Tuesday, October 23, 2018

CosmicSparky's Halloween Watch-List 2018



Here we are with just over a week to go before the big night of ghouls and goblins. Despite a few odd hang-ups it's been a pretty solid season and there's still enough time to fit in a good haunted house, some pumpkin carving, and plenty of spooky movies. Naturally I've been keeping to my tradition of at least one scary movie every night though there have been a few that have counted more as glorified background noise during bouts of schoolwork.
One nagging issue on this page is that, outside of praising Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum earlier this month, there's been little opportunity to talk about movies with you all. I aim to remedy that issue by ushering in what may become a permanent fixture of future Halloweens where I offer some suggestions. Some are totally scary affairs, others are a bit goofy, a couple of them aren't even horror films. I think each of them make a fine enhancement for the holiday. Let's kick things off with proper horror flicks.

For those craving some under the radar frights you can't go wrong with Late Phases: Night of the Lone Wolf. The set-up is simple, a cranky old blind veteran moves into a senior living neighborhood only to be attacked by the resident werewolf. He survives but his dog isn't so lucky, and so begins a campaign to get revenge on the man-mutt responsible for killing his pooch.
Late Phases manages to function as a sort of character-study as our hero is a gruff bastard with a strained relationship towards his adult son. Even though he's a grim character his quest is easy to relate with. He doesn't have much save for his dog. Once that's taken from him it's simply a matter of taking out the bad guys no matter the cost.
This is a tight dramatic movie elevated by excellent performances from the likes of Ethan Embry, Lance Guest, Tom Noonan, and Nick Damici as our hero. It's probably best suited for a more intimate viewing. Perhaps solo or with the significant other on a quiet night when the moon is bright.

Another recent horror flick that I haven't seen get anywhere near enough love is The Autopsy of Jane Doe. This one also benefits from a simple premise as a father and son coroners are tasked with the autopsy of a mysterious body found at a nearby massacre. As the pair dig deeper into the corpse they unlock further clues to her identity and inadvertently stir up some paranormal activity.
This is your straight-up scary recommendation for the year. I will admit that for those if us who ingest horror on a regular basis it may only bring some chills, but regular folk are likely to get nice and scared. There's a little bit of everything you need for a solid fright fest, from spooky noises over the radio to animated corpses, and all the gore associated with an autopsy.
There are a few drawbacks such as a somewhat ho-hum ending but for those in the market for a good scream, this is well worth you time.

Many of us have hidden gems tucked away in our movie library. Those awesome films that stick with us for years without ever garnering much attention elsewhere. One of my absolute favorite to show off comes from one of the men responsible for The Blair Witch Project, Eduardo Sanchez. The man has put together an interesting list films since then, even a decent Bigfoot flick with Exists. That said, he has never topped the work he did with Altered, a reversal on alien abduction tales where a batch of rednecks manage to capture a little green man.
Turns out this batch of good old boys have some history with space men, having been abducted and tortured years earlier. Now they're faced with a tough decision. What do you do with a blood-thirsty alien once you've captured it? You might say take it to the authorities but keep in mind this little monster has all sorts of tricks and his buddies are looking to get him back.
The sheer scope of storytelling that plays out in one house and the surrounding woods never feels tiresome, there are plenty of characters both stoic and stupid, and the critters are mean and deadly. There are a few sloppy plot-twists but the overall effort is astonishing. I've never quite figured out how Altered hasn't become a certified classic of the genre but It's one I think you should all take the time to track down.

While not a horror film in any shape or form, Cowboy Bebop: The Movie (AKA Knockin' on Heaven's Door) manages to provide some outstanding alternative Halloween viewing. As if it isn't enough to be a great anime, or a great action flick for that matter, the final act occurs on Halloween night amid a huge parade. I'd planned on putting together a full tribute for this one as it's holiday connection is often overlooked but time simply won't allow it.
Taking place between the twenty-second and twenty-third episodes of the TV series, this movie benefits from well-established characters while still offering a solid entry point for new viewers. It's the perfect treat for people who want something drastically different from scary movies but still want to maintain their seasonal spirit.
One of my favorite elements comes during the ending credits as we move into November first and watch life return to normal. Very few films based around any holiday properly tackle that ephemeral shift from full-scale celebration to everyday life. It's a neat comparison between how life builds up to events and then immediately back to business much the way these characters overcome crazy obstacles only to go back home and crash on the couch. Whether you're just regular folk or a space cowboy it's both the big and little moments that matter.

Here's another one for those craving something outside of the usual scary trappings. Lost Skeleton of Cadavra is spoof of black & white sci-fi monster movies, only the comedy largely comes from it being exactly like those old schlock-fests. From terrible special-effects and costumes to corny dialogue and senseless plot-holes, every detail is captured perfectly. At the same time it is one of the most comfortingly funny movies you'll ever see with lines you can quote for years to come.
The same writer/director along with this cast have made other throwback spoofs, including a sequel, radio plays, and one of the funniest novels I've ever read with Suburb at the Edge of Never. Even with all that to choose from the group has never made something as upbeat as this first outing.
For those of you with kiddies, consider this the family pick. There's no vulgarity of excessive violence to be found. It's just as clean as the old drive-in fare it pays tribute too. Like the combo of hot coco and a blanket, it's the perfect fit for a night when you need to be cheered up.

Last but not least we've got the wild-card pick for something so bad it's good. Night Train to Terror is a horror anthology comprised of re-edit and unfinished films. Each story is presented by god and the devil as they play chess on a train full of break-dancing teenagers. That should clue you in to the kind of “quality” this one has to offer.
Each segment is besieged by massive plot-holes, terrible effects, and unexpected nonsense. There's not a single redeeming factor to the whole production but given the right mood, a few beers, and some friends you've some legendary entertainment.
Content wise there's plenty of violence, nudity, satanic panic, and musical numbers. If you zero inclination to laugh at crap, stay away from this film. For those who love to replicate Mystery Science Theater at home, this is a holy grail.

I'm glad we got to talk about a few movies before the month is done. This is such an important topic for me at this time of year and it almost got lost in the shuffle. More than likely there will only be one more post before Halloween night, maybe two if I'm lucky. Until then I urge you all to get out and enjoy what's left of October. Set aside real-world responsibilities, they'll still be there in November. Take a walk in the park, play a scary game, or just sit outside among the decorations and drink some pumpkin ale. Enjoy this time time the way you see fit.

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