Life of recent has felt like some kind of hallucination. Why just a few months ago it was totally expected of me to stay home, avoid people, and generally do whatever to fill the time. Now I’m working, shopping, just last week I moved furniture out of an abandoned Younkers (details to come). You few faithful readers have undoubtedly noticed this has effected the blogging schedule. To some extent that comes down to simply not having trained myself to reallocate time for it. The other issue comes with articles like today's where enough has happened in a relatively short time that something I ate a week ago feels like some phantom memory. Consider this a warning then that this newest snack report is likely to read more like a stream-of-consciousness exercise than a regular blog post.
Reese’s Big Cup with Pretzels and Reese's Peanut Butter Lovers
Reese’s recently went on a bender, introducing different variations of peanut butter fandom to their fabled candy. There’s one with a half-chocolate outer coating, one with an all peanut butter approach, and a big’n with pretzels. Over the past couple of months I’ve had all three and can safely say meh to the first, yum to the second, and something more complicated for the third. See… the balance for the big cup is simply off. Having such a large cup provides a higher amount of peanut butter without an equal increase in chocolate. Adding to the problem is whatever brand of pretzel they used is just too dry and salty to perfectly blend with the other flavors. It’s not bad but anyone who’s had this sort of thing before know it can be done better. Can’t see any of the three lasting long term. Their alright with peanut butter lovers being the most successful.
Red Bull Summer Edition Dragon Fruit
By this point in time Red Bull is essentially the local tourist trap of the energy drink market, in the sense that it’s always there but you only pay attention to it on special occasions. Since summer is back in swing it’s time for a new seasonal offering laced with the flavor of one of my favorite fruits. There is a good amount of dragon fruit flavor here, with a fairly pleasant smell to match. The problem is that when this is mixed with red bulls energy formula it ends up tasting a bit like perfume. Maybe deserving of a 2 or 2.5 rating.
Nutter Butter Wafers
God help me I know these aren’t new, and I may have even had them before, but upon seeing Nutter Butter Wafers in store I was struck by this sudden bout of amnesia/paranoia. Have these always been and no one bothered to tell me? Had they simply slipped my mind? Or had I found myself in another dimension where Nutter Butter’s were given the attention they deserve? Whatever the case these sheets of wafer and peanut butter quickly won me over. While not quite as good as Vortman Wafers these still provide excellent peanut butter taste with a satisfying mouth feel. Plus you can totally pretend each sheet is edible wall insulation. On that novelty alone it earns a 3.5 outta 5.
Lays Wavy Jerk Chicken Potato Chips
Lay’s unleashed several new potato chip flavors this summer though I’ve been inundated with enough potato snacks that I’ve only managed to sample this one so far. Gotta say if the others are even close to this one than we’re in for a tasty season.
Packaging is colorful and wild. The scent almost a combo of lite jerky and dare I say fresh vegetables? It actually manages to taste like the exterior of a chicken breast that’s been cooked just after being smothered in dry spices. It’s the damnedest thing but they almost taste healthy which we all know isn’t the case. Definitely not gonna be for everyone but for those who like this sorta thing it’s an easy 4 out of 5.
Ghostbusters Afterlife Cereal
There was a time when movie tie-in cereals weren’t much of a novelty. That is until parents groups and nutritionalists brow beat the world into not having fun. The occasional items pops out however tied to either the newest Disney thing or as a means of tugging at nostalgia, which I can’t help but feel is the case with this new Ghostbuster chow. Can’t deny the box has that eye-catching quality though. Just like the old Real Ghostbuers Cereal this black box just stands out among the sea of brightly colored breakfast fare. As an actual food, well… that’s a little more complicated,
Unlike the OG Ralston stuff that modeled itself after monster cereals, this new Afterlife edition is pretty much a lighter take on Berry Berry Kix with marshmallows thrown in. The smell is bland though not entirely unappealing. Individual pieces are a bit too resistance to milk. Everything’s middle of the road. There’s just not much draw to the cereal itself so much as the joy of having something Ghostbusters themed again. Awsome packaging, ho-hum cereal, 2.5 rating for sure.
Meijer Bell’s Oberon Bratwurst
In these parts grocery ads use the arrival of Bell’s Oberon beer like it’s the opening shot of basic bro summer. Indeed, every prairie boy around demands an ample supply to fuel Saturday evenings of lawn-work and singing Kid Rock lyrics by the fire. For those of us with taste and ample hobbies Oberon is just an ok beer. That being said it’s regional popularity makes these special beer brats a total no-brainer. As a pork fiend I had to give em a shot though the end result was underwhelming.
