December 2021 Snack Report and the Value of Cheap Movies

 

During the hustle and bustle of the holiday season it’s not uncommon to let a thing or two slip by, perhaps leave a chore lagging behind, or maybe as an example totally neglect your blog for close to a month. Yeah, I’ll own up to it, what began as a selfish mission to recharge post Halloween led to a number of crazy weeks. Within the past week alone I’ve worked black friday retail, gotten two vaccines, seen plenty of snow, and had to endure a doggy house guest.. So yes I’ve been properly busy but with the holiday feeling growing like some sort of festive fungus I’d say it’s time to get back on the horse.

    November in itself was something of a prolonged blur if we’re being at all honest. What few distinct moments I can recall seem incredibly far off despite being just weeks ago. Among those snippets of consciousness are mostly shopping outings, meaning you’ll have to forgive this turning mostly into another snack report. It’s just that when days start to run together, the weekend where you find Christmas cereal has the best chance of sticking out. It’s not all sugary treats though so stick around even if you aren’t obsessed with novelty ice cream.

Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cake Ice Cream

    Speaking of novelty ice cream let’s talk about one of the absolute highlights of the season so far. This Wal-Mart exclusive was set to come out in November though yours truly found some before Halloween and while it’s initial announcement was exciting there was a bit of trepidation as the first news posts didn’t mention which company was behind this magical slurry. Once word broke that this was the work of Hudsonville, a prime Michgian ice cream brand, all worry washed away.

    If you’re on the hunt please remember that this is only available in pints, a marketing choice that’s probably for your own safety. The packaging is unmissable though with a bright red tacky holiday look calling back to a time when people were less obsessed with calorie counting or modern aesthetics.

    Digging into the goo reveals something that totally lives up to the name. This is a debbie Christmas tree cake turned into ice cream. Everything from the sprinkles, cream, cake, and that waxy stuff all blended with ice cream to create something astoundingly decadent. It’s pretty much flawless in every regard. If you see some, get it, horde it if you must. Build a temple in worship of it. Shit’s that good.

Elf on the Shelf Hot Cocoa Cereal

    For those who found the original elf on the shelf cereal to be a bit underwhelming, which… yeah it had problems, Kellog’s is looking to rope you in this year with a new secondary offering based on that most beloved of drinks, hot cocoa. The packaging still isn’t the best but I found the cocoa coloring is an improvement overall which translates to the cereal.

    Let’s be honest; as far as chocolate cereals go there are better options out there. That being said this is a fine translation of mass market hot cocoa to cereal form right down to the tiny, super dry, marshmallows. The texture, flavor, and effects on milk are generally pleasing. It’s been good enough to warrant eating the whole box. Nothing amazing, just solid festive fare.

Apple Pie Toast Crunch

    If approximating hot drinks isn’t your thing how about desert? The toast crunch line has broadened this year with Apple Pie and oh Christ is this somehow competes with little debbie ice cream for title of reason for the season.

    The presentation is alright at best with a solid green and Santa caps on all the lil toast crunch guya. Once you’re inside however the world changes. The smell is only a bit off from regulr toast crunch with a solid hint of fruit. The flavor is just amazing though. Somehow the texture even helps to maintain that concept of refreshing and sweet apple goodness. It’s good enough to be deserving of a year round position or at the very least returning every Christmas for all time. Absolutely outstanding.

Mtn Dew Gingerbread Spiced

    Not content to spend all their creativity on Halloween those folks over at Dew have brought us yet another new flavor for the yuletide. Rather than stick to something safe like a holiday punch they went straight to the baked goods section for a gingerbread soda. Don’t let the idea freak you out cause this is basically the closet dew has ever come to ginger ale and the results are pretty tasty.

    Gotta admit the packaging on this one is a little off due to the sorta pissy yellow tint on everything. Plus angry gingerbread men don’t scream refreshment quite like rocking apples or mysterious phantoms. Flavor wise we’ve got something worthwhile here. There’s a definite ginger tinge with a bit more citrus back-up than usual ginger ales.

    Upon first drink the thought occurred that this would make for an awesome float though that experiment didn’t totally pan out. In a float the flavor is greatly diminished making for something very smooth and sorta bland almost like a snow float which, while seasonally appropriate, isn’t the most satisfying. It did inspire me to make a float with the Kroger exclusive apple flavor which was quite nice.

Gingerbread Kit Kat

    Anytime Kit Kat unleashes a new flavor my brow instinctively flexes with suspicion. More than most brands Kit Kat can waver wildly between fantastic and downright gross. I’m happy to report these fall towards the upper end of alright. Initially there’s a waxy sorta candle-like flavor going on that doesn’t work. After you bite into it though and all the flavors start to properly blend these end up as a pretty decent treat. Not up to the level of Key Lime or Cinamon Kit Kats but a worthy improvement over past mistakes like pumpkin spice.

M&M’s Snowballs

    As someone who holds pretzel M&M’s in the highest regard this winter variety seemed like a good chance for the oft forgotten M&M to get some time in the spotlight. Unfortunately The white chocolate this brand uses doesn’t blend well enough with the pretzel resulting in a candy that shifts between being too salty or too sweet depending on the overall composition. They’re still edible but pretty lame and a major letdown.

    When not occupied with work, video games, board games, pets, chores, you get the idea, I like to work through a big pile of unviwed dvds & blu-rays. Sometimes that pile undergoes a growth spurt thanks in no small part to the dollar tree. During the pandemic I discovered a bounty of dirt cheap entertainment I’d sadly neglected for far too long. The excuse back in the day was just how many of those movies are crap, and indeed many of them are. Even so there’s plenty of good, great, or at least outright bizarre flicks to be found for less than the cost of a rental.

    This most recent haul lacks for much in the way of horror, maybe 3 titles in total, but the remainder is made up of some real special treats. Can’t tell you how long I’ve waited to see Kid Galahad, a movie that manages to house both Elvis and Bronson. There’s an early 2000’s western called The Claim with an absolutely bonkers cast of folks like Wes bentley and Milla Jovovich. Best of all is a classic of lazy Saturday afternoons, Men at Work. I know this movie is hated by many but I couldn’t tell you how often I sat through this one as a kid just enjoying the antics of Charlie and Emilio. We might have to talk about that one in detail somewhere down the road. First I gotta make the perfect setting for it, early Sat/Sun afternoon preferably with a nice selection cheese snacks and a small reason to feel smug. Could make for a fine piece of holiday therapy. You keep Christmas in your way and let me keep it in mine. Suppose this should mark a warning that if I’m your secret Santa there’s gonna be some dollar store flicks in your stocking.

