Tales from the Darkside: Trick or Treat.

With the last days of the season in full swing it's finally time to end our rundown of Tales from the Darkside Halloween episodes. This time we wind the clock all the way back to October 29^th 1983, nearly a full year before the show started running regular weekly tales. I've never found a proper write-up of how this pilot episode first aired. If it was a special on broadcast TV, played randomly in syndication, or given to a paid channel like HBO. Whatever the origin, Trick or Treat is a tremendous half-hour of television that set the stage for the series to come while providing one of the best Halloween specials to ever hit the airwaves.

The series came out swinging in regards to talent as this episode is Co-written by horror heavyweight George Romero, and directed by actor Bob Balaban, who may not ne known as a scary guy but he actually directed the fantastic cannibalism flick, Parents and the cult comedy, My Boyfriend's Back. Barnard Hughes, better known as Grandpa from The Lost Boys stars as the Scrooge-like main character, and there's even a small part for Max Wright, the dad from Alf. Would you believe there's also an audio cameo by Tim Curry? The producers aimed to make a good impression with this one.

The story begins with small town businessman Gideon Hackles working late at night with his bankers. The old man stresses how he's always fare, never cheats, but gets every penny he's owed, a statement showcased by charging for every cup of coffee the men drink. We learn a great deal about Gideon in this opening scene. He won't hire clerks for his store as he doesn't trust people, the entire town is up to their eyeballs in debt to him, and most importantly of all as the clock strikes midnight we learn it's his favorite day of the year, Halloween.

Hackles has put together a twisted tradition over the years. He hides all the IOU papers from the townsfolk within his home and invites children to visit his haunted house in search of them. Any child that finds the papers frees their family of crushing debt, a feat none have accomplished so far. One father is certain his son will finally overcome the challenge boasting “I've toughened him up with me strap.” That's the kind of environment Gideon has fostered over the years, he even threatens to take the home of one family that refuses to participate, though their son has other plans.

Upon returning home, the wicked businessman hides the stack of papers in the chimney and sets to work preparing his haunted house. This thing is no joke, he's piratically transformed his home into a massive puppet with pulleys and wires activating all manner of objects and a crude PA system that allows him to taunt the kids.

The first child of the night soon arrives, a little girls dressed as a witch. She does an admirable job of facing Hackles twisted home until he frightens he away with some sort of crude ghost. He laughs as she flees in terror and mocks her mothers attempts to sooth her noting that “the people of this valley are backwards.”

The old man continues frightening children until one very special little devil is at his door. It's the boy who's been on the receiving end of a belt for god knows how long as training for this moment. He too makes a valiant effort even as Gideon misleads him about the location of the papers, so much for not being a cheat. At last he is scared away by a moving taxidermy bear. Once the boy runs off in horror we get one of my favorite moments as his father embraces him. You can see the guilt on his face over what he's done to his own child for the sake of money.

Preparing for yet another round, Gideon finds his traps going haywire until receives a rather unexpected guest, an adult dressed as a witch, or at least that's what he thinks until she starts flying around his home and cackling like a true bride of Satan. Soon enough his entire home is a supernatural hot-spot as a zombie pirate raids his safe, and devils taunt him from what appears to be a tunnel to hell.

At last the boy whose family wanted nothing to do with this crude tradition arrives at the door dressed as a pirate only to be greeted by the witch who flies away leaving behind plentiful riches and no sign of Gideon Hackles, save for one that I don't wish to spoil that is.

Trick or Treat ranks as possibly my personal favorite Halloween special of all-time. The story, similar to Halloween Candy praises the power of a holiday and how it can lash out at those who abuse it. Above all the production is just fantastic with possibly the best classic style witch to ever hit the airwaves. There's more than enough drama, atmosphere, and fright to make this one turn on every year. This is no exaggeration. If you think of yourself as a nostalgia TV junkie then this deserves to be on the top shelf alongside classic Treehouse of Horror entries and Garfield's Halloween Adventure.

As with the previous two episodes I think it best if we pair our viewing with a treat. I could have gone with something new like Burger King's Black Fanta slushie but a true classic deserves to be paired with another classic. That's why we're going with Halloween Oreo.

