month contending with a cats ear-infection. And then there's the matter of my irritated eyeball, which from seems to stem from sinus inflammation causing extra pressure. As challenging as each of these issues were there was still enough strokes of good luck along with some quality experiences to help keep life bright and interesting. No doubt it was a tough year on several fronts but I'm primed to keep moving and make this new decade really count.

Much like reminiscence, it's usually customary to go over the annual haul of Christmas presents though not in the spirit of showing off. No it's far more preferable to share in whatever weirdness or surprises came to light during the traditional gift-giving routine. What stuck out as bizarre this time is that the family was supposed to be on a fairly tight price-restriction which everyone flat-out ignored. Add to that a very festive secret Santa along with some store credit usage during an after xmas sale, and damn did I ever get spoiled. Unsure if I've got a photo featuring the entire stash but trust me there's enough to make me feel guilty.

As for the most surprising gifts, and those that may provide some entertainment for you all down the line, well there are three tapes from secret Santa to begin with. Santa knew my love for VHS oddities and managed to send a few along, one of which is totally unmarked, Ringu style. Expect something on those in the coming month or so. My brother surprised me with a Funko Pop of The Creeper from Jeepers Creepers. Not only did I not know about this lil guy but I initially thought it must be a great custom job since I couldn't imagine the company taking on such a controversial subject (and turns out some folks threw a fit over it). Haven't had anywhere near the time to fiddle with even half of the haul which means I'm set with survival gear for the long dark of January.

As always happens during the holidays I've fallen way behind with the Super Sentai reviews with the catch-up being next on the blog charter. Beyond that I'd hoped to start coverage of past shows in the form of best episode countdowns, or individual articles for stellar episodes from otherwise lousy series, which is the only way to talk about shows like Ohranger. There's an idea forming for how the review format can improve though that won't make itself known until the next show begins. Speaking of which the next Sentai is looking pretty wild and has some interesting talent behind it. Best of all after enduring a total sausage fest with Ryusoulger the franchise is bringing back a proper two-lady approach. As this will be the first true season of the Reiwa era let's hope for something big.

Oh the star wars book club, you were a fun if infrequent feature on the site. Let's face it though from both a financial and time standpoint I simply couldn't keep up with all the SW novels floating around. Even with that failure to keep up I still intended to bring in one more more installments before calling it mostly quits. Which is where Rebel Rising comes in. I read it, I planed to review it, but nothing ever came of it. That's partially my fault for finishing it right in the midst of Halloween coverage but we can also blame the overall lacking quality of the book itself. Many folks have accused the current SW novels of playing it safe and doing very little, a complaint that is both somewhat true and a bit misleading. While not a symptom of all the new novels, inactivity is the hallmark of bad SW books which is sadly where this one belongs. What makes it difficult is that all the technical merits of a decent novel are here, the prose is solid, pacing isn't all that bad, only nothing of actual importance happens. It's simply the early years of Jyn Erso. She's brought up by Saw, ends up separated from him, finds love, loses love, you can guess most of it as you go along all the way to the end. Sure it provides a little more insight into her character. Just not enough to warrant reading a full novel.

The garage can be scary this time of year.

While books fell by the wayside I still largely enjoyed the other Star Wars content this year. The Mandalorian was good fun that was surprisingly secretive even after the season wrap. I found The Rise of Skywalker mostly successful from a thematic viewpoint even though the storytelling was more than a little sloppy. Most of all I'm just excited to see where the franchise can go from here now that the mysteries of this trilogy are largely dealt with allowing creators to go wherever they want from here on.

Conclusions and evolution were the defining factors of a lot of entertainment in 2019. Whether it was Endgame clearing a path for whatever comes in the next phases of Marvel films, countless shows closing up shop, even Supernatural is in it's final run. Hell, the year kicked off with Glass, a trilogy wrap-up nobody saw coming even a few years ago. One of these conclusions provided hours of twisted pleasure as I watched folks get pissed at Game of Thrones. Yes for as much as I like to aim towards positive fun on here, even I have a major weakness for schadenfreude. I'd disliked the series early-on which made for too much fun when family members were shouting at the television on a weekly basis. Plus I had the joy of correctly guessing who'd be on the throne by simply pointing at the person who was already sitting down, though my theory of how they'd get there didn't pan out.

