The dawning of a new year is meant to
signify change and growth which is a notion food companies take quite
liberally in regards to our waistlines. Very much like last January
the stores are being flooded with a bevy of new snacks, drinks, and
cereals intended to help us ward off the winter doldrums. The
downside is that seasonal depression is often replaced by food fans
irritation at not being able to find the newest delicacies though I’m
happy to report this current crop is a good deal easier to track
down. As a matter of fact I'm having such an easy tie tracking these
goodies down that there's actually a bit too much for one post. Guess
that means there's no time to dawdle so on with the snacks!
Jolly Rancher Cereal
Let’s just go ahead and get the
extra weird item outta the way first. Candy based breakfast cereals
are a tough nut to crack. Most I’ve encountered, like Sour Patch
Kids, simply aren’t good enough to serve as more than a slight
diversion. Even so; when giving the choice between Jolly Rancher and
Hershey Kisses cereal I had to go with the sheer novelty of something
based on fruity hard candy
Right off the bat this doesn't totally
smell like its namesake, if anything the scent is much cleaner.
Sniffing provides a pleasant sensation at least with the combo of
fruit and that bit of tanginess the brand is known for. As for the
eating experience... imagine if Crunch Berries and Trix were the
victims of some sort of twisted breeding experiment. I really think
these would be in that same wheelhouse if not for the final touch.
They’ve been smushed down to a point that makes them extra dense
and almost a little chewy. To finish it off they are given some sort
of coating that provides the same sticky, never quite dry sensation
of a true jolly rancher. The flavor is very odd, almost sour yet
still sweet enough to tempt you into another bite. The eating
experience is a real brain-twister as everything is both boringly
familiar and at the same time refreshingly different.
This is a tough call for sure. I can
imagine a good number of people hating this cereal for the bizarre
texture and uneven flavor. At the same time I can't help but applaud
it for doing the impossible and successfully converting Jolly Rancher
into a breakfast food. At the very least I'll enjoy eating a few
bowls though I don't I have the strength to finish this family sized
box. Gonna score this around 2.5 out of 5.
Mystery Flavor Galactic Gushers
Jumping on the mystery flavor
bandwagon usually reserved for soda and Oreo cookies Gushers has
actually churned out something new. What a refreshing surprise for
someone who rarely gets a chance to return to this brand. Obviously
we can skip most of the formalities like scent as I'm sure you're all
accustomed to the ways of Gushers (or is this when I discover my
audience is comprised of sheltered vegans?).
So there are three flavors on tap with
only one being a mystery. First up is apple which very much fits the
mold of classic green apple candy taste. Berry is likewise very
strong and sweet. So what about the mystery flavor? Well I have some
suspicions but whatever it turns out to be the flavor has a certain
dankness to it much like darker fruits such as Cranberry or
Pomegranate. I can't quite put my finger on it but whatever it is the
whole trio makes for a very strong assortment of tastes. Plus the
packaging is pretty spiffy. However I must demote points for having
at least one gushless piece in each baggy so far. Think I'll give
these a 3 out of 5 since they would benefit from more flavors.
Cheetos Cheddar Popcorn
Enough talk of candy let’s talk
about something salty like Cheetos revised plan to invade the popcorn
market. I say revised as Chester's Cheddar Popcorn has been around
for ages. Still; I'm glad to see the company branching out as they've
fallen way behind other crunchy cheese snacks with the likes of CK,
Better Made, and Hawkins towering over Chester Cheetah As one would
figure this new variety is just straight-up popcorn coated with
Cheeto powder and… my god… I sorta love it.
Now don’t go thinking this is a
total slam-dunk. The popcorn itself is a few steps below higher-grade
brands like Indiana Popcorn and I've seen some people online
complaining about a lack of powder, which is odd as my bag was crazy
cheesy. That overdose of orange powder combined with the overall
trashy mouth-feel made for that rare event when a technically new
product gives a blast of nostalgia. Suddenly I was a fat ten-year-old
watching Monstervision in my Pepsi fold out chair. Another sudden
development was finding myself two-thirds of the way through this
bag. Definitely not the most original product and not something that
will wow a ton of folks but I enjoyed the hell out of it. When rating
it for everyone though, let's go with 3.5 out of 5.