Not many people bother to talk about these as they seem so antiquated next to the steady stream of bizarre new Oreo flavors, but just consider what Halloween would be without them? It's the sort of item that serves as that missing piece to a holiday. After all the decorating, pumpkin carving, scary movies, apple picking, and everything, these cookies and their bright orange cream make the season complete.

Even with the end of October being so near, I want to remind you all there's still time to fit in some good memories. Just over the weekend I was able to swing by our local courthouse which had been converted into a haunted attraction, went to a cousins countryside wedding, and finally remembered to get one of those McDonald's pumpkin pies. Even now there are plans to get out and see the new Halloween between bouts of schoolwork, pumpkin carving, and various bits of preparation.

Considering all there is left to be done before the big night this will most likely serve as the final entry of this Halloween season, though there may be an aftermath report. We've done a lot this year. Beyond talking about this trio of great anthology stories, we revisited a series of horror games about dinosaurs, went on a bat walk, constructed our first official mood table, discovered a great Korean ghost movie, found some awesome old books, ate so many snacks, and even managed to start school and attend a wedding. There's always an item or two that gets lost in the shuffle, very little can be done about that. When it's late on Halloween night and all the ghouls have gone to sleep, I hope you'll have your Griswold moment as you look back on everything you've accomplished, smile, and say with full pleasure “I did it.”

Thank you all for making CosmicSparky a part of your holiday. 2018 has been a crazy, rushed, and complicated year and it makes me happy to think this website could provide even a little entertainment for anybody. May you have the happiest of Halloweens. Eat the best candy, watch the scariest movies, and show kids that life can actually be pretty great. I'll be here with more crazy crap for you all throughout the coming months as we celebrate more great holidays. For now, go have some fun.

CosmicSparky's Halloween Watch-List 2018

Here we are with just over a week to go before the big night of ghouls and goblins. Despite a few odd hang-ups it's been a pretty solid season and there's still enough time to fit in a good haunted house, some pumpkin carving, and plenty of spooky movies. Naturally I've been keeping to my tradition of at least one scary movie every night though there have been a few that have counted more as glorified background noise during bouts of schoolwork.

One nagging issue on this page is that, outside of praising Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum earlier this month, there's been little opportunity to talk about movies with you all. I aim to remedy that issue by ushering in what may become a permanent fixture of future Halloweens where I offer some suggestions. Some are totally scary affairs, others are a bit goofy, a couple of them aren't even horror films. I think each of them make a fine enhancement for the holiday. Let's kick things off with proper horror flicks.

For those craving some under the radar frights you can't go wrong with Late Phases: Night of the Lone Wolf. The set-up is simple, a cranky old blind veteran moves into a senior living neighborhood only to be attacked by the resident werewolf. He survives but his dog isn't so lucky, and so begins a campaign to get revenge on the man-mutt responsible for killing his pooch.

Late Phases manages to function as a sort of character-study as our hero is a gruff bastard with a strained relationship towards his adult son. Even though he's a grim character his quest is easy to relate with. He doesn't have much save for his dog. Once that's taken from him it's simply a matter of taking out the bad guys no matter the cost.

This is a tight dramatic movie elevated by excellent performances from the likes of Ethan Embry, Lance Guest, Tom Noonan, and Nick Damici as our hero. It's probably best suited for a more intimate viewing. Perhaps solo or with the significant other on a quiet night when the moon is bright.

Another recent horror flick that I haven't seen get anywhere near enough love is The Autopsy of Jane Doe. This one also benefits from a simple premise as a father and son coroners are tasked with the autopsy of a mysterious body found at a nearby massacre. As the pair dig deeper into the corpse they unlock further clues to her identity and inadvertently stir up some paranormal activity.

This is your straight-up scary recommendation for the year. I will admit that for those if us who ingest horror on a regular basis it may only bring some chills, but regular folk are likely to get nice and scared. There's a little bit of everything you need for a solid fright fest, from spooky noises over the radio to animated corpses, and all the gore associated with an autopsy.

There are a few drawbacks such as a somewhat ho-hum ending but for those in the market for a good scream, this is well worth you time.