    Well this wasn’t amazing, moreso since images won't work for some reason, but I’m back, that’s the important thing. It’s bee harder and harder to find writing time in recent months but I’d like to keep this place in fighting shape again. Plus I might find the lil spark that’s currently missing from my holiday mood. Heck, maybe’s it’s finally time to write about the night court episode with Santa and michael j fox. You’ve all been warned.

Happy Halloween Soda Party

 

    Time and tine again it amazes me how much each season can have it’s own mood and tone separate from those of the past. This can radically differ from what we expect as well. Marching into the Halloween season this year I thought it was going to be a massive return to form after the more muted 2020 model. Instead it’s been a mixed bag of developments on that direction alongside lingering difficulties like piss poor supply chains at stores. Admittedly it took me longer than usual to find the best way to take in this Halloween, which is as something of a zen observer. This wasn’t a season to be sucked into or even forced but to be gently prodded and then viewed in comfort.

    Little known tidbit about yours truly but during my media-obsessed youth I took more than few life lessons and viewpoints from favorite flicks like the dirty slacker work-ethic of Tremors. One of my biggest inspirations for how to view life was Ricky from The Burbs, not Corey Feldman himself mind you cause that guy… yeeesh. I always loved the sight of a character who reveled in his simple surroundings, taking entertainment from his immediate surroundings. Rickey is essentially the spirit animal of this season as best illustrated tonight when one of my favorite moments was just sitting in the garage alongside my cat, sipping pumpkin ale, and watching rainfall on my decorations. As an activity it could technically be done any night of the year but when else would the beer be brewed with pumpkins and the yard be filled with giant spiders and gravestones?

    In the spirit of just enjoying the simple things, one of most recent little adventures was a small soda tasting event. The Hitcher was on tv, I turned on some of the wall lanterns and busted out a line-up of various limited flavors for all to try. Like a wine-tasting only somehow less damaging on teeth.

    The first flavor on tap isn’t actually Halloween inspired but it’s new and required assigning a mission to a relative on a road trip. Mtn Dew recently brought out a Food Lion exclusive called Uproar. Being from Michigan I’m not sure I’ve ever even seen a Food Lion so when my sister announced her plans to head to the Carolina's to drop off Ikea furniture I swooped in and bade her bring back as much as possible. Is Uproar worth owing someone thirty bucks? Almost.

    Let’s be fair; Dew is putting out so many flavors in recent years that some of them are actually beginning to blend together in my mind. Scent wise this is one of the all-time best with the Kiwi berry combo smelling just plain awesome. Taste is good but a little hard to pin down as I swear there’s bits of past Dews floating around in there. Neither flavor truly takes over leaving the distinction of simply being really good candy water. But I do mean really good candy water definitely deserving of hoarding for those with access.

    Outside of the stash of Uproar and another 12-pack of Voodew 3 my sister also brought back a bottle of Sheets Pumpkin Pie Soda. Don’t let first impressions matter too much cause this stuff smells like total ass but the flavor ain’t half bad. Think of the crossroads between cream soda and ginger ale and you’ll have a decent idea of what’s going on. It’s both smooth and bitey, just a shame it’s scented like corpse.

    Next up were two bottles I’d picked up nearly a month ago starting with Hanks Caramel Apple Cream Soda. Oh yeah, this was some good shit right here. The scent almost perfectly captures every aspect with proper waves of apple and candy. Taste is mostly on point as well though I wish there was just a little more of that apple pucker to it. If I’d thought of it adding some Dew Thrashed Apple woulda been a fine idea.

    Last up was Hanks Pumpkin Spice Cream soda which I’d feared had the potential to be the worst of the bunch. Turns out it was, just not for the reasons I expected. I’d imagined something with a nasty candle taste but the actual product just tastes like… soda. No particular soda either. Almost like a jumble of leftover flavors from a pop machine. Sheets did a much better job tackling this concept but at least Hanks has that lovely caramel apple.

    Another of those odd moments that only seem to happen this time of year was last week , maybe a Wednesday at 2 AM. I decided it was time to make a pumpkin totem. No doubt you’ve seen a few in your own towns. Somebody takes the classic plastic pumpkin pail, drills a hole in the bottom, and stacks em around a pole wrapped in lights. It’s a pretty low-budget decoration with a decent impact on whatever your display happens to be. It was the feeling of welding power tools to augment candy buckets in the wee hours that really made this special.

    It might seem like I’m a bit melancholy and indeed I am shocked that the big night’s almost here. As with so many seasons there were great surprises and a few missed opportunities. Wasn’t able to keep the blog posted anywhere near as much as I’d planed but I wanted to get at least one more out there for all you fellow Halloweeny folks. Our time is here, to truly revel in a holiday dressed in whimsically grim attire. Go out and enjoy the simple pleasures of this time while you can. Listen to the Maniac Cop rap while heading to micky D’s for a pumpkin cream pie. Take one more after dark stroll through the park. Don’t force it, just nudge it and enjoy the results of this most wonderful time. Thanks to anybody who includes this small space as part of their year and may you all have the happiest of Halloweens.

September Spree 2021:

 

    If you’ve spent any amount of time around this blog you’ll no doubt have noticed a trend towards traditions. Be it the usage of Helloween to usher in October or the Thanksgiving cinematic turkey, I simply can’t help myself from adopting different annual practices. One of the oddest ones to worm its way into my life in recent years is the September spree, an annual outing of extreme commercial avarice. The general rule has been that there is no set date for this practice. I just get up one day in September, decide to go shopping, and bring back a larger than average amount of stuff. Only this year I actually had to set a date and naturally worried if planning for the spree would upset the balance of nature. Turns out those fears were unfounded Despite a few hurdles, or possibly because of them, the deeper meaning of this odd tradition made itself known.

    Starting off the adventure we headed to Home Depot which had reportedly gone all-out on some kickass decorations this year though the one I visited apparently didn’t get the memo. It seemed like this wasn’t just them selling out as they obviously hadn’t cleared out much space for anything and were carrying a pittance of what the company had on offer. First stop ended up as a total bust but not enough to discourage the spirit of materialism.

    Thankfully this same plaza was home to Ollie’s Bargain Outlet. If you’ve never made a visit to any of their stores just combine a bit of hazy childhood memories with nightmares, sadness, and a nifty element of surprise. Like the stores are sorta beat down and depressing but you can find such awesome shit at dirt cheap prices it feels like going to a weirdo toy store. I walked outta there with multiple board games and a marvel omnibus for just over 40 bucks.

