Milk Chocolate Pringles and Candy Booze, Amongst Other Things.

Hiya folks. Been a while, hasn't it? Yeah....sorry bout that. Been trying to stay busy and catch up on a few things and then I realized this page hasn't been touched for a few weeks. Let's remedy that shall we?

How was Halloween for everyone? Mine wasn't bad. The weather was a tad saucy and there were lil tidbits I'd like to have been different but there lies the charm with every holiday. Those small things you want to improve on help to make each one unique. Still had a good time handing out candy with nearly the whole family dressed up as assorted monsters, watching a nice stash of flicks. Even got to tune into my public domain special, which yes I neglected to post on here, I'll try to do better for the Thanksgiving one.

 

One little treat I prepared for myself that night was my first experimentation in the field of candy infused vodka. I've had a fondness for that particular fire water for most of my life and love the fact that like me, it eats candy. I made four small batches to try. Red skittles, green skittles, candy corn, and it's uglier cousin Indian corn. Overall the results were successful though I need to readjust my proportions a bit. Both skittles versions came out quite nicely and make for some damn fine screwdrivers with the side effect of looking like witch's poison which only added to the Halloween vibe. The corns on the other hand were more of an acquired taste. Anyone who's ever had them knows the strange film left in your mouth afterward. Well, whichever oil causes that translates directly to the vodka. Still; I'd recommend the regular candy corn vodka but not Indian corn. That twisted black juice was not meant for human consumption. I'm definitely planning on trying more candy vodka to go along with the onslaught of Christmas foods. I mean all those special candy canes need some loving too.

 

A few nights of being restless meant it was time for a late night wonder through walmart. Seeing as the journey involved riding a moped in twenty degree weather, I was determined to bring something home with me. Lo and Behold new Christmas Pringles and Lofthouse cookies were there to greet me. I figured there was a strong chance that at least two of these items would be pure shit but let's call it a Holiday miracle that everything worked out nicely.

I started my trip through flavortown with the caramel apple cookies. Upon opening the case I was met with an overpowering smell, a bit uncharacteristic of traditional lofthouse offerings. Biting into the beast offered a surprisingly smooth flavor. Neither the caramel nor the apple takes center stage. The only thing that threw me off is that these are more solid than their regular cookiesm dryer too, which could be a plus depending on what you want from a cookie. These are not game changer, but a decent way to spend some snack money.

Cinnamon Sugar Pringles Tortillas were something I actually figured would be ok and they actually exceeded those expectations. When we popped open the tube there was a fairly normal tortilla smell. Nothing at all like you'd expect given the name. Eating one revealed a flavor similar to classic cinnamon laced treats like elephant ears or empanadas just not as strong. I'd say it makes for a fine choice when you want that seasonal cinnamon vibe but just a little lighter.

The big nasty of tonight’s shopping trip was easilly Milk Chocolate Pringles. Having tried the white chocolate version before and being generally unimpressed left me thinking that these would be tried and then tossed. It is trash night after all. The smell is pretty rank and artificial but I continued on and found the chips to be of all things, fucking awesome. Don't go in expecting milk chocolate flavor. This is a smore chip, plain and simple. There is chocolate with a hint of something creamier. The salted chip fills in for graham crackers and the result is nice & tasty. One day these will be included in the grand museum of things that have no right to be good but are.

 

Obviously a man needs something to wash all that sugary stuff down with, and what could be better than more diabetes sauce? Found Swamp Pop last weekend at World Market. No Real details are needed, This shit is outstanding. If you find it, buy it! Monster Ripper doesn't get an outright recommendation though. It was good, don't get me wrong there. It just lacked something for me. What it could be is that this is smoother (I.E. less bitey) than other Monsters. This could be a huge win for someone else but I'd sooner pick up the more powerful M-80 or Nitrous versions over this one. Hell; let's blame that crazy lady who thinks monster in a tool of Satan. She colored my expectations for the whole week.

I gotta skate for now kiddies. I'm aiming on getting some better employment which means I've got an app to fill out. Ugh, no fun. To tide you over until the next update, does anyone have a good tip for what should be on my Thanksgiving special? I've got Plan Nine from Outer Space lined up along with the Liberace thanksgiving special. I need a second public domain flick but I can't even pick my genre. Should I do some sort of old Muscle Man flick? Kaiju? Kung-Fu? Gimme some hints.

