February, a month whose name is best spoken with a light shudder and “the” before it. It takes on many forms but in Michigan all those forms are something of a trial. This years model is that of frigid snowstorm. On the plus side such weather makes for very entertaining walks and pretty scenery. On the downside my house is freezing and there’s the occasional odd event like random drunks asking to come in and warm up at two in the morning. Frankly it’s the perfect time to settle in and gorge on foodstuffs so how about we kick off a snack report?
Cheetos Crunch Pop Mix
Several of the items in this report are just slight revisions to existing items rather than whole new products. Few of them are more obvious then Cheetos Pop Crunch Mix which simply takes regular Cheetos along with the brands pop corn and puts em conveniently in the same bag. It may not be an innovative product but boy howdy it sure is tasty.
Interesting fact about geographic foodstuffs. Anybody that lives in the great lakes out to New England has easy access to better cheesy snack brands like Better Made, CK, or Herrs’. That’s a big part of the reason I rarely bother with Cheetos since most of their output, save for perhaps a few specialty puffs, simply can’t compete. By putting the popcorn and regular curls together they’ve made it so both items pack up the slack for the other actually making this a viable snacking option.
One tip to keep in mind when approaching the mix is that the regular Cheetos have a tendency to sink towards the bottom so the occasional shake or stir isn’t out of the question. Once you get going though the combo is so nice save for maybe a few folks who won’t like the texture. This is a softer pop corn variety which pairs rather uniquely with the crunchy stuff in a way that might not work for everyone. For cheese snacks fiends however I can see this becoming the only Cheetos item worth the money. Lack of innovation aside these are at least a four outta five.
Retro Recipe Golden Grahams
Another slight alteration is this entry in General Mills recent retro line which returns some cereal back to their older formulas or brings back cosmetic factors, etc. I’ve not seen much of the line hit stores and believe me I’ve been primed since I’ve missed those damn fruity shaped Trix pieces. Right now I’ll simply have to entertain myself with the return of honey to the Golden Grahams recipe.
Unlike other cereals that changed their formulas over the years to diminished returns, Golden Grahams always managed to stay tasty. It’s been long enough since my last bowl of the stuff that I really couldn’t tell you if the old recipe makes that much of a difference though. On the plus side that means both those who wanted the old formula and those who’ve only known the newer one should both be satisfied cause GG has always been damn good. Nothing to complain about here really, though I could get catty about the lackluster attempt at retro packaging. Still a titan of the creal aisle so let’s give it a four out of five.
Lady Gaga Oreo
Yet another quiet footstep in brand expansion are Lady Gaga Oreos. Fresh off the trio of new flavors like Java Chip and Brookie-O these seem downright quaint. In essence these are just basic Oreos, the golden variety I believe, served up in obnoxious colors and designs. Can’t say as I understand much of anything about the presentation since Gaga ain’t my jam but they’re unique looking.
Whether it’s a legitimate thing or just the psychological effect these bright colors do seem to offer a slight twist to the normal flavor. Nothing spectacular but I can use em to fill the gap of those hazelnut Oreos that I can never eat. Gaga fans are likely to get a bigger kick out of em and since it’s Oreo it still tastes good. Gotta give props for the odd joy if finding bits of neon green crème on your fingers. Maybe a three and a half out of five.
Lemon Groove Pop Tarts
At last something totally new, a wild swing for the fences to set the mood for longer days and the slow approach of Spring & opportunity. Am I putting a little too much weight on the crumbly shoulders of these breakfast pastries? Possibly. When dealing with pink lemonade flavored toaster pastries one may as well dream big.
On the presentation front these are quite nice. Not only are they the sort of pop tart with graphic designs in the frosting but the pink goo and tie-dyed box link everything together in a colorful spring feeling. Scent wise there’s not much of anything to separate these from any other tart so no worries about an astringent pissy smell.
Believe it or not the flavor is actually quite the success story. They managed to recreate a proper pink lemonade flavor without things getting too bitey or icky tasting. If anything the pucker element of lemonade is reined in almost too far in favor of sweet. Still it tastes bright, snappy, and just a bit pink. I found some of them a little lacking on the amount of frosting. Could simply be a manufacturing issue but for those who obsess on the frosting it’s an important detail.
Pop Tarts came out with a real winner this time. These are bright and cheery in both appearance and flavor, never becoming too sweet or overbearing. I’m gonna give em at least a four if not a four & a half outta five.
Coke with Coffee Dark Blend
In a wholly different category we have something of a resurrection that I’ve been looking forward too for a very long time. For a brief speck of time on this miserable dirt pile there was a magical elixir called Coke Blak. The bastard chemical offspring of cola and coffee came in a stylish dark bottle and tasted like heaven. At least that’s how some of us viewed it. I hear there are many haters of Blak but as I will not suffer fools I’ve turned a deaf ear to their cries. Ever since it went away in 2008 I’ve awaited Blak’s return not even bothering with homemade attempts recreation attempts as they would surely fail to provide the proper experience. So when Coke announced a return to coffee and cola duets I was giddy as could be but could this ever hope to live up to my memories of a lost liquid love affair?
It should go without saying that an unbiased comparison to Blak is basically impossible after all these years. Not like there’s a bottle just lying around. I tried to keep an open mind at the store and picked up the dark blend variety of new Coke with Coffee as I thought it’d be the closest to the original. Taking my first swing something felt amiss but since I’m dealing with the ghost of a sensation I hit the net for some facts. Sure enough the recipe for Coke with Coffee, while similar to Blak, is not exactly the same. For example the old stuff used coffee extract whereas this one uses coffee powder. These little alterations add up to a flavor that isn’t as blended as the one I remember. Memory recalls Blak as being a smooth combination of the two parts while this is starts off like coke before shifting to coffee. The scent is likewise non-committal though that part actually does remind me of Blak.
I’ve seen a number of folks online complain about this new line being too sugary or leaving you with a post-caffeine drop. As for the truth of these claims I’m honestly not the best person to ask. Caffeine merely keeps me alive and sugar rarely leaves me in the dumps save for the most poorly balanced of energy drinks. I had my second can during a sleeply spell and it honestly helped me perk back up without ill-effects.
So this is a difficult one, taking at least two cans to make up my mind. I don’t hate it and I’m definitely gonna check out the other two varieties, Vanilla and Caramel. Whether it actually fails to capture that old Blak magic or if my tastes have simply changed who knows. It’s not quite up to that level of quality and everybody else in my house thinks this stuff is nasty. Given the other varieties we’ll come back to this topic later on. For now I’d give this dark blend maybe two and a half out of five.
That’s all for tonight my dearies. Gotta figure out if I’m brave enough to face the cold for my nightly walk and work on more Kingdom Hearts, don’t be surprised if you see something on that front down the road. Otherwise I advise you all to stay warm and well fed.
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