Halloween Aftermath 2019, Medievil, and Voodew.

At this moment I'm laying in bed at an hour far past any reasonable bedtime, a phenomenon likely due to teeter-totter of physical labor and deep sleep that is my early November. For as much as I'd wanted to slip in one more update during October it simply wasn't a possibility within the ensuing whirlwind of activity. And much as some of you may want me to move onto some different topics there are still a few Halloween related items that simply must be touched on. If you'd be so kind as to allow an old man his ramblings I'd like to cover some Halloween aftermath.

As always the conclusion of October brought plenty of joy mixed with the proper amount of melancholy. It was a massive season for me with it feeling like an eternity ago when I was posting about the likes of Maple Creme Oreo, The New Kids, and Tallow Glee. Even the antics of The Addams Family menu at IHOP seem like a relic from another era. That's the mark of a good season though, when you're still sad to see it go but so close to being sick of it that the clean-up is almost guaranteed to be refreshing. Just like every year this one wasn't without its share of flaws or missed adventures, never went on an adventure to a big haunted house for example, opting instead for the local courthouse showing. Some of those incomplete tasks were handled in the beginning of November such as finally getting to play a couple rounds of Ghosts.

During the build-up to the 31^st I'd been indulging in some of those token items that help to make autumn better than the other seasons. Had plenty of cider and donuts, chugged a fair-share of pumpkin ale, and went for a nighttime walk in the woods. Well... in the park is more accurate but the activity of strolling through the near pitch-black pathways while leaves rustle all around you makes for such a marvelous cheap thrill.

One item I'd been looking forward to this year, and almost feared I'd have to skip given shoddy finances, is the remake of old PS1 favorite, Medievil. Way back when the original came out I instantly fell in love with it to the point that it became a customary inclusion of October activities for the following six or seven years. You can understand then the interest in this remake which has gained some very silly press coverage. Knowing that the development team was remaining faithful to the original design meant I fully expected some negative reviews claiming it to be outdated. What I didn't expect was the number of folks saying the game is too hard. One reviewer even compared it to the Dark Souls franchise. Never played that series but the comparison is making me think modern gamers really can't play for shit. Medievil's difficulty has always been unbalanced with a couple of choke points but it's far from hardcore.

Regarding the merits of the remake itself the development team managed to bring back much of what made the original so lovely with enough alterations to keep things interesting. It's all small stuff mind you, slight changes to boss battles, some control differences, and the occasional timing change for platforms and puzzles. Most of it is very welcomed with only a few differences leading to distress. Personally I missed the original contact sounds and reactions found in the pools of the ancient dead. Likewise I struggled with the new placements for the guard and jump buttons for the first few hours. Still the overall effect was as intended with waves of nostalgic bliss as I tore through the old playground of Gallowmere slashing through hordes of monsters. Best of all the game lasted into this month and acted as an ointment for the post holiday blues.

Another topic I'd pushed back throughout the season was Mtn Dew Voodew. This mystery-flavor offering from the folks at Dew started to show up in August but for whatever reason was a real pain to get for some of us. In my case I could only consistently find it as the local Family Dollar, and only in bottled form. Never once did I find the twelve pack of cans no matter how many stores I checked out. Let this serves as the round of applause for dollar stores as one of the true pillars of Halloween. As to that mystery-flavor; most say it's Skittles, a minority claims orange-cream, after drinking a few bottles I can see the value in both arguments. No doubt there's a Skittles vibe in here but I can also taste a smooth orange component in there as well. It's neither the best nor worst Dew but an excellent seasonal treat all the same. I'd love to see the Voodew concept continue with further years bringing new mysteries, so long as the company remembers to bring back Pitch-Black as well.

Halloween night proper proved to be quite memorable largely due to some nutty weather. All the preparation went well and I had plenty of helpers on hand to entertain the crowds but wet, snowy, windy weather cut the usual turnout down by a good chunk. Now I've gotta get a bunch of leftover candy to different charities. Even with the reduced activity there were still plenty of folks taking pictures with my fellow monsters, admiring the decorations, and a neighbor even informed us that the house makes her happy. When you're feeling betrayed by the greater forces at work it's a real boost to see folks enjoying the result of all this work. Plus the imagery of the night was unforgettable with snow slowly piling on our shoulders under a blue-tinted sky contrasted against the blazing orange of pumpkin light.

So how was this season? Well, it was unique to say the least. There were plenty of aspects that played out smoothly and provided tons of fun. On the flip-side there were a number of weird challenges mainly on the retail front with store either pushing their items too slowly or too quickly with weird pricing and poor stock. Plus it seemed like some people couldn't be bothered to think about all the glorious aspects of the season. Can't really blame them with it being the end of a decade. Even I catch myself looking to 2020 for all the potential promise it brings with it. In the here and now though it was a season that demanded a little more fight and gumption than usual and that's what made it unique, right down to the snowy finish.

After a night of candy and horror films came the massive clean-up job as I spent four days dismantling and packing away hundreds of decorations. In the process I battled countless spiders and nearly broke a against a sewing machine. There was a brief moment of serenity to be found when taking down the hanging ghouls from the tress. One particular pumpkin man waved in the wind just right against the evening sky in a way that felt as if the season was saying a farewell. Something about that moment made the end of Halloween feel alright, as if a friend were leaving with promises to return soon.

With all the ghosts and goblin packed away, and the reward for my surviving being some new Thanksgiving and Christmas gear, we can move on with proper November business. There are cinematic turkeys to discuss, Super Sentai to catch up with, and plenty of early Christmas shenanigans to indulge in. As always I want to thank all you fine readers for putting up with months of Halloween obsession, and hope you'll share some stories of your holiday. We've got tons to talk about in these last two months of the year so expect to see plenty of posts here in the coming weeks.

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Trick or Treat

For all the shade I cast on the 1990s there is one aspect of that decade I wouldn’t change for the world, television. From American Gladiators to The X-Files with everything like Brisco County Jr and The Critic in-between it was a time for some great tube. For a kind obsessed with TV there were countless hours of pure viewing bliss available. Being a kid however meant there were two key forces competing for attention, Nick and Fox, the latter of which changed the game when they delivered Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. A bizarre mixture of poorly written teenage antics mixed with the colorful action of Japanese tokusatsu had a pull over kids that still exists to this day if not nearly as strong. Naturally as a boy in just the right age range I was hooked from moment one, and though I eventually bailed on the franchise (somewhere around Zeo) it inspired a love for toku along with crafting memories that last to this day. We all know there's one thing better than a favorite old show and that's holiday episodes. Yep, all that preamble was just to announce that I wanna talk about a Power Rangers Halloween episodes, well sorta.