    Next up was Target where things were messy to say the least. On the one hand it was easy to find nice little items like candy and coffee but the Halloween section was something of a desert. Found a couple of goodies like this years craft pumpkin, yet another tradition, and a nicely made groundbreaking skeleton, but a lot of heavy hitters and essentials were absolutely awol. This is something of a theme this season thanks to a two-pronged event. On one end there’s a whole lotta people who want to get back into Halloween big time after trimming back in 2020 and are buying up everything in sight. At the same time some of these stores, like my local dollar tree, based their orders off of last years sales which is an astoundingly bad way to do business. Combine trimmed orders with increased demand and the result are barren aisles.

    The nearest Spirit store had some alright stuff just not the one thing I would buy without any concern for price. Menards basically hadn’t added anything new since August, Lowe’s was down to broken display models for some of their items, though there were some nice battery op torices. Michael's appeared to have been besieged by the tazmanian devil though they at least promised to be restocked down the line. Yet even with these lackluster showings I still managed to find a decent selection of items

    Ending our journey were two grocery stops where a plethora of seasonal items were nabbed up. While the primary reason for visiting Kroger was the new Thrashed Apple Mtn Dew it oddly served as the location for buying new string lights. Local hotspot, Horrocks served as the spot to stock up on pumpkin ale along with Halloween Gummi Worms and Pumpkin Spice Malt Balls. On the ale front Sam Adams Jack-O is probably the front-runner so far this year. That could easily change once if Southern Tier finally shows up.

    As you can tell we managed to bring home a lot of goodies, even if they weren’t the ones I planed on getting, and in the process spent far less than I imagined. That’s where the beauty of this event started to shine through. We often get so bogged down and complacent by having shopping constantly at our fingertips that we forget the real hunt of just going hog-wiled. The point of the spree isn’t to spend a ton, though that is a possibility. The point is to get out there and shop like it’s the 20^th century. Hit up so many stores your feet ache. Search high and low to see what’s out there. Give those items you’ve often passed over a shot at the limelight. The September spree isn’t so much about buying a shitload so much as acting like you’re going too, and rewarding the stores that make living large an actual possibility.

    Obviously your mileage for something like the September spree could be far less than mine. No doubt many of you did such crazy things as having kids or getting married which ties up some funds. Do yourself a favor though and take some of your fun cash and just go on a big ole shopping tour with it. You’ll likely still have some at the end of the day along with something you never expected. That’s the sort of surprise that makes life a bit more fun.

    For those interested I’ll try to recreate the full list of goodies: Deadpool Minibus 2, Campaign Manager 2008, Keyforge Age of Acension Starter, teal craft pumpkin, groundbreaking skeleton, pumpkin love coffee, candies, cloth folding coffin, more candy, beetle decoration, Pumpkin Spice Maltballs, upwards of 16 bottles of pumpkin ale, gorgonzola cheese, string lights, pumpkin torches, Mtn Dew, Cookies, Dove chocolate, and a reminder to pace myself on all that sugar. Consider this along with past September posts as an example f what can happen when you just let yourself shop freely.

    That’s enough commercialism for tonight. Next time I’ll bring you guys something a bit more wholesome and down to Earth. Right now I’m stuck indoors with the pounding of rain as a constant companion. Guess it’s time to dig out more decorations and start planning this years mood fixture. Gonna leave tables behind this year so keep an eye out for that. Hope you’re all adventuring and finding new ways to inspire that spooky spirit.

Halloween Snack Report 2021: Part 1

 

    For years I have set the official start of fall right around this point in September. This is thanks to the last major town festival which serves as a final outlet for local yaboos to get their last traces of summer crazy outta their system and return to proper living. Last year this important passage was missing since covid prevented any such social events but this September marked a… triumphant? Well some kind of return and now it’s over and true blue, honest to god fall is finally here!

    Welcome then to the best part of each and every year otherwise known as the last third of it. No doubt the new job has made it tougher to keep up with regular posting but the months that comprise fall and early winter are just too damn wonderful to miss out on. As mentioned in a previous post that likely means more frequent but smaller updates from now through new years. There’s some good stuff on deck too with several posts already in utero. In that spirit let’s do our first of likely several snack reports. As llck would have it we’ve already encountered several of the heavy hitters for the Halloween season such as Shrieker Skittles and Apple Cider Donut Oreo Cookies but today we’re gonna look at the major shining stars of spook season 2021.

    For the third Halloween in a row Mtn Dew has blessed us with ytt another mystery flavor soda to sooth our frightful thirsts. Right off the bat there’s a shift towards a darker blue motif for the packaging that conveys a different mood without losing that classic haunted house flair. Sure I give the dew art department lots of props as us but this one is without a doubt one of their absolute masterpieces. From the calming teal to dark blue with spots of yellow all wrapped around the usual grim reaper figure and his bat & spider cohorts, everything looks like a classic beistle diecut with just enough of that obnoxious bro vibe to keep it distinct.

    Of course this wouldn’t be a proper Voodew edition without the mystery flavor. There’s a split opinion on the intended flavor with some family members believing this is Runts candy in soda form. Meanwhile I’ve seen some folks online stake their claim on Starburst candy. To an extent I can see why someone would think either of those but for my part I believe this is actually cotton candy. It’s scent base flavor, even the softly fading aftertaste all scream cotton goodness to me.

    Is Voodew III any good though? Absolutely. Hard to saw after so long between each entry but I think this may be my favorite Voodew so far and I’d love it to come back as a regular flavor (along with Pitch Black and a dozen others). It’s smooth, properly refreshing with little to no gack aspect. Rating wise this is at least a 4.5 and totally deserving of a place in everyone’s Halloween shrine, aka fridge.

    Those nuts over at Dew didn’t settle on merely one specialty flavor for the season. There’s actually 3 once you count the weird blue one at Applebees, but for the moment I’m talking about the Kroger exclusive Thrashed Apple. Talk about a pairing way too long in the making. Dew has been infused with nearly every major fruit by this point yet somehow it took all this time to finally get an apple variety. Frankly I blame white people for the delay. Ya notice Mexico’s got plenty of apple soda. Social theories aside this was a majorly exciting product which was only more impressive by being pushed out alongside the new Voodew. So how’s it stack up?

    Starting with the looks there’s a whole character motif going on here, something I believe is company wide as the new Voltage package also has a new character. Here’s we’ve got some rock and roller apples and a whole lotta green. Can’t help but think the whole thing would have looked better with a few traces of fall colors but what’s here is still nice. In a direct comparison to Voodew however this just looks like the goofy middle child whose going through a phase.

    When it comes to flavor this is pure candy water. Stopping just shy of being outright melted jolly rancher there’s still that distinctive hard candy tinge to the taste. Can’t deny it’s refreshing and unique though. Being so sweet helps to set it apart from other apple sodas and there’s no other Dew quite like it. This is the sort of thing where I wouldn’t mind it coming back into our lives every now and then but it hasn’t quite earned a top spot. Let’s say a 3.5 rating. Still a huge win to have two awesome sugary drinks this season.

