Lupinranger vs Patranger Episodes 45-48

As a wise time-traveling sorcerer once said, “we're in the endgame now.” Yes indeed after this post we will have only three episodes to go before Lupinranger vs Patranger says farewell and leaves us all as lonely sods until the franchise returns the very next weekend. Our coming period of abandonment my not last long but it's always a bit sad to face the end of a decent Sentai entry, even one that hasn't always lived up to its potential. We'll talk about the long-term pros and cons of this series when we send it off in a few weeks. For now we've got an odd mix of elements to talk about ranging from lighthearted holiday antics to major plot developments.

Episode 45 takes a break from the heavy plots of the past few outings to have some goofy Christmas fun. Installments like this can be tricky as Sentai humor often veers too far into weird or corny territory but the gags and character dynamics on display here actually work out.

The primary conflict concerns a Gangler who aims to remove chicken as the Christmas food of choice and replace it with salmon. This has to be one of the most outright Japanese plots to come form this series but it's true, people love their Christmas chicken. Sakuya finds himself personally invested in this conflict as he's protecting a Christmas party for the same elementary school from, god, like 30 episodes ago.

It's not all simple holiday fun however. While Sakuya, Noel, and the bistro crew protect festive foodstuffs Keiichiro pieces together clues leftover from the revelation that Ganglers are stealing human forms from presumably dead people. Eventually he finally puts all the clues together and figures out that his friends at the bistro must in-fact be the phantom thieves. Imagine that; a funny holiday outing that actually manages to propel the main story.

The festive silliness continues in episode 46 for the token New Year's clip show. Can't help but sound like a broken record every year when I say we don't need or want even one clip show, let alone two. Considering this is a franchise that puts out fresh content essentially every damn week I suppose this is their version of giving folks a vacation but that doesn't make it any easier to swallow. At the very least this show has done a far better job of making these trips down memory lane feel almost like a real episode which isn't something that can be said of many others.

There are two different framing devices for this outing. On one end we have the thieves who are trapped in a sub-dimension and forced to participate in a gameshow which presents mostly shallow clips of action scenes. Still, the bits with them interacting with the host are moderately funny and it's pleasant seeing them ring in the new year.

The cops have a far more serious situation as they pour over all the mounting evidence to back up the theory of the bistro crew being the phantom thieves. They come close to an agreement on the matter but Sakuya won't believe it for a moment which prompts him to ask for time to make his own investigation.

So... yeah, it was a clip show, not the worst one ever though it still felt like a speed-bump before the big show. Oh, yeah, by the end Zamigo enlists Gauche's help in some villainous matters so at least there's some progress there.

Episode 47 marks the beginning of the final sprint. There's but a few installments left to go and plenty to accomplish, meaning its all hands on deck and not a moment wasted.

The first chunk of this adventure revolves around Sakuya's efforts to proves the innocence of his friends. In a rather self-serving form this sting operation takes the form of a lunch date with Umika. While I've found the pairing of these two to feels convenient and almost lazy they have found ways to make it count. The strongest element is that while he's a childish bungler she's grown to respect what a decent and upstanding guy he can be. The date marks the strongest point of this episode with the characters dancing around each-other. He's probing for information, she's attempting to keep it cool, all while Kairi and Touma spy on the pair eventually drawing her aside to inform her the cops are closing in. The added depth from Umika's sadness that Sakuya fully believes in her while she lies to him makes for a fine added layer of drama.

The rest of this adventures ends up being split as the Lupinrangers go after Zamigo who has a new trick. He had Gauche install a third safe on his back along with a collection piece that allows him to liquify his body, making him immune to all manner of attacks. Speaking of Gauche, she's across town taking on the cops where she gets the upper hand forcing Noel to hand himself over to spare his comrades. In the process he finally reveals to them the truth of his heritage. I'm not so much against a late in the game kidnapping if only it felt more natural. While some of the battle with Gauche was well-done parts with Noel came across as if he suddenly forgot how to fight. It really lowers the sense of urgency when you know the character wasn't doing his best. And so we go out on a cliffhanger.

Episode 48 brings with it a variety of major developments including one the audience has been waiting way too long for. I'll try to keep everything straight. Gauche commandeers television signals and announces a public dissection of Noel which is the perfect trap to lure out both teams. The police arrive first and get the asses handed to em. Then the thieves show up to save the day which is when the big boss steps in to ask that they remove their masks on live TV, which they proceed to do.

This is a bit of a misstep as the big show changing reveal not only comes so late in the series but arrives under very sloppy circumstance. I basically the main villain says “jump” and they respond with “how high?”. I mean I guess it makes sense. Multiple characters are already out of the fight so there's little chance of these three taking him on. It just feels like a hollow resolution engineered more to prop him up as the final threat rather than the big moment it could have been.

With that out of the way, the Lupinrangers deal with Gauche while the cops recover and rescue Noel. Boss Dogranio uses his own collection piece which is something of a treasure magnet to take all of Gauche's toys. He's tired of her shit and leaves her to her fate which is having all our heroes blast her to hell. Zamigo is especially fond of this development as all of his actions up to this point were apparently meant to inspire the old boss into loving his job again. Once the dust settles the trio of phantom thieves goes into hiding.

We have to discuss the whole Gauche thing. Not unlike the last major villain to die off we have to ask what was the point of her activities? She had this grand obsession for dissecting and augmenting lifeforms but she was missing something to make her more interesting be it a tragic backstory or a sinister plan to gain power. As is she joins the halls of two-dimensional baddies.

