Thursday, April 17, 2014

Peeps Ahoy!

Hipity Hopity Easter's on its way! And with comes a new wave of the candy it inspired. OK, peeps aren't contained strictly to spring time like they were when I was a wee one. Of course when I was a wee one we only had the choice of colors and which of the two animal shapes we wanted to bite the heads off of. Nowadays we’re a little wiser with more types of peep than pepsi. One of the highlights of March (yes this is a lil behind) for me was diving into not one, not two, but five new varieties. Note that the first three were already lightly touched on in a previous article. I'd actually forgotten that until 30 seconds ago and there's no way I'm trashing this article.
Blue Raspberry
Odd educational note. Did you know that the flavor we attribute with blue raspberry is from something called a whitebark raspberry? Yes I actually took the time to study something for a post about candy so don't say I never taught you anything. I've never been big on the blue raz but for anyone who is, this is one of the strongest examples of the formula. These bastards got kick like solid lumps of toilet bowl cleaner. And the smell! Something consistent across all these new flavors is a smell that could raise the dead. Now for the confusing part. Even with all of my complaints I still kinda like these things. The eating experience is so overpowering it makes one happy to be alive when it's over.

  Remember the old people that gave out the really dusty and stiff bubblegum every Halloween. The stuff always looked like it'd been sitting around since the days of olde (legitimately old enough to be spelled with an e). Somebody took all those tossed aside piece of pink goo, gave em a rinse and turned em into marshmallows. Being someone who actually enjoyed swallowing their gum as a kid these are just a lovely trip down memory lane. For this first group of flavors I'm giving this one top honors.

  Sour Watermelon
Despite the name these are nowhere near as sour as blue raspberry but don't let that chase you away. They can still be fun, they still know what the teenagers are into. Really it's more of a stingy creamy thing than other candies of this ilk. I have to admit I'm relieved since the idea of all watermelon candy being sour makes zero sense to anyone who knows what watermelons are. Oh and let's not forget the towering heights of stank which eventually got combined in the same bag with the aforementioned flavors. The resulting scent is something I'm sure was listed in a book of dark alchemy. Out of these first three flavors this one comes in a comfy second.

About a week after the batch of flavors from Wal-Mart I found myself wondering the aisles of Target only to come across even more new peeps. These two are part of the 3-pack line which has provided us with wonders like chocolate dipped sugar cookie to urinal cake....err sweet lemonade. Still; when one is looking down the barrel of an otherwise event-less Saturday the risks of bad candy are worth taking.
Orange Cream and Strawberry Cream
I”m going to knock these both out as one entry for a couple reason. Most notably is that both can be described completely by their titles. If you want to know what they smell or taste like, just read the damn package. Few candies are quite this spot on while representing a flavor. I mean it. Peeps pulled off something quite impressive here. They even dodged the common mistake of Orange cream tasting like the special fluoride at dentist. These are some top drawer peeps here folks. As I was sharing them with my nephew the issue of the uneven amounts came into view. Who would get a second helping of which kind? Let's just say I solved the issue like a biblical king.
Half Peeps, bitches!

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