Monday, March 28, 2022

The Road to Onslaught: First Sign Part 2

 


    Over the years of writing this blog there’s a few posts and series that stand out as favorites,s almost embodiment of why I do this to begin with. One such cherished time was way back in 2015-2016 when I covered the delightfully silly, and often confounding Marvel Comic’s saga known as The Crossing. This particular event proved very controversial in its own time and was eventually retooled within continuity and goes largely unmentioned. Honestly it makes sense as the whole thing reeks of edgy 1990’s attempts at making things more cool and marketable such as replacing Tony Stark, who turns into a murderous villain, with a time-displaced teen-aged version of himself, or turning the wasp into an actual giant bug lady. It was sloppy, inconsistent, full of holes, and an absolute blast to review.

    Truth is, The Crossing was always preamble for me, a stepping stone towards something greater. Problem was a lack of resources and the grim realities of product availability made moving on to that bigger fish a non-starter. Since the early 2000’s I’ve wanted to read another hated Marvel crossover event, one that rivals the crossing in size and scope. Of course I speak of Onslaught.

    When I lest touched on this topic was midways through a collection called First Sign which held together the main threads of Avengers, Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America as they transitioned from one massive event to the next. It wa right in the midst of that when I realized there was no reasonable way for me to continue on to Onslaught, even worse if I wanted to delve further into the Heroes Reborn era. And so the recurring series drifted away. As a strange man once said, life… finds a way, and as I’m writing this the complete Onslaught is likely a day from reaching my doorstep. If there’s ever been a time to pick up that torch and get back on the march now is it.

    So where were we? While I’d advise those with the time to go back through all the old posts I realize few of us have such luxuries. In the meantime I’ll fall back on my recap from the original First Sign posting. “Tony Stark turned out to be a toady for time-traveling villains. He killed a few people and eventually sacrificed himself in a last ditch effort at redemption, leaving his time-displaced teenage self to pick up the pieces. Another villain, Madam Masque seemed to turn over a new lief and joined the Avengers while Wasp was actually transformed into a bug-person because we all remember how big kids were into the works of Cronenberg in the 90's, right? In other books at the time Captain America returned from some situation that caused people to think he was dead, Thor lost all his godly powers, and west coast team, Force Works disbanded.” Might as well throw in the addition that War Machine also finished a strange period in which he donned an alien armor called Eidolon War Ware.

    As for the First Sign era there were a combination of odd elements like Sharon Carter returning from the dead, Thor losing his godly powers followed by him hooking up with Enchantress. And young Tony Stark starting college where he discovered one of his teachers to be his former flame all grown up. it should be noted that this isn’t the entire story leading into Onslaught. There’s actually a number of issues of various X-Men books leading up to this event as well which are covered in multiple paperbacks. My hope is they one day collect all of that into a giant omni so we can return to this era again down the line. All that preamble outta the way I think we can finally dive back into this ponderous period in comics history.

Avengers #397



    If ever there was a comic that embodied the essence of spring cleaning it would be Avengers #397. This is nothing more than arranging pieces, and rushing the completion of different plot threads. Some of it picks up with Hawkeye and Scarlet Witch playing survivalist in the Grand Canyon against a bunch of rabid army thugs. Another segment involves the aftermath of a battle between Hulk and Thor that resulted in the latter getting his godly powers back. Big blondy along with a gaggle of Avengers pick up some green people from an underground society before going globe-trotting to intercept bio-bombs or some such silliness.

    Boy I’d love to provide some witty commentary on this one but yikes, what a snoozer. Each plot is dumped by issues end, confirming it all as a sloppy ruse to get the band together. What an odd assortment it is too. Most of the assembled crew are classic avengers just in lesser variations. Wasp is still a giant bug lady, Thor is in full shirtless 90s mode, and the writers seem to have zero clue what to do with Vision. The specialty members are less than inspiring. On one end you’ve got Swordsman who barely makes his presence known. Then there’s Madam Masque, who I believe was later rewritten as not being Madam Masque (like a clone or something). Hercules and Deathcry are around here somewhere but don’t you fret, they’ll soon be forgotten. At least this thing wraps up all this fluff in a single issue so we can move on to something else.