Also found Sakuya's reaction towards the thieves identity to be terribly childish. Yes he's the trusting naive sort and he clearly feels betrayed by Umika lying all this time. Let's be honest here though. You've already got an in with a crazy hot girl and then learn she spends her days fighting interdimensional criminals and wearing skin-tight costumes. Put a ring on it, man. Honestly his attitude better change right quick cause if the worst part of your relationship is that your girlfriend is a spandex clad hero you're privilege is showing.

That's all there is for now. The next recap will be the end for this series and this format. Gonna try a new style of recap during the Strongest Battle mini-series and depending on how that works it may be further augmented for Ryusoulger. This is always an interesting time for Sentai that's made all the more compelling due to the coming shift in talent. Ryusoulger is still being made by folks who know Tokusatsu but they're new to this franchise. That means the final few entries of this series along with the upcoming mini could serve as a send-off for the old guard. Either that or we'll be running back to these people in tears if the new show turns out to be tripe. Guess we'll find out soon enough.

New 2019 Snacks Part 2

This past week has been a flurry of unexpected activity with news of family members moving around which may result in better living conditions for yours truly. One member of the house was out in Vegas for a bit while others were working overtime which offered me full roam of the place for a few days. Then came the big moment of a sequel to one of my all-time favorite films in the form of Glass. After leaving a showing of that with a feeling of satisfaction regarding the film and baffled irritation at the world of film criticism proper winter weather arrived at last allowing for nice snowy walks. Times like this always leave that question of what to write about. I want to get in depth about the movie but unlike the rest of the internet, I believe in giving people a chance to get out and see something before spoiling it. Also thought of reporting my time camping out in the basement catching up on movies and playing old Playstation 1 games but what interest does my nightly excess hold for any of you? Instead we're going to talk about the things that have kept me fueled during this busy period by which I mean the continuing wave of new junk food.

Sour Patch Kids Cereal

One of the outright strangest concepts for a cereal is this new take on Sour Patch Kids. Truthfully I'm not a huge fan of the original candy. Sure I buy a bag once in a great while but it isn't a brand begging for expansion. Furthermore the notion of sour cereal is a little off-putting. Sour and milk are two items that don't pair easily. Even so my goal was to give this a fair shot.

Opening the box was easily the best part of the experience as the smell is just heavenly. It's a little hard to explain with how much is going on with all the sweet fruit and sour notes wafting into my nostrils but god do I ever want a candle of this scent.

Cereal can't exist solely as an air freshener so it was time to serve a proper bowl. The first bite was confusing to say the least. It wasn't bad nor was it good either. Further bites didn't really alter that initial opinion. The flavor is sort of like sour Trix only the texture can't quite live up to that description. Instead of airy pieces that are easy to eat each piece is tight and moisture resistant. The aftertaste is pretty lousy which makes finishing more of a punishment. That being said there are still elements of it that I enjoy but I don't think this is anywhere near good enough to stay on shelves. Let's be generous for the effort it makes to be different and give it a 2 out of 5.

Fruity Lucky Charms

Sometimes a snack comes around that doesn't seem all that necessary or unique upon first glance only to reveal something amazing on further inspection. That is definitely the case with Fruity Lucky Charms which enters the crowded markets of fruit and marshmallow cereals and manages to carve out a proper place for itself.

As you can see I'm totally enamored by this stuff and the reason is quite simple. This is Monster cereal levels of tasty if not better. You could slap a silly horror creature on the box and I wouldn't doubt for a second that this was a part of that legendary line-up. The dry pieces have a bit of a tart pop to their flavor not unlike Trix though a little deeper. Then there's the marshmallows, so many marshmallows. Maybe I simply lucked out with a good box but this thing is packed full of em.

If you are a fan of breakfast or just have an out of season craving for monster cereal do not miss out on a box of this greatness. An absolute delight that earns a full 5.

Crisp Apple Pop Tarts

Pop Tarts have been making a massive push to expand the brand recently with cereal, bars, and even mini bites. Somehow during the planning process Wal-Mart ended up with an exclusive flavor called Crisp Apple.

Straight out of the package you'll notice some classic artificial green apple scent which carries on in the taste department. Thankfully it's a clean flavor that doesn't fall into sour territory. There's no hiding how fake it is but it's still a pleasant apple experience. So far I've only had them toasted but seeing as they're quite decent I'd imagine room temperature or frozen wold be equally tasty. Gotta give these a strong rating of 4. They may not be an absolute knockout but they make for solid late-night lifesavers.

Love Oreo

Of the multiple new Oreo variations none are quite as confounding as these Love cookies. Instead of stating outright what these are supposed to taste like the packaging merely describes them as having a “tangy cream.” Even after taking down multiple cookies with milk, coffee, or straight up I still can't quite figure out what they were aiming for. Maybe it's supposed to be a sort of candy heart flavor but it's nowhere near as horrible as those chalky monstrosities. All mysteries aside what really matters is if these are any good which is where things get a bit complicated.

Love Oreos honestly remind me of ginger lemon cream cookies my mother used to buy from some natural foods company. Problem is chocolate doesn't mix as well with semi-citrus flavor as ginger does so the whole experience is sort of odd. Fluid is really the saving grace here with coffee improving the taste slightly and milk even more than that. Can't forget to note the valentine messages on each one though who among us really takes the time to stare at our cookies? In the vast landscape of Oreo varieties Love comes up a bit short. They're edible and sort of alright yet slightly gross all at once. let's be nice and give em a 2.5 as there will likely be a couple people who enjoy them.