Funny thing about memories is how much they bend to the will of deductive reasoning. For years after I’d stopped watching Power Rangers I remembered that fun Halloween episode where they fought a giant pumpkin. Most of that memory held true except that it actually wasn’t a legit holiday ep and originally aired in May! This was an odd tradition for the series with multiple installments matching the holiday in every way other than the important detail of actually being based in October. Even so Trick or Treat still has more than enough fun little touches to rank among more legit Halloween specials thanks to the likes of pumpkins, fog, costumes, and a grown-ass man in a cheap Dracula cape.

The episode begins innocently enough with every Americans boys childhood crush, Kimberly doing one of her gymnastic routines before informing some of her friends that's been selected to appear as a contestant on a show called Trick or Treat where she will attempt to win a new car. Tommy informs the audience that this is America's most popular game-show. Above all else this is the sort of fantasy that makes this episode endearing. The thought that America’s favorite game show would be entirely themed around Halloween. For a kid the basic idea was purest mana. Who wouldn’t love a syndicated dose of ghostly games every weekday? Damn thing would be like a regularly scheduled appointment with a mood table. The conversation soon turns to wonderment of who her opponent might be which seems like a foolish waste of time when there's only around nine primary human characters in this show and I'm fairly certain Ernie isn't allowed to leave the juice bar. Sure enough Kim will be competing against her frequent sexual harasser, Skull. What's worse is she won't be able to rely on boy toy, Tommy who has to attend a karate championship across town.

Meanwhile on the moon a horrible witch and her platoon of space goblins discuss schemes involving the planting of evil pumpkin seeds. I love to imagine a world where someone tunes into this show with zero knowledge of the basic premise only to witness a scene like this and scratch their head in equal parts astonishment and confusion.

Now it's time for Trick or Treat. Remember that this is supposedly the biggest game show in the whole country, Jeopardy be damned. The concept is contestants ask host, Monty Conte trick questions. Should they put one over on him they earn a point and the chance to play games of physical dexterity... kinda. For instance Kim plays a wheel of misfortune game that consists of her just being strapped to a wheel and spun around. My guess is she loses if she hurls. By comparison Skull's game makes significantly more sense as he must climb a rope web to collect large rubber bugs before a spider prop swings in and vomits foam in his face. A whole lot of this game seems to revolve around puke. Call me crazy but either the idea of this game-show being highly regarded is total crap or the population of the Power Ranger universe is far less picky about their entertainment.

In order to keep the viewers from loosing interest the entire game-show segment is frequently interrupted by the solo adventures of Tommy who stumbles across a rotten pumpkin patch, in a public park mind you, before causally strolling off. Feeling the need to expose their handiwork the villains sick some putty patrolers on our lamebrained hero. From that point on the audience is treated suffers whiplash between game segments and hair-metal guitar solos while Tommy demonstrates just how many roundhouses he can perform in a row. It's jarring, stupid, and god help me, hilarious. What's better is after smiting his foes Tommy calls up Zordan to report on Rita's pumpkin patch of eternal evil only for Zordan to report back that he already knows about it, what the hell man, and for Tommy to just mosey along to his karate match. These are the people responsible for the safety of planet Earth.

Returning to the Kim's storyline, What Trick or Treat lacks as a game show premise it makes up for with presentation. Monty Conte hosts from a gravestone podium equipped with electric candles which I swear will one day be the basis for a mood table. His co-host is one-half bride of Frankenstein and one-half Elivra. There are pumpkins, fog, and poor lighting choices ahoy. Best of all both the contestants and audience members must attend in-costume.

Let's run a costume contest here. Honestly I'd place Kimberly at the bottom of the list as her pink princess outfit is both generic and a bit of an eyesore. Next up is Billy who's costume is decent but doesn't quite match with his comrades who were clearly aiming for a three musketeers group effort. Instead he looks like a blue playwright. Bulk comes in a little higher by attempting the difficult task of being an overweight toilet-paper mummy. He manages to pull it but it's still a trashy costume. Zack and Jason tie for their musketeers suits. Trini comes out swinging in a midriff bearing genie costume, good on you sister. Without a doubt the winner is Skull whose prisoner outfit includes allusions to Jean Valjean in a stunning bit of cultural awareness for a show where teenagers kick space-monsters.

Speaking of kicks, it's finally time for the thing every kid really tuned-in to see, some action. Zordon finally calls in the kids about the evil pumpkin issues, despite said fruit doing nothing of note so far, which results in Kimberly having to forfeit the game to go save the world. Zipping over to the command center the teens are informed that the pumpkins can attach to a persons head rendering them incapable of sight or the ability to breath. Naturally upon arrival at the pumpkin path four of the rangers immediately place the deadly gourds next to their heads to investigate which, as expected, leads to them slowly dying from fruit-based asphyxiation. As the only power ranger not dumb enough to tempt fate it's up to Kimberly to provide fruit surgery to her friends.

With the four dullards out of danger it's time for the next phase of battle consisting of two whole rounds of new pumpkinheaded putties (oh my Christ have I used the word pumpkin a lot). More than anything this scene reminds me why I was so enamored with this series. Here's a group of proactive teenagers clad in skintight colorful dinosaur costumes using martial-arts to take out gourdmen from beyond the moon all while awesome metal music blats through the speakers. It's heaven through the filter of an 11-year-old boy drunk on his mothers wine-coolers.

After slaughtering a forty or so putties the team can finally tackle the big bad of the week, a monster legendary for its tacky nature, The Pumpkin Rapper. As the name implies he's a pumpkin, who spits mad rhymes, and has a tendency for tying people up, points for double-meaning in the name. Despite warnings from Zordon that this monster distracts people with rhymes all five heroes stand allow the beast to make a mockery of basic English all while disarming them and engaging in his twisted pastime of plant-bondage. Time to call in Tommy to save the day which causes him to forfeit his karate tournament. Quite efficiently in fact as the fight only lasts another thirty-seconds or so upon his arrival.

