Horror Double Feature: Amityville 3 and 4

Tonight’s post marks two, nay three, special events. First is that I am once free from the shackles of college coursework… for a week anyway. Still feels like I should apologize for my prolonged absence during this period as the combo of sociology and theology left me positively exhausted in regards to writing. The other item if note is that it’s CosmicSparky’s birthday season for both the site, a few days ago, and myself, this coming Saturday. In the aim of getting things back to normal around here along with celebrating with you all let’s just call the next week or so the great blog post catch-up (mmmmm, ketchup). I hope to get a multitude of subjects covered to make up for the extended dry spell and tonight we’re gonna pick up where we last left off, with a look at two further entries in the Amityville series. Oh and as for that third special item I hope you all notice that the site has returned to an ad-free space. Figured it was about time to start sprucing this place up. Now on with tonight’s double feature.

Amityville 3-D (1983)

Just one year after Amityville II: The Possession hit theaters it was already time for another trip into America’s most famous haunted house. For this outing the producers hired what was easily the biggest name director to grace the series with Richard Fleischer who had made such classics as Soylent Green, Fantastic Voyage, and Doctor Doolittle. Pairing him up with writer David Ambrose who was fresh off of interesting genre fare like The Final Countdown and The Survivor along with the promise of nifty 3-D techniques and everything seemed poised for the biggest Amityville yet. Sadly the results were pretty much a total disaster that nearly killed the franchise, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

The story this time around concerns a writer who has made a habit of debunking psychic phenomenon and spiritualists. After a sting operation on some con artists at the Amityville House he gets the idea to buy the joint so he can finally fully separate from his wife and create the great American novel. Over the next hour and a half this buffoon fails to realize what’s going on while his new abode slowly gobbles up everyone around him. Not the worst set-up in the world of horror but it’s the execution that counts, and that’s where 3-D falters.

The biggest issues to contend with is how dull film can be combined with a wonky tone. There are long stretches where nothing much of interest is taking place with only the occasional scare or absurd moment to snap the audience back to consciousness. Even the aforementioned scares aren’t much to write home about often relying on cheap effects like a scene featuring a flying swordfish. Moments like that are so asinine that you’d guess they were meant to be comical, only the movie presents everything as deadpan serious. Which reminds me, we might as well talk about the body count while we’re at it.

Amityville II naturally had a larger body count due to the story being based on the original DeFeo murders. Part 3-D tries to maintain that level of death and dismemberment without any straightforward method of accomplishing that goal. The result are several complicated accidents not all that different from the likes of The Omen or Final Destination films. In the previous entries the house had to do its dirty work through people which retroactively makes no sense as the evil in this one can make people crash their cars, drawn, or just straight-up pull them into hell. Later entries would do something similar so long as the victims were in the home but in this rendition the mailbox could likely bite your arm off.

Even the cast is unbalanced. Some of them do decent enough jobs. Modern pariah, Lori Laughlin is alright as the teenage daughter. Robert Joy is fairly entertaining in the thankless role of a paranormal researcher. Tony Roberts in the lead role however is a total bore. Guy can barely make a distinction between emoting deep sadness or jotting down a post-it note.

For all the aforementioned issues the movie still isn't quite as awful as its reputation might suggest. There are at least a couple of ok scenes. Most of them are atmospheric in nature, people slowly approaching the house while the wind hauls around them for instance. The best part involves a wet Lori Laughlin leading her mother through the house, which sounds totally pervy without context. The musical score isn’t half-bad either, not up to the levels of its predecessors but solidly spooky all the same.

Normally it would be considered good taste to issue spoiler warnings about the ending only the trailers for the movie already show it so I might as well go ahead and discuss it. The movie almost embodies its own failure with an ending that was seemingly inspired by Poltergeist in which the house gets cranky and explodes for some reason. It’s very fitting seeing as the movie pretty much killed the franchise. The first film was an absolute financial home run and the second did decent business, part 3 barely managed to pay for itself sending the series into dormancy for six years.

Amityville: The Evil Escapes (1989)

So what do ya do after quite literally blowing up the setting of your haunted house series? Do you ignore the events of the previous film? Do you move in a new direction? Both of these were the answer producers took when it came time to get the franchise moving once again and with the shift in structure came a different release strategy as an NBC TV flick.

The story begins at some unmarked point in time when a group of priests descend upon the Amityville home like a supernatural S.W.A.T. team. It’s a group exorcism complete with bleeding walls, flying furniture, and all manner of haunted hijinx. During the event the youngest priest sees the image of evil appear in a hideous lamp that never appeared in the previous films. He’s knocked out, the house is considered clean, and the furniture and appliances are put up for sale by the realtor. That’s where the fun begins.

Some old lady buys the ugly lamp as a gag gift for her sister on the west coast. During her purchase she also cuts her finger on a metal portion and spends her remaining screen-time battling a superpowered strand of tetanus. Her sister receives the package on the same day that her daughter and grandkids come to live with her due to their financial issues stemming from the death of the husband/dad. An escalating chain of unfortunate events occurs with the blame being placed on the stressful new living situation rather than the satanic light fixture. Back on the East Coast the young priest attempts to track down the lamp in order to save whatever poor soul has come into possession of it.