Carrot Cake Oreo

After what seems like an eternity of rumors and fake-outs Carrot Cake has become an official Oreo flavor at last. Somehow the results manage to live up to the long wait thanks to solid use of the graham cookies with tasty cream cheese goo inside. For as much as they get right there really isn't much to talk about with this offering since it's basically what we expected with little in the way of surprise. I will add that this particular cream seems to be more clingy than the usual stuff which is a real pain for those of us with sensitive teeth. In the end this is really tasty just not very surprising so let's go with a solid 4.

Pistachio Oreo Thins

Alright so these aren't new at all. In fact they've been on the shelves since, I think, last spring. Still gotta abide by the golden rule that if I haven't tried then it's new to me. The reason I've dodged these for so long is that I can't stand pistachios at all which as you might imagine makes giving fair opinions on the topic pretty much impossible. Then again these weren't purchased by me. They were bought for the pistachio inhaling nephew who actually can offer a fair assessment of this particular thin cookie sandwich. His opinion was oddly the same as mine as we made displeased faces in unision upon eating them.

For the life of me I can not understand how these are still on shelves. They smell weird, taste worse, and the aftertaste only furthers the insult. Even milk can't save this abomination. Truly one of the worst Oreo products ever brought to market. These are a sad mistake that walks away with a miserable rating of 1.

And that's a wrap on yet another round of sugary goodness. You may not believe it but the current shopping list is only half finished with even more cereals, pop tarts, and Oreo variations along with a few moderately healthy options. So be on the lookout for further junk food in the coming weeks. The next Sentai update will likely be up in a couple days so long as it can be finished between bouts of schoolwork and some work for another site. Not like I'm lacking for time however as biblical cold weather has me trapped indoors for at least another day.

New 2019 Snacks Part 1

One notable letdown over this past Christmas season was a smaller than normal offering of seasonal snacks. Even the items that were floating around could prove troublesome to track down. The flip-side is that snack companies was apparently holding off till the new year to usher in a massive wave of new stuff. Most prominent in this avalanche of calories are something like 15 new cereals and a variety of Pop Tarts brand expansions officially cementing breakfast as the meal of 2019. Considering this month has me in full hibernation mode I'm more than ready to tackle these new goodies. Come along and I'll try to steer you away from the bad stuff.

Overwatch Lucio-Ohs

For those of a certain age there are memories of a time when half the cereal aisle comprised of commercial tie-ins to popular brands. Growing parental oversight and Ralston moving away from the market changed all that which makes something like this Overwatch cereal feel like a quaint callback to another time.

Personally I have zero experience with Overwatch as multiplayer shooters are about as appealing to me as stubbing my toe on a door-frame. Furthermore I don't understand the lore of that universe which only adds to my confusion towards why they would make a cereal for such a stereotypical character as the one on the box. Whatever the case I approached these with no knowledge as to whether they were something unique or simply repackaged Fruit Loops though the box claims a “sonic vanilla” flavor.

Opening the box offered up a rather nice scent. It's sweet but not overbearing, a theme that carries on to the taste itself. Imagine a marshmallow-tinged take on Fruit Loops but mellowed out enough to make for downright comfortable eating.

Mark this one as a pleasant surprise. Most companies would have simply repackaged a pre-existing product with maybe a shaped marshmallow to set it apart. Instead it was given a legitimately decent flavor combined with an overall decent presentation. I'd definitely be down for buying more and that's saying something when my shopping list is already full of cereal. On a scale of 1-5 let's give it somewhere in the 3.5 or 4 arena.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros

A vast amount of the new cereals are different takes on already established brands. CTC comes out with a fresh take that doesn't break the mold with their new Churros variety. The excitement level heading into these was pretty high cause, let's be honest, the churro stands alongside the elephant ear one of mankind's greatest achievements. Sadly this cereal doesn't quite match up to that level of quality.

Don't get me wrong this is still a tasty snack but there's not enough to separate it from regular Toast Crunch. Everything from the smell and taste comes up just short of the original. It's a little less sweat, possibly more greasy, with a rougher texture. It's decent enough but I highly doubt this one will be sticking around for long. I give it a 3 so at least try it while you can.

Strawberry Rice Krispies

Appearing out of nowhere as what I can only assume to be a Valentine's promotion the newest Rice Krispies try to enter the overcrowded field of fruity cereals. Considering the key selling point of traditional Krispies is to be comfortingly bland it was hard to guess what they might be aiming for with this Strawberry variety.

Opening the box I discovered a deliciously sweet smell that suggested something far different than the original cereal would ever provide. Taste was another matter however. The things smell sweet, they look sweet, brother... they ain't sweet. Sure there's a hint of berry flavor but these' really aren't all that special. They might make for some interesting treats when baked up with marshmallow goo but as a cereal this is a letdown. These are gonna scrap by with a 2.5 as they aren't bad, simply disappointing.

Cheerios Oat Crunch Cinnamon

Technically a leftover from last fall that I hadn't gotten around to eating, this addition to the Cheerios family tries to balance their own style with something similar to Honey Bunches. The value of this marriage of styles is really going to come down to the individual mostly due to the texture. My nephew for instance loves this stuff and practically goes through a box each week. To me the experience feels like eating wall insulation. The Cheerio bits are just fine mind you. It's the oats that give me grief by being mushy yet unyielding which left me hacking for a good 20 minutes after finishing a bowl. Given the difference of opinion these are getting a range rating of 2.5 to 4. If you don't mind the bits of oat gunk you'll likely fall on the higher end of that rating.