Halloween Madness 2014

It's almost time everyone. As we speak The big day isn't far away. Currently a thunderstorm is raining down during a double feature of The Hitcher and Evil Dead II. The candy bags are ready, the tote of animatronics prepared, pumpkins at the ready to be carved. Halloween is here.

 

Check that out folks! That's some full on branding right there. After years of talking about making a public domain movie show I finally got off my ass and did it. Lo and behold the public access channel even made this lil advertisement slide for me. Feels good to see something like this on the screen. Now I'll admit there's barely any host segments to this special as it was made on the fly with the possibility of not being finished in time. Now that I've learned my way around the editing, rendering, copying, etc, I feel confident in making the Thanksgiving and Christmas specials bigger and better. You fine folks need not worry about missing out either as I have plans to upload the specials and post them right here.

 

Another pleasant sight was this bad boy. A sheet of Scream Factory magnets from my recent company direct order. Yes everyone is able to get these, and I'd suggest you get yourself some right now. The feeling plasturing these all over the fridge is some major icing for a decent season. (Edit: looks like these are out of stock now. Sorry for rubbing them in your face).

Speaking of the season, there was a very good night spent out with my people at the Shawhaven haunted farm in Mason Michigan. Overall it's one of the best values I've ever encountered in the horror attraction world. 25 bucks will get you a hayride, cornmaze, and haunted house. An extra five bucks will net you a ride in a coffin that simulates being buried alive. You better believe I paid for the whole package. I try not to put out too much personal stuff but suffice to say it was a great time with my friends and it was a night I'll be looking fondly back on for quite some time.

 

A new activity for my current Halloween festivities has been puzzles. Don't mistake me here, puzzles suck, and for years I just stunk at them, yet something seems to have been rewired in my nigget so that I'm fully capable of knocking one out. An exciting development? No. I still think it's neat though.

Next up it's food and (mostly drinks) ahoy! There's been no shortage of new tastes lately. More than likely a few things will simply end up being forgotten before I even write about em but let's give it a shot eh?

 

Angie's Candy Corn Kettle Corn is absolutely outstanding! I don't care if you have nothing but pure venom towards candy corn or its Indian cousin, this stuff is smooth, creamy, sweet. Ohhhh it's got the flavor and texture confectioned corn was always meant to have which when drizzled over popcorn is just awesome. Not sure how easy it is to find in most areas. Strangely enough I came across it at a health food store of all places.

What didn't need to be bought from a hippie emporium was the Harvest Pumpkin tortellia chips. The brand that makes these things is called Food Should Taste Good which almost serves as a review. The chips do in fact taste good...not amazing, definitely wouldn't make nachos with em, but they are good...........as they......should be?

 

All of the new taste sensations don't necessarily belong to the seasonal food category. For instance these Dry brand sodas started poppin up around here. Being the adventurous type I began my sampling with they're strangest flavor. Believe it or not, Cucumber soda is actually pretty good. Not as good as celery soda but I can easily see myself snatching one up every now and then.

 

Also from Dry brand, this vanilla bean soda was disappointing. I mean if you can get cucumber right, how could you possibly screw up vanilla? Yet they did with a thoroughly uninspired drink that is only made interesting when drank alongside various candies.

For as daring as the cucumber nonsense may seem, nothing came out of left field quite like Rockstar Horchata energy drink. Yes sir, a horchata energy drink. Against all odds, this not only exists, but is pretty good to boot. Before I get to the positives, it would seem best to warn you that this stuff inspires more wee wee runs to the bathroom than anything I've had in a while. I suppose this could be considered a plus for anyone attempting to detox or prepping for a drug test. There's your endorsement potheads. Another issue is that no matter how much you shake it, all the lil rice bits just settle right back to the bottom thous leaving you with a soggy lump at the bottom of every can. Otherwise the taste and consistency is great and the cinnamon helps to keep your sugar from bombing out as is the case with so many energy drinks.

 

Coco Fizz is yet another attempt at making chocolate soda which comes to us via Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory (if there's a better name for my butthole I have yet to hear it). While this is a cut above other chocolate sodas it's still kinda gross and weird.....to me at least. Honestly I didn't feel it was terrible, just not good. My friend on the other hand really enjoys it. I suppose if you've been searching endlessly for the top coco soda you at least owe this stuff a shot.

