Wednesday, September 15, 2021

Halloween Snack Report 2021: Part 1

 


    For years I have set the official start of fall right around this point in September. This is thanks to the last major town festival which serves as a final outlet for local yaboos to get their last traces of summer crazy outta their system and return to proper living. Last year this important passage was missing since covid prevented any such social events but this September marked a… triumphant? Well some kind of return and now it’s over and true blue, honest to god fall is finally here!

    Welcome then to the best part of each and every year otherwise known as the last third of it. No doubt the new job has made it tougher to keep up with regular posting but the months that comprise fall and early winter are just too damn wonderful to miss out on. As mentioned in a previous post that likely means more frequent but smaller updates from now through new years. There’s some good stuff on deck too with several posts already in utero. In that spirit let’s do our first of likely several snack reports. As llck would have it we’ve already encountered several of the heavy hitters for the Halloween season such as Shrieker Skittles and Apple Cider Donut Oreo Cookies but today we’re gonna look at the major shining stars of spook season 2021.

    For the third Halloween in a row Mtn Dew has blessed us with ytt another mystery flavor soda to sooth our frightful thirsts. Right off the bat there’s a shift towards a darker blue motif for the packaging that conveys a different mood without losing that classic haunted house flair. Sure I give the dew art department lots of props as us but this one is without a doubt one of their absolute masterpieces. From the calming teal to dark blue with spots of yellow all wrapped around the usual grim reaper figure and his bat & spider cohorts, everything looks like a classic beistle diecut with just enough of that obnoxious bro vibe to keep it distinct.

    Of course this wouldn’t be a proper Voodew edition without the mystery flavor. There’s a split opinion on the intended flavor with some family members believing this is Runts candy in soda form. Meanwhile I’ve seen some folks online stake their claim on Starburst candy. To an extent I can see why someone would think either of those but for my part I believe this is actually cotton candy. It’s scent base flavor, even the softly fading aftertaste all scream cotton goodness to me.

    Is Voodew III any good though? Absolutely. Hard to saw after so long between each entry but I think this may be my favorite Voodew so far and I’d love it to come back as a regular flavor (along with Pitch Black and a dozen others). It’s smooth, properly refreshing with little to no gack aspect. Rating wise this is at least a 4.5 and totally deserving of a place in everyone’s Halloween shrine, aka fridge.

    Those nuts over at Dew didn’t settle on merely one specialty flavor for the season. There’s actually 3 once you count the weird blue one at Applebees, but for the moment I’m talking about the Kroger exclusive Thrashed Apple. Talk about a pairing way too long in the making. Dew has been infused with nearly every major fruit by this point yet somehow it took all this time to finally get an apple variety. Frankly I blame white people for the delay. Ya notice Mexico’s got plenty of apple soda. Social theories aside this was a majorly exciting product which was only more impressive by being pushed out alongside the new Voodew. So how’s it stack up?



    Starting with the looks there’s a whole character motif going on here, something I believe is company wide as the new Voltage package also has a new character. Here’s we’ve got some rock and roller apples and a whole lotta green. Can’t help but think the whole thing would have looked better with a few traces of fall colors but what’s here is still nice. In a direct comparison to Voodew however this just looks like the goofy middle child whose going through a phase.

    When it comes to flavor this is pure candy water. Stopping just shy of being outright melted jolly rancher there’s still that distinctive hard candy tinge to the taste. Can’t deny it’s refreshing and unique though. Being so sweet helps to set it apart from other apple sodas and there’s no other Dew quite like it. This is the sort of thing where I wouldn’t mind it coming back into our lives every now and then but it hasn’t quite earned a top spot. Let’s say a 3.5 rating. Still a huge win to have two awesome sugary drinks this season.

    Undoubtedly the biggest snack launch this fall has got to be Monster Mash cereal. It’d be polite to say the Monster Cereals brand has been slacking the past few years by doing just the bare minimum to stay in the spotlight. Probably the last truly notable exploit was the card game in 2018. For 2021 General Mills got off the couch, combed the crumbs from their beard, and actually did something worthwhile by creating a new cereal based on the bones of all the old ones.

    Packaging is good, not great, but good. Gonna end up sounding mean about this one, which is a shame since I honestly do like the whole monsters coming together as a band motif. It’s just that it all feels a little small too focused. Clean retro design has it’s place for sure but this novelty record looking cover art for Monster Mash doesn’t live up to the epic promise of all five of our heroes joining forces. At least let us see the venue these guys are jamming at. Don’t leave them stranded in some endless black void like an anime character who can’t sort out their feels.

    I’ve not taken the time to catalog which pieces of Munster Mash hail from which of the individual monster cereals but I can confirm there’s a bit of everybody in here, most importantly my precious Yummy Mummy. The combined taste is both a little bit of everything yet all of nothing all at once. At first I was a little disappointed by the non-committal nature of this grab bag of flavors. A couple days later however found me suffering from an incredible hunger with no real craving for anything in particular. In that mindset Monster Mash suddenly took on a new life. That’s when I realized it’s true use.

    We all have those blah moments even during our favorite season. Maybe work took too much out of us or we woke up to a rush of chores. Those days can leave us wanting to do something seasonal but lacking for inspiration. That’s when Monster Mash swoops in for the rescue by providing us a little bit of everything when we have no idea what we actually want. In essence this is the Halloween mood stabilizer all of us could use in a pinch. Based on its own merits as a cereal it maybe merits a 3 out of five but as a lifesaver for spooky season it’s invaluable. Even better is that it’s one of those rare cereal that’s actually good when eaten dry. Just reach on in and see which monster flavors you pull back.

    Gotta say this is one of the better years for snacks in recent memory. It’s great to see so many companies pumping out the hits to help set the world back on track. These three are standing on top at the moment but there’s still so many treats to talk about, just wait till yall see the results of the September spree. Gonna do my damnedest to not fall behind since this season’s shaping up so nicely. Mostly I want to support all your festive spirits in the hope that you’ll return the favor. We’ve been given the opportunity to get back to celebrating the season the right way so let’s not waste it.

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