    Undoubtedly the biggest snack launch this fall has got to be Monster Mash cereal. It’d be polite to say the Monster Cereals brand has been slacking the past few years by doing just the bare minimum to stay in the spotlight. Probably the last truly notable exploit was the card game in 2018. For 2021 General Mills got off the couch, combed the crumbs from their beard, and actually did something worthwhile by creating a new cereal based on the bones of all the old ones.

    Packaging is good, not great, but good. Gonna end up sounding mean about this one, which is a shame since I honestly do like the whole monsters coming together as a band motif. It’s just that it all feels a little small too focused. Clean retro design has it’s place for sure but this novelty record looking cover art for Monster Mash doesn’t live up to the epic promise of all five of our heroes joining forces. At least let us see the venue these guys are jamming at. Don’t leave them stranded in some endless black void like an anime character who can’t sort out their feels.

    I’ve not taken the time to catalog which pieces of Munster Mash hail from which of the individual monster cereals but I can confirm there’s a bit of everybody in here, most importantly my precious Yummy Mummy. The combined taste is both a little bit of everything yet all of nothing all at once. At first I was a little disappointed by the non-committal nature of this grab bag of flavors. A couple days later however found me suffering from an incredible hunger with no real craving for anything in particular. In that mindset Monster Mash suddenly took on a new life. That’s when I realized it’s true use.

    We all have those blah moments even during our favorite season. Maybe work took too much out of us or we woke up to a rush of chores. Those days can leave us wanting to do something seasonal but lacking for inspiration. That’s when Monster Mash swoops in for the rescue by providing us a little bit of everything when we have no idea what we actually want. In essence this is the Halloween mood stabilizer all of us could use in a pinch. Based on its own merits as a cereal it maybe merits a 3 out of five but as a lifesaver for spooky season it’s invaluable. Even better is that it’s one of those rare cereal that’s actually good when eaten dry. Just reach on in and see which monster flavors you pull back.

    Gotta say this is one of the better years for snacks in recent memory. It’s great to see so many companies pumping out the hits to help set the world back on track. These three are standing on top at the moment but there’s still so many treats to talk about, just wait till yall see the results of the September spree. Gonna do my damnedest to not fall behind since this season’s shaping up so nicely. Mostly I want to support all your festive spirits in the hope that you’ll return the favor. We’ve been given the opportunity to get back to celebrating the season the right way so let’s not waste it.

Snack Report August 2021

 

    Life of late still feels very rushed. In the weeks since our last post I’ve put together more furniture, completed more home improvements, seen a dog join and then leave the household, oh and I’m an assistant manager now. One could say I’m in need of a vacation though lord knows I hate those so fingers crossed things start to settle down around here. Still; change seems to be in the air damn near everywhere, including the snack aisle where summer fare is giving way to fall flavors and new discoveries. I actually came across new Halloween candy at the tail end of July. Before I’m overloaded with pumpkin spice and maple it’s probably best we do a new snack report.

    Seeing as this post is woefully behind schedule and I’ve been overloaded with new snacks, a lot of these reviews are going to be rapid fire affairs. I’m talking stream of consciousness stuff here just to see if it’s possible to cover everything. The addition of several fall and spooky items means this also counts as our first step into the most sacred season of the whole year. Without further pomp let’s get this mother rolling.

Cheez-It Snap’d BBQ, Parmesan Ranch, Smoked Bacon Cheddar

    The Snap’d line from Cheez-It was already a big winner with just their basic flavors but never one to rest the company decided to pump out some new goods, presumably for a limited time. The Parmesan Ranch variety was alright, decent enough as a limited item but not totally deserving of a permanent spot in the line. Bacon Cheddar was a step up by offering the flavoring of TGI Fridays Potato Skins without the mouth-shredding texture. Without a doubt the big winner was BBQ with just the right balance of smoke, sweet, and crunchy. I’d advise picking up all three if possible but if you’re bound by a tight wallet at least nab some BBQ.

Hostess Sundae Cupcakes

    For some odd reason the new batches of Hostess goodies are getting harder to find in this area. At the very least I was able to find these Sundae Cupcakes once, just once mind you. Overall they’re not all that different from traditional cupcakes with that fatty/chemical Hostess allure. Still decent enough for a lunch item.

Little Debbie Jelly Creme Pies

    Out of freaking nowhere I came across a Little Debbie variety I’d never seen nor heard of. The concept involves a sort of cross-breading of the companies cherry cordials, crème pies, and a spot of strawberry jelly. The result is so damn tasty. Like this is easily one of Debbie’s finest accomplishments in recent years and yet it’s completely under the radar. So far I’ve only seen these at Wal-Mart so you may have to venture there to find em. Of course if you’re anything like me a regular wally-world snack trip is penciled in somewhere on the calendar.

Shrieker Skittles

    Expanding on the concept leftover from zombie skittles these new shriekers have random sour candies riddled throughout each bag. What makes this sort of fun is how the sour level somewhat depends on whatever the original flavor was meant to be. In my personal experience the sour green apple pieces seem to take the title for top pucker power.

    These are a major improvement over zombie skittles in nearly every way. The package design is clean yet festive, sour candy is a much easier sell than rotten corpse flavor, and the base flavors are good to boot. My personal level of repeat purchases is gonna come down to how crazy this season gets but so far these make for a damn fine start to spooky shenanigans. About the only issue is that the random sour spikes can give you a craving for consistently sour candy. I’d say at least a four out of five.

Cookies & Scream M&M’s

    On the more comforting end of Halloween candy are cookies and scream. Gotta give some props to the design team on this packaging. It manages to walk the line between clean modern aesthetic and classic Halloween with good use of colors. The taste isn’t all that nutty or unique but the execution is solid and satisfying. It’s actually pretty easy to curb your sweet-tooth with a quick handful. Another excellent early entry in this years Halloween offerings. Four outta five, easy.

Turkey Hill BBQ Cracklin Strips

    Alright so these aren’t new items per-say but they’re new to me and my continuing quest to find the best cracklin. The bbq flavor adds a fun twist to the base cracklin but in this case it’s a little too sweet and falls short of being quality pork snacks.

Bavarian Meats

    Another odd surprise these bavarian meats may be the best mass market meat sticks I’ve ever come across. Salty, meaty, and earthy in just the right mix with an excellent texture that begins with a crisp snap of the casing. Problem is I haven’t found them anywhere closer than a gas station 30 miles away. Still; if any of you jerky lovers see em in the wild there’s a great treat.