Many of us have hidden gems tucked away in our movie library. Those awesome films that stick with us for years without ever garnering much attention elsewhere. One of my absolute favorite to show off comes from one of the men responsible for The Blair Witch Project, Eduardo Sanchez. The man has put together an interesting list films since then, even a decent Bigfoot flick with Exists. That said, he has never topped the work he did with Altered, a reversal on alien abduction tales where a batch of rednecks manage to capture a little green man.

Turns out this batch of good old boys have some history with space men, having been abducted and tortured years earlier. Now they're faced with a tough decision. What do you do with a blood-thirsty alien once you've captured it? You might say take it to the authorities but keep in mind this little monster has all sorts of tricks and his buddies are looking to get him back.

The sheer scope of storytelling that plays out in one house and the surrounding woods never feels tiresome, there are plenty of characters both stoic and stupid, and the critters are mean and deadly. There are a few sloppy plot-twists but the overall effort is astonishing. I've never quite figured out how Altered hasn't become a certified classic of the genre but It's one I think you should all take the time to track down.

While not a horror film in any shape or form, Cowboy Bebop: The Movie (AKA Knockin' on Heaven's Door) manages to provide some outstanding alternative Halloween viewing. As if it isn't enough to be a great anime, or a great action flick for that matter, the final act occurs on Halloween night amid a huge parade. I'd planned on putting together a full tribute for this one as it's holiday connection is often overlooked but time simply won't allow it.

Taking place between the twenty-second and twenty-third episodes of the TV series, this movie benefits from well-established characters while still offering a solid entry point for new viewers. It's the perfect treat for people who want something drastically different from scary movies but still want to maintain their seasonal spirit.

One of my favorite elements comes during the ending credits as we move into November first and watch life return to normal. Very few films based around any holiday properly tackle that ephemeral shift from full-scale celebration to everyday life. It's a neat comparison between how life builds up to events and then immediately back to business much the way these characters overcome crazy obstacles only to go back home and crash on the couch. Whether you're just regular folk or a space cowboy it's both the big and little moments that matter.

Here's another one for those craving something outside of the usual scary trappings. Lost Skeleton of Cadavra is spoof of black & white sci-fi monster movies, only the comedy largely comes from it being exactly like those old schlock-fests. From terrible special-effects and costumes to corny dialogue and senseless plot-holes, every detail is captured perfectly. At the same time it is one of the most comfortingly funny movies you'll ever see with lines you can quote for years to come.

The same writer/director along with this cast have made other throwback spoofs, including a sequel, radio plays, and one of the funniest novels I've ever read with Suburb at the Edge of Never. Even with all that to choose from the group has never made something as upbeat as this first outing.

For those of you with kiddies, consider this the family pick. There's no vulgarity of excessive violence to be found. It's just as clean as the old drive-in fare it pays tribute too. Like the combo of hot coco and a blanket, it's the perfect fit for a night when you need to be cheered up.

Last but not least we've got the wild-card pick for something so bad it's good. Night Train to Terror is a horror anthology comprised of re-edit and unfinished films. Each story is presented by god and the devil as they play chess on a train full of break-dancing teenagers. That should clue you in to the kind of “quality” this one has to offer.

Each segment is besieged by massive plot-holes, terrible effects, and unexpected nonsense. There's not a single redeeming factor to the whole production but given the right mood, a few beers, and some friends you've some legendary entertainment.

Content wise there's plenty of violence, nudity, satanic panic, and musical numbers. If you zero inclination to laugh at crap, stay away from this film. For those who love to replicate Mystery Science Theater at home, this is a holy grail.

I'm glad we got to talk about a few movies before the month is done. This is such an important topic for me at this time of year and it almost got lost in the shuffle. More than likely there will only be one more post before Halloween night, maybe two if I'm lucky. Until then I urge you all to get out and enjoy what's left of October. Set aside real-world responsibilities, they'll still be there in November. Take a walk in the park, play a scary game, or just sit outside among the decorations and drink some pumpkin ale. Enjoy this time time the way you see fit.