In a rare twist there is no giant-robot battle in this episode. The reason for this stems from the footage source. After the producers ran out of usable Super Sentai footage they managed to convince Toei to film brand-new fight scenes which are commonly refereed to as Zyu2. Only some of this material was used due to issues like being too violent, suggestive, or even sacrilegious, and in this case the giant fight was shelved until a later episode where it got recut with footage featuring different robots which is an absolute mess. Regardless of senseless usage this fight, like most Zyu2 battles, was some of the most enjoyable nonsense to ever appear on this series.

Evil vanquished it's time tom move onto the moral of the story. Tommy and Kim both mope about their shared losses until realizing they don't have to win in order to feel like winners, though it'd certainly help. That's when Bulk and Skull arrive to show off the new wheels. Their triumph doesn't last long before a woman claiming to be a producer arrives and claims they are to be stripped of their winnings due to cheating and takes off with their ride. I should note the producer never actually provides proof of her identity and could just be a great thief. Or maybe that's just how things work in Angel Grove, making it the one place where claiming to be a boob inspector is guaranteed to nab you some action. As is customary of so many episodes, Bulk endures physical injury when his mummy costume is caught in the car door as the “producer” speeds away. Everyone has a hearty laugh at the injured chubby guy and the credits roll, man this show is twisted.

All things considered, Trick or Treat is a pretty stupid piece of television. Even so it still has the power to instill some real seasonal spirit into the viewer. It hearkens back to a time when you didn't sweat Halloween details like building decorations or buying the bucket of batteries required to make them run flawlessly. It's entertainment for those who are at the mercy of someone else's checkbook. Those who adore small gifts from outside sources such as the existence of pumpkin putties. This show can still provide that tiny rush of gratefulness so long as you can tolerate or enjoy the dumber aspects of the show. I for one love the feeling this late in the month when it fills like there's so little time to enjoy all that's left. Not unlike smelling the roses it can pay to watch a girl in pink spandex punch fruit off her dumb friends heads. May we never forget such simple pleasures.

Halloween Season 2019: Snacks and Decorating Tips

We're currently in the home stretch of Halloween with less than two weeks before the big day. This is often the time when many folks begin to either panic that there isn't enough time left to enjoy, or those sad few who decide not to even bother. Things can begin to feel a bit off with stores already shoving pumpkins and black cats off the shelves to make way for trees and reindeer yet this is usually when the most outright Halloweeny antics occur. These are the days when you visit haunted houses, throw together a costume, and bust out the extra spiffy decorations that couldn't be left out the whole month long. It also means I've still got a stash of topics to cover in short-order. Which means it's time for a sampler of candy and snack reviews along with some goings-on and decorating tips from the CosmicSparky household.

One of my big to-dos this year was to build and improve on some of my decorations, a major one being the pvc mannequins I made years ago. The two of them have seen spotty usage at best due to the difficulty of keeping them upright in a windy neighborhood. rebar was too weak while some of my largest ground stakes require surveys to properly place. So this year I finally pieced together some stands so these monsters can be upwardly mobile and spend time hanging out on the front porch.

For anyone who's never attempted to make one of these mannequins the basics aren't too difficult. Don't expect detailed instructions as there are better sources for such things and I'm one shady handyman. You need some PVC pipes (2/3 sized in this case) with enough joints and bends to create a human shape. This is where a lot of customization can come into play with some folks sticking to straightforward design while others use articulated joints which essentially makes a giant action figure. The level of detail depends on what you want to do and how much additional support you may need for factors like wind. In the future I plan on including stronger pelvises to reduce tipping. For a base you'll need a nice flat board, say a 2x10 along with floor flanges and at least six inch nipples to slide into the PVC legs. Craftsmanship sure is pervy ain't it? Girth can be added to the mannequins via chicken wire, old newspaper, or taping a bunch of plastic bags around core areas. Then you dress the beasts using items like packaging tape and clothing pins to keep their paints up and supply a head roped with a mask. Some use actual foam heads whereas my broke ass uses milk jugs.

Since I'd be leaving them out longer than normal I wasn't so keen on using my own cloths. Luckily I came across some cheap prom tuxes at a thrift store which means my ghouls are positively styling as they guard the front porch. So far the results have been stellar with a couple people being spooked by them and my cat having a spasm while running to meet me as he found himself suddenly next to a Frankenstein monster.

Let's move over to candy for a spell. Zombie Skittles are one of the easier snacks to find this year which resulted in them sitting in my candy stash for over a month before digging in. The other reason for the delay was getting the right group setting going cause, let's face it, the candy version of Russian Roulette is meant to be shared. At least a dangerous game of chance is how these are advertised given the existence of random rotten zombie flavored Skittles. In truth the zombie ones failed to live up to their threat level to the point that I was unsure if mine was zombiefied or not. Much as I was expecting these to be a full-on stunt like what Jones Soda used to do for Thanksgiving they turned out to be fairly tasty candy that occasionally dips into being kinda gross. If you've been holding off for fear of zombie flavor I assure you the other flavors are good enough to be worth your time. One factor I do take issue with is the packaging. Out of all the spooky designs and colors to choose from, boring silver doesn't scream fun spooky candy.

Despite my earlier warning not always follow my handyman instructions I'd like to share two of my best tips from years of going overboard. First is zip ties. Whether you're hanging, framing, or reinforcing these babies provide strength and leave room for adjustments. Better yet is the added security that comes with a good zip tie. Few folks walk around with the proper tools to undue them nor do they want to stand in the open or potentially break their ill-gotten prize. Second are pegboard hooks. Each of these is worth several of the weakling stakes that regularly accompany decorations. There are a number of items in the yard that lean or tip when left to standard stakes but pegboards have enough weight and bend to keep them dug in deep. If you're the kind who finds themselves customizing or reinforcing gravestones and fences you can save so much maintenance with just a handful of these lovelies.

Returning to food we must talk about Ultimate Cheddar Doritos. Upon first inspection there is absolutely nothing to suggest these chips have anything to do with Halloween. Let's be real though, these may be the perfect holiday snack. Think about it, everybody loves a good chip during a celebration, overbearing cheese flavor is one of the greatest sensations known to mankind, and orange is the official color of the season, and I assure you few things are as orange as this bag and its contents. Blessed with an extra thick coating of cheese powder these exist as the meeting point between Doritos and a more potent cheese cracker. The result is so rich it's almost criminal. My Doritos adoring nephew actually thought these were a little gross but there's no hesitation on my part. Should I be so lucky as to find another bag before Halloween, very hard to find so far, I will save it for the 31^st.