It's a tough year to pick favorites since I'm still very far behind on many fronts. Let's point out a few things that have at least stayed with me. In movies there's Glass (sorry if you hate, but you;re wrong), Serenity (ditto), Avengers : Endgame, Missing Link, and I'm sure some others but I'll know more once I complete the usual catch-up during these early months. Games wise I dunno, just finally got Ni-No-Kuni Remastered and Judgment and have barely touched em. Honestly I think my biggest gaming memories from the year stem from the retro titles I played, even the lowly ones like Resident Evil: Survivor. When it comes to music it's all goodness from the past, namely the discovery of Loudness. That one dollar record has launched a love affair with Japanese hair metal.

Video Games look primed to take over much more time in 2020 started with a tidal wave of Yakuza games in both the remastered collection featuring 3-5 and the release of 7. Then there are new releases for all my favorite RPG series with Final Fantasy VII Remake, Tales of Arise, and Ys IX: Monstrum Nox. Then there's all the stuff I still want to catch-up with like Kingdom Hearts III, Fist of the North Star: Lost Paradise, Ace Combat 7, Bloodstained, you get the picture. Basically it's a race to see what gives out first, the controller or my thumbs. Movie & TV wise I'm looking forward to many of the usual suspects such as all the new Marvel offerings, Star Wars, then there are a smattering of items like the third Conjuring, that new Underwater flick hails from one of my favorite sub-genres, and I'm very interested in seeing both Halloween Kills and the assured strangeness of Chris Rock's Saw reboot. Mostly I just want to ride this year at a nice casual pace and see what new items might sneak into the pop-cultural landscape.

So I've been at this CosmicSparky gig for over six years now and honestly I wouldn't change a thing. It may not be a huge success but there's comfort in knowing there are folks out there soaking up musings about breakfast cereal, old VHS tapes, and international superheroes. There's also the pride of maintaining one more spot on the internet that exists for fun, rather than ramming negativity, true fan pieces, and editorials that fail to understand their own topics down the collective throat of humanity. Next year I really want to broaden that reach a bit and bring this sort of content to a wider audience. Heck I haven't written for another platform since a certain horror site started tinkering with my opinion pieces last spring. So once again I thank every reader, be they silent or talkative, for making this little speck of the net one of their points of interest. I'll do my best to keep you entertained for years to come.

Rambo Christmas Special: When S.A.V.A.G.E. Stole Santa.

As far as the history books are likely to remember it this Christmas seems like a bit of a late-bloomer. I've seen people in my neighborhood, folks on the internet, all over really, mention that they just aren't feeling the spirit this year. I counted myself among them until just recently. What changed you asked? Well there's finally some gifts under the tree, I started shopping as well despite my poor finances, and while I was avoiding Rise of Skywalker spoilers I dove into some weird holiday specials and found something wonderfully absurd. Throughout the years I've wondered why no one has had the good sense to turn The Night the Reindeer Died or KISS Saves Santa into real specials. While not quite as spectacular as those I may have found the next best thing with a Christmas carton staring America's favorite emotionally crippled killing machine, Rambo.

Rambo: Force of Freedom was the result of producers looking to turn a purely adult action/thriller film series into the latest cartoon and toy line for kiddies. The idea garnered some controversy and the show itself wasn't popular enough to last more than a season, though 80s cartoon seasons are pretty massive which means there are plenty of episodes. The show found PTSD addled murder monster John Rambo leading a crack team of commandos against the forces of S.A.V.A.G.E. Basically it's just G.I. Joe with emotional instability. As expected this animated format required Rambo to forgo his usual killing sprees and utilize less lethal methods of combat. I'd never really watched the show before this episode so that low violence policy had me frightened but the writers still manage to come up with badass crazy stunts for our man to do. What's better are the musical cues pulled straight from the films which makes for one of the coolest sounding cartoons ever.

The story begins on Christmas Eve at an orphanage in the mountains of Colorado where children apparently exist without adult supervision of any kind. Isn't a nun supposed to be beating them with a ruler? There's a new kid this year named, bobby or Johnny or some generic ass name. Fuck it, we're going with Ricky. Who's gonna correct us? Not his parents, that's for sure. In case you think I'm being too cruel about orphans, Ricky himself has got some downright grim views on the subject. When one of the girls tries to comfort him with the knowledge that Santa brings them gifts every year he savagely reminds her that nobody cares about orphans before storming off.