Bombay Sapphire Raspberry Blackberry Gin

    Recently I’ve started to scour the novelties of the booze aisle like peanut butter whiskey (stay away from it) and this new offshoot of Bombay Sapphire. They’ve taken the classic gin and infused it with berries. Sound’s like a guaranteed winner o what’s the final result? Well it’s sorta like good robitussim. Not really bad per-say, just not living up to its potential. The real trick is having the right drink to mix it with as it pairs especially well with tea. Very much a novelty item though that will only please a handful of people.

Little Debbie Unicorn Cakes

    Lord knows what dark ritual initiated the incessant wave of unicorn and mermaid themed items that have clogged up shelves over the past few years but the fact remains that I can’t resist a shiny new snack cake. Sadly the actual item is fairly generic overall with little outside of their presentation to separate them from other snack cakes. They taste good enough but you’re not missing anything by giving em a pass.

Japanese Kit-Kats: Orange and Crushed Almond & Cranberry

    When it comes to Kit-Kats and Doritos nobody outdoes Japan. The land of Kaiju never ceases to come up with new varieties of these American snack staples while the parent companies leave us in the dust. The occasional trip to an Asian grocer or world market can help close the gap however which is how I got my mitts on two different Kit-Kats from afar.

    Orange Kit-Kat reminds me of what those Terry’s Chocolate Oranges might be like if they didn’t suck. Not only is the flavor balanced much better but the additional element of crunchy wafer helps it all go down smooth. The big find however is the Crushed Almond & Cranberry Kit-Kat which manage to prove that candy can in fact taste classy. It’s not too fruity, or nutty, or chocolaty, just this glorious blend of sweet and comforting.

Puchao Gummy Candy.

    I’ve crossed paths with Puchao countless times yet always managed to skip over them thanks to timing, budget, what have you. Not making that mistake any longer. Not only is are the fruity flavors quite satisfying but the texture, that’s what sells it for a fan of chewy stuff. They work so well thanks to the two separate candy elements, one being the outer gummy with spongy beads inside. They’re a lot of fun and their individually wrapped presentation makes em perfect for work.

Pocky Tasty

    Tasty isn’t exactly the most detailed flavor description so you’re likely wondering the same thing as me, what are these? Basically think of em as deluxe pocky. They use ingredients like charred milk and fermented butter to offer a richer version of traditional pocky. The biscuit stick is a little thicker as well. These touches may not sound like anything all that special but it adds up to a very different experience than traditional Pocky. Problem is these don’t quite scratch that casual snack itch the same way regular Pocky does. In a way it’s almost too refined for it’s own good.

Zapps Evil Eye Potato Chips

    Been a big fan of Zapp’s chips for a few years now, still hold the opinion that Gator Tators are the ultimate sandwich topping. These Evil Eye chips came out quite some time ago with it wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I finally found some. They whole idea is that they’re a hot, spicy, Cajun treat but the proved to be a bit divisive in the family. I personally found em underwhelming, couldn’t even describe much of the taste to you. My nephew on the other hand openly declares these as his favorite potato chip. So these are either totally forgettable or a mana straight from heaven.

Bakerly French Pancakes

    Here’s an odd one. Bags of pre-made, room temp, pancakes you can bust out whenever you want. No special flavors, fairly simple ingredients list. It’s on tap pancake and that’s just fucking tits. Sure I’ve had better overall pancakes, and bigger ones no doubt, but the sheer convenience if this item is unrivaled. You don’t even need to microwave em if you’d feel like it. Just grab one outta the bag.

Fruity Cereal Kit-Kat

    Not to be completely outdone by Japan, the U.S. branch of Kit-Kat unleashes their third or fourth flavor of the year with the new fruity cereal variety. Honestly these are pretty solid, though I’m not sure if they’re as good as the Key Lime ones that are still readilly available. Gotta call them out on a big booboo though. The package shows a ring shaped cereal like Fruit Loops but these are way more Fruity Pebbles with that pronounced coriander flavor. If you’re a pebbles fiend definitely give these a go.

Lays Cheetos and Funyuns Potato Chips

    Lays went deep into corporate synergy territory this Summer with a trio of chips flavored like other snacks. The Cool Ranch Doritos variety continues to elude me which is a shame as one of these is absolutely phenomenal. Let’s start with the less successful version then, Funyuns.

    Full disclosure; I hate funyuons, always have. Dusting a chip with that flavor was always gonna be an uphill battle. By themselves these are pretty much pointless as they don’t do enough of any one thing to stand out nor do they manage to really work as a regular chip with that sweet and pissy onion taste. However they’re fairly decent on a sandwich and thus not entirely without merit. That being said my usual ratings would leave this somewhere around a two out of five.

    Cheetos Potato Chips on the other hand, oh my god these chips. Lays had somewhere taken the experience of licking the Cheetos power off ones fingers and translated that perfectly onto a chip. It’s lunacy, possibly outright sorcery, but goddamn is it ever tasty. That’s a five outta five for those bad boys.

Dolce De Louche Toast Crunch

    Nearly forgot about this one but don’t take that as a comment on its quality. The troubled history of caramel and dolce cereals is well documented with most efforts missing the mark. This one though is some good shit. There’s enough of the original toast crunch taste to even out the dolce elements in order to make a tasty and satisfying cereal. I’d actually like to see these stick around as they’re one of the better toast crunch spin-offs.

Salted Caramel Brownie Oreo

    Talk about one that nearly got away. I passed these up the first time I saw em because I was already buried in sugary treats only to see them vanish from shelves. Weeks later one of the local stores had the good sense to restock at least a little. The wait was absolutely worth it too as, much like the Dolce De Louche Toast Crunch, show a marked improvement in how companies are handling caramel items. I know there’s a big group of salted caramel haters out there but the wizards at Oreo found a way to make everyone happy by mixing in brownies. The end result is something with that salty, burnt sugar taste but with an excess of chocolate to keep everything in line. The only weird part is that dipping the cookies in anything activates the salt even more but they’re still damn good.

Apple Cider Donut Oreo

    Here’s one of two items I picked mere hours ago. We’re talking first impressions territory here. The new fall Oreo is too big a topic to sit on though and it looks like they’ve got a real winner this year. Only had one cookie so far sans milk or coffee and the experience was rather surprising. Instead of tasting like a cider flavored donut the whole thing come across more like what happens when you dipp a donut into a proper class of cider. There’s even more of a refreshing moisture component at work here. Can’t wait to see how they fair with liquids but so far so good.

MTN Dew Spark

    Spark actually came out summer of 2020, a lousy time for any product launch, as a Speedway exclusive. Somebody was smart enough to give it a second round for those of us who stayed away from people last year. The whole idea is raspberry lemonade dew which sorta comes across as ruby red squirt mixed with dew. Only had about a third of a bottle so far but as now it stands as a mid-tier Dew.

