During the past
few days I have written well over a dozen pages of academic content,
created my very fist gifs, discovered the video editing features
available through VLC, studied countless sources of information,
finished a class, and conducted all manner of important
correspondence with professors and money men. I've been quite the
responsible lad and frankly I am thoroughly sick of it. This guy
needs a break during his few days between classes which means you all
benefit. I'm currently stuffed with paczki and feeling a need to
write something fun but disjointed, don't have the attention for a
single item. Snack Report it is. This month we've got a couple of
outstanding treats alongside some disappointing flavor experiments.
Let's take a bite shall we?
Reuben Pringles
Given how often I
check on snack blogs it's always a thrill to find something that
hasn't been reported on yet, as was the case a few weeks back when
the search for Combos and energy drinks lead to the discovery of a
brand new Pringle flavor. Not just any flavor mind you but one based
on one of the greatest sandwiches known to mankind, the wondrous
Reuben. I could just imagine the delicate taste of sauerkraut and
thousand island placed into a crunchy chip. Could these ever live up
to my hopes?
Opening up the
tube provided a fairly accurate smell, not as good as the real deal
but in the ballpark at least. The first taste was quite good as well.
They tasted like both Pringles and my beloved deli delight, then
something began to change. Over the following days some of the
flavors begin to shrink while the cheese aspect overtook them.
Problem was the cheese was more of the cheddar powder variety than
Swiss which made for a twisted take on Reubens. It was still good but
the glory was fading fast.
In the end these
Walgreen exclusives were a fun treat though one that must be consumed
fast. And for those who don't like Reubens (twisted monsters) these
likely won't provide much in the way of satisfaction. I'll give em a
three out of five pending they're eaten quickly.
Combos Sweet
Barbeque Cracker
The reason I went
into Walgreens that night was in search of their newest Combos
exclusive, Sweet Barbeque flavor. Of the three Combo mediums cracker
ranks far over pretzel and BBQ is always good, right, so these must
be good... right?
Oh boy were these
ever a let down. The initial scent was odd to say the least and the
flavor followed suite. For starters the whole experience has a kind
of overbearing hickory quality to it that throws more smoke which
throws off the sweetness. It's not a horrible taste but it fails to
satisfy on almost every front. I say almost because when left bored
and hungry in class I still managed to consume a great deal of the
bag. Still; these are pretty much a failure, albeit an edible one. I
give em a two outta five.
Coke Energy Drink
Another item from
that successful Walgreens trip was the spiffy new Coke Energy. I
suppose it makes sense for Coke to enter the energy drink market
though I'm not quite sure why instead of launching a totally unique
flavor they just adapted regular and cherry Coke to the highly
caffeinated format.
Results are
honestly lame. It smells like Coke but a bit off, it tastes like Coke
but a bit off. It's not as tasty or refreshing as the regular
versions nor is the energy effect as smooth as titans of the field
like Monster or Rockstar. Those factors are already enough to bring
the rating down but there's another interesting tidbit to talk about.
My sister had
heard from a few co-workers that after drinking this stuff they
suffered a bout of the runs. Naturally I was doubtful of these
reports but wouldn't ya know that after half a can I started to feel
a certain need. It wasn't the full-on hersheys but Coke Energy seems
to have a wee bit of a laxative effect to it.
So it doesn't
taste that great, isn't very refreshing, isn't a great source of
energy, isn't unique, and it might lead you to the toilet. This stuff
ain't gonna last. We're talking a one outta five.
Fruit Loops Pop
Tarts
After the
disappointing antics of Coca-Cola I think we should turn to a
brighter topic. I can't think of much better than Fruit Loops Pop
Tarts. The loops are making several crossovers these days, including
peeps, but the notion of toaster pastries seems silly at best. Worry
not cereal fans as these are already among the top treats of the
year.
Both the taste
and scent are nearly perfect replications of the source material.
Presentation is through the roof with printed designs on the
frosting. Even the texture if good, if a little off as this is the
desert style filling rather than typical fruit goo. Best of all they
may be at their very best untoasted. Truly an outstanding snack and
one I hope sticks around for a long time to come. Fuck it, I'm giving
these a full five out of five but feel free to drop down by a half if
you dislike the desert filling.