Tales From The Darkside: Halloween Candy and Symbiotic Black Cherry Limeade.

Continuing our countdown of Tales from the Darkside Halloween episodes we move on to a truly classic installment from season two. Directed by none other than special-effects legend, Tom Savini Halloween Candy shares a theme with the very first Halloween episode in that it's about a wicked old bastard receiving his just punishment from our favorite holiday. In this case the horrible old coot is a man who seemingly hates absolutely everything. No matter how hard he protests, he's about to learn that All Hallows Eve demands respect from us all.

When we first meet Mr. Killup he's in an extra pissy mood because it's Halloween night. He hates all those kids who vandalize his home yet he refuses to counter the issue by giving out candy as he feels they don't deserve it. His adult son, not wanting to spend another year cleaning soaped windows and toilet papered trees gives him some goodies to hand out. These two have a poor relationship. The son takes care of his father by bringing him groceries and such but openly mouths off about what a shitty childhood he had.

After his son leaves for the night, the coot still refuses to hand out candy. We spend a good amount of time watching him chase off kids, telling them to go to hell, and in the ultimate act of defiance pour a mixture of glue, mayonnaise, and candy into a kids bags declaring it to be “goblin candy.” What's great is that for as much as he complains, the damn fool never remembers the rule of turning off his lights. It's never spoken but this as sure a sign as any that he wants kids to come by just so he can be a dick.

Obviously we can't watch a senior citizen torment children for a half-hour, I could actually, but that wouldn't make for much of a Darkside episode. Eventually he passes out in front of the TV and that's when things get interesting. First we begin to see small flashes of static, followed by brief shots of Killup dead on the floor, and finally the doorbell rings. A very late trick or treater arrives at the door but this one isn't quite normal, the tail is a bit of a giveaway. It's a persistent little bugger, demanding “trick or treat” in a deep voice. Still Killup refuses to give out any candy and eventually resorts to shoving the little monster.

From then on things only get worse, bugs infest the home, food goes bad in the fridge, clocks either break or stop, while morning never seems to come. The tiny war continues this way with the goblin outside finding new ways to torment the old man who won't honor the night properly. It all comes to a cruel conclusion though one that isn't undeserved.

An episode like this can be tough to write about as so much of it comes from the audio visual aspect. These elements are handled well enough with blustery wind, plenty of dead leafs, not to mention the cavernous interior of the home. It all feels like a properly lonely and wasted holiday night. It's not quite up to the atmosphere of Cutty Black Sow, but it wasn't meant to be.

Where this episode earns its stripes is it's straightforward nature. Though it may not sound like tremendous fun to simply watch the interplay between a lonely old wretch and a creature aiming to punish him, the story acts like a classic morality tale. The Legend of Sleepy Hallow didn't need excess depth and neither does this. It's just a classic cautionary tale reminding us all not to be assholes on Halloween or something might come out of the dark at correct us.

Halloween Candy isn't the first example of an old man battling the spirit of Halloween. The very first episode of Tales From the Darkside tackles a similar theme, albeit from a different perspective. Many people will also notice the similarities to the portion of Trick r' Treat where Brian Cox as a retired bus driver faces off with Sam the trick or treater from hell. While this episode may not be quite as good as those two stories, it's still a damn fine seasonal treat that is more than worth the meager amount of time it takes to watch.

Just like last time we need a treat to pair with this episode. How about some goblin candy? Or failing that a colorful superhero movie tie-in? Just like Green Lantern before it, Venom has been bestowed a Brisk drink to call it's own. Not sure what fascination this brand has for sub-par comic book movies but I'm glad to see them continue the good work. I drank their former Green Lantern stuff by the gallon and it didn't have the advantage of fitting in with the best holiday around.

Symbiotic Black Cherry Limeade looks like the contents of a witch's cauldron sans the dry ice effect. I mean this stuff is dark with a slightly higher viscosity than you might expect, nothing approaching syrup levels mind you but you can see it cling to the curves of the bottle not unlike it's namesake space monster. The color is a deep red that's just shy of black. Along with the picture of the beast himself, a bottle practically functions as a consumable decoration.

