Halloween Wall Decor.

 

For a year that’s felt like an eternity it’s tough to believe Halloween is merely days away. It’s also hard to deny how strange a season this has been. No doubt it has required a bit more patience and cunning than usual. With that comes opportunities to create new traditions and discover different ways of setting our seasonal spaces. That’s the theme for today at least as we spend a great deal of time crafting and staring at the walls. It’s more fun that it sounds… I swear.

Let’s kick things off with a total surprise arrival. Last year Trick or Treat Studios started a line of classic die-cut style decorations based on movie properties like Child’s Play and They Live. Among them were multiple sets based on different Halloween entries. Finances sadly didn’t allow for them at the time but during the summer I used some stimulus fun bucks to order from a trusted store. Then the package got lost in Memphis. I was refunded for them way back in September and forgotten about the whole thing until a strange, thin package showed up this afternoon.

I got the set based on the original Halloween which comes with six die-cuts. The five primary decorations are awesome. The designs are outstanding, colors are bold, printing stock is solid, zero complaints on that front. However; the possible Michael has some notable quality control issues. First off he was packed in with his leg bent. Second his head is too small. Third some of his joints are too large to easily fold back up for storage. So the big one is a bit of a mess but given the overall quality of the other five I’d call these a win. Just don’t expect almost a quarter year of shipping with a full refund, think you have to win a really lame lottery for that sort of treatment.

Ghoulsville is something I’ve wanted to write about for months since getting them way back in early July. As you all know there’s been a number of distractions between then and now but it’s time to correct that little wrong. These and their accompanying smaller brothers called Mini Monsters come from a store called Retro-a-go-go with a mercifully well-made website. The pitch is simple, create large plastic replicas of vintage masks to hang on the wall. The proper Ghoulsville models are two-feet long from top to bottom whereas the mini ones are something like six inches with prices ranging across the lines from twenty to thirty-five bucks. The store does sell some at discount that are slightly defective or missing their boxes which is how I picked up my witch.

Without a doubt I adore this big old witch. It bugs nearly everyone else in the house but I think it’s just perfect. The only issue I could point out about it is the brown cardboard backing visible through the eyes, which could be a defect but it blends perfectly with our brown accent wall. The mini monster I’m not as thrilled with. No doubt it’s nice and has proper black eyes, plus the small size is a great option for those with limited space. Mini’s also come with die-cut figures that help to make up the difference. For me the whole point is having big statement pieces. You may not be infected with such monster truck thinking but that’s my recommendation all the same.

I’d read that shipping for these is a problem though both the cost and time, all of one day, were remarkable. Then I realized the store’s only fifty minutes away. Yet another reason to be a proud and drunk Michigan dweller. If you live in somewhat more civilized states maybe expect to pay a little more.

Some of you may recall from my September shopping spree that I picked up a white craft-pumpkin with the plan to create some wall-lanterns. I sat on the project for quite a while, unsure of the right time to dive in. Spending nearly every afternoon chronicling the buzzwords from educational webinars made it so my brain finally screamed out for a project. And so I offer you some tips and tricks for your own potential craft night.

First one has to talk about tools. Those with more money and skill suggest the likes of a heated craft knife or an exacto knife. Lacking the former and a fear of losing my fingertips keeping me from the later I had only one option left. Years back Pumpkin Masters made faux pumpkin books with proper tools for the project. These obviously lack the clean cutting speed of the other tools but make up for it somewhat with safety. And yeah before you ask these are the ashland pumpkins found at Michaels. Funkins are apparently the gold standard though that’s sadly reflected in the price. For the needs of any budget minded haunter these will work just fine. Oh and lay out some towels for this since the powered innards of these things will embed themselves into every available space and orifice.

This whole process amounts to three projects, the first and most arduous of which is chopping the damn thing in twain. As mentioned in that September article, Ashland used to make per-halfed craft pumpkins for just such projects. Or maybe they still do and I’m simply unlucky enough never to find them. That version trimmed off a lot of time as the other option is spending about fifty minutes slowly sawing around the obvious fuse line of the pumpkin. I suggest comfortable viewing material for this bit of the operation. Old game shows, maybe Murder She Wrote. I started at the bottom and just worked bit by bit. Don’t rush it since you can loose your line and end up with uneven halves.