Cheez-It Snap'd

Taking a break from all the breakfast items we head over to the cracker aisle where we find the latest Cheez-It innovation. The new Snap'd line in theory is like Ritz Chips only these are awesome. There are three or four different flavors of which I've had two and both quickly became favorites. The double cheddar is a pure burst of cheesy goodness while the sour cream entry provides a more balanced flavor profile. I can't stress just how wonderful these are as they nearly negate the need for regular Cheez-It crackers. Not too salty or crunchy they provide a perfect balance of what you want from a good crunchy treat. Absolutely deserving of a perfect 5. The smell, taste, texture, even the packaging is well-done. I', declairing these chips will serve as the spirit animal of 2019.

That's all for tonight but don't you worry. I've already got more goodies waiting to be reviewed including some new Oreo cookies and Pop Tarts. Even better is the ample time available to get these articles done as the current crop of classes is much more laid back than the last grouping. For now I must leave you in order to search scholarly articles and hopefully not fall asleep in the process.

Lupinranger vs Patranger Episodes 40-44

When I was younger the month of January used to torment me as this big hole of nothing to start the year. As a grown-ass man, albeit one that spends his time reviewing foreign kids shows, I've begun to appreciate the month as the perfect opportunity to catch up on countless tasks. On the website front that means after weeks of holiday antics it's time to return to Sentai recaps. When last we spoke of Lupinranger vs Patranger the show had been spinning its wheels for months. Entering into the 40s the series finally answers some major questions and sets up the final battles to come. In order to make these big steps a few sub-plots are wrapped up in unceremonious fashion followed by something awesome. Let's cut to the chase shall we?

Episode 40 is largely one of those light comedy efforts though it finishes a character plot that had built up during the 30s. You may recall Kairi had become a bit of a bummer recently. When he wasn't infuriated by Kei reminding him of his brother he'd strike out on his own and neglect his team in the process. His closest friends have noticed the shift in his behavior and are further worried when his slacking at work worsens. The plan is to follow him around to figure out what he's up too. During the first tailing session a Gangler shows up that doesn't seem to accomplish much more than spread around some smoke.

Noel gets roped into subsequent tailing attempts where he observes that both Umika and Touma are worried about every little thing. Most of these situations are actually pretty funny with outlandish concepts like death from an explosive bird and stomach collision. This behavior is eventually revealed to be a result of the Gangler who can increase worries. The amount of energy his friends expend on his behalf shows Kairi that he has a better support system than he'd like to admit. He and Noel do most of the heavy lifting to take down the baddie of the week so we can get back to the important stuff.

Kairi's extra slacking is due to him taking care of a puppy while trying to find a home for the little bugger. He apologizes to his team for his recent antics but it's when they encounter the cops on their way to the bistro that he gets his act together and stops being such a dick to Keichiro. Much as I'm glad to see a sub-plot get resolved I can't help but wonder what was the point of this arc? I thought it might have been leading to a larger face-off between the teams or perhaps the character splitting from his team upon learning some deeper truth but as is it just feels like misdirection. At least this took care of the problem while giving us an entertaining enough installment.

Episode 41 begins a two-part story focused on Destra’s bid for power. The big pineapple man wants to take a shot at the boss's chair and his plan involves transporting the different rangers to the Gangler world where he can execute them properly. At the same time Tsukasa is trying to encourage Touma to be more social. He urges her to keep their relationship as a customer and patron thing which he remarks is somewhat for himself. Before he can elaborate the baddie attacks and both are sent to Gangler world.

From that point on it's a multi-pronged battle as the pair try to survive this harsh environment whole Kei and Sayaka try to get to Gangler world to rescue their friends and Noel and the remaining Lupinranger keep Destra occupied. There's a lot going on here such as Touma accidentally revealing some of his fighting and gun skills to keep Tsukasa safe while he also revealing how much he cares for his co-workers. At the same time Zamigo appears to help out the rescue crew as he has no intention of letting Destra have a victory. Speaking of the big guy, he proves capable of overcoming Kairi's recent upgrade that allows him to predict movement. Destra fights in such a direct and confident fashion that there's no deception or second-guessing to predict.

Eventually every ranger is back in the real world and fighting together where they realize that their opponent is crazy strong without the benefit of collection pieces. They use all their best toys to smack him down yet he still survives to fight another day. And that's when Gauche arrives to make him an offer.

Episode 42 is practically a battle-royal from scene one. Destra tags in Guache to help him fight Kairi and Noel in order to both kick their asses and steal some collection pieces for himself. I'm so glad to finally see the aspect of pieces being taken back put to good use. Now the already powerful villain has the ability to predict movements and control gravity which he celebrates by leveling an entire neighborhood.

This tragedy sends both teams into planing mode but one person is oddly missing. Noel was not only lightly injured during the first fight but Gauche scanned him with something that has made both him and Kogure nervous. That shady butler goes so far as to ask Noel to stay out of this which he foolishly does while the others head into battle. And what a fight it is. Each team plans on using the other by having the cops distract Destra while the thieves take his new toys. He proves too strong for that approach and beats them soundly. It all comes down to a big gambit where Kairi uses his magnum to propel himself through a gravity shield and prepare a finishing blow while Keichiro manages to recover the collection pieces. Noel finally decides he can't stay out of the fight and they all join their big robots together to save the day.