Taking the first few sips it may surprise you that the flavor is fairly muted. There are the distinct tinges of lime and black cherry but nothing all that strong. It has an almost medicinal element to it similar to a low-carb energy drink without the chalky element. This is most likely due to the comparatively low sugar content along with the use of sucralose and tea powders. There is a big upside to this sort of low-impact flavor in that you can drink quite a lot of it without feeling bad. The second time I purchased a bottle it helped me stay perky and hydrated throughout the night, even if it severely lacks health benefits.

I should warn that this stuff leaves an odd aftertaste that I didn't mind but my nephew found very gross though he liked the initial flavor. My advice is to be ready to swap out for some water as soon as you're done with it. Poor ingredients and finish aside this is still one of the more interesting snacks of the season and worthwhile when paired with fine entertainment.

That's all for story time, folks. We're almost to the two week mark approaching Halloween. This is when all the big stuff happens and I expect you all to share some of your fun stories. I'm gonna continue to keep things spooky through the rest of the month, so keep an eye open for further posts.

Halloween Book Sale 2018 and Body Augmentation.

It's no secret that I go on and on about holiday traditions. Partly this is just me enjoying the few opportunities to boast but there's also the joy of sharing personal traditions that aren't universally available. Some people make a habit of visiting Halloween Horror Nights, others hold house-parties, I personally like to visit the local library book sale. This has been major fixture of October for maybe six or seven years so far. Mainly I use it as a chance hunt down out-of-print horror and pulp novels but am glad to include any interesting relics that cross my path. Some years are full of great finds, others require a bit more effort to bring home something decent. This time the sale had the added benefit of making up for an unexpected bit of body augmentation. I suppose celebrating the month of fright in a manner befitting Frankenstein isn't such a bad idea but I sincerely hope it doesn't become a regular occurrence. Sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of teeth and books.

Lately I've been staying up far too late before getting to bed and today was no different. It was nearly eight in the morning when I decided to brush my teeth and hit the hay. Near the end of scrubbing the old purely whites I hit something between the upper front incisors. After applying additional pressure something came loose, leaving a hole in the back of my tooth. Turns out a filling was loose and took the opportunity to pop out.

At first I thought I'd get some sleep and then get up and call some dentists but wouldn't ya know it's incredibly tough to get to dreamland when your body has turned into a Cronenberg movie. Imagining myself as the next Brundlefly I got on the phone and called a nearby dental clinic that accepts my terrible insurance. Problem is nobody would answer the damn call. Next I decided to call my former dentist who had installed these fillings in the first place.

Given the chance to to come in and get fixed up I headed over on this perfectly crisp and cloudy full day. Upon getting in the chair I asked the dentist to check another spot I was concerned about and it turns out there was a second missing filling. Actually heard the phrase “why won't these stay in there?” Nice to know my mouth can mystify a professional. Mercifully they stood by their work and put in the replacements for free. Now I can break in these free new chompers with some Halloween candy.

After some late and much-needed sleep I was finally able to check out the book sale. While far from the biggest selection this year had some real treats. Everything's so crammed together that you always walk away thinking you missed something important. This feeling is even worse when you only have so much cash on hand, which is why I have to return for a tome of local history and maybe the biography of Michael Cain. For now let's just entertain ourselves with the primary haul.

In paperbacks there are three solid looking horror tales. The Vamphyri! is the second installment of Brian Lumley's Necroscope series. I've only ever read about a quarter of the first novel before getting sidetracked by something else but what little I'd taken in has stayed with me since. The whole franchise is a mix of international espionage with ghosts, magic, and monsters. Wouldn't be surprised to see it transformed into a show at some point as peak TV mines ever deeper for new content.

Witch Child is the one that has me really excited. Didn't have to know anything about it after seeing that cover and the Zebre publishing logo. They were one of the biggest pushers during the horror paperback boom of the 70's and 80's which makes anything like this an item of note. Likewise have very little clue about Animals but a cover like this isn't likely to let me down.

When it comes to hardcovers I was lucky enough to stumble across some Time Life Enchanted World books. These were a big deal for kids of a certain age. Personally I used to take them out of the library before I was even able to read thanks to the amount of badass art contain in each volume. Of the three available I stuck with Tales of Terror as the other two were more bright and romantic subject matter.