Hostess Dark Chocolate Raspberry
Cupcakes
Valentine's Day is on the way. Along
with the usual questions of why none of us have a date (cause I never
ask anyone) comes a parade of fatty cakes to sooth our wounded egos.
To that end Hostess has released new Dark Chocolate Raspberry
Cupcakes, raspberries are a recurring element to this years
Valentine's snack crop by the way.
Getting one thing out of the way these
have the same glob of chemicals aspect that characterizes the entire
Hostess line. While these are a little cleaner tasting than some of
their other products I doubt it's enough for those who simply hate
the brand. As for those of us who love our atomic age snack cakes
this is a nifty treat.
Beginning with the scent there is a
nice hint of raspberry but it's nothing overwhelming, taking a bite
offers a nice moist and dank chocolate combined with a smooth fruit
flavor. Nothing groundbreaking here just a solid cake that pairs
nicely with dark coffee. It's deserving of at least a 3.5, if not a 4
out of 5.
Doritos Cool Ranch (with extra Ranch
flavor)
A tiny fad for this years snack
releases are extra versions of per-existing goodies. Cheez-Its has
three different takes on the subject already but Doritos decided to
stick with just one by adding more ranch flavor to classic Cool Ranch
chips.
Admittedly I’ve never been the
biggest fan of Cool Ranch as it just seems so limp in comparison to
the other flavors, all of which bow to the might of Spicy Sweet
Chilli. Turns out adding a lot more powder to the mix helps
immensely. For those that prefer the lighter edge of this flavor this
new style may not sit well, please let me know your thoughts. Plus
I've no clue if this is meant to be a permanent development or
something short-term. For those of us that prefer our chips to be
overbearing this is a saving grace that puts all flavors on more even
footing, save for the godly Spicy Sweat Chilli. It's Doritios, it's
classic, and frankly I find it to be an improvement so... 4 out of 5.
Fudge Covered Dark Chocolate Oreo
Oreo has a trio of new offerings this
month none of which are all that crazy. Only one has had the courage
to cross my path thus far and that is the Fudge Covered Dark
Chocolate variety. You can probably deduce some of the details about
these all on your own as they look and smell like an extra dark Oreo
smothered in fudge. Question is whether they're any good. The answer:
oh hell yeah! Our package didn't survive the night since no one could
resist the allure of these thick, chocolaty abominations. The seize
of each cookie is impressive thanks to the shell of fudge and... I'm
finding myself craving some right now. I've seen a couple posts
throwing shade at these but I think this are good enough to earn a
permanent role in the Oreo line-up. At the least I give em 4.5 out of
5.
Eggo Blueberry Waffle Cereal
One of far too many junk foods that
escaped my attention in the days before blogging, Eggo cereal has
made a return to shelves. The primary maple syrup flavor is the
returning champ but instead of reissuing the Cinnamon Toast variant
Kellogg's decided to bring out a new blueberry version. As someone
with a massive weakness for anything blueberry this was the Eggo
cereal to bring home.
During my years of writing about junk
food there have been a number of cereal boxes that have gone to waste
as I can only hold so much interest in some of the lesser offerings.
This wasn't the case at all when it came to Eggo which I scarfed down
quite quickly thanks to it essentially being an improved version of
Honey Comb. I mean I like Honey Comb but this has a much more
satisfying texture and that blueberry flavor is just a delight. The
only area where it might come up short is smell as it lacks the lite,
comforting scent of HC. I highly recommend trying a box of Eggo
Blueberry Waffle Cereal. It's not an absolute top tier cereal but
it's close. At the very least it earns a 4 outta 5.
That's enough empty calories for
today. I should be back in a day or two with another Sentai review
followed by another round of new treats, my pantry is full I tell ya.
Keep an eye open for those updates and lemme know what recent foods
have gotten your attention latel
No comments:
Post a Comment