Holiday Snacks: Hot Coca Oreo, Peppermint Twinkee, Mtn Dew Holiday Brew, Slated Caramel Pepsi.

The common practice round here whenever updates have been sparse is to blame whatever extraneous thing has been eating up my time. Lately, that's become difficult as for the life of me I can't quite figure out where November went! While most of this year has gone at a fairly steady pace, this month has just been melting away at breakneck pace. I feel lucky that I've accomplished a good deal of my recent to do list but even that still has eight or so items left to wrap up before December. I suppose it's a blessing then that there have been a few moments calm enough to allow tastes of the new holiday treats. Let's give em a look before I turn around to find out it's new years.

Another day, yet another Oreo flavor. This one comes as part of a marketing push since the company recently released their own hot coco mix. While I've yet to try the drink, I'm happy to report that these cookies mark another victory for the companies ever expending line of flavors.

Let's keep it simple; these smell like hot chocolate, they taste like it too. If you hadn't thought of it that's not much of a stretch from normal Oreo flavor. This is no wild trip into bizarre territory like Swedish Fish or Peeps. It's a fairly basic flavor executed very nicely.

Here's the odd part. Usually whenever I bring home a new Oreo variety, everyone in the house soon voices their opinion be it negative of positive. With these, hardly a word was said about them and yet they had vanished in less than 24 hours. I'd definitely call them a hit, just something of a quiet one.

A treat that has provided plenty of loud opinions are Peppermint Twinkees. And the common verdict around here is that these are gross, though I can't say I fully agree with that sentiment.

Right out of the package these are bright, cinnamon candy red. The sort of red that makes your mouth hurt just looking at it. It's such a cartoonish looking item it could have jumped straight out of some animated Christmas special. That effect if further amplified by the odd pinkish cream.

Flavor wise.....well..it is minty but not a refreshing mint. This is the kind of situation where the flavor naturally clashes with the type of foodstuff. Mint seems nice when it's coming out of a hard candy or maybe even some refreshing cucumber water, but a fatty snack cake is another matter entirely. Perhaps they're better frozen but I've yet to try such an experiment.

While I can't wholeheartedly recommend these Twinkees, I very much enjoyed my time with them. Sure they're a little gross. At the same time they're the sort of ridiculous novelty that makes life more fun.

Cheetos Snowlfakes isn't some new right wing insult, it's simply the winter variation on the popular Cheetos Bones. If you've had those before than there's nothing much to say here. You either enjoy cramming your mouth full of somewhat dry cheese puffs or you don't. I do, which earns these a pass.

Of course you need something to wash down all this festive food and what better way than crazy high sugar soda? That's right, Mtn Dew has come up with their own Holiday Brew which I'd heard nothing about before beholding a massive end cap of this cheery concoction. That sort of surprise is rare in this day and age when everything is spoiled or reported within mere seconds of release. Major props to Dew for sneaking one out.

Oddly enough after the fun new gamer fuel flavors, this yuletide variant is simply regular Dew mixed with Code Red, cause red and green equals Christmas, get it? Soda mathematics aside this is a solid brew. The experience reminds me of the old juice and sherbet punches my mother used to make for holiday gatherings. Sure it's not quite as foamy but that nostalgic taste is there. It makes one wonder what might happen if this were used to make one of those punches. The results would most likely be diabetes but man what a trip it would be.

I think this will easily be one of the highlights of the season for junk food lovers so run out, buy a case, and give your friends a sugar high.

The other new holiday soft drink is more of an eyebrow raiser. Salted Caramel is already one of those flavors that gets tossed into far too many items with greatly differing results. The idea of drinking a Pepsi flavored in this fashion seemed like a surefire way to ruin a good night, especially after the horrendous Pepsi Fire.

I made certain to make a group experience out of this one by parceling a bottle among shot glasses. The shock heard round the living room was that this honestly wasn't too bad. Imagine Buttershots and Pepsi without the alcoholic burn and this is the result.

