Phew (wipes brow). It's been a decent
bit, hasn't it? Yes indeed, kiddies I have been busy of late. Within
the past few days I have accomplished over half of my goals for the
entire month of may. Not to mention possibly getting a job and having
some fine times with friends & family. I hope you'll forgive my
bragging. Honestly it's a rare treat in life to be this satisfied
with ones own progress and personal standing and I'd feel remiss not
to give that feeling a shout-out.
Of course what most likely brought
any of you here was a shoddy web search for monster movie information
and I have no intention of disappointing you with my own personal
details. So pop a squat and join me for another wave of Giant lizard
mayhem.
Godzilla vs Hedorah
After the abomination that was All
Monsters Attack there was a severe need for a fresh perspective. As
luck would have it, a new director was brought into the franchise who
spiced up the sagging series with one of the wildest entries around.
From psychedelic musical numbers to hippie camp outs and even
multiple animated sequences this one never fails to surprise. Chief
among its triumphs is Hedorah himself. Made entirely out of pollution
and mock this is possibly the most evil son bitch to ever face off
against the big G. Hedorah kills people by the score, never lets up,
and proves to be a nasty adversary. He's such a nuisance that
Godzilla actually resorts to tearing the evil bastards balls out.
Absolutely nuts and a fine adventure that any giant monster fan
should check out. Two bits of trivia on this one. It is the only film
in which Godzilla can fly. Also it's director, Yoshimitsu Banno was
reprimanded by the producers and told that he would never direct for
Toho again, let alone touch Godzilla. Banno is now the producer of
the new movie so I'd call that a win.
Godzilla vs Gigan
This one attempts to follow in the
wild style of its predecessor but just doesn't have the strength to
pull it off. The plot revolves around a Manga artist and his karate
kickin girlfriend as they try to stop a mysterious group from
overtaking the world with their evil theme park built around a laser
blasting zilla statue. Sounds like it should be fun right? Well
sometimes it is, just not enough of the time. Lots of monster footage
is recycled from earlier films (a practice that had begun a few
entries before) and there's a general lack of energy. One standout
bit is the part where the bad guys are revealed to be giant
cockroaches from outer space. Even that isn't enough to save this
from being totally skipable.
Godzilla vs Megalon
Ask as many Godzilla fans as you want
and you'll get one of two answers about this one. A: It's the worst
thing to ever feature our favorite emerald lizard. Or B: It's so
amazingly stupid that it boarders on genius. I lean more towards the
B camp overall. The story is about a subterranean race that releases
their monster supreme, Megalon upon the surface dwellers...and I
think they enlist Gigan somehow to back him up. Meanwhile a renowned
scientist and his crew of flunkies find out about the evil plot from
below and get drawn in along with their super robot, Jet Jaguar who
is just a really creepy Ultraman knockoff. Lacking much in the way of
subtlety or common sense this one drifts from one goofball moment to
the next. I'd tell most of you out there to skip it unless you're in
the mood for something so lame it's wonderful.
Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla
You'll have to cut me some slack on
this one as it is incredibly similar to the movie that follows which
creates kind of a blending effect in my mind. After years of being a
good guy, Godzilla suddenly takes up his old hobbies of murder and
terror. People are in shock until another Godzilla shows up to fight
the evil one which is revealed to be Mechagodzila. Ol Mecha was
created by a race of space apes in order to overrun the earth. Of
course those dumb monkeys don't plan on the original king of the
monsters to enlist a little help from the mystical King Caesar. Can't
say as I remember much but I know it was a good one. Good enough that
this match-up ends up appearing multiple times over the history of
these films. Wouldn't say you have to watch it but it couldn't hurt.
Terror of Mechagodzilla
A rematch so soon? Picking up right
after the last one we have more monkey men working with a scientist
to rebuild mechagodzilla while controlling new contender
Titanosaurus. As I said before, this can blend with the previous one
fairly easily so forgive me if I completely mix things up. From what
I recall it is a bit better than the first match-up against the
mechanical monstrosity thanks in part to a more emotional bent. Of
course I could have some rose colored glasses thanks to this being
the last one I had to watch in order to finish the franchise. The
ending where Godzilla marches out to the ocean marked an
accomplishment for me and the end of the original series. A solid
adventure. Give it a shot.
The Return of Godzilla (AKA Godzilla
1985)
After almost a decade in exile Toho
decided to return the big brute to his rightful place in the world.
In a move that modern Hollywood would just love, this one is a direct
continuation of the first film, ignoring all the sequels that came in
between, thous beginning the Hesei series. Similar to the first flick
there are no other monsters for the big guy to fight. It's just a
simple classic giant monster slaps shit down event. Haven't watched
it in years so what made it special is tough. Still; I remember it
being good easily digestible fun that makes decent entertainment.
Check it out if you can but be aware that it is extremely difficult
to get your hands on, especially in it's proper Japanese form.
Godzilla vs Biollante
After letting a few years pass it was
time to continue the big dudes new adventures and introduce some new
threats. Biollante is a marvelous creature to behold. The product of
supernaturally infused roses and Godzilla DNA known as G-Cells this
towering she beast is downright freaky. The G-cells later become a
recurring element to this second series as does a psychic girl who
tries to connect to Godzilla. There's already a lot to like here
thanks to all the new ideas but what really makes it shine is that
the human story is truly entertaining to watch. There's international
espionage, twisted experiments, and threats of mankind getting too
big for its britches. An outstanding kaiju movie for anyone
interested.
Godzilla vs King Ghidorah
Ohhhh boy. As if the reset continuity
from a few movies back wasn't bad enough, they bring in time travel
to screw things up a little more. So some folks calling themselves
the futurians show up with a plan to prevent Godzilla from ever
existing. They take some of our people back in time to remove a
dinosaur known as a Godzillasaurus from an island that was destroyed
by an atomic blast. They also dump off a few lil creatures in his
place. Arriving back in the present the futurians use King Ghidorah,
who formed from the small critters. To subjugate Japan because it
becomes too powerful in the future. Little do they know that the
island they moved the dinosaur to was the resting place for an atomic
sub so Godzilla still exists! Did I mention that King Ghidorah
becomes Mecha at one point? Or the freaky android dude? Or how about
the weird flirtatious relationship between a modern guy and a future
girl who later reveals herself to be his granddaughter? Convoluted,
messy, but still pretty fun. Maybe check it out if you have the
time.
Godzilla and Mothra; The Battle for
Earth
Keeping it simple......this movie
sucks balls. Turns out there's another version of Mothra named Battra
who chooses to destroy humanity because they've become too much of a
threat to the Earth. That's about as in depth as the story gets. This
thing is just boring and preachy with the soundtrack being it's only
redeeming quality. I don't want any of you fine folks suffering
through this dull excuse for a monster movie. Stay away!
Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla II
After the boring mess that was the
battle for earth it was time to revisit a few more nasties. Rodan,
Mechagodzilla, and even Manilla (now called baby) all return. There's
lots of city crushing action but very little in the way of story. We
do learn that the king of the monsters has a secondary brain in his
hips....so that's something. A lot of folks consider this to be a
superior entry in the series but I find the lack of a decent story
makes for a lackluster time. You could check it out but I wouldn't
recommend it.
That's it for the second part of
our countdown. Come back next time for the end of the second series,
all of the third, and the horrid All-American abomination sandwiched
in between. Peace!
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