For as dumb as the idea sounds on paper, and how the shift to television would led you to anticipate a lesser production, The Evil Escapes is actually a major upgrade from 3-D. It’s all so much more fun and breezy with more likable characters, better scares. Still miles away from what most people would consider a good film but a great deal of fun all the same. Much of this is thanks to writer/director Sandor Stern who returned to the series after handling screenplay duties for the first entry. While most of his career was dedicated to random bits of television, Stern has a few more notable projects like Pin: A Plastic Nightmare that showcase some real talent.

The cast also does an admirable job of selling such a whacky storyline. Patty Duke takes the lead as the widowed mother of three, with no identical cousin to provide back-up. Jane Wyatt, aka Spock’s mom plays the grandmother with a strained relationship towards her daughter and grandkids yet a remarkable ability to face off with cursed antiques. Personally I get the biggest kick out of another Star Trek alum, Aron Eisenberg who’s playing like a thirteen year old despite being twenty.

I should note a little bit of my fondness for this entry is nostalgia. My family caught this back when it was new, I believe it was actually our first Amityville film, and so many of my notions about this series come from it. Images like the garbage disposal and the melting phone lingered with us for decades in that form that is both more frightening and silly thanks to the Vaseline vision of memory. Returning to the film as an adult however doesn’t ruin those hazy memories as Evil Escape is a perfect encapsulation of late 80’s supernatural cheese right down to a laughable ending. All in all a fine step in the right direction after the disappointment of 3-D. Not that this improvement prevented the series from making further silly choices in the years to come. That’s a story for another time however.

It feels good to be back dear readers. Don’t worry, despite how the month of June turned out, we will be talking about more than just outdated ghost movies over the next couple weeks. In fact I’m making it a goal to not slip under four entries a month for the rest of the year. Right now I gotta get back to some proper slacking, next post should be two or three days away. See you then.

Horror Double Feature: Amityville 1 and 2

You all may have noticed recently that the United States is in what you might call a rut. For any of us blogger types we have to make decisions regarding whether we should pipe up and, if so, how? Honestly I don't think the internet needs another white guy discussing racial politics so I just support groups and companies that back good causes through profit-sharing and the like. Right now I can best serve as a comforting spot away from... well... everything I guess. And so today I thought we might start a new recurring feature.

Given the extra home-time in recent months I've been viewing new flicks and revisiting old favorites at an astounding pace. One thing I've noticed is that the current climate lends an extra spice to haunted house stories, or at least a familiar element as we watch people suffer indoors at the whims of invisible enemies. This gave me the idea to take a new approach to my film franchise features by tackling only two entries at a time, thus ensuring it goes by quickly but still maintains some breathing room to really dive in. And I figured we'd start with the very troubled, and often weird, haunted house series known as The Amityville Horror.

It seems as if the reputation of this series comes down to the age of the viewer. As a kid Amityville was one of those legendary stories that everyone knew about with the first movie being a major title available on every seasonal VHS shelf. It wouldn't surprise me if many young horror fans haven't even watched the first film due to the negative reputation the story has gained in recent years. The supposed true life events of the Lutz family who moved out of their suspiciously inexpensive dream home after a month of reported supernatural activity absolutely captivated audiences during the late 1970s. Horror in general had grown massively during this time as people needed a good escape from social and economic issues. The money men at American International Pictures saw the success of the original book and snatched up film rights in a hurry which yielded a huge return on their part. As the franchise moved away from theaters and took a couple of major breaks between films is status began to loose much of that initial clout. Add to that the new perspectives on the events from documentaries claiming the events as a hoax meant to nab a quick buck and cover for George being a lousy dude. Nowadays people are more likely to discuss the controversy rather than relish the horror tale.

Compounding the franchises problems even further are the plethora of knock-off films from the likes of Asylum pictures. See there’s nothing preventing people from using the Amityville name. So while there are only ten official entries in the series many viewers mistakenly believe the count is closer to twenty. We’re not gonna talk about those imitators though, no sir. Over the next few months, likely leading into Halloween coverage, we’re going to work our way through all ten flicks within the proper series. Seeing as we've already gone over much of the backstory, let's dive right in.

The Amityville Horror (1979). Dir. Stuart Rosenberg

It only seems fair to clarify that while The Amityville Horror, at least at one point, was considered a classic horror flick that status has very little to do with its overall quality. Some movies achieve that reputation merely by doing just enough at the right point in history. Here it comes down to how this movie practically distills the entire notion of a haunted house tale into one easy to digest package. There's atmosphere, a killer score, and more than a few moments of unintentional comedy gold to hold it all together. It's that strange brew of a movie that from an objective standpoint isn't all that grand but feels comfortable and fun.

First off let's talk what works here. As I mentioned already the musical score, in fact the original rejected soundtrack for The Omen, is sublime. I think a big part of the reason this gets turned on nearly every October is to have that music as a mood piece. There's a mix of soothing and sinister tones that pairs wonderfully with the iconic visual of that house.