Ricky walks by Santa's village where he witnesses someone in a Santa suit loading up gifts in a sack. For any rational person this would be reason enough to return and apologize to the little girl, but not this kid. He scoffs at this lame excuse for a Santa before opting to wander off into the wilderness during a blizzard. Sorta makes ya wonder what happened to his parents. Wow... just realized this may be the first holiday special to ever allow the option of victim blaming an orphan.

Whereas most children stuck in a rocky mountain snowstorm would simply die of exposure, Ricky just so happens to know the best way to signal for help. By this point in the 80s parents groups had started to demand educational content in shows so this series went with a theme of survival tips meaning Ricky knows how to signal S.O.S. With a flashlight. Who else should spot this call for aid but Rambo himself riding the outside of a helicopter in a sleeveless hoodie. The pilot is another Force of Freedom member voiced by the late great James Avery of Shredder and Uncle Phil fame who unfortunately departs the episode after dropping off Rambo and the kid back at the village.

You might be wondering why Rambo of all people just happened to be hanging out on a helicopter in the rocky mountains. Cause he's coming to see his old buddy Santa of course. Err. I mean Kris Kaufman. This Santa lookalike used to be a weapons engineer for some faraway country until Rambo freed him. Now they spend every Christmas, at least the ones where John isn't in military prison or Burma, together delivering handmade toys to orphans. Their reunion is quickly interrupted by the forces of S.A.V.A.G.E. Who wish to kidnap Kris and force him to build rockets for their cause. This is where one of the shows weaknesses makes itself clear. Any toy-shilling cartoon worth it's weight has instantly recognizable characters like Skeletor or Slimer. The two primary goons that show up for this seasonal snatch and grab are powerfully generic. One's just a big vaguely Russian guy whereas his partner has both a robot hook hand and an eye-patch, pick a novelty buddy.

The initial kidnapping is a bust so the villains make off with Ricky as their hostage prompting a pile-up of action sequences. Upon witnessing the boy... oh my god, it's Brian, that's his name! Anyhow Brian/Ricky is carried off on snowmobile which leads to the first in a series of close-ups on Rambo as his anger builds. Then we're treated to a snowmobile chase where the kid is saved before the pair are forced to walk back to Santa's village. When they arrive Kris has been properly santanapped and Rambo suddenly has a bow and arrow combo. Now it's time to rescue his old friend with the only transportation available... Santa's sleigh. Despite being told to stay put Brian hops in the backseat somehow without Rambo noticing.

What follows is a sequence of events involving Santa's sleigh taking rocket fire from a crop duster followed a fistfight on the wing of the plane that caps off with a dramatic crash. It's all about as hurried & senseless as it sounds and god is it ever silly fun. Ruskies are shooting rockets at Reindeer for christsake! The only way it could be capped off is by having Rambo cross a river on floating logs while defeating his enemies through feats of balance and buoyancy. Apparently one of Rambo's other traditions must be the Paul Bonyon challenge.

While the action so far has been fun, the audience is about to be treated with two of the most badass moments in any Christmas episode. The first of these majestic feats comes whil Rambo is approaching the enemy who are held up in a log camp. He slides down the log chute when two guards toss a grenade his way. Our hero punches said explosive out of the sky and right into the villains' trucks parked nearby. Realizing they're dealing with a man who punches explosive ordinance for fun, the guards flee in terror.

The following scene is one of those standard bits where the hero almost saves the day before being trapped under something, in this case a pile of logs, allowing the bad guys to escape with Kris in tow. Then something major happens, the moment in every 80s action story when all bets are off. Beginning with yet another slow zoom on Rambo's enraged face we're treated to a gear-up montage. Knives are put in holsters, bandanas are wrapped around heads, and shirts are torn away as our hero needs zero wind-resistance for his next move. He grabs a hubcap from a flaming truck, throws it on the ground, and uses it to surf down a mountain in order to jump on the enemy transport. The whole thing ranks among the top five Christmas miracles.