Cheez-it Extra
Cheesy and Extra big
Yet another entry
in this years wave of “extra” editions comes to us courtesy of
the cracker brand most beloved by Corgis, seriously. Extra Cheesy
Cheez-It isn't going to be for everyone, my nephew for instance
thought there was simply too much cheese powder. For those of us who
can't possibly get enough cheesy goodness these are a godsend. What's
really great is how the major dosage of powder helps to separate
these enough from the regular edition that both versions are totally
valid. Nothing surprising here, just an excellent cracker. Four out
of five.
While lacking a
photo I also had the opportunity to try Extra Big Cheez-It which are
nowhere near as impressive. Sure they're delicious, I mean it's still
a big Cheez-It. These simply aren't different enough to be more than
a temporary novelty, and don't seem much bigger than their already
big ancestors. Still pretty awesome though so they at least earn a
three and a half outta five.
Kit Kat Raspberry
Cream
Already a relic
of the Valentine's Day candy rush, Raspberry Cream was the latest
holiday edition from Kit Kat. These special variants have been
characterized by wildly shifting levels of quality ranging from the
awful Pumpkin Spice to goddamn awesome Sweet Cinnamon. So where does
this newest attempt fall on the spectrum?
So the smell is
sorta artificial, as is the flavor. It's raspberry for sure but it's
missing the bitey twinge of the real deal, opting for a smooth and
mellow quality to lean heavily on the cream aspect. Sadly the cream
has that sort of whey powder flavor mixed in there. Basically these
are just alright, definitely a few steps above Pumpkin Spice but
nowhere near Sweet Cinnamon territory. An accurate rating would be
somewhere between two and a half & three. Not bad, just ok.
Arby's Mac and
Cheese
Absolutely one of
the most oddball moves from any fast food joint of late has got to be
Arby's adding macaroni and Cheese to the menu. As both a lifelong
connoisseur and a man with one mean recipe for the stuff I had to see
what was on offer. The results were unexpected and a little
confusing.
To begin with
this stuff is thick for mass produced Mac and Cheese. This makes for
a great filler and one hell of a winter warmer. It's got that cozy,
mildly bloating feeling you crave. The flavor is where things get
weird however. The taste is modeled far too much on white cheeses
without a solid yellow to mix things up. These leaves the whole
experience feeling a bit bland, they could really benefit from some
pepper and paprika. That being said I've had a lot worse both from
stores and cooks so I'd actually like to see this stick around,
especially with the decent serving size for the cost. I'm gonna be
nice and give this a three out of five.
Mtn Dew Maui Blast
Yet more store
exclusives, this time from Dollar General. Frankly I'm not a huge fan
of the place, more of a Dollar Tree man, but when new Dew is in the
cards I can't stay away. Maui Blast was originally a limited time
offer that I missed out on. It must have been successful as this
month it became available full-time.
Right off the bat
I love the tropical can design with tiki dudes in all four corners.
The design is a perfect lead-in to the scent which is pure pineapple
lifesaver candy. The flavor matches that smell and man is it ever
tasty. Pineapple really is an underused flavor in the soda market so
it's great to have something like this readily available. It's not a
game-changer and I'm sure some folks won't like the candy styled
flavor profile but I've gotta give this at least a four.
Skittles Dips
Alongside the Dew
I finally picked up the newest Skittles which aim to replicate the
whole fruit and yogurt combo with lackluster results. All they did
was take standard-issue Skittles and apply a thick coating of
artificial yogurt gunk. The eating experience starts off gross as
there is only the coating, then gets pretty good once that mixes with
the Skittles proper, then the coating disappears living you with
regular candy. The novelty is so ineffective it leaves you
questioning why you didn't just buy normal candy to begin with. In
theory this could work but Skittles really needs to go back to the
drawing board. Gonna give em two outta five.
And
with that, I'm spent. It's been a long month and I've still gotta get
in one more post by Saturday and get started on work for my next pair
of classes. Success doesn't come easy so you all should expect plenty
of snack reports in the months to come as I eat my stress. Tonight
however I plan to celebrate with video games, Ultraman, and cheap
Canadian beer. That's the hallmark of a future world-leader right
there.
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