Next up is the daily counter that appears throughout the film. It's such a simple touch that helps to keep the pacing up by dividing the story into obvious chunks with the promise of building to something big.

Of course very little of this matters if the people on screen aren't interesting. Thankfully the pairing of James Brolin and Margot Kidder are mostly up the the task at hand. Always been a big fan of Margot and it shows how much talent she had that she could add so much character to an otherwise flat role. She's charming and down to Earth in a way that keeps the audience rooting for her. For his part Brolin gets to chew on some scenery as he gets more manic and sweaty under the evil influence of the home. Rod Steiger gets to ham it up considerably as the local priest who is repeatedly attacked by evil forces. I'd even say he gets most the best unintentional funny moments, save for Brolin “coming apart” and the nun that manages to simultaneously vomit and scream.

The most vital ingredient of them all in the story itself which, from a modern perspective, is like the greatest Unsolved Mysteries reenactment ever made. George and his new bride, single mother Kathy, buy a grand old house for an absolute steal due to its history as the sight of a grisly murder. A year before, the oldest son of the DeFeo family heard voices that convinced him to kill his family. Weirder still is how George resembles the killer. Over their first month of living in the home strange events escalate from small items going missing to the discovery of a hole to hell in the basement. The body count is low, the film is mostly clean, but dammit it just works.

Less effective are most of the scares, for each one that lands at least three others leave you with a bit of a laugh. It all comes down to different factors like budget or timing. Christmas light devil eyes are tough to present as spooky. The biggest offender of all is the climax. As the film builds and we arrive near the end of the month the final night within the house turns out to be a bit of a bore. George has to rescue the family dog and swim through some evil goo, that's about it. It's so underwhelming, even more so when compared to the crazy shit that happens in later films and books. That's really the films biggest issue. For all that it gets right there are multiple scenes of it falling flat on its face and failing to thrill.

Despite its failings I still find the first movie to be a cozy campfire tale. The whole affair is basic and a little silly yet there's a level of pure entertainment that should keep most people enthralled. Whether you like the movie or not, it was a mad success story and paved the way for many sequels to come.

Amityville II: The Possession (1982). Dir. Damiano Damiani

People mention titles like The Godfather II when it comes to sequels that outdo their predecessors but would you believe Amityville II belongs in that same camp? No joke, despite some continuity issues with the surrounding films this second film manages to be darker, scarier, an so much nastier than what came before. Much of this improvement can doubtlessly be attributed to Director Damiano Damiani who proves much better at maintaining a sense of dread along with the script from longtime John Carpenter contributor, Tommy Lee Wallace.

Based on a book detailing the actual DeFeo murders this entry takes the route of being a prequel, albeit with changed names and some obvious dramatization. The story concerns the Montelli family, a supremely messed-up flock who move into their new home with hopes of a fresh start. Problem is the dad's an abusive prick, mom's a nutter, and the kids have some questionable relationship quirks. The house preys on these issues as it takes control of the eldest kid, Sonny and convinces him to kill his family. Caught up in all this is the local priest who fails to protect the family and must try to save Sonny from possession after the fact.

A lot of this movie rests on the shoulders of a few actors. The most prominent is Jack Magner, an actor who only took on two roles before fleeing Hollywood for a normal life. It's a shame too as he's very adept at shifting between sorrowful and full-on evil. Then there's Burt Young, best known as Paullie from the Rocky series, as the horrid dad. He is so easy to hate here that it's just beautiful. James Olson, one of those “that guy” actors, plays the closest thing to a hero as Father Adamsky and does a fairly solid job. Lastly there's Diane Franklin as the eldest daughter of the family who serves as a connective glue for everything and provides the film with the required amount of nudity. She does an excellent job of handling heavy material while still coming across as young and naieve.

As mentioned earlier this is so much darker than the previous entry that it just revels in misery. As expected there's a much higher body count but that's nothing compared to all the emotional torment, abuse, incest, practically a take-out menu of unpleasant acts. Naturally this makes for a far less comfortable viewing experience but man does it ever stick with you. And that's not even counting the scares. Right near the middle of this film there is an extended sequence with Sonny home alone that ranks among the best haunted house scenes. Sadly the movie never tops it, but if the first flick is a spooky novelty this is total horror. There's even some nasty gore in parts, one notably involving a melting face.

What is a bit of a letdown, and something that is shared with the first, is the climax. The final exorcism sequence is entertaining and freaky but the resolution is bit of a head-scratchier. Combined with the overall negativity of the story it can leave you feeling unsatisfied. Even so, this is such a grim and oppressive feature that should be seen by any horror fan.

Overall the first two entries make for as solid a start as any series could ask for. Things would soon take a sudden turn towards the absurd however which necessitated course corrections. All those topics are for another day. In the meantime you'll just have to cope with whatever I throw out as our next update, likely Sentai as there is a ton to talk about on that front. Stay safe folks and count your blessings if you live in a normal, not evil, house.