Anniversaries are a
hell of a thing. They're an understandable achievement when it comes
to something like marriage or the continuing existence of a business
because it takes work to keep such a venture going for so long. With
items like art, an anniversary doesn't seem quite as notable. I mean
let's face it, the original Star Wars would still be turning
40 this year regardless of whether or not it spawned a massive
franchise. Even so, May marked the four decade mark for A New Hope
and Smuggler's Bounty themed itself in kind.
If luck or or
decent shipping had been with me, this unboxing would have been
written up last week, but alas a combination of DHL and USPS
sluggishness held back delivery until a mere hour before work on
Thursday afternoon. This gave me just enough time to check on what it
is I spend my duckets on before heading out to deal with the world.
Was I lucky enough to nab something extra special? Let's dive in and
see.
I took this
month's photos in front of our entertainment center to give some
sense of the massive scale of this box. This thing is huge! A
cardboard titan that fuels the imagination as to what treasure could
be housed inside. On top of that, is the illustration of Leia,
promising the potential of an item commemorating the space princess
lost to us back in December. Clearly there was some real potential
within this crate, so what's inside?
As always, the
standard issue patch and pin come first. Usually I have very little
to say on this front but there's no way I can resist pointing out how
lame this patch is. It's supposed to be Luke in his X-Wing flight
gear but it looks more like some derpy kid dressed up for fun. You
know what I'm talking about, your neighbors cousin who would show up
every couple of months and couldn't take the hint that you didn't
want to entertain him. Now that your mind is swimming with awkward
childhood memories, I can at least say the pin is a decent, albeit
fairly standard looking Chewbacca.
As always, I tried
to blindly pull items from the box in order to sustain the mystery
and surprise for as long as possible. Such an attempt proved
challenging this time as one giant item dominated over the others. I
figured this was the Pop that had already been spoiled to me by
advertisements. I'd have to forgo my usual ritual to get this thing
out of the way so I flung open the box, and that's when things took a
turn for the bleak.
Let's talk about
that Pop first. Continuing a theme from the previous Empire
Strikes Back box, we're treated to another deluxe Pop. This time
it's Luke in his landspeeder. No complaints here as this is a nice
item. The paint, detail, sculpt, and size make for a winning
collectible. Plus it continues a potential series of deluxe items for
the main characters. Most likely, I would have been more thrilled
with the item had it not already been spoiled. Still an awesome
exclusive all the same.
The rest of the
box is where the problem lies. First up is a Pop Home item, Han Solo
and Greedo salt and pepper shakers. Now I've previously defended the
inclusion of Pop Home Mugs as they have a variety of potential
applications be that a drinking vessel, food bowl, or pot for small
plants. Salt and pepper shakers on the other hand only have one
function and who in this day and age even uses these things when
proper pepper grinders are readily available? These were practically
designed to show up at yard sales within the next few years.
Next was a little
package that I first thought might be a wallet or something similar.
Nope, sweat bands......honest to god, fucking sweat bands. Talk about
a gross miscalculation of what costumers want from a Funko box.
People subscribe to these services because they're into collectibles
that can be displayed in some form or fashion. Items like Pops and
Dorbz are easy to show off, t-shirts can be kept, hung, worn and
still kept moderately fresh, or even turned into a damn quilt down
the line. Even those salt and pepper shakers can be showcased in some
way. Sweat Bands have no worth as a collectible and they're only
purpose as an article of clothing is to become smelly and disgusting
before being tossed in the garbage.
So what else was
on tap in this massive anniversary box? Nothing at all. What's worse
is looking at the outside of the box we were teased with the
potential for a Princess Leia item even though she's nowhere to be
found. Every single Funko box I've received thus far always includes
the character on the box, even if they're just on the shirt. So why
hint at Leia, only to leave a surprising amount of empty space
inside? There isn't even the usual information sheet about this
months items. Just one great Pop and a some junk.
I try to give
Funko a boost whenever I can. By and large I like the company and
their products. I've largely enjoyed they're subscription boxes as
even the weaker offerings tend to have enough quality to make up for
any misgivings. I just can't give them a pass here though. This was a
poor offering to begin with, made even worse by failing to live up to
the potential of the theme.
On a
personal note, I'd already been planing to cut off my subscription in
the hope of using that money elsewhere (and saving shelf space) so I
really hoped to go out on a good note. Instead I'm leaving with a
bitter aftertaste. I can only hope that whenever they decide to make
a Return of the Jedi box,
someone will have the good sense to make a deluxe Pop of Leia on her
speederbike to accompany the two guys.
That's
all for this month's unboxing folks. Over the Summer I'm planing to
try out a couple different services that have caught my eye. Later in
the year, I'm actually thinking of trying out Funko's Disney box as
there are plans for a Haunted Forest box. For now though I offer the
advice to anyone interested in Funko subscriptions that Smuggler's
Bounty still fails to be as solid or consistent as the Marvel and DC
options. Now you'll have to excuse me, I've got about ten things to
do in the three hours before work. Tah.
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