And so yet another sub-plot draws to a close and I have a similar complaint to the last one. What was the point of Destra? He never tied in to any other plot-lines or paved the way to a bigger threat. He was just a strong lapdog that eventually took a shot at the prize and lost. And his end comes very soon after the series had seemingly ushered in a sort of rivalry between him and Noel. It's as if the writers created this villain strictly to fill a role without any plans for what they could do with him. Perhaps something deeper will be revealed later. For now at least we can thank Destra for serving as a backdrop to a solid two-parter.

Episode 43 kickstarts yet another two-parter and this is the big one that answers some of the biggest questions the series has waved in front of us, namely, what is the deal with Noel and Kogure? It all begins with the return of Satoru from one of the video specials. Just my luck that after years of being trained to pay little mind to the movies and specials Toei would suddenly decide to make them matter. Anyway Satoru is the original green member of the Patranger crew who was injured on the job and eventually transferred to France. He’s back on special assignment to seek out the mole that’s been feeding the Ganglers information all this time. His number one suspect is Noel.

At the same time the Lupinrangers are dealing a rather bumbling Gangler who claims to be working in cahoots with Noel. This reaches a head when the cops confront their gold and silver friend in a meeting with said Gangler when Noel actually shoots at them. Adding to the confusion is Gauche’s revelation to the thieves that Noel isn’t even human. In the end, nobody knows what to believe and a ranger is on the run. While this all makes for a decent warm-up it’s a bit too obvious that there’s a frame-up at work with too many of the characters falling for it.

Episode 44 takes that somewhat wobbly beginning and turns it into possibly the best installment of the entire series. On one end we have the police struggling to deal with the idea that their comrade may have been a traitor this whole time. On the other are confrontations between the thieves, Noel, and Kogure that finally reveal the truth. The other dimension the Gangler’s come from was once home to people as well. After being drive from their homes by the monstrous criminals, Arsene Lupin took them in and offered them security and work. For Noel the master thief was something of a father figure whose loss lead the young man to joining the fight against the Gangler hordes.

Keichiro is also struggling to deal with the changes in his old friend, Satoru who is more cold and distant than he was in the past. Kei realizes that his friend uncharacteristically leaves behind his MP3 player that used to be a constant companion. The red cop pieces together that Satoru is actually a Gangler in disguise, worse still the actual Satoru is likely dead. It would seem that when creatures like Zamigo kidnap people they may end up used as disguises thanks to Gauche’s experiments. This particular impostor was able to use a collection piece that can control people bodies to make Noel attack his team. It doesn’t take long for our heroes to vent their frustration at the enemy and win the day. Noel finds himself accepted by both groups again though only the thieves know the full truth about him thus far.

This was an absolutely outstanding entry with some great cinematography and character moments. The rainy portions while a bit cliché were beautifully done and so many plot threads finally came to a point. The truth behind Noel and Kogure isn’t as interesting as I may have hopped but it was unexpected and created a reason for their past deceptions without making them villainous. Knowing that all the human disguises seen throughout the show were once living people adds some darkness to the experiments mentioned in the past while adding a ticking clock element to find the Lupinranger’s loved ones before they are used this way. Most of all I’m impressed to see a series make use of their video specials rather than leaving those as weird novelty adventures.

There are still more episodes to talk about so I figure we’ll have another recap very soon. Classes have started and so far it seems like I’ll have plenty of time to keep up around here so expect to see at least one new feature starting soon and a new approach to Sentai coverage once this show wraps up. Haven’t even had the chance to talk about the upcoming shows on that front yet. The franchise is switching to a one month mini-series in February before the new full show arrives in March. Not terribly excited by the newest theme but my fingers are crossed for the best as the production company is bringing in some outside talent to shake things up. One of the many things to look forward to this year. Gotta go finish a project, be back with you soon.

Goodbye 2018

Normally I don't bother with end of year articles as I find them tacky. Let's be honest though, 2018 was hardly a normal year. Right now it seems impossible the year is over already as there are still so many things to talk about. At the same time I'm relieved to have it over with, and hopeful for a fresh start. For every achievement and bit of enjoyment that happened these last twelve-months there were just as many baffling and frustrating developments so I decided for once we'd take a look at what went down all while taking a look at what's to come.

Real-Life:

Here's the area where everything seems sort of like a draw. I began the year by losing my security job, possibly the only employment that didn't drive me nuts. This created a financial black hole for the entire year but also opened up the option of returning to school. That in itself was a profoundly challenging task but here I am fresh off my first two classes and signed-up for the next four. During those months of set-up I worked towards expanding my online footprint with work for horrornews.net, made great strides in my interest in board game development, made a few home improvements, and had a decent number of adventures like my weird trip to Madison Wisconsin. On the flip side the family had to contend with constant health issues on both the human and animal front. One cat nearly died from bladder blockage while the older one developed thyroid issues. The brother-in-law had some mystery illness that turned out to be a rare dental condition. My mom likewise had hospital stays resulting from a mystery issue that turned out to be an inner-ear problem. If anything We've earned the right to celebrate a new year simply because we survived.

Moving forward my main personal goal is just to get through more school. Of course I wouldn't mind finally finding a spot that will pay me for some written content cause I really do need money. I'm still gonna work on board game development and novel writing when I can. I'd like to upgrade my transportation situation as well but that's a bit down the line.

For the first time in probably a decade I have an honest-to-god resolution. It's an achievable one as well. Ya know those big 50 packs of public domain movies? I've got a bunch of em that I've only taken s few bites out of. Starting in January I'm going to make them a regular part of my viewing habits. Even then I'll likely only finish one or two of them, but at least it's a start. This plays into another thing I'm considering which is restarting my cable-access show. There's still a lot to study and work out before this could even be a possibility. At best the show could launch in the Summer. I'm hesitant to bring it up should the project flatline but if it does come to pass then it could crossover into the site and possibly lead to a few improvements on that front.