    At last I think I’m caught up on snacks. You may have noticed a few items in the pictures I didn’t even talk about since there hasn’t been time to try everything just yet. It’s time to start making… time I guess. Updates have been sporadic to say the least but we’re right on the cusp of spooky season and now way am I letting that slip by. Most likely I’m gonna have to switch to smaller but more frequent posts to pull that off though I don want to talk about another Ultra series before we officially bring out the pumpkins and bats, says the guy whose already been buying decorations for a month and a half. Gotta get back to work on other thing but you guys sound off. Lemme know what’s you’re looking forward to in the next few months and any topics you’d like me to touch on.

Snack Report: June 2021

 

    Life of recent has felt like some kind of hallucination. Why just a few months ago it was totally expected of me to stay home, avoid people, and generally do whatever to fill the time. Now I’m working, shopping, just last week I moved furniture out of an abandoned Younkers (details to come). You few faithful readers have undoubtedly noticed this has effected the blogging schedule. To some extent that comes down to simply not having trained myself to reallocate time for it. The other issue comes with articles like today's where enough has happened in a relatively short time that something I ate a week ago feels like some phantom memory. Consider this a warning then that this newest snack report is likely to read more like a stream-of-consciousness exercise than a regular blog post.

Reese’s Big Cup with Pretzels and Reese's Peanut Butter Lovers

    Reese’s recently went on a bender, introducing different variations of peanut butter fandom to their fabled candy. There’s one with a half-chocolate outer coating, one with an all peanut butter approach, and a big’n with pretzels. Over the past couple of months I’ve had all three and can safely say meh to the first, yum to the second, and something more complicated for the third. See… the balance for the big cup is simply off. Having such a large cup provides a higher amount of peanut butter without an equal increase in chocolate. Adding to the problem is whatever brand of pretzel they used is just too dry and salty to perfectly blend with the other flavors. It’s not bad but anyone who’s had this sort of thing before know it can be done better. Can’t see any of the three lasting long term. Their alright with peanut butter lovers being the most successful.

Red Bull Summer Edition Dragon Fruit

    By this point in time Red Bull is essentially the local tourist trap of the energy drink market, in the sense that it’s always there but you only pay attention to it on special occasions. Since summer is back in swing it’s time for a new seasonal offering laced with the flavor of one of my favorite fruits. There is a good amount of dragon fruit flavor here, with a fairly pleasant smell to match. The problem is that when this is mixed with red bulls energy formula it ends up tasting a bit like perfume. Maybe deserving of a 2 or 2.5 rating.

Nutter Butter Wafers

    God help me I know these aren’t new, and I may have even had them before, but upon seeing Nutter Butter Wafers in store I was struck by this sudden bout of amnesia/paranoia. Have these always been and no one bothered to tell me? Had they simply slipped my mind? Or had I found myself in another dimension where Nutter Butter’s were given the attention they deserve? Whatever the case these sheets of wafer and peanut butter quickly won me over. While not quite as good as Vortman Wafers these still provide excellent peanut butter taste with a satisfying mouth feel. Plus you can totally pretend each sheet is edible wall insulation. On that novelty alone it earns a 3.5 outta 5.

Lays Wavy Jerk Chicken Potato Chips

    Lay’s unleashed several new potato chip flavors this summer though I’ve been inundated with enough potato snacks that I’ve only managed to sample this one so far. Gotta say if the others are even close to this one than we’re in for a tasty season.

    Packaging is colorful and wild. The scent almost a combo of lite jerky and dare I say fresh vegetables? It actually manages to taste like the exterior of a chicken breast that’s been cooked just after being smothered in dry spices. It’s the damnedest thing but they almost taste healthy which we all know isn’t the case. Definitely not gonna be for everyone but for those who like this sorta thing it’s an easy 4 out of 5.

Ghostbusters Afterlife Cereal

There was a time when movie tie-in cereals weren’t much of a novelty. That is until parents groups and nutritionalists brow beat the world into not having fun. The occasional items pops out however tied to either the newest Disney thing or as a means of tugging at nostalgia, which I can’t help but feel is the case with this new Ghostbuster chow. Can’t deny the box has that eye-catching quality though. Just like the old Real Ghostbuers Cereal this black box just stands out among the sea of brightly colored breakfast fare. As an actual food, well… that’s a little more complicated,

Unlike the OG Ralston stuff that modeled itself after monster cereals, this new Afterlife edition is pretty much a lighter take on Berry Berry Kix with marshmallows thrown in. The smell is bland though not entirely unappealing. Individual pieces are a bit too resistance to milk. Everything’s middle of the road. There’s just not much draw to the cereal itself so much as the joy of having something Ghostbusters themed again. Awsome packaging, ho-hum cereal, 2.5 rating for sure.

Meijer Bell’s Oberon Bratwurst

    In these parts grocery ads use the arrival of Bell’s Oberon beer like it’s the opening shot of basic bro summer. Indeed, every prairie boy around demands an ample supply to fuel Saturday evenings of lawn-work and singing Kid Rock lyrics by the fire. For those of us with taste and ample hobbies Oberon is just an ok beer. That being said it’s regional popularity makes these special beer brats a total no-brainer. As a pork fiend I had to give em a shot though the end result was underwhelming.

    Beer brats are a matter of balance. The wrong choice of beer or a little too much of any one flavor can throw everything off. In this case the oberon lends an off taste to the brat. Like it’s not bad but if you didn’t know any better you’d swear something was wrong with the brat itself. That’s not the kind of sensation you want to elicit with pork products. I’d say this one’s another 2.5 rating.

Little Debbie’s Cosmic Brownies Cereal

    I doubt it would be controversial to declare cosmic brownies sit alongside star crunch as Debbie's weakest offerings. The brands recent success with Oatmeal Cream Pie cereal made this second effort impossible to ignore. Of course it’s fighting an uphill battle against the overwhelming history of chocolate cereals and on that front it doesn’t really stand apart from the pack. The smell came across as stronger than the food itself but the actual taste wasn’t so bad. Everything’s lightly left of regular chocolate which helps to sell the whole brownie vibe. Unfortunately it’s a bit too resistant to milk, keeping the texture rough through the whole bowl. The chocolaty milk leftovers are a total highlight though. Gonna give this one a 3. Not amazing but tasty enough to pass.

On the Boarder Cafe Style Queso Chips

    Imagine, if you will, a world where Doritos understands subtly. That’s the world these lovely treats come from. There’s just enough powder to give me a kick and coat your fingers yet it’s lite enough to keep these as a viable option for nachos. Admittedly my nephew thought they were gross but this guy here is over the moon for em. Accepting their possibly divisive status I’m gonna give a solid 4.