Next we have The Vampire Hunter's Casebook, a collection of vampiric short stories that had to come home for one reason. Among the selection of unknown tales, and public domain outings is The Night Stalker. That may not stand out to everyone but as the first story of Carl Kolchak, famously brought to life on screen by Darrin McGavin, I had to have it. Out of everything I picked up this is the most likely to be read this month thanks to its short length. Otherwise I have to read stuff for school which is just so boring.

Yes, I decorate DVD racks too.

I was also lucky enough to get a few dvds for a pittance. One is a collection of drive-in trash, some of which I already own, but for a buck who's gonna complain about a few repeats? Then there's Wolf, the big-budget Jack Nicholson werewolf flick. I've somehow avoided routinely forgotten about this one over the decades and had considered buying a blu-ray to finally check it out. Now here it is well-ahead of the full-moon when I regularly view a night of werewolf cinema. Lastly is the infamous remake of The Wicker Man which I'm stashing for use as a Thanksgiving cinematic turkey.

Any day when you can get some good books, cheap movies, and a few new body parts is pretty successful in my book. Time to relax and attempt to finish Super Metroid, watch something spooky, and maybe do a little schoolwork. There should be an update during the weekend and maybe another early next week. As for you Super Sentai fans, recaps will resume though it may not be until after Halloween depending on a few factors. That's all for tonight folks.

Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum (2018) Review

As a big horror fan it can be very difficult to be pleasantly surprised. Often times you hear about the good stuff long in advance of seeing it. Worse than that is when press and critics hype up some godawful hunk of crap as the next piece of classic cinema. Once in a while though something will come out of nowhere to provide some of the best scary fun you've had in a while. This October that special surprise title is a South Korean found-footage flick, Ginjiam: Haunted Asylum.. And while the film may not win any points for originality, it more than makes up for that with sheer entertainment value. I'm very eager to share this one with you all so there will be less spoilers than if you watched the trailer.

In a set-up similar to Grave Encounters (2011), Gonjiam revolves around an online ghost hunting program called Horror Times. The host has put together a plan to live-stream from the Gonjiam Psychiatric Hospital, reportedly one of the freakiest places on Earth though one that was sadly demolished shortly after the films release. For this special broadcast, the host and his two helpers take on four applicants to explore the spooky old hospital and hopefully rake in some cash should the stream earn enough viewership.

The movie takes a good chunk of time letting the characters get to know each other and have some fun. They drink some beer, play with their cameras, and be moderately annoying as young people so often are. Thankfully there's some decent bits of humor to make this all worthwhile. The one male applicant in particular earns most of the laughs.

Eventually the group makes their way to the asylum and even here there's a slow and steady build-up as we learn more about the location, and get a good dose of atmosphere. While the movie wasn't filmed in the actual building, the filmmakers made a real effort to recreate the location right down to the layout. Their effort pays off as the place never feels fake or too staged. Helping this is the camerawork that feels properly amateurish , helping to sell the illusion of a webcast.

There are two big shifts in the narrative, one more character based, and the other is what finally kicks the scary elements into high-gear. Suddenly this lighthearted and fun found-footage tale becomes sinister and intense. The final thirty-five minutes or so are pretty much non-stop scares, and we're talking sustained sequences of outright terror, not just simple jump scares. I was amazed how crazy they went. It's great stuff that's bound to make some of your more cowardly friends leave a few lights on.

Of course nothing is ever perfect. There are a few problems here and there, mostly to do with the general lack of originality. The narrative is very familiar, especially for those who've seen other haunt show flicks. One issue is a some characters sort of blend-together as you watch. The girls don't suffer from this as each of them is different enough to stand out. A couple of the guys are pretty much interchangeable however and while not a major problem it can become a little disorienting during the darker scenes. The threat can be a little vague as well with only some explanation for what this group is dealing with. I know some people take issue with subtitles, it's not a problem I understand, but I can assure you that the freaky later portions of the movie have less and less dialogue to contend with.