While the flavor turned out to be ok, it still didn't seem like the sort of thing I'd chug down on my own until one night yielded sinus drainage and an irritated throat. This being the only fizzy drink on hand made it the only option to clear out the congestion, and wouldn't ya know it made for an enjoyable time. Not saying you should stock the basement with 12 packs but at the very least give Salted Caramel Pepsi a go.

Given that this was just a handful of this years snack offerings I'd say we're in for a spiffy December. Now the trick is to accomplish something, anything before we get there. Time permitting you'll be seeing another post here this week, I'm thinking something with ruffles.

Star Wars Book Club: The Legends of Luke Skywalker Review

During The Force Awaken, Han Solo informs the newest generation of heroes that “The Force. The Jedi....All of it...It's all true.” And while that may make for a solid quote he probably should have clarified what they'd already heard about historical events as heroes tend to inspire a great deal of tall tales. That's the concept behind the most recent Star Wars novel, The Legends of Luke Skywalker, an anthology of potentially false or misinformed stories about the farm boy turned space wizard. Given the nature of this storytelling format, this review is going to be slightly different than usual. More importantly, could this be the first Luke focused book of the new continuity to not completely suck? Time to find out.

The Wraparound Story

Aboard a cargo ship bound for Canto Bight, cremates swap tales of the legendary hero, Luke Skywalker. One of them is helping a stowaway who once had her own encounter with the last Jedi. Unless any of these characters manage to pop up in the new movie, this story isn't bound to prove all that important to the greater universe. That's not really the point so much as to showcase how the very idea of a mystical hero can unit and inspire people. On that point, this wraparound works out just fine, just don't go in expecting some deep emotional pathos or grand hints about the future of the franchise.

The Myth Buster

The first segment gives off some of that classic Arabian Nights vibe of stories within stories. The deepest layer of this narrative chip dip is a conspiracy theory about how Luke was just the key player in a massive con job. Honestly it's a pretty nifty write-up of how the original trilogy could have been a public relations trick meant to sucker the common man into supporting the rebel alliance. Who spearheaded this rouse you ask? Why that would be Benny O'Kenoby, a wise intergalactic grafter. Even the existence of the Death Star is waved off with alternative explanations for how Alderaan was destroyed. Essentially this is a truther version of events though the commentary of other characters along helps to keep it fun, along with an appairent cameo from the main man himself.

The Starship Graveyard

Next we have a tale from an Imperial perspective, told by a soldier who is left near death after the battle of Jakku. A mysterious figure arrives and cares for the solider as the pair braves the dangers of the desert planet and smoldering starship rubble.

Easily one of the better tales in the book, it hinges on the notion that this mystery man may not even be Luke. In fact, it seems quite likely this is just another soldier merely playing the role in order to survive a bad situation.

Another interesting aspect to this story is how Imperials thought of Luke after his duel with the Emperor. In their mind he's something close to a demon. A magical bogeyman fueled entirely by lightning and rage. The same grunt who fears this enemy is able to see another viewpoint when he meets a group of individuals who need a hero to follow.

Fishing in the Deluge

Another solid bit of storytelling arrives with this yarn about a quiet, tropical planet whose populace lives off the bounty of the sea, rides giant birds, and follows the flow of the tide, their version of the force.

Unlike the previous two tales, this seems like a legitimate record of Luke's activities as he visits this place to learn more about how it's inhabitants use the tide. He is met with resistance yet given an opportunity to learn if he can complete a set of challenges with select children as his guides.

While there's nothing massively informative here, this is a breezy and entertaining story that showcase how other people view the energy of the universe.

I, Droid

Things begin to slow down with a narrative told entirely by an enslaved droid. No, the perspective isn't the problem so much as the story they tell is an odd combination of slow and over the top. The droid in question wasn't enslaved by just anyone you see, it were taken to an inhospitable world which houses a secret cabal of rich layabouts who use droid labor to continue their elegant lifestyle.

After being altered to become an enforcement droid to keep others in line, our narrator offers details on a particularly willful specimen called R2-D2 and later a very strange droid that is revealed to be Luke in disguise. The Jedi liberates the robotic lifeforms and brings down the sheltered society of scum who enslaved them, meanwhile earning respect from the droids for his own inorganic components.