Everything after that point wraps up as expected. S.A.V.A.G.E. Flees the scene While Rambo, Santa (Kaufman), and Brian (Ricky) all head back to the orphanage to hand out gifts, share the joys of the season, and have a hearty laugh or two. Seriously, this ends with Rambo joyfully laughing it up.

Much like a fine wine this special has only gotten stranger with time. Consider that when it was made the world was still fresh off the success of First Blood Part II. While that film still contained plenty of violence and dark aspects it is easily the most traditional crowd-pleasing entry of the entire franchise which makes it a little easier to imagine that John might make a few new friends and begin to sort his life out. Watching this fresh off the grim ultraviolence of Last Blood is akin to whiplash. Sure Rambo was still bringing presents in that film, only the gifts were things like a claw-hammer slammed into someones testicles.

When S.A.V.A.G.E Stole Santa is weird, wonderful Christmas fun. There's no reason for it to exist and more intellectual types might claim it to be downright irresponsible to make a kids show from such violent subject matter. Basically it's the perfect kind of oft-forgotten vintage entertainment that people would like to emulate but are too damn self-aware to ever pull-off. As excited as I am to share this special with you all, it can easily be found online, there's even better news. There's a goddamn Halloween episode. Guess we know how to start next years Holiday content.

I sincerely hope everyone out there is feeling some of the Christmas spirit, or Kwanzaa if you're revving up for that. If not then please look up odd shows like this to bring a spark of something different to your celebrations. With any luck I'll have one more piece of Christmas material in time for the big day, but in case I get too busy, have a wonderful holiday no matter which one you celebrate.

Swayze Christmas Barstool, Partridge in a Pair Tree, and Christmas Tidbits 2019.

Crazy as it may be we're well on our way towards Christmas, with celebrations begin even closer for some of the other holidays. Maybe it's because I seem to have a slump after turkey day, or maybe it's because it took far too long to decorate, but I'm just not ready for Santa to wiggle his fat butt down the chimney. Reality dictates that there's only two weeks left before presents and eggnog flow freely so if we want to enjoy this season while it's here we may need to step things up. That's the plan for today, sharing as many festive odds and ends as possible with you all and maybe inspire a little celebrating.

One excellent way to boost the holiday spirit is to come up with something new, possibly even a new tradition. Back to when I was taking down Halloween decorations, which feels like an eternity ago, an idea occurred that was just cheeky enough to work. In the continuing battle to improve the Christmas display something just had to be done with our pear tree. I mean it's in the song, right? A partridge in a pear tree, so why not Keith Partridge? In an odd twist this particular notion didn't simply fade away. Instead it took a decent printer, some lamination, along with a paper punch and zip-ties have yielded the perfect melding of festive decoration and embodiment of bad puns. It's just big enough to be seen from the street but I've yet to hear any comments from the neighborhood. Wouldn't be surprised if some poor sap who doesn't know any better mistakes it for a memorial to some family member. Or maybe that's just me hoping for the chance to giggle at someone while they express sympathy for our loss. Even if nobody says a thing the best part is I can do this for years to come with different Partridge folks. Maybe next year will be Danny Bonaduce or Susan Dey.

Another way to lift our collective holiday mood is indulging in traditions which means it's time to show off the annual Patrick Swayze Christmas Barstool. Those who recall the written rules should know that any chair is acceptable for this task which turned out to be a godsend as the usual stool has up and vanished. With the change in seating I thought it best to alter the mood a bit for this edition. Instead of trying to replicate a seedy roadhouse I thought maybe Swayze could bounce for a more feminine environment, the sort of place with specials on mimosas. Given the sudden rush of this month that was about all the inspiration I could muster which resulted in a largely freeballed display. Gotta say I still like the results. The tree provides decent accompaniment without overshadowing the chair while the big plastic noel candle serves as a focal point. Those who remember this years Halloween mood table might recognize Clancy Brown Bear, this time sporting a Krampus mask. On one hand I know that if given more supplies I could have done a better job yet this seems to match the season perfectly.

