We're currently in the home stretch of
Halloween with less than two weeks before the big day. This is often
the time when many folks begin to either panic that there isn't
enough time left to enjoy, or those sad few who decide not to even
bother. Things can begin to feel a bit off with stores already
shoving pumpkins and black cats off the shelves to make way for trees
and reindeer yet this is usually when the most outright Halloweeny
antics occur. These are the days when you visit haunted houses, throw
together a costume, and bust out the extra spiffy decorations that
couldn't be left out the whole month long. It also means I've still
got a stash of topics to cover in short-order. Which means it's time
for a sampler of candy and snack reviews along with some goings-on
and decorating tips from the CosmicSparky household.
One of my big to-dos this year was to
build and improve on some of my decorations, a major one being the
pvc mannequins I made years ago. The two of them have seen spotty
usage at best due to the difficulty of keeping them upright in a
windy neighborhood. rebar was too weak while some of my largest
ground stakes require surveys to properly place. So this year I
finally pieced together some stands so these monsters can be upwardly
mobile and spend time hanging out on the front porch.
For anyone who's never attempted to
make one of these mannequins the basics aren't too difficult. Don't
expect detailed instructions as there are better sources for such
things and I'm one shady handyman. You need some PVC pipes (2/3 sized
in this case) with enough joints and bends to create a human shape.
This is where a lot of customization can come into play with some
folks sticking to straightforward design while others use articulated
joints which essentially makes a giant action figure. The level of
detail depends on what you want to do and how much additional support
you may need for factors like wind. In the future I plan on including
stronger pelvises to reduce tipping. For a base you'll need a nice
flat board, say a 2x10 along with floor flanges and at least six inch
nipples to slide into the PVC legs. Craftsmanship sure is pervy ain't
it? Girth can be added to the mannequins via chicken wire, old
newspaper, or taping a bunch of plastic bags around core areas. Then
you dress the beasts using items like packaging tape and clothing
pins to keep their paints up and supply a head roped with a mask.
Some use actual foam heads whereas my broke ass uses milk jugs.
Since I'd be leaving them out longer
than normal I wasn't so keen on using my own cloths. Luckily I came
across some cheap prom tuxes at a thrift store which means my ghouls
are positively styling as they guard the front porch. So far the
results have been stellar with a couple people being spooked by them
and my cat having a spasm while running to meet me as he found
himself suddenly next to a Frankenstein monster.
Let's move over to candy for a spell.
Zombie Skittles are one of the easier snacks to find this year which
resulted in them sitting in my candy stash for over a month before
digging in. The other reason for the delay was getting the right
group setting going cause, let's face it, the candy version of
Russian Roulette is meant to be shared. At least a dangerous game of
chance is how these are advertised given the existence of random
rotten zombie flavored Skittles. In truth the zombie ones failed to
live up to their threat level to the point that I was unsure if mine
was zombiefied or not. Much as I was expecting these to be a full-on
stunt like what Jones Soda used to do for Thanksgiving they turned
out to be fairly tasty candy that occasionally dips into being kinda
gross. If you've been holding off for fear of zombie flavor I assure
you the other flavors are good enough to be worth your time. One
factor I do take issue with is the packaging. Out of all the spooky
designs and colors to choose from, boring silver doesn't scream fun
spooky candy.
Despite my earlier warning not always
follow my handyman instructions I'd like to share two of my best tips
from years of going overboard. First is zip ties. Whether you're
hanging, framing, or reinforcing these babies provide strength and
leave room for adjustments. Better yet is the added security that
comes with a good zip tie. Few folks walk around with the proper
tools to undue them nor do they want to stand in the open or
potentially break their ill-gotten prize. Second are pegboard hooks.
Each of these is worth several of the weakling stakes that regularly
accompany decorations. There are a number of items in the yard that
lean or tip when left to standard stakes but pegboards have enough
weight and bend to keep them dug in deep. If you're the kind who
finds themselves customizing or reinforcing gravestones and fences
you can save so much maintenance with just a handful of these
lovelies.
Returning to food we must talk about
Ultimate Cheddar Doritos. Upon first inspection there is absolutely
nothing to suggest these chips have anything to do with Halloween.
Let's be real though, these may be the perfect holiday snack. Think
about it, everybody loves a good chip during a celebration,
overbearing cheese flavor is one of the greatest sensations known to
mankind, and orange is the official color of the season, and I assure
you few things are as orange as this bag and its contents. Blessed
with an extra thick coating of cheese powder these exist as the
meeting point between Doritos and a more potent cheese cracker. The
result is so rich it's almost criminal. My Doritos adoring nephew
actually thought these were a little gross but there's no hesitation
on my part. Should I be so lucky as to find another bag before
Halloween, very hard to find so far, I will save it for the 31st.
While adulthood brings a fair share of
awful with it there are still some perks like spooky beer that almost
worth the frustration. Thus far I've seen little in the way of new
pumpkin ales though the constant onslaught of craft beer has lead to
a few drinks that match the season despite being regular offerings.
Southern Tier's Cold Press Coffee Pumpking is a returning flavor that
kicks like a mule. Traditional Pumpking is essentially pumpkin pie in
a bottle but the addition of coffee makes for one dank drink that
practically stripes your mouth. Not a fan of the overwhelming
selection of IPA's out there but Batsquach from Rogue brewing company
managed to win me over by using fruit juice to offset the usual IPA
doldrums. Really tasty stuff on its own which only gets better with
can art good enough to be a decoration. Finally there's Violin
Monster from Arbor Brewing Company. I believe this is named in
respect of a Ann Arbor resident who plays the instrument while
wearing a werewolf costume. If so the lad should feel honored with
this incredibly dark and strong concoction. This stuff is
nine-and-a-half percent alcohol and is so dark it nearly swallows all
ambient light. Highly recommend just so long as you're careful with
it.
Last year I missed out on the
fireworks following the last home game of the season. Granted that
was due to me helping a local game store and nabbing some nice
store-credit in the process but the ability to hang out in my own
backyard for a free fireworks show was all the sweater this year. One
couldn't have asked for a better night with temps in the fifties
along with minimal clouds and only a weak breeze. So much about
holidays can change based on where you live. I may not have the
advantage of nearby parades or parties, haven't even been to a Spirit
store, but there's some real comfort in being able to stand in the
backyard wearing an old-man robe and knocking back scotch on a late
October night while fireworks are reflected in the quarry pond. For
as much as our holidays consist of shared experiences it's always
good to savor those bits that are just for us.
Guess that's enough aimless
affirmations for one post. In case you couldn't guess, I've been a
bit scatterbrained fitting in as much as possible before the season
is out. As always I want to remind you all out there that it's
impossible to fit in everything but it's important to just do what
you can. Maybe you only have enough time for a walk through the park
and carving a single pumpkin. That's aces and you shouldn't feel
sorry for it. The point of a holiday is to break out of our normal
cycle even if just for a couple hours. If need be then live
vicariously through others. I plan to help you do just that with a
few more posts to come before the month is out.
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