Even with a few weaknesses, the film benefits greatly from pure simplicity. There's no attempt to tackle major social issues or make you cry over a family in distress. Don't worry about some art-house twist, or an ending that cancels out everything you've seen. What you see is what you get, a bunch of kids go to a spooky place and are terrorized by ghosts.

If you're looking for a good movie to surprise your friends with, absolutely take a look at Gonjiam. Not only will it likely scare the pants off of some of them but it won't break the bank. As of this writing you can find copies at Wal-Mart for fifteen bucks. When was the last time you could say that about a brand new international release? There's a lot to like with this movie, it's easily one of the best recent fright flicks alongside titles like Ghost Stories and A Quiet Place. It doesn't suffer from the artistic final twist of the former, and is more breezy than the latter, It's the sort of surprising treat that doesn't come around very often, so you might as well dig in and enjoy.

Halloween Mood Table 2018

For well over a decade now, Matt of Dinosaur Dracula (formerly X-Entertainment) fame has extolled the virtues of the Halloween mood table. The concept is all about making a dedicated space crammed full of all the Halloween goodness you can muster, a totem from which to draw strength when times get tough. Long-time readers should be able to see the obvious inspiration for our annual Patrick Swayze Christmas Barstool. Despite being a major Halloween head and a fan of Matt's work for what seems like forever, I've never actually made a proper mood table. If you ever had the pleasure of visiting my house in October you'd understand why. Creating something like a mood table would seem redundant when every wall, shelf, and cupboard is already marked with ghoulish delight. This year I've taken a different outlook on the matter, taking it as an artistic challenge, and as you're about to see, I'm totally hooked.

Here's my artistic goal for this little project. Younger readers may not remember the glory days of movie rental stores but for those of a certain age we find ourselves clinging to memories of strange mom and pop operations filled with options for how best to waste our weekend. Of course one of the best features for a kid in a rental joint was getting scared silly by the horror section. Most of us couldn't actually rent these movies, hell some of us were too freaked out to touch the boxes. The only thing cooler was every year when stores would make either end-cap or counter-top displays showcasing horror classics alongside new hits turning their stock into a living decoration. With this first attempt at a true mood table I'm seeking to recreate the days when stores like Frontier Video and The Movie Market sparked my imagination with a mixture of VHS and fake spider-webs.

Another factor that routinely hampers any Mood table plans is where exactly to put it. There are plenty of surfaces around the house but each of them already has a designated task. The sideboard in the kitchen would be ideal if not for it being the same place we make tea and coffee. Lady luck happened to be on my side this year however. You see one of the recent family cleaning projects left us with an old This End Up couch in the basement. Got a lot of memories associated with this monster but its current lack of cushions has rendered it all but useless, until you flip it ass end up that is. Now I can make whatever kind of display I like and not interfere with the normal activity of the home. Better still it affords the opportunity to add some extra flair to the lower level of the home which is far more neglected in regards to decoration. Plus there's a added bit of hideaway storage gained by using a wooden couch frame this way.

First up we need a great base cover like this great table-cloth. Fairly certain we picked this up at a local thrift store and what a steal it is. This lump of material strikes a wonderful balance of cutesy but not childish that brings to mind Halloweens long past. Paired up with an air-blown light and some Beistle die-cuts and you've got a classic Midwest Autumn potluck.

These sort of displays always had a centerpiece which could be anything from statues, masks, or those fold out honeycomb standees. This was the eye-catcher to draw your attention. Seeing as the couch allows plenty of room I've got several goodies starting with the rather obvious giant light-up skull. I was torn between him and his Mummy brethren but opted to keep the bandaged menace upstairs. The witch is essentially a family heirloom by this point. It belonged to my grandmother who passed around Halloween way back in 2001. Soon after this entered my collection and always earns a place of honor. And yes I included a honeycomb standee, no that one doesn't come with a sob story. Left with some additional room I added in a black Jack-o-Lantern and snake skeleton. The skull & pumpkin put out a decent bit of light but not quite enough to showcase all these goodies. That's where Wal-Mart comes to the rescue with cheap spider lights and that oh so necessary package of fake webs. Even Mammoth Video would be jealous of this spread.

