Short of a new Friday the 13th
or a sequal to Streets of Fire or Big Trouble in Little China, few
things could make me as eager to pay for inflated movie ticket prices
like the new Godzilla. One of my few bits of true nerd cred is that I
have seen every single one of the big G's adventures. Knowing the
flighty nature of the internet I see this as an opportunity to help
guide people to the better parts of the series and maybe generate
more than my usual 2-5 views for the week.. With that in mind I'd say
it's time for some quick movie by movie recaps of the whole franchise
(sans the tv shows) with the important notes on which ones you should
bother watching. Let's get smashing.
Gojira AKA Godzilla: King of the
Monsters
Most of you have probably seen this
one in one form or another so in all truth there's not as much to
report on. It's a legitimate classic with some great moments. It
ranks as a must see thanks to it's quality. Plus this is the only
film in the whole series that stays in continuity. There is one
weakness however in that even with it being a top tier Godzilla flick
it doesn't feel much like one. It's so serious and lacking in the
usual monster fisticuffs that it seems positively alien in comparison
to most of the franchise. Definitely watch it. Just don't think for a
second that your atomic lizard education ends here.
Godzilla Raids Again
Generally regarded as a letdown, the
first sequel really isn't all that bad. The heavy handed nature of
all the atomic bomb commentary from part one is pushed aside to make
room for a story that's more about what it's like to live in a world
with monsters. Even the heroes are of the more blue collar sort. No
longer are we following reporters and scientists. Instead our leads
work as pilots for a fishing company. Also we get our first enemy
monster and the ensuing monster battles that became a staple for
these movies. Not a great one, but a decent time waster for a dull
afternoon.
King Kong vs. Godzilla
The original vs flick sets the
standard for most of them being enormous disappointments. Really this
should have been the coolest damn movie made up to that point. I mean
you've got both titans of the giant monster world facing off in their
first color picture. Apparently someone thought that the serious
tones of the previous movies wouldn't work for this one so instead of
the giant lovesick ape battling the face of atomic fear in proper
fashion, we get two horrid looking versions of them dancing and
throwing rocks at each other. To even the playing field Godzilla's
powers were greatly reduced and Kong earned some lighting abilities
from god knows where. The only important element introduced here is
the island adventure theme which would come into play many more times
over the course of the series. This one stinks like Kong droppings.
Don't bother with it.
Godzilla vs. Mothra
As a kid I always hated Mothra. She
was such a goody goody. Every time Godzilla showed up to have some
fun at humanities expense there was that damn bug and her gross larva
to dump on the party. With that said this is actually one of the best
of the early flicks. The island adventure theme from the last one is
used again to greater effect. The characters are actually
entertaining. The whole thing just comes together in a neat little
package that you should probably make the time for.
Ghidorah The Three-Headed Monster
Part five introduced a slew of
important developments to the series, but don't let that trick you
into thinking it's any good. As for the new elements; first is the
presence of alien invaders. Next is the first attempt to turn
Godzilla into a heroic figure. By this point the producers realized
that kids loved the big G and a good way to keep the cash flowing
would be to make him the good guy. Thous he needed an even nastier
rival in the form of King Ghidorah who makes his entrance here.
Honestly this one is just a dull blur to me which isn't helped by the
next movie being almost the same thing just better. Let's not forget
the lame part where the Mothra girls translate a monster conversation
for everybody. Skip it
Invasion of the Astro Monster
Pretty much the same as the one
before it just much better. This one takes the same formula of alien
invaders, King Ghidorah, and zilla defending the earth but does it
all with a darker tone. There's some extra bits to add depth like an
alien girl who falls for an earth man leading her own people to kill
her. Still; it's largely forgettable so you don't really need to
bother with it.
Ebirah Horror of the Deep
Returning to island adventures on
even smaller budgets we find this entry to be mostly zillaless. The
primary monster this time is the evil Ebirah which is a giant
shrimp/lobster that fallows the commands of an evil organization
based on some mysterious island. A research team heads to the island
to investigate something (can't remember what) and encounters a
native girl who saves them from the baddies. It's very much a turn
towards simple plup stories for the series but it's not wretched by
any means, just a little weak.
Son of Godzilla
Ohhhh boy. With this one, we're
introduced to Manilla. The disgusting and fiendishly annoying
offspring of our favorite city smasher. This is yet another island
based tale that mostly centers around the trials of the king of the
monsters raising an awful son. There's some stuff with yet another
group of researchers camping out but I couldn't begin to remember
what they were actually doing. It's really not as bad as I'm making
it sound but there's nothing here to hold the interest of anyone
other than crazed fans.
Destroy All Monsters
This was planned as the end all be
all of Kaiju flicks. Monsters from all corners of Toho studio are
brainwashed by evil aliens in order to conquer Earth. Naturally the
monsters eventually break free of this control and battle amongst
each other for the top honor of blasting the martians out of the sky.
With a much bigger budget than the previous flicks this one is a big
fun pile of crazy with lots of violence and city bashing. Definitely
one to watch.
All Monsters Attack
While the title might lead you to
believe that this is a direct continuation of the previous film it's
actually closer in tone to Son of, only sooooo much worse. The entire
thing is about the most irritating little kid you've ever seen who
fantasizes about living on Monster Island and being best friends with
Manilla who can talk. That's it. Just the twisted fever dreams of a
kid who wants to escape his awful life. Despite a running time of
only like 72 minutes this is akin to having an elephant stomp on your
pelvis while you listen to music from Barbara Streisand and Celine
Dion piping out of two separate stereos taped to your head. Do not,
under any circumstances, watch this miserable pile.
That's enough for today. Next time
we'll get into parts 11-20 which feature everything from time travel
to intergalactic cockroaches. See ya soon.
No comments:
Post a Comment