While adulthood brings a fair share of awful with it there are still some perks like spooky beer that almost worth the frustration. Thus far I've seen little in the way of new pumpkin ales though the constant onslaught of craft beer has lead to a few drinks that match the season despite being regular offerings. Southern Tier's Cold Press Coffee Pumpking is a returning flavor that kicks like a mule. Traditional Pumpking is essentially pumpkin pie in a bottle but the addition of coffee makes for one dank drink that practically stripes your mouth. Not a fan of the overwhelming selection of IPA's out there but Batsquach from Rogue brewing company managed to win me over by using fruit juice to offset the usual IPA doldrums. Really tasty stuff on its own which only gets better with can art good enough to be a decoration. Finally there's Violin Monster from Arbor Brewing Company. I believe this is named in respect of a Ann Arbor resident who plays the instrument while wearing a werewolf costume. If so the lad should feel honored with this incredibly dark and strong concoction. This stuff is nine-and-a-half percent alcohol and is so dark it nearly swallows all ambient light. Highly recommend just so long as you're careful with it.

Last year I missed out on the fireworks following the last home game of the season. Granted that was due to me helping a local game store and nabbing some nice store-credit in the process but the ability to hang out in my own backyard for a free fireworks show was all the sweater this year. One couldn't have asked for a better night with temps in the fifties along with minimal clouds and only a weak breeze. So much about holidays can change based on where you live. I may not have the advantage of nearby parades or parties, haven't even been to a Spirit store, but there's some real comfort in being able to stand in the backyard wearing an old-man robe and knocking back scotch on a late October night while fireworks are reflected in the quarry pond. For as much as our holidays consist of shared experiences it's always good to savor those bits that are just for us.

Guess that's enough aimless affirmations for one post. In case you couldn't guess, I've been a bit scatterbrained fitting in as much as possible before the season is out. As always I want to remind you all out there that it's impossible to fit in everything but it's important to just do what you can. Maybe you only have enough time for a walk through the park and carving a single pumpkin. That's aces and you shouldn't feel sorry for it. The point of a holiday is to break out of our normal cycle even if just for a couple hours. If need be then live vicariously through others. I plan to help you do just that with a few more posts to come before the month is out.

Halloween Book Sale 2019

If there's any kind of universal force among bloggers it's that each of us has a recurring feature we write more for ourselves than any attempt at gaining fans. In all seriousness if one were to look at the site statistics there's a noticeable dip every time the annual fall book sale pieces pop up. Metrics be damned says I! The local library book sale has been a fixture of my Halloween celebrations for around a decade as it provides the perfect chance to seek out old horror novels and there's no way I'm gonna stop sharing it now. Besides my overall stubbornness this particular sale was a total oddball worthy of posting. Preamble out of the way let's dive into this years experience.

The usual process for visiting this event involves making a small party of family members before heading over in the late-afternoon or early-evening. This time was much different with only two of us and our abnormal sleep-schedules planning on staying awake and heading in as soon as the doors opened at nine in the morning. Upon arriving I witnessed a sight I'd never before encountered in life... a line, a line outside my local library! Some of these folks were hardcore book bugs but a handful were that most dreaded of shopper by which I mean resellers. I failed to notice them initially though my companion encountered a couple of them riffling through books at lightspeed while scanning each for their online value. Combined with how some of the major readers also had their own systems for quickly searching through books and loading anything of interest into their bags, yes they brought their own bags, and the atmosphere was hectic to say the least.

In those early morning hours space is a luxury few can afford which changes the act of browsing into some kind of four-headed tango with different shoppers artfully switching places all while keeping their eyes focused and scanning for treasures. At one point I felt sympathy for a mother who had to juggle caring for her toddler at the same time. Still; emotions for others have little breathing room when the threat of being trampled by the elderly is at its peak. The whole thing felt like a fever dream granting the passage of time a totally ethereal quality. Our usual browsing speed at night is close to an hour yet we found our our trip only took twenty-minutes despite feeling like only a few moments and an eternity. Before this week I never believed shopping for books could be an adrenaline sport.

Given the madhouse vibe of the morning I took a shot at returning to the library in the evening and was a bit perturbed at how much the inventory had shrunk, much more so than in past years. Even with how hectic things had been I was still able to notice individual titles that were missing and major chunks that had been shrunk down by half or more, and this event has to hold on till Saturday. As if to add insult one of the resellers was back as well, cross-checking items using three cellphones. I know times are tough and selling off stuff on ebay and the like can be a nifty way to stay afloat but there's a point when you cross the line into being a pest. Even so this second trip allowed me to view a few sections that were inaccessible earlier which let me bring back two more items.

So how about the bounty itself? Honestly the first haul wasn't half-bad on its own. Not the greatest in my history with this event but far from the worst and the revisit gave it a nice extra bit of gravy. The first title to pop out at me was Night of the Moonbow by Thomas Tryon. He may not be a household name these days but this former actor obtained a decent level of success in the 70s when he authored thrillers like The Other and Harvest Home. His main style was period-piece Americana thrillers often featuring people in small towns encountering hidden terrors. This particular book apparently focuses on an outbreak of violence at a christian boys summer camp in the 1930s. Probably not the sort of thing to read in October proper but when the need for camp themed thrills inevitably returns during the winter months I'll be glad to have this around.

Not certain if The 6 Messiahs totally qualifies as horror though it definitely has the look of it and hails from Twin Peaks co-creator, Mark Frost. Guess this one's a sequel to a previous work where Arthur Conan Doyle teams up with another character who's something of a real-life Sherlock Holmes so the pair can deal with doomsday prophecies and other outlandish threats.

The Curse by John Tigges stands out as likely the most stereotypical horror novel of the whole endeavor with a standard set-up. Stressed-out family moves to the country, awakens something evil, pure comfort food. This is the sort of book that keeps me coming back to these sales with the tacky cover art and statements about unrelenting terror.