The point here is essentially how Luke is a hero to all walks of life, even those who aren't technically alive. Beyond that is a welcome look into one of the lesser elements of this franchise, the bizarre and enduring cruel treatment of artificial life. However, the dull progression mixed with the odd setting make this one a bit laborious to get through.

The Tale of Lugborious Mote

Here's the one that's quickly gotten some flack from the fanbase either because they're taking it too seriously, simply weren't prepared for such an outlandish story, or just couldn't abide it's goofy tone. The plot concerns that of a highly intelligent flea who lives on Salacious Crumb (Jabba the Hut's weird monkey pet). This flea claims credit for Luke's victory over the rancor and Jabba's barge as he tricks Skywalker by pretending to be the force.

Obviously this one is meant to be a laugh as well as a tale of fame by proximity. The person relating this tale claims that the flea in question has an act where it plays out the entire saga of Jabba's palace/barge on a miniature replica. Maybe that's true. Perhaps the truth is some higher evolved insect was witness to those events and simply twisted the narrative for personal gain. In essence, the very sight of Luke doing his heroics could open up an entire career for someone.

The problem when it comes to such a patently silly concept as this one is that it requires a light, humorous touch that simply doesn't come through as strongly as it should. Which means this farce is closer to a chore.

Big Inside

Finally we return to somewhat more traditional narrative about Luke and a biologist finding themselves trapped within a giant space slug and searching for an escape before they are digested. Personal issue; I've never liked the whole trapped inside a big monster trope. Even for someone who loves gore this setting is just too icky and weird for my liking.

Taste aside we are offered yet another take on the force via beings called Mist Weavers and the story flows fairly smoothly. It's just such an odd tale to wrap up with. More so when you try to figure out how the teller would have even heard of these events to begin with. I'd like to chalk this one up to being pure fantasy though it's written with enough of a straight face to seem legit.

Overall

In the end, The Legends of Luke Skywalker fares better than other novels based on the character by focusing on what he means to other people rather than another unnecessary tale of his force education. At the same time, this is much more of a playful love letter to the character than a hint of his journey after the original films. Anyone looking for grand tales of his work building a new Jedi academy or teaching his nephew will be sorely disappointed.

Author, Ken Liu keeps the book going mainly by staying light and breezy. Characters are largely stock personality types, events are kept at the right level of interesting while potentially false. Essentially it's the novelized form of a kid playing Jedi in the backyard. That style makes for an inherently comfortable read, just not one that's all that deep or important, making this one tough to place on the rankings.

1. Lost Stars by Claudia Gray

2. New Dawn by John Jackson Miller

3. Bloodline by Claudia Gray

4. Guardians of the Whills by Greg Rucka

5. Ashoka by E.K. Johnston

6. Tarkin by James Luceno

7. Thrawn by Timothy Zahn

8. Battlefont Twilight Company by Alexander Freed

9. Moving Target by Cecil Castelluci and Jason Fry

10. Before the Awakening by Greg Rucka

11. The Legends of Luke Skywalker by Ken Liu

12. Catalyst by James Luceno

13. Smuggler's Run by Greg Rucka

14. Heir to the Jedi by Kevin Hearne

15. Lords of the Sith by Paul S. Kemp

16.Aftermath by Chuck Wendig

17.The Weapon of a Jedi by Jason Fry

That's all for today, folks. I've got a mountain of stuff to work on though I plan to bring another update before Thanksgiving. Remember; this Friday is The Feast of Maximum Occupancy so be sure to treat yourself. 

Ninninger vs ToQger The Movie: Ninjas in Wonderland

Halloween is over, a statement I find hard to believe not because I'm hanging on to the past but because I'm still elbow deep in the clean-up. When not sorting fake tombstones, working one of the jobs, or entertaining visiting relatives, I've been catching up on sleep. Of course that makes it pretty easy to let this place fall by the wayside but that ends now. What better segway could there be from pumpkins to Christmas trees than a series with space monsters and brightly colored superheroes? Seeing as I detest Kyuranger and we're still months away from its' replacement I figured we'd work our way through films based on the two Sentai series we've reviewed in full. Armed with the knowledge that we've already gone through the Ninninger summer movie we find ourselves catching up with two teams in Ninninger vs. ToQger The Movie: Ninjas in Wonderland.