Beer brats are a matter of balance. The wrong choice of beer or a little too much of any one flavor can throw everything off. In this case the oberon lends an off taste to the brat. Like it’s not bad but if you didn’t know any better you’d swear something was wrong with the brat itself. That’s not the kind of sensation you want to elicit with pork products. I’d say this one’s another 2.5 rating.
Little Debbie’s Cosmic Brownies Cereal
I doubt it would be controversial to declare cosmic brownies sit alongside star crunch as Debbie's weakest offerings. The brands recent success with Oatmeal Cream Pie cereal made this second effort impossible to ignore. Of course it’s fighting an uphill battle against the overwhelming history of chocolate cereals and on that front it doesn’t really stand apart from the pack. The smell came across as stronger than the food itself but the actual taste wasn’t so bad. Everything’s lightly left of regular chocolate which helps to sell the whole brownie vibe. Unfortunately it’s a bit too resistant to milk, keeping the texture rough through the whole bowl. The chocolaty milk leftovers are a total highlight though. Gonna give this one a 3. Not amazing but tasty enough to pass.
On the Boarder Cafe Style Queso Chips
Imagine, if you will, a world where Doritos understands subtly. That’s the world these lovely treats come from. There’s just enough powder to give me a kick and coat your fingers yet it’s lite enough to keep these as a viable option for nachos. Admittedly my nephew thought they were gross but this guy here is over the moon for em. Accepting their possibly divisive status I’m gonna give a solid 4.
Twelve’s Rebel hard Coffee Berry Crisps Latte
Sometimes the most interesting thing about a new food item isn’t anything unique to it but the weird memories it brings up. Having a biological make-up that is 40% coffee, 10% candy and 5% hooch makes this sort of thing a must try. As far as adult beverages are concerned it was pretty lousy with the different flavors being at odds with each-other. Whenever it leaned into fruity territory though I got a sudden rush of nostalgia. It took some detective skills but I found it at last, Smilk. A fruity milk drink from that weird part of the 1990s where diary suddenly had to be flavored. Shit was gross but my chubby ten-year-old self loved to fuel up on it. I’d say stay away from this lackluster coffee drink unless you too want to remember the wonders and pitfalls of Smilk.
Bell’s Tropical Oberon
How many paragraphs ago was it that I noted Oberon as the opiate of basic bros? Well for a brief moment I was counted among their ranks as curiosity forced me to try the new tropical variation. It’s a bit unfair to saddle this honestly better beer with the Oberon title however. I mean Bell’s actually put in a decent showing here. The stuff is cloudy, fruity, and nicely refreshing. Far from my favorite hot-weather beer but good enough for a 3.5 score.
Birthday Cake Pebbles Cereal
One of the all-time greats turns 50 this year. To celebrate there’s a new variety on shelves meant to evoke the sweetness of birthday cake. In execution however both scent and flavor come across like a riff on the recently demised Rice Krispies Treats Cereal with a couple key differences. For one the greasy taste of that cereal is nowhere to be found. In it’s place is a slight berry flavor which I’d assume is supposed to be the frosting element. While not up to the level of Cocoa or Fruity this one’s still a decent sugar rush worthy of a 3 out of 5/
Frosted Berry Team Cheerios
In honor of the upcoming Olympic games Cheerios has revived the old Team branding with a new frosted berry combination. Admittedly I’d failed to notice the disappearance of classic Team Cheerios as my primary obsession with the brand are the Maple and Pumpkin Spice varieties. Still I recall team being a damn solid breakfast food and while this one may not be up to the same level, it’s still pretty good. There’s a nice mix of sweet that never becomes overpowering and it manages to stay with you longer than most other cereals. Worthy of a 3.5 at the very (or should I say berry?) least.
Kountry Lane Bakery Raspberry Rolls
I’ve mentioned in previous articles the pleasure of shopping at Lansing hotspot, Horrocks. While they can sometimes drop the ball I’m always eager to see what new items they can bring my way. Few items better illustrate that feeling then these raspberry rolls from a tiny ass bakery in Indiana. Seriously; these are my new obsession to the extent that I want a whole swath of em in place of birthday cake this year. The dough is clean, airy, and just plain enough to stand in contrast with everything else. The berry goo is just marvelous. Oh and the icing is an absolute toothache. Should you one day find yourself near Horrocks or in Montgomery, IN do yourself a favor and hunt these down. This month’s sole perfect rating of 5 outta 5.
With that I’ve finally wrapped a blog for this month. Gonna make an honest effort to get back on schedule here. Not tonight though. Tonight calls for video games and plenty of sleep before work
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