Reliquary is a sequal to a book I've never read. The trick however is I've seen the movie of part one, The Relic more than a few times. Since Hollywood never saw fit to bring this second installment to the screen this gives me a shot to dream one up. On the downside I recall my brothers complaining about this one sucking big time back when it was new.

The Revelation is the first novel from author, Bentley Little. Never bothered with his work before but the overall promise of an Arizona town besieged by dark forces is enough to draw me in. The last horror find came during the second visit with Haunted America, a collection of short stories with one for each state in the union.

It's not all scary stuff though as evidence by a blu-ray of Kubo and the Two Strings. Been meaning to see this for years with a recent burst of extra interest as I wanted to seek out more decent animated fare after a relative clumsily accused me of disliking animation due to my seething hatred towards Pixar films. Unfortunately a good deal of the good looking animated films out there are difficult to find on streaming services while some seem to be going out of print which made this a great score. Bookwise I also nabbed First King of Shannara. Only ever read a few installments from the larger franchise, some I adored while others took a big shit on all the good that came before them. Clearly I'm hoping this standalone outing will be on the better side of the series.

Lastly we have an outstanding find from the second trip, The Kelloggs Cookbook. Hailing from the late 70s this book consists of mostly normal, though very outdated, recopies until the addition of cereals comes into play. There's some freaky shit in here like one I believe was called Corn Custard Surprise. Then there are those that seem like they should be ok, Tiger Cookies for instance utilize crushed up Frosted Flakes. Expect a couple of cooking posts coming in the next few months thanks to this baby.

Much of the day went along fairly normal with leftovers for dinner and a gleeful viewing of Godzilla: Final Wars, god is that ever a silly film. Nighttime arrived and was so perfectly autumnal even Washington Irving himself would have struggled to imagine it. Everything from temperature, light, and wind was exactly what a person could want from October. Thus I went out on a moped ride cruising for other Halloween displays in town which was a good-enough time until I came upon a peculiar sight. A house had some decorations oddly close to the road, and upon closer inspection one of them was hanging off of public property. After looping the block I found this to be a classic case of curbside freebies alongside the likes of fishing rods and coolers. Surely I didn't have the room to properly transport medium-sized ghouls on my bike but a car was unavailable, so I returned home to get some bags to make it easier. 15 minutes later I'm in the road wearing my helmet and a reflective vest waving at a passing truck as I struggle to pack up free, and dirty, seasonal décor. Finding the bags weren't up to the task I ended up transporting the items between my legs like a pregnant woman all the way home.

All in all it was a fine day in October though it's not something I mean to rub in your face. No instead I'd prefer it stand as a further example of how this season can make otherwise normal activities into something special. So hope online and find yourselves some goofy local event or maybe go for a walk in a different neighborhood. We're twenty days for the main event which means there's still plenty of time to make the season unique.

Halloween Mood Table 2019 Part 2

During our last update I mentioned how September went out with something of a whimper with one side-effect being the big mood table that simply wasn’t up to snuff. The smaller one in my room was a cake walk providing instant therapy whenever I plug it in. The big one though, that took work. The original concept was to place my favorite old spooky board game, Ghosts dead center and work out from there. Something wasn’t right however so I shifted towards basing the entire table after seasonal gaming, that didn’t work either. So much did my obsession grow that I tore off everything, put on a different table cloth and decorations only to take that down and start again when at last the answer presented itself. As if by some divine force all of this coincided with the gradual climb in quality throughout this first week of October. The first few days still had some lingering crap from the past month such as a health scare for an in-law. Then things started to realign with decorations getting repaired, the weather improving, and some plans in place that might get yours truly back into his bachelor’s degree courses. Using that momentum I turned to creating a mood table that is downright charming. Let’s check it out.

The core item that changed the whole focus of this table is a large stuffed animal who my sister has dubbed Clancy Brown Bear. Since he sits out and takes up a bunch of space anyway I thought it a good idea to give him a mask which is when an idea took me. Here’s the story pitch; It’s Halloween night proper but a bit later, say 11 or so, and all the main events have come and gone. Clancy isn’t home, he’s staying with either a family friend or cool aunt, take your pick. After a long night of trick or treating, playing with his friends, and watching a couple spooky things he’s passed out with his too small hockey mask draped over his face. In his slumber slumber he clings to his favorite items of the season. One is his McDonald's candy pail filled with all the core candies inside. The other is his new favorite decoration in the form of a light-up Mummy head. He developed a fascination for Mummies after watching the much-mocked Tom Cruise movie. Sure the adults may hate it but Clancy watched the thing seven times this month. Tonight he has a new viewing obsession as his caretaker, lacking age appropriate viewing, sat him down with the complete dvd set of Friday the 13^th The Series. Having been lucky enough to turn on the disc with the scarecrow episode Clancy already has his costume planned for next year. It’s that sort of weird film and television that stick with a person years after the case. For instance I couldn’t tell you all the movies I watched on Halloween night 2017 but I can remember the time I saw Shattered Scream (AKA When Michael Calls) over twenty years ago.

Another item left our for the bear and his friends to use was a classic Ouija board. Clancy himself was too cowardly to use the thing, opting instead to place the planchet over the letter K and periodically check to see whether some spirit had moved it since. I was so happy to find this board fit both the theme of the table and allowed me to keep the original interactive concept. Nearby we have a large owl to serve as the familiar for the large Beistle witch who oversees this cornucopia of fun.

The left side of the table is where we find the toys Clancy was willing to play with. In the light of a plastic pumpkin he waged pretend kaiju battles between Godzilla, Cerberus, and a large rat decoration we will henceforth refer to as Ratra. Scattered among the toys are horror themed Top Trumps cards. Clancy and his friends didn’t enjoy playing the game itself but shuffling through the deck in search of the best monsters made for a good way to come down off their massive sugar-highs. To anyone who recognizes that exact Cerberus toy, yes I managed to wedge my Final Fantasy fandom into Halloween.

And so Clancy rests under the glow of green/purple candy-corn lights with another year of Halloween memories under his belt. It feels totally counterproductive to have done so much work for a relatively simple scene but that’s always been my modus operandi for the holidays. The set-up is stressful and serious so that the rest of the holiday can be pure comfort. Clancy represents pretty much the perfect end to any Halloween, bloated on candy and passed out among his favorite things. In all honesty the table is only mostly complete as there is one more item I’d like to include though I’ve yet to buy one just yet.