Gaming:

If nothing else this year offered plenty of opportunities to fit in a lot more video games than usual. In fact a good bit of fun came from furthering my classic gaming interests and fitting in plenty of oldies but goodies like Super Metroid, and loads of old-school beat-em ups. I made time for big modern games as well and few things did more to keep this year on track than Yakuza 6 and Dragon Quest XI.

I don't even want to think about video games for next year as there are already so many from 2018 I've yet to play. And that's on the consoles I own. If I'm ever lucky enough to get a switch I'll likely grow into my chair.

Tabletop gaming was sadly not as much of a draw for the past few seasons. To a certain extent this was due to lacking funds and space but it also felt like companies were getting sort of lazy this year. Sure there were tons of games, too many actually, and some really interesting ones like Keyforge and Azul: Stained Glass of Sintra. By and large most stuff that came out just felt sort of hallow and standard issue with bloated mechanics and boring themes. Honestly the best doses of fun came from titles that came from before 2018 like Yokohama or La Isla. Not sure where this hobby will end up in the coming months, possibly it will quet down even more as school demands more time.

Movies and TV:

There were a surprising number of actually decent films this year ranging from some major Marvel efforts to the first decent Halloween sequel in decades. As usual I've yet to find that one film I'd label as my absolute favorite, far too many still to see before making that choice. Yet of any movie going adventure the most memorable was possibly going to see Solo. Unlike the last few Star Wars movies I saw this one a few days after it's release due to my returning home from the Madison trip. It was still a day or two before getting the kitty back from the emergency vet and a trio of myself, brother-in-law and nephew went to check out the flick on a quiet Monday night showing. Unlike those massive shared experiences of the other films this felt intimate and cozy. Heading to Steak n Shake for fatty intake afterwards made a perfect therapy to counteract the stress of travel and near cat loss. It may not be a beloved film but that night was a solid time at the cinema.

Television was more of a mixed bag with me cutting ties with several shows to save time for school which felt even bigger with Agents of Shield going on an extra long break and The Originals ending. Thankfully there were still a few highlights to warm up too. We're all aware of how much I've enjoyed Lupinranger vs Patranger even if it has wasted too much time on filler. Then there was the excellence of Daredevil season 3, the joys of Hulu picking up King of the Hill after Adult swim lost it. Legacies has so far been a fine continuation of CW's attractive monster universe. And of course there's the best show of the whole year, Joe Pera Talks with You. Can't tell you how long it's been since I've seen a show this wonderful and comforting. It's the sort of thing that helps restore your faith in the world. God, we never got into my fairly recent obsession with Tubi and all the treasure hiding on there.

In the new year I'd like to write more overviews and tributes to old TV favorites along with the Sentai recaps which should finally get a new format. Movie wise I'm looking forward to vast supply of movies tailored to me from the three Marvel efforts, Episode IX, two new Godzilla efforts, Glass, US, gonna be spending a lot of time in theater seats.

Music and Books:

2018 Christmas Haul.

Two areas that suffered a bit this year, one from finances, the other energy. I feel blessed to have the moderate record set-up that I do but I'm beginning to fall behind on releases because they cost too damn much. On the other end of the spectrum I haven't read a book for pure entertainment value since our last Star Wars review. The sheer amount of reading and writing for classes totally removed any urge to crack open a book for fun. Should I be able to return to reading those books I have found a way to keep that feature running. A good thing as I'm intrigued by the oncoming batch of pre Phantom Menace era novels. Hopefully some easier classes and aims for more cash will restore these two hobbies.

Overall:

As I said earlier, this year has been a challenge with a few highlights and achievements but the real excitement is 2019.Perhaps nearing the conclusion of major pop-culture movements like Avengers: Endgame and Star Wars IX along with more serious matters like hopefully getting better leadership will make people work a bit more towards the future. My primary focus is school and getting finances restored but there's a good dozen other projects on the table. That's going to make judging the success of the coming year difficult as there could be anywhere from a couple to a crap-load of changes.

There's a ton to look forward to in 2019. This site will have its sixth anniversary and breach the 300 post mark, I'm gonna try and wrap up as many long-term goals as I can. The hope is not only that I can improve over the year but that this place can grow and continue to bring a little fun to you all out there. And take this opportunity to offer some advice on what sort of content you'd like to see in the future. Are there any items you'd like to see covered? Anything you'd like to see dropped? Whatever the case I'm glad to have you all as a readership. Hope you survived the madness of 2018 and are pumped for everything to come. Happy new year to you all.

The Juggler of Notre Dame (1982) and Holiday Treats.

Among my points of pride is the ability to both find and integrate bizarre entertainment into family holiday traditions. How many other families do you know that make a point of viewing P2 and the Everything is Terrible Holiday Special for their Christmas gatherings? Even with my ever expanding encyclopedia of strange festive viewing I can still be surprised, such as earlier this week when my oldest sister brought up memories of an old TV special. She thankfully remembered the title which meant it didn't take long to hunt down, and thanks to Amazon Prime we were soon viewing on of the most head-scratching Christmas specials I've seen in some time called The Juggler of Notre Dame.