Saugatuck Neapolitan milk stout. Let it be known far and wide that milk and beer are great friends. While this isn't the best milk stout I've come across, it does live up to the promise of having three flavors floating around. Unfortunately it's impossible for those flavors to be layered, making it less Neapolitan and more chococerynilla.....I suppose that'd be harder to market.

Pumpkin Chai beer from....can't remember, is based on sound logic. All three items are delicious on their own, and have frequently worked well together. Why not shove all of them into one bottle? Ohh but the results (shakes head). I still think this could make for something tasty but this particular batch doesn't leaves zero taste of pumpkin or chai, just dark beer. I wish there was more detail to add but this was just a total disappointment. Save your money.

 

Shock Top Honey Bourbon Cask ale is just so gross. Wood polish with honey. Nice cap though.

Smutty nose pumpkin ale is good and basic stuff. Nothing too remarkable but nice. Seems like it'd go along quite well with fishing. Which I find odd as I associate very few things with fishing.

Woodchuck out on a limb is something quite surprising. Normally the woodchuck brand means passable taste and maybe a headache to go with it but here that's not the case. There's some real effort put into this stuff that makes the flavors of chocolate & respberry really stand out without any of the usual cider side-effects. Good stuff that's worth a shot if you come across it.

Oh boy. As is far too often the case, this entry has taken a couple nights to finish up. Now it's the morning of Devils Night. I've got carving to do and a list minute inventory/prep of the final wave of decorations. Not to mention it'd be a mistake to miss out on one more spooky walk, oh and I might hit up the thrifts stores.....I've got a lot to do. In case I'm not back on here in time I'd like to wish all my small readership a great Halloween. Go scare up some fun.

Book Sale 2014!

It's that time again folks. For anyone who's read this site for a while you may remember my yearly binge at the local library book sale every October. For the past 4 or 5 years this sale has served as an excuse to hunt for some horror literature along with whatever other oddities I can dig up along the way. Really, I can't imagine Halloween without this sale. It's as much a part of the season for me as carving pumpkins and nightly horror flicks. This year easily ranks as the best haul I've ever had, with over 20 items obtained from two separate visits. Given my average reading speed, I'd say I'm covered through Valentines day at the very least. Let's check out the swag shall we?

 

First up is the horror selection. Last year was somewhat rough on this front but there were no issues this time around. In fact; there was actually enough choices available that I had to leave some things behind. When you can feel confident in shrugging off a killer doll novel, you know it's a good day. So What do I have here?

The very first title I picked up was harvest Home by Thomas Tryon. My sister actually pointed this one out and it took me a moment to recall that Tryon was responsible for old Monstervision favorite “The Other.” Couldn't be more excited to go through another of his folksy horror tales, but another book takes precedence above all others.

Crooked Tree: Honestly; I was already feeling pretty confident in my stack of spooky stories but this baby shot straight up to priority #1 based on two simple factors. One is critical praise by Frank DeFellita, the awesome writer and sometimes director of tales like Audrey Rose, Dark Night of the Scarecrow, and the Entity. About the only praise from an author that could garner this much excitement from me is if I saw a quote from Graham Masterton proclaiming a book to be gory.

The second shining element of this book is there inner cover which reveals the main threat of the story. See that bear in the tree, well check this out!

 

It's a werebear! A sexy lady werebear at that! God almighty this thing is failure proof! I mean how could a book about a bear woman not be at least marginally entertaining? If this sucker pans out expect an entry about Werebears any day now.

Other than those two highlights, I've got some thrillers and my first attempt at plowing through John Saul, plus some kind of horror comedy (a genre I've never taken on in book form.) Like previous sales I'm sure most of these won't get touched for months (cough) if ever. That's the joy of these sales though. You can just go crazy and try out whatever you feel like getting.

 

The sci-fi/fantasy area is always a tad trim at these sales yet I managed a few cool pick-ups. The Galactic Arena looks like classic style trash, alien gladiators and all. On Stranger Tides is a fantasy pirate adventure I've been wanting to read for a few years now. Yes it was bought by Disney as the basis for some of the stuff from the Pirates movies, mainly the Blackbeard looking for the fountain of youth bit. Hopefully this will be more consistent. The winner in this category is easily Starrigger; the beginning of a trilogy about space trucking. I always know a title is worth picking up when everyone who reads the description instinctively shakes their head in disbelief.

