Wednesday, January 29, 2014

I which I Attack the Soda Shaq

Saturday was one of the few days where it was actually warm enough, if you consider twenty degrees to be warm, to be out and about. On my return home I was greated with a small gift. Behold!
Yeah folks. In case you weren't aware, Kazam has his own soda. Four of them in fact. My brother-in-law nabbed the entire line from the nearest 7-eleven and since the weather has returned to a nightmarish chill I've spent my last few days incarcerated with few ways to better spend my time than drowning in cream soda. Before we get to the individual write-ups I oughta note two things. First is that these come in the traditional Arizona tea cans which while great for the regular teas and tonics, provides way to much soda to go through in a single sitting without feeling the onset of a diabetic coma. Unlike regular Arizona drinks these are actually made with sugar and honey in place of corn-syrup, so they've got the semi-healthy angle going for them too.

Round 1: Cream Soda.

I figured it'd be best to clear out the most basic entry first and I must say it didn't set a good tone for the its' brothers. Everyone expects a nice smooth and sweet drink from cream soda but this stuff is harsh and bitey almost more like a cola. I didn't found it outright gross but it's almost a complete failure at what it's supposed to be. Hard to believe that a pitch-man for the icy hot back patch would sully his name with such an inferior product (internet sarcasm). Still; at least the sugar/honey combo within the can provided me with the giddy energy I needed for my triple feature of Sleepwalkers, The Willies (definitely doing a feature on this one), and the Nest which made for possibly the best night of viewing I've had so far this year.

Round 2: Blueberry Cream Soda.

It's not a secret that I maintain a veracious love affair with anything even lightly affiliated with blueberries. Under the right circumstances, I might even eat a blueberry scented candle. Surely there was no way that someone could possibly screw up a drink like this for me.....or could they? Alright; it's not as weak as the basic cream soda but this completely fails to live up to it's potential. Opening the can unleashed an almost heavenly smell but upon actually taking a drink it was just the same gross cream soda with a thin layer of berries to help lift it out of oblivion. I think I'm more offended by this one as it should have easily been my favorite rather than a sad footnote in a blog entry.

Round 3: Strawberry Cream Soda.

Finally! They got something right! Basically what you're getting here is strawberry shortcake in a can. It still fails as a cream soda but the strawberry flavoring for this one was actually strong enough to make something good. However; the damn can size is still an issue. Even with as much as I liked this one I got tired of drinking it around the halfway point. Sure you can put in the fridge and come back to it later but then you're stuck with flat shortcake water. Still; the sweet refreshing flavor makes this the only can of shaq-fu that I might seek out again. Consider that to be spoilers for the last one.

Final Round: Orange Cream Soda.

You couldn't ask for a more classic flavor combination than orange and cream. With the good will this line-up earned with strawberry I was willing to believe in this one but it just didn't work out for me, though I will note my sister seemed to think it was good so maybe I'm just off on it. Actually it reminds me of the orange creamsavers they used to make years ago. It has that same kind of medicinal flavor as those old candies, so if anyone has been looking to recreate that experience give these a try. All others can easily find better orange-cream drinks floating around.

Tomorrow is supposed to mark a return to somewhat normal temperatures for my area which means I can catch up on some exorcise instead of staring out the window, spooning peanut butter into my waiting maw. Since this is most likely my last entry for the month, I'll leave you with this confounding image. Ta!

No comments:

Post a Comment