After giving my hand at least one full night to recover I moved to picking out some patterns. Whether you’re using something premaid or designing your own the key thing to remember is that without the extra smooth cutting tools you don’t want to get too outlandish. Craft pumpkins simply don’t have the same kind of texture and flow as the real deal and it can take some real work to knock out some fairly basic designs. Plus there’s much to be said for the structural integrity provided by simple faces. This year I decided to split the difference with two pumpkin masters patterns, one spooky, the other goofy. As with a real pumpkin the different shaping of individual sides makes for a unique canvas. For the silly one I used the more rounded half while the scary one took a slightly off-center look. For patterns you can use wipe-off markers, maybe the water and sandwich-wrap thing so many companies suggest. For me I took the arduous path of the old pattern poker. The advantage with this approach is having little holes gives your knife a spot to bite in.

If you’ve got the tools and the time my biggest advice is to be patient and cut slowly. Mad sawing action is only gonna ruin the investment. Once you’re done simply pick a nail or put up a command hook and plop these onto the wall with a led candle inside. Bam! Instant mood booster.

This was the sort of activity I needed and might become a tradition for the next few years so I can amass a collection to cover every room and then some. Plus each year can be a different color. I went with white this time to counter the orange and black from past projects but there’s weird ones like Turquoise or Pink every so often, plus you could always do your own paint job, maybe throw in some glitter or glow-in-the-dark stuff if you wanna get fruity.

And there’s a run-down of all sorts of odd shit you can stick to your walls. There’s so much else to tell you guys about like new pets, finally finding some Mtn. Dew Frost Bite, maybe I’ll be able to bring you all a little more before Saturday. If not then maybe go track down a craft pumpkin or watch The Fog. Just do something fun and enjoy the season as much as you can. Freaky nighttime walks in the park count all the more if you’re chased by unidentified forest creatures, just sayin.

VooDew II, Franken-Cups, and a Spooky Story.

 

    More than any holiday season in my memory this one greatly depends on our ability to use whatever surprising opportunities come our way. It’s just not the kind of season where one can leisurely stroll through a store at three in the morning. You gotta get creative and adapt to your surroundings. This strategy helped me out last Monday when, after three hours of raking at a volunteer site, dove into a fairly vacant dollar general in hopes of hunting down the elusive VooDew II. Finding that alongside another notable new treat would be more than enough for an update but I’ve got a little spooky story for you all to top things off.

    Let’s kick this off with VooDew II: The Revenge, Electric Buggaloo, Dew Harder (rather like that last one). Whatever subtitle you prefer the important thing is that VooDew returned with a different mystery flavor to tantalize the masses. The packaging is similar in style but with a fresh coat of paint with a grim reaper flashing the peace sign to illustrate we’ve moved on to a second era. While I don’t think this package quite lives up to last years the difference is negligible.

    Just like last year there are a few prime guesses about the actual flavor ranging from caramel apple to Skittles (a common guess for VooDew 1). A big problem with guessing flavors like Skittles, Starburst, or Smarties for that matter is that those candies are similar to Mtn. Dew in that they’re like chicken of the snack world. What I mean is no matter what variety of Dew you’re drinking they all have that unifying Dew taste which is sort of like the unified flavor of Skittles and the like.

    How does this stuff taste then? I can see points in favor of the different groups. Yes there is a Skittles aspect so maybe that is the real answer this year. Of the two apple groups, candy or caramel, I’m leaning more towards the latter as I swear there’s a light caramel undertone to everything. Whatever the case what really matters is we have another smoothly sweet beverage to sip by the light of a jack-o-lantern. Given the general suck-factor of this year such a small luxury is positively priceless. There’s no denying this is a major delight for this Halloween and I advise anyone who comes across it to grab at least a few bottles. You won’t regret it.

    On the chocolaty end of the sugar spectrum we have Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups dressed up as new Franken-Cups. Are they a different flavor? Nope. Different size? Not at all. The only difference is how the lower half of the chocolate is colored green so each cup resembles Frankenstein’s Monster, or Adam if you don’t mind him sounding totally nonthreatening. It may not be revelatory or all that unique but, once again, it’s a small luxury. It’s one thing to watch Frankenstein while eating candy but it’s all the more special when you can pretend that candy is Karloff’s head. Should you find yourself strapped for cash I’d recommend the likes of Vampire Kisses or VooDew II over this, and those with allergies don’t have to worry about missing out on anything all that incredible. Otherwise it’s a nifty treat.

    One thing that’s been missing from my October is a good scare. Sure I’ve been watching my horror flicks and taking nighttime walks. It’s just there hasn’t been that big scary moment like you might get at a haunted house, which are a total no-go this year. Wednesday night the universe provided a good hair-raiser to snap me outta my doldrums.

