September is here at last, dear
readers. The beginning of the Halloween season has hit and I'm in the
mood for boogeymen, pumpkin spice, and chilly weather. While the
weather portion requires a few more weeks to hit proper stride,
there's nothing stopping us from kicking things into gear. And what
better way to do that than with an educational tome from the 1970's?
No, seriously just take a gander at this mess.
During our grand house cleaning
project (still in progress) my sister dug out The Rainbow Dictionary
for Young Read Readers by Wendell W. Wright. It only took a few pages
to realize that we'd stumbled across the answer to the question “what
if David Lynch wrote a children novel?” I knew there was some
massive potential for an article within these pages but it wasn't
until I'd started snapping photos that I realized this book is a gift
that just keeps giving. I was up to something like picture fifteen by
the time I'd reached the letter D. Nearly every page astounds with
profoundly odd writing. It all reads like a serial killer's stream of
conscious. Or perhaps one of those psychic medium free writing
exercises.
Throughout most of the book, the
examples alone are off putting and strangely worded. Almost any shot
will suffice here so let's go with.....
"Jack is going to play he is a clown." Who the fuck says something like that? "If Bobby is tired, he will behave like a bad boy." What the hell is that about? On top of being downright creepy it's somewhat misleading. Like is Bobby actually going to be a brat or just pretend to be one? It
doesn't stop there, as odd quotations are scattered around as well.
And if that wasn't enough for ya, the
illustrations stand a good chance of haunting your dreams.
What kind of baby is that!? It's like
someone perched an albinos head atop a sleeping bag!
Page after page continue in such a
manner, providing nearly endless entertainment. It's the kind of item
when finds in the attack of any haunted house. Speaking of which, I
promised you guys the start of Halloween entries, and this book
serves that need as well.
I love the idea of those kids spending
their entire Halloween knocking on Mike's door. Guy probably isn't
even home but nothing will stop these denizens of terror from rapping
on the door.
It's kind of amazing that for as much
as I want to wright about this book, I'm at a total loss when it
comes to actually doing so. It's all nuts and that was just what I
needed to get me in the spirit of things. August was a total drag
around here but now is where guy's like me start feeling invincible.
For the next few months there's more adventure and mystery to every
aspect of life and I intend to provide you all with some fine entries
to make the season just that extra bit better.
Yes there will still be a lot of the
normal features like Ninninger recaps, show & tell, and some
unboxings as skipping last month has left me craving another mystery
box. Everything's gonna have some seasonal touches to it though and
I've already got some special entries waiting in the wings. God,
there's so much more I wanna do with this post but I'm just so
excited to get the season started. Plus I have to get to sleep sometime
this morning.
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