One tradition I've never had much luck with is advent calendars. Up until a few years ago I'd never even had one of the things, and even then it wasn't all that great. That changed a little this month when my sister brought back something strange from Canada. This big ole slab of cardboard is a rather adult Abtey Chocolates advent-calendar Inside each compartment is a chocolate filled with hooch. There's an interesting variety here with some fruity and a few more traditional drinks on offer be it Cointreau, Kirsch, or some fine Camus Cognac. The actual flavor and eating experience can change wildly. For instance I've had two Cointreau chocolates so far that were far removed from each-other. The first surprised me by popping in my mouth like an orange liqueur zit to the point that I nearly spat some out. The second however either had less filling to begin with or had simply absorbed more of it which lent a nice alcoholic burn to a solid orange chocolate. Even with such variances there are still clear favorites and one type to be dreaded. The absolute winners thus far are Label 5 whisky and Camus Cognac whereas the Saint James Rum is pretty awful. There's yet another Camus offering that I've yet to encounter though, given an educated guess, it seems like they are likely in the two large compartments for the 23^rd and 24^th. While this certainly isn't a holiday tradition for everyone, wet alcoholic chocolate can be a bit off-putting after all, it's still a fun way to mix things up and make this Christmas a little different.

It just wouldn't be Santa season without the stash of yuletide horror movies. This year I decided to continue displaying items on the corner shelf with all the xmas terror tales placed in levels of importance. On top are most of the essentials like Christmas Evil, P2, the original Black Christmas, the stuff that just has to be viewed each and every December. Level two is for the really good but not always necessary films like The Box, Better Watch Out, and Krampus, Three gets into trashier territory along the lines of Jack Frost, Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (bet you forgot that was a festive flick), and the Black Christmas remake. Actually we have to start calling that the first remake, don't we? That's gonna be a problem in casual conversation. The final level is is a grab bag of weaker or extra trashy fare, Don't Open till Christmas, combined with a pile of films that only barely include the holiday, Blue Sunshine. Streaming services have offered some extra experiences this month, first with Blood Beat. If you ever had a weirdly specific wish for a samurai possession film set in rural Wisconsin for the holidays then this is for you. Seriously though this movie is absolutely nuts and occasionally hilarious yet it never makes a bit of damn sense. On the opposite end of the spectrum is I Trapped the Devil which is too slow for its own good only to mostly make up for it with a solid final act. Of the two the latter is the more festive... then again it totally lacks psychic samurai action.

For those of you who are extra brave there's always the risks and rewards of digging up old forgotten holiday specials on physical media or by scouring the halls of streaming services. Just this very night I settled in for A Very Merry Cricket. Like so many of these things there's a rather sizable history to this special but the short version is there was a popular book called The Cricket in Times Square which then had an animated special directed by Chuck Jones. Both the book and special would have their own sequels with this being the second of an animated trilogy that would later cap off with Yankee Doodle Cricket.

The story for this holiday special revolves around how hectic, noisy, and downright awful New York City is during the holidays, and during the 70s in general. Harry the cat and Tucker the mouse are upset by the horrific hustle and bustle created by people who've obviously forgotten the meaning of Christmas. The duo quickly recap the previous special where they made a friend named Chester the Cricket who was a musical genius that once managed to make New York quiet down and listen for the first time in history. Deciding Chester is the answer the pair set out for Connecticut in order to retrieve their buggy friend. The journey two and fro isn't all that exciting and then the group fails in their plan as the city is simply too loud for Chester to be heard. Eventually the demands of the public exhaust the power grid allowing Chester to play and once again bring peace to New York as people join hands and light the city with candles. Despite having not seen the previous tale this one still stunk of sequelitis. The trio even has a song about how they're going to do this again. There's nothing all that spectacular here, don't come at it expecting a forgotten Grinch level gem, the message is solid enough though. Lord knows many of the best holiday memories are formed in those quiet moments like sitting with a pet and some jolly drink by the light of the Christmas tree. Actually that sounds quite nice. Think I'm gonna get drunk with the cat.

. That's all for this sampling of holiday cheer. Would love to hear some new and old holiday practices from everyone out there, maybe even a hot tip on weird specials and movies. Got a good amount to work on today but n case you though this update was two small, worry not. I've got a special Friday the 13^th update for you all tomorrow. See you then.