 

Nabbed a couple of semi-normal books as well, fist being Pillars of the Earth. Under normal circumstance I would never spend a penny on a book about a bloody church yet a friend of mine breezed through it last year and gave it some major props. At the very least that endorsement has earned it three chapters before deciding if I'm gonna bail for some comic books. Berlin Bed Rooms on the other hand is very much the opposite of classy best-sellers. What we have here is some Cold War red scare pulp about German sex nymphs luring witless dudes to the other side of the wall. Behold the promises of filth on the back cover.

 

One of these is going to serve as my post Halloween refresher and I'm sure if I'll lean towards historical epic or trash....probably trash.

 

The biggest spot of fun during the whole sale was searching through tables of old VHS flicks. I started a very tiny collection of tapes last fall and this was the perfect opportunity to build on it. During the first few days, each tape was a measly ten cents but Saturday brought the grab bag deal. Oh boy howdy was that a lifesaver. That picture isn't even everything I bought as a few other items were gifted out to people. It's gonna be tremendous fun to have a VHS night introducing my nephew the pee inducing nightmare that is Fire in the Sky. Not to mention Karloff's Mummy and The Fog which may be in better condition than my vastly overused DVD.

Above everything else is Shattered Silence. I picked this tape off the table on a whim and instantly recognized it under it's alternate title “When Michael Calls.” Years, ago I spent Halloween night with my sister and her friends at one of their homes and this was one of the main flicks for the night. They only vaguely remember that night but I still have some recollection of this movie and I'm just stoked to watch it again. The find only gets better as this is one of those hard to find cult flicks waiting to be rescued by something like Scream Factory.

 

After the sale we hit up a few thrift stores and wouldn't you know it, I turn my head for a few minutes and my sister works out a deal with another shopper for two garbage bags filled with paperbacks! I ended up with a few titles from this massive haul though I'm a tad gun shy as they stink a good bit of basement and funk. There's The Deep, a 30 Days of Night spin-off, and some book about alien parasites during folks into crazed zombies. Think of a serious version of the Night of the Creeps/Slither situation. Most of the reviews on Amazon are terrible so god only knows what I'm in for with this.

Alright. It's time to finally wrap this up. I've been slowly writing it up for days now and the collection of novelty foods and decorations to cover is starting to pile up, not to mention little adventures to art shows and haunted attractions (one of which I plan to visit this weekend.) We're in the heart of spook season people, get out there and have some fun.

October Sampler

This was how I started my October.

Spook season is in full effect folks. Leaves crunch and crinkle under every step, the sky turns shades of orange and gray, and every corner could reveal any type of bizarre sight. I'm starting this when I really should be sleeping. Another morning shift awaits yet I find it difficult to separate from the ridiculous ghost shows of Destination America. In just a few days, the annual library book sale starts up, which means I'd best cover some loose items before antiquated book finds fill this page.

 

Most years, I attempt to get at least one game that matches the mood of the season. More often than not, I end up replaying a classic like costume quest or Symphony of the Night. Currently I've been catching up on more recent Castlevania antics with Lords of Shadow. In case you haven't heard, this is neither straightforward action like the originals nor is it the sprawling lite RPG of later titles. What we've got here is more of a grab bag of ideas from a multitude of games. You've got the combat of god of war, boss fights like shadow of the colossus, with other generic tidbits like quick time events tossed here and there.

The art design is almost like a Del Toro movie except nothing looks like it's drenched in urine. It's a big departure from the beautiful girly men of the most entries in the series. Now you play a dude who wouldn't look out of place in NFL Blitz (did I just date myself?). This dudes' shoulders are wider than my bed! Plus he's got some tight Swayze hair to shield him from evil. Oh, and he's voiced by a very sleepy sounding Robert Carlyle who just stopped in for a paycheck. I don't think he performed the battle sounds which greatly resemble a frat dude vomiting.

You won't be getting anything close to a full review from me, especially since I'm two stages away from being finished. Overall it's an odd duck. It's repetitive, old fashioned, pretty much requires a guide, and it can be just stupid hard, yet it's fun all the same. Even though I've spat at the screen multiple times eith pure malace in my heart, I keep coming back for another helping. There's enough joy to exploring this big scary world and slaughtering monsters to bring a smile, though that smile will be tainted by a platform puzzle or just yet another moment of scratching your head, wondering what the fuck you're supposed to do. Ohhhh and that fucking music box stage! That's the worst! So I kinda hate the game yet I'm thinking of buying the sequel. Consider that a triumph of the whole over its' parts.