Any horror film showcase is only as good as the titles on display, forcing me to stretch my meager VHS collection to the limit. Of course there are plenty of obvious classics such as The Mummy and Halloween III. Then we move on to deep-cut material like Plague of the Zombies. After that are the movies with their own little stories.

Shattered Silence (aka When Michael Calls) is a better than average TV flick most notable for featuring a young Michael Douglas. For me it's a reminder of a very unique Halloween when I somehow got myself involved in a sleepover with my sister and her friends while the hosts' parents spent the night elsewhere. For my sister this wasn't all that unique an experience, for me it was a one of a kind holiday and this movie was a cornerstone of the night.

Possibly the shining star of my tapes, The House That Vanished my not be well-known (or very good for that matter) but it is part of that rare breed of film that never moved on to the era of DVDs and blu-rays. More than that is how I found it at a Goodwill on the very day an article of mine about neglected horror films was posted on Dread Central, This was my first ever published article for another outlet and the universe seemingly wanted to thank me by dropping this oddity in my lap.

Yes there is a standard issue Blockbuster DVD case and sleeve. Came across this while we cleaned out the movie collection and there was no way this relic was getting recycled. If you get real close you'll find this isn't a horror film at all. Truth is it's an independent tri-lingual Asian romantic drama called Last Life in the Universe. Still; I couldn't help but include this case when I think of all the memories of movies discovered at that very Blockbuster. This is the same store that introduced me to lifelong classics like Jason Lives. It represents a massive building block for my horror fanaticism along with countless memories of sitting on this same couch with family & friends watching scary movies.

Some of you might remember Vincent Price's Creepy Classics from last years Halloween coverage. Not only is Price a necessity for any good horror collection but I always seem to remember these sorts of odd specialty videos being included in these displays. Oftentimes they might be some oddball Bigfoot special or Alien Autopsy. Regardless, you must have a tape that is something other than a straight movie.

Finally there's the tape that doesn't quite belong. Whether it was due to lacking employee knowledge or some desire to push certain titles, Halloween displays always had one or two tapes that didn't fit-in. Usually this would be something along the lines of a black comedy, swear I saw War of the Roses on more than one occasion. This practice continues to this very day as earlier this week Goodwill had a stack of classic VHS horror titles like The Thing, and for some reason Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within. At least it has ghosts in it so they're not totally wrong to include it. My random pick is Slaughter: From the Beginning. A tape about the rock bands formation and early years. To the naked eye, this very old-fashioned cover art of the hot bikini babe strapped to a table and threatened with throwing knives fits right in.

Somehow I knew the Stranger Things set from Target would one day see use as a decoration. Thanks to it's size this nearly works as one of those over-sized cardboard display cases commonly used to promote new releases. It's sad to think how many of those found their way into dumpsters only for the survivors to fetch top dollar among collectors. There's no doubt in my mind a franchise like this would be on every rental end-cap in October so I feel no shame in this modern touch. Likewise with the Funko Dorbz figures scattered around.

the initial "simple" version.

Let's talk about complexity for a moment. The first night of this project I only finished a few primary touches. Some have commented that they preferred this simplistic approach, but I stayed true to my vision. The poor souls who liked the simple version didn't even know about my potential plans to incorporate a Ouija board among other oddities. Point is you can make a table however basic or ridiculous as you like. Maybe you'd enjoy a few books and your favorite scary board game, that's fine. Maybe you think it needs sparklers... well that might be against the fire code. The point is every mood table is like a tacky snowflake.

At least the sideboard is still simple.

It should be obvious that I've caught the mood table bug. It's a good thing too as my holiday spirit had started to wane over the past week or so thanks to a variety of real life tidbits. Taking the time to do this silly activity absolutely restored my spirit, leaving me primed and ready for October. It's important to remember how this is the time of year that begs for us to take a step back from responsibility and demands. And you can take that step anyway you wish be it a full-blown trip, or just a night inside watching giant monster movies by candlelight. Better yet, you can turn on some tacky ghost show and throw everything you've got on a table. You'll find yourself feeling markedly better about life, the universe, and everything.