As far as background is concerned there's very little to be found. It is a modernized (as of the early 80s) retelling of an old Christmas tale with a fair share of additional wrinkles. The thing is only an hour long which leads me to believe it was made for a programming block like Hallmark Hall of Fame or Wonderful World of Disney but so far I've been unable to track the point of origin. The betamax tape I found on ebay was distributed by Buena Vista which leads some credence to the latter theory. Outside of that I can tell you it was directed by a man who spent nearly his whole career in television and stars an actual juggler along with Melinda Dillon of A Christmas Story and Close Encounters fame. If anybody has some deeper information on the project, please share. For now let's move onto the story proper.

Right off the bat we're treated to slow-motion juggling accompanied by some terrible music. I really can't stress how bad the music is for anyone who takes an interest in viewing this in full. Anyway our juggler is named Barnaby and he lives on the street, preforming his act to make a cheap buck whenever possible. He soon attracts the attention of a fellow homeless man named Sparrow who believes Barnaby's juggling skills to be a profound gift from god. Before long the pair begin to travel together putting on shows to support themselves as Sparrow learns and hones his own juggling skills.

While the pairs friendship grows Barnaby still can't get over the tragic events that lead to his life as a bum. He used to be a major entertainer in the circus until his wife fell to her death during a trapeze act. This loss is supposed to be all the more dramatic as a man who's entire livelihood is based around catching things couldn't catch her. I'm not being sarcastic, the damn show actually makes a point of this. Still, things are looking up thanks to this new friendship. That is until one night when some other bums rob Barnaby and Sparrow, the latter of which tries to retrieve the money only to be stabbed to death in the process.

Alone again, Barnaby throws his juggling equipment into the river and walks the Earth as an empty shell of a man. That is until he walks by some guy who offers him a spot as his new sculpture model, sounds totally legitimate. This artist is part of a community working on restoring an old church with his statue of the Virgin Mary as the centerpiece, and of course being this story the statue looks just like Barnaby's dead wife.

The next twenty-odd minutes are spent with Barnaby living among this community of people who cannot stop obsessing over how sad and broken their new acquaintance is. The worst offender is Melinda Dillon as the sculptor's sister who takes any opportunity to bag on Barnaby and treat him like a total shitbag. This just keeps going with one conversation after another as these people brag about their faith while Barnaby understandably acts disinterested.

By this point I'm assuming you're asking the same question that I was while watching this special. That question being what the hell does any of this have to do with Christmas? Thus far there has been zero sign of lights, songs, cheer, or snow for that matter as it's painfully obvious this was filmed in California. Instead we've been treated to an ample amount of circus PTSD and hobo stabbings. The final act makes it all clear as the community makes a point of creating a display around the Virgin Mary statue on Christmas Eve with everyone making some kind of offering to it. Barnaby plans to leave that night as he has no faith nor anything to offer. Even so he goes by the statue before leaving where he is greeted by the ghost of Sparrow. Despite being recently murdered the guy's in a pretty upbeat mood and gives Barnaby this whole speech about how he needs to juggle again and share his magical gift with the world. There's also a fair share of platitudes about there being love in the world and how Jesus still loves Barnaby, despite all evidence to the contrary. That's when the set of juggling tools that had been previously tossed in the river appear at the feet of the statue.

Finally Barnaby begins to perform his act for the statue. He juggles pins and balls, balances spinning plates on large forks held in his mouth, guy pulls out the entire act. Some kids see him from afar and go to gather the other characters so they can witness. As everyone gathers round to watch shit gets extra crazy as the statue comes to life and gifts Barnaby with a rose. This isn't in his mind either, everybody sees it happen. Credits roll and I sit there dumbfounded at what we've just witnessed.

Turns out this a major over-complication of the original tale where the juggler is a monk, thus his lack of anything to offer. His fellow monks judge his juggling act as blasphemy until the statue offers him a rose thus extolling the virtues of giving whatever you can. There's no redemption arc, dead wives, or bum fights to worry about in that version. Still; even with the awful music and low production values this is enough of a strange novelty that I just have to share with you all out there. There's plenty of avenues to hunt it down too as it is available to stream, has some video uploads on the web, and somehow managed a DVD release. It's not something I'd recommend as quality viewing so much as a weird experience and conversation piece.

I was lucky enough to recover from this special with another outing to search for holiday goodies and while most of what I brought home is decent enough I may have found the best under the radar snack of the whole season. Looking at that stash there's some good beer, and decent tic-tacs, but those Voortman Gingerbread Wafers are far and away the best thing I've come across all month. Their biggest strength is that they somehow get better with each bite. That first taste is a little shocking as these are made with real ginger, but then the second nibble comes across as smother and sweater, and that experience continues into the third and fourth chomp. It doesn't take much effort to find yourself five wafers deep with no plans to stop. What worries me is that I don't know how far the Voortman brand reaches into the U.S. So I have no way of knowing how many of you can realistically get these. For those that have the opportunity however these are totally worth braving a busy store for.

Also of note for my holidays is that I was finally able to complete a personal mission. It's been bugging me that my family has never owned any plastic blow-mold decorations for any holiday. The goal was to change that fact but so many stores didn't want to comply with this plan as the likes of Wal-Mart, Meijer, and Target didn't even bother to stock any form of blow-mold. Of all things it was home-improvement chain, Menards that saved the day with their dutch auction sale giving me the chance to nab the last Noel candle for just over 12 bucks. Not only that but I was able to bring home a strand of big old C9 bulbs, or as I refer to them used car lot lights. Now the front door is properly outlined in a festive glow.