That’s all for this quick post. Gonna have a few more of these small offerings to keep up the pace during the rest of the month, and likely into the following holidays. Next time I might be teaching you how to make some big decorations for the front porch, or maybe finally dip into my packages of Zombie Skittles. Guess we’ll find out when it’s time. In the meantime I’d love to see some mood tables from you all out there.

Peddlers, Skeletons, and Mood Table 2019

At the end of our the most recent post I mentioned the proposed schedule of upcoming articles feeling assured that each topic would prove worthy of a full article. Under most circumstances that may have been so but then one of the holidays lover most feared events reared its ugly head as a string of lousy luck struck hard and fast making it far more difficult to enjoy the wonders of the season. Naturally this changed the planned arc of upcoming posts to become more of a recovery story and a possible public service for those who also stand a chance of getting slapped by unseen forces. If you’d be so kind I’d ask that you sit back and hear a tale of Halloween peddlers, Skeleton festivals, horrendous luck, and how a mood table and hair metal saved it all.

Let’s set the stage with the lousy luck as it seemingly started on Friday night. Ya know those moments when every tiny thing goes wrong? Maybe you step on something causing you to spill your drink and veer forward to knock something over. Then while cleaning up you find all the cleaners are empty and for some reason the paper towels are in the completely wrong part of the house, oh and maybe something’s on fire too. Take that sort of general funk and stretch it out for days along with the addition of some extra annoying relations to make it extra fun. Then top it all off with a scoop of awful weather. Suffice it to say I could spend the entirety of this article complaining but as I aim to be a relatively positive spot on the internet I’ll try to keep the rage dumps nice and brisk.

The stage being set let’s shift to Saturday as I prepared to head out to Marshall MI to check out a craft/art show called The Bewitching Peddlers of Halloween which coincided with something the town called Skeleton Fest. I got up early enough to ensure a few hours before the peddlers show closed though some unexpected delays left me with a little over an hour to take it in which made the five dollar entry fee sting a little more. Inside was a wide selection of some really high-grade Halloween goodies. We’re talking unique statues, paintings, and all manner of oddities that were often incredibly well-produced and ludicrously overpriced. Now don’t get me wrong, I love me some unique stuff and appreciate that these folks have to deal with fees and travel expenses At the same time I understand that an admittedly pretty painted wood block smaller than the palm of my hand is in no way worth $60. Worse was the occasional elitist vibe coming from some of these vendors. For me Halloween is very much an all-inclusive holiday, particularly as it is based around what you want to be rather than who you are. Too much of what was going on here was like a hoity art-show reserved for the financially well-endowed. While that may be fine for the rich and extra picky it’s sort of terrible for those of us with normal paychecks. I was basically ready to call this place a total bust if not for one both.

Pickled Punks is the creation of a married couple (unsure if the art is from one or both of them) with art prints, t-shirts, and coloring books on sale at human prices. Art-Prints were $15, $20 if framed. As you might imagine this made them very popular and a little difficult to shop with this part of the show floor becoming a choke point. There were a few prints I loved but this event also happened to fall at a point of extra low finances which left me in a bind though a member of my party at least made it so I could bring home a coloring book. What stings is how some of the prints on sale at the booth aren’t available on their website. If you’re lucky enough to come across them at an event I’d advise picking up the ones you want.

The show having been largely disapointing my group moved on to the town proper to see what they had to offer. Not a great deal as it turned out. Skeleton Fest involves putting out skeleton displays for the town to vote on only maybe twenty-percent of the downtown participated in it, not to mention most of these paled in comparison to the light-post displays I’ve seen in Leslie over the past few years. There were a couple of food stalls, and the typical selection of small-town folk musicians. This sort of event would be fine if you already lived there but as a location for a day trip it failed to offer much of interest. A lot of the activity relied on the downtown businesses of which far too many were generic boutiques. That sort of speaks to my impression of the town itself. It’s not really any better or worse than most of the towns around here but they put a lot of cash into making themselves look good no matter how dishonest it might be. Chief evidence is how their biggest store is a beautifully rundown old Big K-Mart. This store was so terrifically bad that it was nearly worth the whole trip. Most important of all is I was able to experience the aroma of K-Mart once again. I’d forgotten that smell but boy did it ever take me back.

So my outing to Marshall offered very little to praise and the remainder of the weekend through Monday continued the trend with personal injuries, a slight bout of feeling terrible, and a battle with decorative lights in eighty-degree weather that nearly had me converting to a different holiday of choice. At one point I found myself staring in awe as a fast food joint took nearly forty minutes to fill a six-item order while Bruce Hornsby sang “that’s just the way it is” over the radio. It was about this point when I began to wonder if a family member had run over an elderly gypsy. The transition to October was fast on its way and I was not having a good time. This wasn’t how I wanted to kick-off the month but then a sliver of salvation came in the form of a mood table.

The creation of Dinosaur Dracula (formerly X-Entertainment), the mood table is a practice I hadn’t really tried until last year as my tendency to overdecorate might leave the ritual feeling redundant. I greatly enjoyed last years attempt which was themed around old VHS rental displays and this time around I took the chance to make two separate tables. The odd thing this time around is that while one of them came together naturally and easily, the other was… we’ll come back to it. Let’s start with the one in my bedroom. I’ve had this four-tier corner shelf for years but this is it’s first chance to be involved with the major holiday lifting with the aid of spider-lights.

The top shelf is place for three totems. One is this awesome ghost carrying a pumpkin that reminds me of the part in Halloween where Michael disguises himself as PJ Soles’ boyfriend. A couple of LED candles and this guy gives off the perfect glow. To the left we have water-rat, so named for his usual placement on the water dispenser. Given that his normal spot has been taken by a new decoration he now serves as a reminder to hydrate with seasonal staples like pumpkin ale, cider, and Voodew. Think of him as the Bacchus of Halloween. On the right we have a skeletal bird… there’s no deeper meaning there, just wanted something birdy. Of special note is the candy-corn colored doily, least I think it counts as a doily, made by my mother. She’s produced a few of these this year and they enhance the vintage nature of any old item tenfold.