Holiday Snacks and Thanksgiving Horror

Gobble, Gobble, everyone. I return from a small hiatus to bring you festive Thanksgiving tidings. Frankly yours truly has been all over the place as of late with some major success involving my pending return to classes alongside days of just being a slug. Of course I couldn't let the creamy center of the holiday season pass without spreading a little cheer on here. After all, there's plenty of little oddities to be thankful for whether it be the newest fattening chemical concoction on the shelves or the surprise beginning of what is sure to become a new tradition in this household.

We'll begin our tour of holiday goodies with the latest in cheery drinks as this year finds multiple soda/cola brands adding a festive spin to their offerings. Likely the biggest release of them must be Cinnamon Coke. Upon first news of this release I automatically recoiled in horror with memories of the horrific swill that was Pepsi Fire. If you suffer from the same worries let me put you at ease with the good news that Cinnamon Coke is actually pretty tasty, not an absolute knockout, but good enough to spice up your celebrations.

The key difference between this Coke versus the previous Pepsi attempt is the approach each company took towards the flavor. Where Pepsi Fire sought to emulate hot cinnamon candy, Coke decided to go with the classic winter warmer method as if a cinnamon stick had been placed in your glass. This means the flavor is much more balanced and tolerable though there's still a bit of artificial taste to it that may bother some folks. I'd wager it's worth a try for most anyone however as even with my slight reservations I've really enjoyed my time sipping this stuff down, and my nephew is over the moon for it. The packaging isn't all that seasonal, save for the brands self-imposed connection to Christmas, but if you're one of the coke at Christmas families then the little cinnamon sticks on the side will spice up your display ever so slightly. It seems like the sort of item that only few will really love but nobody will outright hate which is practically a holiday miracle in itself and deserving of a hopeful re-release in years to come. Plus I'd imagine it must be wonderful when paired with rum.

Mtn. Dew decided to reissue their previous Christmas brew by bringing Merry Mash-Up back to shelves. If I didn't know any better I'd swear this stuff was laced with some kind of elf produced amnesia dust. Not only could I barely recall the drink upon seeing it in stores but even now, after gleefully consuming a fair share, I can't really remember enough to describe the experience. It's some sort of Christmas punch attempt and it is tasty yet for whatever reason it slips the mind in a way uncharacteristic of most Dews. Thankfully the color and packaging a bold enough to help to maintain the illusion that this is some magical holiday cocktail. So yea... it's bright, cheery, and will make you feel revved up like Rudolph on Christmas Eve. Just don't expect it to stay with you the same way as something like Pitch Black.

Not one to be left out in the cold, Sprite has introduced Winter Spiced Cranberry as their new seasonal treat which actually puts them in competition with more of the ginger-ale brands that their lemon/lime peers. Gonna admit right off the bat I needed to experiment with this one to make it truly worthwhile. Which isn't to say this is a bad soda... just underwhelming. The packaging is a far cry better than Cinnamon Coke thanks to snowflakes and berries along with a nice green and red color combo that makes this look perfect for any holiday gathering. The problem comes when you open the can. The smell isn't that far off from regular Sprite with just a hint of additional elements. The flavor however comes across as very weak, almost like fountain pop with too much seltzer. It's not gross but the promise of spiced cranberry doesn't come to fruition with it being more of a light dankness added to traditional sprite. Granted this may make for a more appealing soda for those who like extra subtle flavors but I can't imagine this one finding a major foothold.

Something occurred a few nights after my first can of this new Sprite. All by its lonesome this wasn't what I craved from a holiday drink but then the notion took hold that this new formulation was intended to be used in a classic party dish. Quickly enough I busted out a tub of rainbow sherbet, tossed a few scoops into a big glass, and let pour with the soda. Success! A cheap and easy take on classic punch. Sure a proper version would involve frozen condensed juice mix and all that jazz but all that aside it's clear that Winter Spice Cranberry Sprite is at its best when used for sugary mixed-drinks. If you aim to have some foamy punch this year than I'd definitely commandeered this new Sprite for your mix, just not so much as a solo drink.

