Monday, January 13, 2014

Winter Storm Number...I Forget.

Anyone reading will have to forgive this article for being a bit scatterbrained. Frankly the proper tense usage has been lost to it being altered and added to over the course of the whole week. At the very least there is the pervasive theme of almost Lovecraftian weather.
Yeah, Winter storm Ion has sat its' hefty white ass down upon the state of Michigan like the proverbial toilet it is. Whereas the last storm preferred thick sheets of ice, this time it's mounds of snow taller than my dogs combined with below zero temperatures. Honestly, I never expected weather to be a recurring topic for this site yet this winter seems dead set on resembling every exterior shot from The Thing. Don't believe me? Just take a gander at this.
The majority of snowfall came in on Sunday which also marked a friends' birthday. I've learned that it's usually better to leave the more personal stuff out of blogs so let's just keep to a simple reminder. We had what was essentially a private screening of Anchorman 2 in the local tiny theater which was playing it on a film projector. It's been a few year since I last watched a flick projected this way. With the deadline for all digital projectors coming up soon, this could very well be the last time I see a movie this way so the intimate experience of it just being us few friends was definitely the right way to send out the format.
The other things of note that night were a dinner obtained through the nearby shell station, a game of King of Tokyo, a stellar walk home in the midst of the blizzard, and one mighty barbarian leap into a snow bank which nearly got me stuck in place.
Monday was the embodiment of the waiting game. Temperatures took a dive well into the sea of negative numbers making staying indoors the only real option for the day. Of course that didn't stop me and mine from venturing out to see gas stations that had bagged up their freezing pumps. While out in the frozen wastes we managed to pick up some taco bell and doughnuts to make life a tad merrier.
Tuesday brought a nasty surprise in that a person I dog sit for slipped on some of this frozen horror show and injured themselves. Subsequently; a great deal of this article is being written at her house in an attempt to pass the time while I keep an eye on the dog. Honestly it reminds me of college except that instead of rooming with a strange smelling guy from Taiwan, I'm paired with a mopey corgi.
I'll never understand what it is that makes living in someone elses' place so difficult. While dog-sitting I had the same range of activities available to me that I do at home, but as I could never get 100% comfortable there's always that weird strain on both mind and body. There's a special range of survival skills required to deal with that kind of situation. My method was to reconnect with my inner sloth. That guy who just sits glassy eyed in front of a Tales from the Darkside marathon whilst cramming cheese crackers into his maw only to be amazed at how many landed on his shirt. It's been a while since I fully indulged that guy but it was required to make it through all three days.
Friday morning allowed me to finally return home where I showered, shaved, crapped, devoured bagels, etc, before leaping into my clean bed and spinning like an alligator during a death roll...or is that crocodile? My joy centers where so engorged that is was nearly impossible to think. I swear I could feel ideas forming at the back of my mind only to collide with this wall of contentment like a bird slamming into a clean window. I spent the entire day in that manner. Honestly it's a great feeling to remember how much you love your own little spot and the stuff you keep in it.
Yet another Sunday. Just one week after mother nature buried us up to our ass in frosty hell, the temps are high and the snow's been melting away. My group ended up at an Asian Buffet wherein I set my new record for most types of animals consumed in the same meal. The magic number was nine. One of these was my first ever frog leg. It's tasty.....just not as tasty as alligator.

Thous concludes the tale of one of the oddest weeks I've had for a while. Next time we'll get away from this slice of life nonsense and back into snack foods, horror movies, and board games. Here's a little teaser for you. I had a beef jerkey chocolate bar......I wouldn't recommend it. Ta!

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