Level two belongs to what is likely my favorite Halloween item. The Devil and his friends is practically a mood-table onto itself with tons of character and multi-color changing lights. Flanking this masterpiece are movies on both analog and digital formats with the vastly underrated Fright Night Part II on VHS and the ultimate version of the Japaneses cult-classic Versus on dvd. Horror movies are a major point of any Halloween but I also enjoy giving myself a pat on the back for all these years of collecting by showcasing how wide the genre can be. Plus the stark white and black covers make for a fine duo.

Level three is largely about the written word. I’ve been slacking on reading for most of this year so this portion of the table is almost a challenge to dig back into the stash of classic horror paperbacks. Of course I had to have something from the favorite, Graham Masterton which made Walkers a shoe-in. The Beast Within served as the basis for a favorite horror flick so digging into the novel has been on the to do list for quite some time. Amityville: the Evil Escapes is just plain lovely to look at and the franchise had gotten totally out of hand by this point it should make for some fun reading material. Last up is Torments, the sequel to the award-winning, though supposedly overrated The Manse. Never had the opportunity to read part one though a lot of horror novel hipsters like to badmouth author Lisa Cantrell for whatever reason. I’m just tickled by her two primary works being set on this amazing holiday with great cover art to match. Centered among these tomes of terror are my smallest Godzilla figure and the lovely newborn figure from Alien Resurrection. You don’t want a late-fee when these librarian are involved.

The bottom tier has gone through several variations but the general theme has been gaming. Here we find a lovely old witch and her cartoon ghost minions presenting different forms of spooky gaming from the likes of card games like Vampire to wild horror-tinged videogames along the lines of Bayonetta and Dino Crisis 3. With all the activity this month provides it can be easy for games to get lost in the shuffle. This area serves as a reminder to mix up the fun every so often.

The big table downstairs is another matter entirely. In fact, as of this writing I’m declaring it a failure and will be remaking it post-haste. The key issue is that so much of the work was done during this troublesome weekend when my Halloween spirit was rather low which made the results cross that line from being an actual mood table to just a bunch of stuff piled up with lights. Consider this post to be act one with the following tease for part two.

This is a very large Beistle die-cut witch from 1980 that my mother found at a thrift store in its original packaging for just four bucks. She will remain as the totem of this second table which likely won’t be complete until early next week as it requires a couple items that have yet to be brought home.

There is a lesson to be gleamed from this grab bag of experiences which is the reminder that Halloween always has a hiccup or two. There will always be a lowpoint in our moods, or one event that goes off-rails. The important thing to remember is how much of this holiday revolves around the comforts of home. Sitting in my bedroom at the stroke of midnight with the wailing guitars of Helloween ringing in the month of October I stared at my mood table and felt myself begin to recover from the weird days that had preceded that moment. This speaks to both the wonder of mood tables and the importance of just taking in the moment. It wasn’t an intended theme but the majority of my table, including the shelf itself, came from thrift stores. So while a nice trip out to an expensive event or haunted house can be highlights of the holiday you should never forgot how much joy comes from simple inexpensive pleasures. This is where we cue the "more you know” rainbow.

All the evangelizing out of the way my October is going much more smoothly so far. Still have a wealth of topics to cover for you all, including the other table. The current goal is six updates this month so keep your eyes pealed and please share any misadventures or mood-lifting items of your own.

Resident Evil Survivor

For as long as the series has existed I've often found myself wishing I liked the Resident Evil games. Despite revolving around so many shared interests, and how I often get a good chuckle from the movie counterparts, RE has simply never drawn me in. Part of the problem is that I just plain suck at the series which subsequently means there's little fun to be had when playing it. It's not necessarily a matter of difficulty or suvival-horror tropes as I can handle the likes of ultra-hard games like Ikaruga or scary survivalist titles like Silent Hill. There's just something about the overall design of the RE titles that leaves me underwhelmed. Way back in 1998 I actually owned Resident Evil 2 and while so many others were lapping it up I was left in the gaming dumps until I was able to buy the much better, and so much harder, Final Fantasy Tactics. Every year around Halloween it's natural to get a hankering for some scary games which brings me right back to staring at this series I can't get into. This year I decided to try and change all that. After 23 years I was going to beat a Resident Evil game. So did I boot up any of the main entries that are readily available on the PS4? Course not. Instead I sought out a hated black sheep of the franchise. Naturally I’d love to share the whole silly adventure with you all.

Released back in August of 2000 Resident Evil Survivor (or Gun Survivor as it’s known in Japan) was a rather odd duck. The core series had already expanded to four installments with the most recent, Code Veronica, being quite the show-peace on the Dreamcast. The original Japanese version of Survivor was an experiment in creating a first-person shooter that was controlled by a light-gun, namely Namco's guncon. Stateside was a much different story as the novel control scheme was removed to placate parental groups who worried that video games were to blame for recent violent tragedies (nice to know things never change). Striped of its original identity and realized with very fuzzy graphics, Survivor was greeted with absolutely savage reviews declaring it a worthless game that existed as an insult to the brand. As someone who didn't even enjoy these games, save for some slight admiration of Nemesis, the idea of an extra terrible installment kept me far away. So what changed all these years later? Frankly it was the existence of a couple different articles and videos that still hated on the game but noted that it was incredibly short and fairly easy. Plus it seemed odd that for what was such a poorly received title it actually predicted the first-person future of the series.

Starting up the game soon yields all the usual series tropes, the dramatic menu voice, door opening animations, all the classic monsters, and magnificently wretched voice-acting. Even compared to the original the acting here is absolutely ripe with poor mixing and characters either lacking or expressing the wrong emotion for any given situation. The story at least had a simple opening hook with the player taking control of an amnesic survivor of a helicopter crash in an island town overrun with monsters. Even with all these standard elements there were a few differences that stood out.

The first change of note is how horror is handled in this game. The general fear of any Resident Evil title is whether or not there's a monster in the next room. As this is designed to be a shooter the question becomes how many monsters are behind that door? Damn near every room is packed with critters with some of the bigger baddies showing up rather quickly. Depending on how you go about it you'll be fighting giant spiders within ten-minutes. Sometimes the player barely has a chance to avoid the beasties with them being right up in your grill the moment an environment loads. Some of the rooms even repopulate should you find yourself backtracking. Combined with unlimited pistol ammo and the focus is to deal with an onslaught of foes by taking out every one of them rather than avoiding conflict.