    Having yet another walk the other night. A small storm was on its way in which in the meantime meant the weather was windy, wild, and just perfect for this time of year. I’d already felt a few droplets hit my nose and forehead but I couldn’t resist stretching such a wonderful excursion out for as long as possible. I decided to add at least one more block onto my route which took me past the smallest playground in town.

    Walking in the road I was still amazed by the fantastic wind sending leaves in all directions. As I looked towards the playground coming up on my right I saw something strange. A large shadow, almost like a person running while hunched over dove quickly through the shadows before disappearing into the deeper darkness near the ground. While this sight worried me I made an attempt to keep my fears in check. After all such weird shadows aren’t all that uncommon during an autumn night. I continued forward making the occasional glance at where the figure had vanished.

    Suddenly the shape returned. Whatever it was stood at child height and began moving right towards me full force. My mind raced with notions of fight or flight. Could I outrun this thing? Was it something I could actually fight? Why the hell did I have to add another block to this walk? All the questions waited for answers as I stood in place.

    At last the shape emerged into the streetlight giving me mere second to process and react. A garbage bag. A goddamn heavy-duty black garbage bag was flying right at me going the speed of an in-town car. Despite wearing clunky boots I reacted quickly with enough spring in my step to vault over the assaulting bag all while yelling “What the hell!” From then on the remainder of the walk was filled with giggles and the beginning sprinkles of a storm.

    If nothing else let tonight’s blog serve as a remainder for you all to get out there. Taking a left turn instead of a right could easily result in some new soda or an assault from flying trash. It’s those tiny moments that are helping to bridge the gap between this Halloween and those of the past. They’ve certainly done a great deal for my mood as I now truly feel like I’m celebrating my favorite season again. With that comes new plans and revelations like an idea for how to safely hand out candy and how mad scientist costumes provide perfect thematic protection. You all stay scary and I’ll try to be back by early next week with something new.

October Snack Report and Halloween Book Sale

 

For a born and breed night owl there are few things more repulsive than waking up at any hour with AM attached to it. One of the daffy aspects of current life however dictates that I must be up bright and early on the first Saturday of each month for one of my classes. Not sure if anyone on the zoom meeting realizes they’re speaking with half a pot of coffee more than there are with me but this past weekend the ordeal of dragging my corpse outta bed offered a nifty extra. For years the local library book sale has been a fixture of my Halloween celebration, one that didn’t seem likely this year. Outside of a small booth at the weekly farmers market there seemed to be no way of recreating that event. That is until the library decided to throw together a one day outdoor version marking a big change from the classic 3 day affair. I know from past experience these are incredibly unpopular posts so that’s why I’ve mixed in a snack report to keep you buggers here.

Now let’s talk books. There wasn’t much in the way of solid horror paperbacks this year, hardly any in fact. I did managed to come across multiple novels involving ghostly or magical cats which almost seems insulting given recent events though I did bring home one called Shadow by Joyce Sweeney that looks decent enough. I was very pleased to come across one of Clive Barker’s anthologies, The Inhuman Condition. Barker is far from my favorite but short stories are a godsend during busy periods like October so I’ll chalk it up to a victory all the same.

Next we enter the world of supposed non-fiction with Hanz Holzer’s Haunted America. If the name seems familiar that because Holzer is one of many authors who wrote about Amityville, namely Murder in Amityville which was the basis for the best film in the series (the second for those of you not paying attention to my Amitville articles). Haunted America is a guide to various famous haunting across the U.S. if nothing else it might serve as a fun travel guide should the world ever straighten itself out.

Finally we have the biggie from Time Life’s Enchanted Realm series. These hardcovers were guidebooks to all manner of magical topics from giants and Camelot, to ghosts and ghouls. This particular volume titled Night Creatures was the one I most often borrowed from the library to thrill at descriptions and paintings of child-eating hags and the like. If ever a series of books embodied a lazy afternoon camped out with a blanket over the furnace vent then these are it.

For whatever reason the media area was crazy well-stocked this year, to the point I actually left some items behind. Someoe either had a Dickensian burst of generosity, or merely lost their marbles, and donated the likes of Midnite Movie double-features, Tartan Asia Extreme Releases, and even a Scream Factory title. While initially excited by the prospect of an area stocked with Vincent Price multi-features I was quickly brought back down by the knowledge I already owned most of these save for Scream and Scream Again. Admittedly far from the man’s best work, and it was paired with The Oblong Box which I already own but that only makes the dollar asking price all the more sweet. Then there’s a Dark Sky Films double with some weirdo sci-fi flick called Creation of the Humanoids and the reason I got it, War Between the Planets which is part of the endearingly silly Gamma 4 series. I believe it’s often cited as the third installment of the franchise but that depends on who you ask, it’s a complicated topic. My final movie pick-up and one I’m most excited for is Doppleganger directed by Kiyoshi Kurosawa. This is the second time in a month that I’ve been able to nab one of us movies for a buck which either means society is starting to mature or we’re officially past the point of no return. At least when the idiocracy fully cements I’ll have a full stash of quality J-horror to sustain me.