Twelve’s Rebel hard Coffee Berry Crisps Latte

    Sometimes the most interesting thing about a new food item isn’t anything unique to it but the weird memories it brings up. Having a biological make-up that is 40% coffee, 10% candy and 5% hooch makes this sort of thing a must try. As far as adult beverages are concerned it was pretty lousy with the different flavors being at odds with each-other. Whenever it leaned into fruity territory though I got a sudden rush of nostalgia. It took some detective skills but I found it at last, Smilk. A fruity milk drink from that weird part of the 1990s where diary suddenly had to be flavored. Shit was gross but my chubby ten-year-old self loved to fuel up on it. I’d say stay away from this lackluster coffee drink unless you too want to remember the wonders and pitfalls of Smilk.

Bell’s Tropical Oberon

    How many paragraphs ago was it that I noted Oberon as the opiate of basic bros? Well for a brief moment I was counted among their ranks as curiosity forced me to try the new tropical variation. It’s a bit unfair to saddle this honestly better beer with the Oberon title however. I mean Bell’s actually put in a decent showing here. The stuff is cloudy, fruity, and nicely refreshing. Far from my favorite hot-weather beer but good enough for a 3.5 score.

Birthday Cake Pebbles Cereal

    One of the all-time greats turns 50 this year. To celebrate there’s a new variety on shelves meant to evoke the sweetness of birthday cake. In execution however both scent and flavor come across like a riff on the recently demised Rice Krispies Treats Cereal with a couple key differences. For one the greasy taste of that cereal is nowhere to be found. In it’s place is a slight berry flavor which I’d assume is supposed to be the frosting element. While not up to the level of Cocoa or Fruity this one’s still a decent sugar rush worthy of a 3 out of 5/

Frosted Berry Team Cheerios

    In honor of the upcoming Olympic games Cheerios has revived the old Team branding with a new frosted berry combination. Admittedly I’d failed to notice the disappearance of classic Team Cheerios as my primary obsession with the brand are the Maple and Pumpkin Spice varieties. Still I recall team being a damn solid breakfast food and while this one may not be up to the same level, it’s still pretty good. There’s a nice mix of sweet that never becomes overpowering and it manages to stay with you longer than most other cereals. Worthy of a 3.5 at the very (or should I say berry?) least.

Kountry Lane Bakery Raspberry Rolls

    I’ve mentioned in previous articles the pleasure of shopping at Lansing hotspot, Horrocks. While they can sometimes drop the ball I’m always eager to see what new items they can bring my way. Few items better illustrate that feeling then these raspberry rolls from a tiny ass bakery in Indiana. Seriously; these are my new obsession to the extent that I want a whole swath of em in place of birthday cake this year. The dough is clean, airy, and just plain enough to stand in contrast with everything else. The berry goo is just marvelous. Oh and the icing is an absolute toothache. Should you one day find yourself near Horrocks or in Montgomery, IN do yourself a favor and hunt these down. This month’s sole perfect rating of 5 outta 5.

    With that I’ve finally wrapped a blog for this month. Gonna make an honest effort to get back on schedule here. Not tonight though. Tonight calls for video games and plenty of sleep before work

Snack Report: May 2021

 

    Another month brings yet another round of snacks and novelties to consume. Perfect timing too since there’s been plenty of work and the household has been riff with drama of late. We played host to a new doggy for a wee bit and he proved to be something of an ill fit and is on his way to another home that can hopefully work with his particular brand of madness. Another factor making the snack world exciting for yours truly is having a second dose of vaccine. That’s right, I’m now fully equipped to go out and snack hunt in style. Well… two a few more days technically for everything to cement, and yes I will celebrate that mark by returning to an antiques shop with a truly excellent record corner. You all best be getting your shots too, believe me, it feels great to know there’s at least a little defense standing between you and everything else. Enough of dramatics and medical science! it’s time for some food!

Hostess Lemonade Stand Twinkies

    Snack hunters can take a lot of flack for the weird shit they bring home and these lemonade Stand Twinkies earn plenty of side-eye and speculation. Suspicions soon turned around as the fatty cakes turned out to be far different than expected yet in a most pleasing way.

    Presentation’s fairly standard for Hostess. Big, bright box housing chemical-laced cakes. While we expected something more outright lemony on the flavor front the reality was far more subdued. Normally I might consider that a failure but the lite citrus undertone ends up giving each Twinkie a slightly cleaner taste with less of that fatty after-effect. For anyone who hates that lingering lard flavor this is an absolute winner. At the very least I’m giving these a 4 out of 5.

Hostess Smores Cupcakes

    These Smore cupcakes are returning after their first round in 2020 which I totally missed thanks to all the wonders of the pandemic. Other than finally being easy to find I’m not so sure these deserved a second round.

    Hear me out here. These are still decent enough snack cakes with a fairly balanced flavor. Problem is much like the Lemonade Stand Twikies this isn’t a very accurate recreation of smores nor is there any fringe benefit from the light-touch production. Instead you get a vaguely smore-esque snack that’s good enough in a pinch but lacks the necessary punch to really soar. I will at least give some points for the coloration as it still screams fireside treat. Let’s be nice and give em a 3.

Meijer Salted Caramel Peanuts

    Not a ton to say on this one, only fair since it’s available exclusive to the handful of states with Meijer stores. More than likely I would’ve failed to notice em if not for being severely let down by the sight of an empty honey roasted shelf yet again. As someone who enjoys both peanuts and caramel this seemed like an easy pick for pitch-hitter. Unfortunately the caramel aspect is a total failure. Whoever produced these for Meijer just used a caramel powder rather than some kind of coating. The result is that most of that candy flavor rubs off on your hands leaving a slightly off-tasting salted peanut. The peanuts themselves are still pretty good but why bother? 2 out of 5 purely on the strength of the peanuts.

Arbor Brewing Company Trail Lyte Beer

    By and large this is not a lite beer household. If you’re going to do something you may as well go for broke. Still; an adventurous man keeps his options open and I’m rather glad I did. The whole experience is bright, fruity, and truly refreshing meaning it’ll be a shoe-in should we ever actually get a warm night (Spring has been decidedly chilly in these parts).

    The presentation is solid with nice box-art and skinny cans that help denote the whole lite motif. Flavor begins with a clean beer taste followed by solid notes of berry and some citrus. There’s more than enough taste to stand out without getting overpowered or tacky. Not sure how far distribution on this brand stretches out but if you come across some it’s a solid choice for a hot day. Let’s grant em a 4 out of 5.