While I mentioned backtracking you'll rarely such a thing because the game structure is so much different than its big brothers. The campaign is designed around focused linear areas with occasional junctions where the player chooses one of several branching paths. The effect on the story is minimal with certain characters simply appearing less often depending on your choices. However; certain items are only available down different paths which means you can miss out on a few nicer pieces of equipment depending on which branch you take. Thankfully all the primary upgrades like the shotgun and magnum seems to exist at the choke points. What this means for the player is that each environment goes by much faster with none of the puzzles the core games are known for.

After nearly forty-minutes of play a problem reared its ugly head. I'd been making good progress and it was time to feed the cats yet I couldn't find a single save spot. A quick search revealed something really bizarre. You can only save the game when your character dies. What stays in your save file are all of the weapons & ammo you've collected, not actual progress through the story. That means you have to take this on in a single sitting. I suppose this makes sense as it was designed around a more arcade sensibility but this was still a poor design choice on the developers part as the game plays so much better in short bursts. You're always being kept on your toes, fighting one wave of monsters after another, stretching that feeling for at least 90 minutes is more exhausting than interesting. Nowadays a creative person can find ways around this little hiccup which makes for a much better experience.

As mentioned earlier the story starts with the player controlling a crash survivor with amnesia. It doesn't take long before he begins to piece together the situation. This island town is owned and operated entirely by staff of the Umbrella corporation, and he may actually be the heartless commander who oversaw operations. Eventually he finds some kids who've manged to survive and decides to redeem himself by getting them off the island. Don't come in expecting any deep moral growth however as he remembers the truth later on and has nothing to make up for. Just a decent boring guy saving kids from monster island. And boy do I ever mean boring as this guy seemingly forgot his personality in the crash. Considering the branching paths some of the supporting cast barely appear depending on which branch you take. On my main playthrough a guy shot at me from a window while accusing the main guy of being commander Vincent and there was no closure to that point whatsoever. That same person can show up near the end but in my case it was the nameless leader of Umbrella’s command squad. Most of the finer story details are told through the typical files and diaries strwen about the island (stationery sales must be through the roof) though a number of these have glaring errors in grammar and spelling.

Clearly storytelling isn’t the main draw for Survivor so what about gameplay? Well it’s very straightfoward and almost acts like a distilled version of the mainline RE titles. You walk around with sluggish tank controls all while popping caps in monsters and collecting items for personal use or to unlock the next environment. It’s all very basic with the most complicated choice being when to lower your weapon and run to the other side of a room. Admittedly this strategic element sometimes vanishes either because the location is to small to maneuver around or because quicker enemies like hunters always block your escape.

Let's talk about those monsters for a moment. Most of the early franchise staples are accounted for be it zombies, dogs, lickers, etc. Some can only be encountered down certain paths so you can still have a surprise or two in later playthroughs. There is one enemy type I believe is unique to this game which is possibly one of the worst monsters ever placed in a video game. About a half-hour through the adventure some Umbrella commandos arrive to clean up the situation. In the introductory cut-scene they seem to be regular humans. When encountered in-game however they appear as these lanky, ape-like gimps who make wildcat sounds, bleed green, and melt when killed. It's as if the development team understood they should introduce something new and at the last second someone yelled out “chimps in gas masks!” No way are these critters keeping you up at night.

With everything mentioned thus far I still haven't tackled the most important question; was I having any fun? Actually... yeah, I sorta was. Don't get me wrong this game is loaded with problems in all areas. The controls are sluggish, the story is an absolute turd, there's tons of cheap hits steaming from the small environments, and the item menu is one of the worst in memory. At the same time the quick pace of the adventure coupled with alterations to series formula such as having unlimited item storage and pistol ammo made for a much more casual experience. In a way Survivor is a better b-movie simulation than its' bigger brothers could ever hope to be. Strange as it may sound I found a sort of nostalgia for this game despite never having played it before. Somehow it brought back the sensation of camping out in my teenage bedroom with the rustle of trees floating in through open windows. For an otherwise dumb game to provide that sort of feeling, well there must be something deeper going on with it.

Finally we come to the big conclusion of the quest to finish and RE game. The final area of the game is of course an underground laboratory featuring the toughest enemies and a Tyrant the player must go three rounds with. At this point I had stashed plenty of grenades, magnum bullets, and even shotgun shells should the former categories not prove enough. Out of everything the grenade launcher proved to be best as it would interrupt the attack animation of the final boss who tried to stop players from fleeing via helicopter. As a reward players are treated to one of the most ridiculous finishes to a boss battle alongside possibly the worst ending line in gaming history. When the two children ask what they will do now, our hero informs them “I don't know, but don't worry, we can fly as long as we have fuel.” Words to live by.

At last there was a Resident Evil title under my belt. Not only did it feel good to finally overcome this series but there's the extra bragging rights of it being such an often disliked and forgotten piece of gaming history. And despite all of the games numerous flaws the experience was still entertaining enough that I booted up a second playthrough to check out some of the other pathways while putting the more advanced weaponry to work on weaker enemies. While it may not have been a life-altering event playing this silly game on a cool September night was the sort of unexpected element to help the season feel complete.

Despite all the bad press here in the states there must have bee some level of success as the Gun Survivor series continued in different iterations with different development teams. This first installment was actually developed by a company called Tose rather than actual Capcom staff. This little developer has been around for decades working on all manner of games big and small including some of the key RE games. Capcom would take over for sequels, one an arcade cabinet shooter based off Code Veronica and another called Dino Stalker which served as a spin-off of my beloved Dino Crisis series. Finally Cavia would take over for Resident Evil: Dead Aim and later alter the formula for Umbrella and Darkside Chronicles on the Wii. Normally I wouldn’t care about sharing all of this with you but I’m so impressed by how much history stemmed from something otherwise deemed as a total failure. It’s like if the little engine that could was also a chemical train that derailed right into a gated community which, now that I think of it, would be a fantastic set-up for the next Resident Evil.

That’s all I’ve got for you tonight folks. Got a relatively busy weekend planned including a trip to Marshall, MI for something they call Skeletonfest. I’m guessing there will be skeletons involved. I’ll have a report on that up for you all in a couple days, probably the presentation of mood tables next week, and I’m gonna try and fit a regular update in for the site’s Super Sentai fans. Right now it’s a perfectly gloomy night to enjoy while devouring some Indian food.