Definitely not the biggest or most comprehensive book sale experience yet it helped things to feel both more normal and a little unique. Not only could I carry on a tradition but I got to do it in a new setting, chilling my feet on a wet lawn. But enough about moldy old books, some of you are just here for the fresh, chemical-filled treats.

Crush Sour Patch Kids Berry Soda

Sometimes you come across a new item in the store that must assuredly be some kind of holiday-linked stunt food only to discover zero trace of spider-webs, Christmas tress, or fireworks on the packaging. Such is the case with new Sour Patch Kids Berry Crush, a product that must be a Halloween inspired bit of indulgence yet suffers from bland presentation. If you were to stroll past the soda aisle and fail to notice this, it’d be a completely forgivable oversight since there’s little more than than the obnoxious blue color and image of a candy person to set this apart from anything else.

Regardless of the Crush group’s inability to latch on to the obvious link between candy and Halloween the thing that really matters is flavor, so how is this Windex looking concoction? Honestly… it’s pretty wild. There’s not much in the way of berry taste and the sour aspect, while there, is slightly watered-down. All that being said there’s still the sugary burst one expects from a soda like this only now it comes with an extra pop which leaves your mouth and tongue feeling a little fuzzy like you just ate a few Sour Patch Kids. It’s not a perfect translation of the candy into a soda instead feeling more like one was infused with the other. On a personal note the stuff blends pretty nicely with gin so… consider that a bonus for any booze hounds out there. I’m gonna he nice and give this a 3 out of 5, a rating that would be higher if they’d had the foresight to put something spooky on the damn bottle!

St. Julian Head Games Wine

While nowhere near as prominent as the west coast of the country, Michigan has a fairly notable selection of wineries to choose from. This time of year it’s common to see plentiful displays of Leelanau’s Witch’s Brew crowding the shelves but this year I took a different route. Seeing as I don’t pay anywhere near enough attention to the wine market I’ve no clue how recent a development St Julian’s Head Games is. Then again who am I to turn down a bottle of spiced red wine with a sparkly skull on the front?

As far as presentation I give major props for the label. It’s tacky enough to be fun without going overboard into ugly territory. Unfortunately this is a screw-top bottle so there’s none of the alluring sensation of popping out a cork. Still; the colors and shelf presence are to be commended.

Taking the first sniff is quite frankly sweet for any wine, let alone a spiced red. I hadn’t paid attention to the back of the bottle which features a handy-dandy dry to sweet scale. Guess where this thing ranks? Naturally I was in no way prepared for the liquid-candy shock headed my way. I mean this shit is like diabetic blood which makes it easy to keep in moderation. It doesn’t earn my highest recommendation but for anyone looking for something different than pumpkin ale this is a nifty treat. Let’s give it around 3.5 outta 5.

Vampire Kisses

When it comes to new Halloween editions of established candy it’s natural to expect one of the three key flavors, pumpkin spice, caramel apple, or the more divisive candy corn. Some ballsy folks at Hershey decided to forgo the standard tastes and incorporate Strawberry into their seasonal offering with Vampire Kisses. I’m gonna come right out and declare these an absolute win by the way.

The packaging itself is a total win. Not only is there a fine three-way combo of blood-red, dark chocolate brown, and a bit of purple but it only gets better once you dig into the bag. The traditional Kisses wrapping is now purple with bats. That’s the sort of attention to detail we love.

The taste is smooth and balanced with the strawberry element toned down enough to work with the chocolate without being overpowered. The fruit goo itself is thankfully smooth, not chalky or lumpy. It’s a satisfying treat that you can just pop a couple and be good with. You should get these… like go put on your mask and go get get some this instant. As for a rating I’ll put it at 4.5 to account for personal tastes.

That’s all for tonight folks. I appreciate the patience with my spotty update schedule. It’s part of the problem with balancing volunteering, regular school, life and this place. For the sake of entertainment I’m gonna try to fit in more small updates to spice up the season a little more. As for you all out there please share in any surprise events or snacks that are helping to keep this Halloween up to snuff for you.