Going in there was some worry about the ToQger portion of the film as life lead to me breaking off from the show less than a third of the way through its' run. It's not as if I disliked the show. I found it a nice little slice of upbeat entertainment in an otherwise sour year. Still; I never made it to any of the big revelations or even the introduction of the sixth ranger for that matter. Any worry that this would cause confusion during this film was unnecessary as this is very much a Ninninger affair, warts and all.

Fully expect this pic to increase site traffic tenfold.

The movie kicks off with the Ninninger crew riding a train towards a ninja themed amusement park during which they are each slowly sucked into strange fantasy scenarios such as being a crew of gun-toting international spies. These opportunities to let the characters play around with new situations are quickly wasted as the fantasies account for less than ten of the opening minutes. The reason these delusions don't go on further is thanks to the intervention of the ToQger who plan to rescue the ninjas from being captured and turned evil by a villain named Dr. Mavro.

Of course one of them happens to fall into the evil doctors clutches, that being Takaharu whose abilities are combined with the spirits of evil ninja clones to make an evil ranger that will spread darkness via a big cloud. This causes Taka to be ripped from his body and face slowly fading into nothingness. Sadly this is about as complex as the plot gets.

That lacking sense of scale may be the biggest issue here. Most Sentai films I've seen, even particularly lousy ones, make sure to up the threat level or take place in a new environment that makes proper use of the higher budget and run time. Other than some more active camerawork during fight scenes this may as well be another episode of the show, and not a very good one at that.

I don't want it to sound like this is an absolute shitbrick of a film here. Most of the basics of Sentai are on display without many major drawbacks. However, as usual for Ninninger it fails to chose what it wants to be. The opening delusions suggest it will be a wild trip that allows these characters to branch out, only to ditch the concept completely and become an incredibly basic team-up. Even the vs portion of the title makes zero sense as the teams don't even have a customary conflict stemming from some misunderstanding. And while it seems like there may be a slight mixing of team member as ToQger wants to rescue Takaharu without risking further ninja abductions, the notion is tossed aside within minutes in a long dramatic moment that boils down to “you should stay here and be safe.....nevermind, let's go together!”

Then there's the way ToQger is treated within the film. The team has practically zero reason to be involved and beyond that they're vastly underwritten and missing some key elements. First off Conductor, Wagen, and Ticket only make blink and you'll miss it cameos in flashbacks. Sixth Ranger, Akira doesn't appear until the halfway point only to see probably less than three minutes of total screen time, most of which is just the stuntman. Even the team's core gimmick of color swapping is totally ignored which is a massive missed opportunity as they could have confounded their new friends or possibly shared the ability to make color-swapped Ninningers.

Meanwhile the Ninninger front is just weird. Continuity wise this seems to take place after grampa dies in the show, yet nobody seems very torn up. Takaharu as always gets the most screen time but feels watered down compared to his usual antics. And you remember aht I said about, Akira? Well that pretty much applies to Kinji as well. Seriously, this movie has something against sixth rangers.

In the end we're given a straight hour of mostly lazy Sentai. There's nothing notability thrilling or funny here other than perhaps the forced cameo by Zyuohger who display far more personality than everything else going on while defeating one of the villains which our main heroes never question the fate of. Do they think the guy just disappeared? I'd recommend the movie more than an episode of Kyuranger but that's not really saying much, is it?

So my big return to Sentai coverage wasn't so hot but we've still got a handful of flicks to talk about while we wait for the next series. On top of that there are plenty of Star Wars novels, holiday foods, and oddities to discuss in the near future. I'll make an honest attempt to get around to everything as penance for missing my last Halloween article. On that matter, I gotta get back to packing up decorations but before I go, if anybody has a request for some sidelined Sentai coverage, drop a comment and we'll see what we can do.