On the Boarder Homestyle Thick and Crispy tortilla chips

    Here’s another one that doesn’t require much preamble. On The Boarder, a brand whose cafe style tortilla chips already make for some great nachos, decided to put out a thick and crispy variant likely to compete with the likes of Donkey Chips. While not as thoroughly enjoyable as Donkey when plan or dipped these Homestyle chips still make a pretty solid base for nacho consumption. At least a 3 out of 5.

Key Lime Pie Kit-Kat

    A tiny gift from a sibling returning from a road trip, these newest kit-kats were an interesting proposition. The brand has such a wide ratio of success to failure that it’s always tricky to test out their newest flavors. Just looking at this bright green wrapper makes one likely to point a finger at the candy and demand it live up to its potential.

    So what’s the verdict? Oh yeah, these are good. Not only did they nail a proper key lime pie flavor, they somehow kept it reserved enough to seem refreshing instead of overbearing. The entire package was inhaled in mere seconds. A total winner, one of the best kit-kat off-shoots I’ve seen in some time, go grab some while you can and pray they make a return in years to come. Gonna give em a 4.5 rating.

Skittles Gummies Wild Berry

    The first in a trio of items I found at my first trip to Speedway in over a year these Skittles Gummies are something of a dream come true. I’ve loved Skittles of any kind my whole life but there’s always that point when their texture starts to destroy your mouth. That painful reality can now be circumvented by the power of gummies.

    So far only had the chance to dig into the Wild Berry variety but what a knockout. These give the full flavor of Skittles with the comforting, chewy joy of gummy. Hell; they even smell good. Debating it at the moment but this may indeed be worthy of a perfect score of 5.

Hi-Chew Fruit Combos

    Hi-Chew is definitely a love it or hate it kinda candy. Some folks can’t stand the waxy nature of these things or find the flavors too muted. Generally being a fan of them though made me stoked to try these new combo flavors since they include the all-mighty mango. At least theory that is seeing as there were only two mango piece in the entire bag that was otherwise overrun with pina colada.

    Disappointment at the pina colada flood aside these are still some good chewy candy. I’d dare say the cream element in these two flavors comes across better than most of the normal fruit varieties. If you don’t like Hi-Chew then these aren’t gonna change your mind but for those who enjoy em this is a worthwhile spin-off. 3 outta 4. Might be more if they included enough mango.

Mingua Bourbon Beef Jerky

    It’s a rare treat to stumble upon a spindle rack filled with a previously unknown jerky brand yet that night in Speedway offered plenty of options for taking the Mingua brand for a test-drive. I decided to go with a more basic flavor, figuring that a company needs to nail the basics before achieving anything truly marvelous. These guys couldn’t even manage that.

    I can forgive the rustic down home charm of the packaging but the jerky itself seems like something your buddy might create as an experiment. It’s thin, dry, salty, and all-around harsh. This might be a bit cruel but I’m gonna have to give these a 1 out of 5.

Monster Strawberry lemonade Rehab and Pappilion

    With the increase in housebound hours during the pandemic I’ve rarely had a chance to indulge in energy drinks. Spending a portion of one workday entering different Monsters into the register system opened up my eyes to everything I’d been missing. Rest assured the employee discount was utilized immediately in order to bring home these new elixirs.

    Much as I enjoy the Rehab line, much like Rockstar’s Recovery drinks, this newest flavor doesn’t do quite enough to set it apart from the pack. In fact I’m hard pressed to come up with much of a description for it other than light, somewhat fruity, energy drink. It went down well-enough with the energy formula preforming admirably. Sadly there’s just not a whole lot going on here. Maybe deserving of a middle of the road 2.5 rating.

    Pappilion comes out a bit better across the board thanks to excellent presentation and a far more unique taste. The pinky peach can covered in butterflies is quite the looker and the perfume smell puts one in the mood for indulgence. The flavor is in interesting one with aspects of different fruits blending together in a way that feels like springtime thanks to an almost floral aftertaste. It’s a good one for sure. Not absolute top tier material yet good enough to earn a 3.5 or maybe 4.

Brother’s Bond Bourbon

    While out of town to get my second dose of vaccine I was able to visit a damn nice liquor store in order to stock up on a few cough… essentials. While trying to hunt for some items on the grocery list I came across something I thought would be much tougher to find, Brother’s Bond Bourbon. What makes this bottle so special you ask? It’s all in the novelty of this brand belonging to Ian Somerhalder and Paul Wesley, aka the Salvatore brothers of Vampire Diaries fame. In essence this is the semi-official drink of those who love pretty vampires. Novelty will only get you so far however so how’s it hold up as a drink?

    When it comes to the whiskey/scotch/etc arena I’ve the least experience with bourbon so don’t expect a lot of direct comparisons there. Still; I know what I like and Brother’s Bond at least falls within the positive end of that spectrum. Both the smokiness and bite are bolder than I expected yet it still manages to go down fairly smooth. All the burn is delayed however so don’t go acting hard and taking shots without prepping for a screaming throat a few seconds later. There’s a lot of whiskey that I’d pick up before this one, especially in the forty dollar price range, but for those who like a decent sipping bourbon I can see this being a hit. Personally I’ll grant it a 3.5 though I expect others will find it more to their liking.

Doritos 3D

    Yet another revival of an item hailing from that strange period of time when yours truly wasn’t an absolute snack-fiend. Yes indeed, much like Oreo-O’s this sub-line of Doritos never passed my lips back in the day. One might think that would make their return all the more exciting but for whatever reason I’ve been forgetting to pick these up for months now. Perhaps this has something to do with the association of how these are a Doritos take on Bugles, one of the worst snacks ever made.

    Can’t say either flavor, Spicy Ranch or Chili Cheese Nacho, have done much to win me over. On one end I appreciate their spicy nature but neither the flavor nor texture really do a whole lot that other chips already do better. Maybe some different flavors and more powder could help. Otherwise it just felt like a sad reminder that you could be eating actual Doritos instead of these. They’re not a total letdown but I fail to see what they have to offer. Let’s say 2.5 to be nice.

    Did… did I finish? You wouldn’t believe how long this post has taken to complete. Fact is I’ve yet to adjust the writing schedule to the new work schedule, not to mention how selling thousands of dollars in Pokemon product can leave one a bit dead-headed. Still; having a consistent source of income combined with a lovely vaccine means there could be a much wider variety of content coming down the pipeline. We’re approaching a renewed era of freedom my friends. Why mere hours ago I saw the inside of two local joints for the first time in over a year. Anyhow it’s horror movie night so I’m gonna wrap this up and settle in for some much-needed downtime. You all feel free to share in recent snack finds or if you think I’m way of the mark on any of this current crop.