Understandably you're going to want something to eat with all these fluids and I'm happy to say there's a bit more variety than the usual winter flavors (gingerbread, peppermint, etc) this year. Case in point is the strange sounding Roasted Turkey Pringles. Presumably the same flavor found in the Friendsgiving Fest kit, that was available online for all of an hour, this variety is made to taste like a properly herb and spice coated roast turkey though the end result is a bit different than expected. Instead of tasting like the juicy turkey meat with hints of spices woven into it, the flavor is more like the roasted skin with all the herby goodness front and center and just a touch of meatiness backing it all up. While I enjoyed that taste there is one issue we must address which is the smell. These straight-up stink and I'm not even sure what it is that makes the can smell so bad but the problem dissipates along with the quantity of chips meaning your last dive into the can will be relatively lovely whereas the first serving has an almost b.o. quality without the sulfur aspect.

The candy aisle also has different flavors on offer this season thanks to the likes of new Sweet Cinnamon Kit-Kats. After the disappointment of the brands take on Pumpkin Spice, which tasted more than a bit like scented candles, I was naturally weary of how these might fare. All suspicions proved to be pointless cause man oh man are these ever delicious. Individually wrapped in festive packaging that will undoubtedly look lovely as a stocking stuffer these offer just enough lite cinnamon twinge to the normal Kit-Kat formula to be different without dipping into weird novelty territory. In fact the final result has a bit of a hot cocoa vibe allowing for perfect winter comfort food. So far this is my top pick of seasonal goodies for the year so I highly advise grabbing a bag or two should you find yourself at Target where these are currently exclusive.

One new food item in my life that technically has nothing to do with the holidays popped into my life in rather unexpected fashion. My father received some “thank you for your service” package having to do with high-school volunteers around Veteran's Day. Thing was done up like a care package with all kinds of weird stuff, including a decent hand lotion that I managed to obscond with. What's important for our discussion however was the package of Cheddar Cheese Bacon Combos. Somehow these originally came out early this year as a Walgreens exclusive and flew completely under my radar. Since dad isn't huge on stunt food he permitted me to indulge in these with the results being, well... not that great. Keep in mind I am not a fan of Pretzel Combos, it's cracker or tortilla for this guy, so that drags these down a few points already. That being said the bacon and cheese combo wasn't strong enough to be all that thrilling though it was still balanced enough to be decently tasty. They're not bad, not good, not all that interesting or unique, but I did eat the whole bag over a few nights so it's not like this is a total failure, just basic unremarkable snacking material.

Frequent visitors to this site know how important horror movies are at the CosmicSparky compound which counts all the more when celebrating Halloween and Christmas. Thanksgiving on the other hand has a downright anemic selection of terror tales to choose from. This past Saturday revolved around a binge of Turkey Day horror ranging from those that only pay slight homage to the holiday, The Boneyard, The Boogeyman, alongside more aptly themed but absolutely awful entries like Thankskilling. There was one film among the lot that was so trashy, so violent, and so utterly bonkers as to quickly worm its way into my heart ensuring a place alongside other low-class holiday treats like Silent Night, Deadly Night. The little cinematic miracle in question is Blood Rage.

thanks to I-Mockery for this wondrous gif. 

Filmed in 1983 and finally released in 1987, Blood Rage goes under a couple other titles like the dramatic Nightmare at Shadow Woods or the more generic Slasher. The story concerns twin brothers, one of which is murderous and was able to pin an early crime on his in-shock brother. A decade later on Thanksgiving night the innocent one escapes from mental facility prompting the other to go on a killing spree in order to take care of folks he doesn't care for such as his mothers new fiance. That's about as deep as things go with the rest of the film providing entertainment with gory kills, strange behavior, nudity, ludicrous dialogue, and a pumpkin pie based temper tantrum. For lovers of trashy cinema and lover of so bad it's good cinema this is a rare treat and I'm a little embarrassed it took so long for me to finally watch it. If you're planning to watch a Turkey this Thursday this is available to stream on prime. My point is Blood Rage is the dumb Thanksgiving slasherflick I always wanted which makes me a very thankful pilgrim this year.

And with that it's back to holiday preparation. This house is actually going to have guests on Thursday meaning there's plenty of cleaning to be done and dishes to be planned. Should time allow I might even get started on the Christmas lights. For now I wish you all a fine and dandy Thanksgiving. With luck you'll hear from me again before December since I've still got a truckload of sentai episodes to review.