That's all for tonight, kids. Hopefully I can get back to you with one more Christmas post to help make your season a little more fun. Tonight I'm gonna have a little break with some beer and some of those essential Christmas horror flicks like Silent Night, Bloody Night. If I'm not back by Tuesday then I wish you all a merry Christmas. Do let me know if you encounter any animated statues.

Stadium of Lights and Holiday Snacks

It never ceases to amaze how each iteration of a holiday has a unique style and mood to it. Some are easy, laid back affairs while others take on that perfect mix of atmosphere and emotional depth. Then there’s the one’s that sort of limp along. Those are the ones that require a little extra prodding to keep moving. Sadly that seems to be the mood of this season. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are still plenty of happy families enjoying their holiday it just seems like a number of people are responding with a confused shrug in regards to seasonal enjoyment. Seeing as the endurance test of school left me with precious little of the season to enjoy, I’ve gone into overdrive in an attempt to make this Christmas count for something.

As soon as I wrapped up the final test of the year it was time to get my butt over to Cooley Law Stadium, home of the Lansing Lugnuts. If you’ve never heard of the team, don’t worry, just know this is a minor league baseball local. The reason for visiting in the middle of December is that Shawhaven Farm, otherwise known for putting on an excellent haunted attraction, joined up with Lansing to put on a holiday light show at the stadium. This seemed like the perfect opportunity to stretch my holly jolly legs as Christmas outings aren’t very common for our family and at only five bucks a person the risk was relatively low.

Upon entering we were greeted by a display of animated singing tress which set the tone for the place. Pretty much everything is timed to music which turned out to be both a pro and con. The nice part is that whenever you reach a fine perch there was likely to be multiple objects dancing to their own tune. The problem is the pockets where those songs meet and how bad some of the choices are. Some trees singing Beach Boys material ain’t so bad until it’s in direct conflict with Let it Go echoing from the diamond. Mercifully there’s enough open air for most of this noise pollution to dissipate providing the opportunity to focus on the lights and people.

And what of the lights themselves? Well they were solid with different displays of regular strands along with themed displays like the twelves days of Christmas, and even a few inflatables to fill in some bald spots. Even so there were a few spots that left a little to be desired. Take what we referred to as the Hanukkah corner for example, it seems positively barren compared to areas like the main walkway.

There were two ways to explore the show, one is of course walking which we did for our first go-around, the other actually made those less interesting spots less problematic. We're talking about a cheap version of the polar express, actually it was a tractor with some carts behind it but this provides a quicker means of bouncing between the separate ends of the stadium. The conductor was absolutely high on holiday bliss, I’d guess schnapps. Far ore likely his mind had snapped from hearing the same line-up of songs a thousand times over. The different sections he could drop us off at included activities like fire pits, a letter writing station for kids to get in touch with Santa, and drink stations for everything from cocoa to the hard stuff.

Approaching the exit I noticed something familiar yet out of place. Remember how Shawhaven is known for their haunted attraction? Part of that is a group of animated singing light monsters which were on display here only with Santa hats to make them seasonally appropriate. This felt like the perfect way to respect the full scope of the holidays. We don’t often think of it amid all the rush of December but our celebration truly began months ago when we were picking up plastic skeletons and severed hands to display around the house. From then on it was a whirlwind of slasher-flicks, turkey, parades, and malfunctioning lights. To see this idea personified in such a tacky fashion really brings home how much the last quarter of the year is connected and why it's always the best time to be alive. Kinda makes me want to dress a pumpkin in a diaper and call it baby new year.

The light show made for a decent way to kickstart my celebratory spirit but I still needed fuel to keep that fire burning so I went off in search of snacks and novelties to nourish my regained jolly outlook. Lucky me our next stop got me off to a good start with Red Bull Winter Edition. I'm not usually big on this brand but this one could grow on me. The flavor is something like if you watered down regular Red Bull and then added melted gummy bears to pep it up. This bizarre combo comes across as both flavorless and incredibly sweet at the same time and imparts a neat wintry feeling in the process. While definitely not for everyone I'd like to pick up a few more cans for those nights that require a festive touch.

Next up was Target which didn't provide everything I was looking for, still can't find Entenmenn's gingerbread crème rolls anywhere. What I did find was still good enough to satisfy my needs. Possibly the crown jewel of this stash are the cinnamon chocolate milano cookies. Oh my god these are just great. I've never encountered a milano this fulfilling. In the candy arena we have Hot Cocoa M&M's which live up to their name as they taste like a decent cup of Swiss Miss with the little marshmallows. I suppose your enjoyment will depend on how much you enjoy basic cocoa flavor. After that is gingerbread Life cereal which returns this year and is still good, just nowhere near as awesome as their pumpkin spice variety. Lastly I brought home some gingerbread coffee from Archer Farms. Still not sure how I feel about this roast. After my first cup I would say no, don't bother. The second day I thought a bit better of it. It seems like one of those flavors that can be good given the right mood but is otherwise sort of underwhelming.

In the days following my release from the toils of school I've been putting up more lights, turning on more holiday viewing, and doing what little Christmas shopping I can on a tight budget. Also managed to outline the garage in lights for the first time ever and finally put up the Christmas village. The family has gotten in the spirit as well by adding LED candles to the eye holes on the Krampus mask. While I still get the impression this is sort of a blah year for many people it's nice to see the little adventures still hold their appeal. If you're feeling a bit down and out you should go in search of something like this light show or failing that scour some different stores in search of some new snacks to fill your belly. The experience might just do wonders for your outlook. Also keep your eyes open as I hope to get in a couple more Christmas posts completed by next Tuesday. Till then be good boys and girls.