    There are two elements that got me back in the spirit of my old Crossing reviews, the combo of wildly over-the-top facial expressions and ass shots. Neither phenomenon is strictly bound to this time-period but man was this ever an era in which both features hit with full force.

Iron Man #327

    Now this is more like it. Can’t hide that I am eternally fascinated by the blip of time that was teen Tony’s tenure. This issue showcases the trouble the editorial staff had in committing to this new version of the lead character via a disconnect between his new adventures and the old supporting cast which is beautifully illustrated by the opening of this issue.

    Our story kicks off with the reading of old Tony’s will. All his support crew are in attendance from Rhody to Pepper, and most interestingly, Bethany Cabe who disappeared during the Crossing a seeming victim of foul play. But nah, everything’s fine folks. Unaware of the ghost at their table and incapable of acknowledging the familiar teenager in the corner several folks are tasked with leading Stark Enterprises into the future. There’s also a mysterious figure watching this all through a video feed. Given the track record of these comics I fully expect this shadowy conspirator to never resurface.

    Across town a lingering issue from the zodiac attack that left New York powerless is being dealt with. A medical center that specialized in cryogenic freezing finds the outage resulted in the death of most of their customers. The founder however is doing more than fine in his special chamber that siphoned power from surrounding chambers. It’s not long before we meet Frostbite, the first of, many only of, Teen Tony’s new enemies. It only makes sense to give the kid a new assortment of villains since old Tony sorta got the short straw on that front. And wouldn’t ya know this guy has a personal connection as the husband of Tony’s former love, now college professor, Meredith.

    After the will reading, Tont decides that it is totally appropriate to visit his new professors home to announce that he didn’t ditch he all those years ago. He simply got pulled into a tragic future wherein he was nearly murdered by his older self and now he’s her student who still has the hots for her. Mercifully the young lad us saved complete embarrassment by the introduction of Meredith's husband, Frostbite, who quickly puts a chill on the young avenger. I feel no shame in that pun since these issues are full of far worse.

Iron Man 328

    The next issue kicks of right where we left off with… oh wait. Frostbite and the lady are outside while Tony’s back at Avengers mansion doing just fine, the fuck? Much as I’d like to do a bit where I shout like an old man about “the old days when cliffhangers mattered,” such thinking doesn’t really apply to twenty-five year old comic books.

    Most of this issue exists to promote the new iron man suit which is… different to say the least. Alright it’s straight out ugly. The core concept isn’t so bad but the abnormal proportions really throw things off. From a characterization standpoint it’s weird that the suit doesn’t look a wee more retro seeing as Teen Tony is from a different time and doesn’t have as vast a wealth as his adult self. Overall the suit is ok so long as they avoid nightmarish panels with his eyes.

God, kill it with Fire!


    Meanwhile the Japanese have arrived attempting to buy out Stark Enterprises and Tony decides he’s growing to start fresh by living at college, trying to become his own man. There’s a whole conversation about whether he’s destined to become an easily addicted man-child but such soul-searching is quickly set aside for fine college ladies. Way to go, youngblood.

Avengers #398



    If the previous issue of Avenger was equivalent to house-cleaning, this one is an awkward rainy Saturday. Plot thread one concerns Hercules and Deathcry making googly eyes at each-other while heading to the moon to check out some package left near the old Inhuman home-base. They end up kidnapped by some Shi’ar types and honestly I can’t recall if this story ever receives a proper wrap up. I do know both of them sorta vanish for a little while.

    Back at Avengers HQ, Black Widow is being real cagey about Madam Masque being on the team. Wasp discovers her husband implanted some sort of tracking device in her neck. All the while Quicksilver makes a couples dinner for himself, Crystal, Wanda, and Vision. His plans are thrown on their head by the unwelcome mention of his possible future son, Tuc (god, how did I forget about that goldmine) and a sudden violent attack by vision. Said attack is linked to several disappearances by a weird robo-critter that’s infiltrated the mansion. Will this be a cliffhanger that actually sticks? Find out next time.

    Seriously though, this is gonna be a prime feature for the next couple months as it’s an opportunity I’ve waited years for. Still gonna do other items like Ultraman series reviews and good god am I ever behind on snack reports. Post nights are either going to be Mondays or Thursdays depending on factors. I hope to have this first sign stuff wrapped real quick so we can get into the real meat of Onslaught. See you soon.

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