Of course those Castlevania fueled rage dumps make a man thirsty. And what better way to replenish cursing strength than milk? Not just any milk mind you, but orange scream milk from Trumoo. Does anyone find it strange that citrus fruit have become a staple of Halloween based solely on color? No one associates mold and blood with Christmas so why would oranges and limes ever be considered spooky? Suppose there's no point in rebelling against it. All there more so since this stuff is actually pretty good. Consider a cup of melted dreamcicles but remove the sting of the orange part. Sadly I ran out of crunch berries before I could cross the line into using this stuff on cereal. My body will thank me by not developing diabetes.

That is a oreo no bake sandwich......I wouldn't recommend it.

Wouldn't be fall if we weren't being bombarded with new cookies. First up are pumpkin spice Oreos. Far less obnoxious than other Oreo flavors, I could see these becoming a tradition. There's not too much spice to them though I wouldn't mind a tad more pumpkin added to the mix. It's just a nice creamy flavor and damn it's good with coffee which as we know is the defining factor in the value of any baked good.

I broke in the new stove with Candy Corn cookies from Betty Crocker. Now before you run off in disgust, these aren't very candy corny (I like that phrase). It's actually a more flavorful sugar cookie that smells....well they smell awful but they are tasty. I wasn't thrilled with them yet my candy corn hating sister took down a good quarter of the box. Not sure if that constitutes a win or not.

Washing down the cookies we move onto Leinenkugel's Shandy Sampler. We're talking about a 12 pack of 3 new flavors that can only be bought in this sampler. Therein lies the problem. Ya see, Harvest Patch Shandy is really good. It's refreshing and leaves behind this nice pumpkin pie taste. I'd easily buy a bunch of this stuff. Cranberry Ginger Shandy is a step down. It doesn't have much ginger punch and the cranberry is just kind of meh. Think of it as a beer version of Sierra Mist Cranberry splash without all that tasty sugar. Lastly is the Old-Fashioned Shandy. What's old-fashioned about it exactly? Good question. I have no answer. This is floor wax, straight up floor wax without the joys of lemon scent. In the end, you have to decide if the equation of one third great, one third weak, and one third awful is acceptable to your wallet.

Seeing as it's five hours before I gotta be to work...I should probably wrap this up. If anybody has some nice tips for spicing up the season, drop a comment. This is a season for adventure no matter how big or small.

Flesheater Review

Halloween always means an extra influx to my horror collection. Let's face it; August through October is an absolute tidal wave of releases both new and old. Originally I was planing to write about the 650^th addition to my treasure trove but not only is the Mangler not here yet, I've found something so much more important with number 647. Join me wont you?

 

Flesheater is the brain child of Bill Hinzman. Bill's biggest claim to fame is being the first onscreen zombie in the original night of the living dead. Most of his career past that point consisted of more bit parts in Romero flicks or just riding the fame of being such a noteworthy minion of the damned. Eventually the old boy got the idea to start making movies of his own. First up was the Majorettes, which I have yet to see though you'd better believe it's on the “to-watch” list, then he decided to revive the undead act and...my god.. it's beautiful. Not in the way of sunsets or your favorite memories. No, it's beautiful like early nineties USA network. If you've ever seen Up All Night I expect you to be hopping with anticipation by now.

 

The credits set the scene perfectly with the animated Hinzman snarling at us along with the only musical arrangement in the whole damn movie. Hope you like it, cause it plays on an endless loop. After that we open on Halloween afternoon as four couples take a hayride out to spend the night in the woods drinking and screwing. It's a mostly forgettable lot of zombie fodder which is fine since only a couple of them live past the half-hour mark. Don't think of that as spoilers. The whole movie is just a gravy train of new people for the zombies to chew on.

Anywho. While the kids get settled for their night of debauchery, old man farmer works on removing a tree stomp from his property, under which he finds a warning sign about the evil buried below. He complains to no one that this better not be some joke. A completely understandable statement when you think of how many prankster excel at burying things under old tress in the hopes of pulling a fast one on aging farmers. Ignoring the warning, he continues to dig and opens a coffin to reveal Hinzman who's quite hungry. Farmer goes down only to wake a few minutes later as a zombie.

Not far away we are treated to one of the least captivating love scenes I've ever witnessed. The girl (if she is indeed a girl) has the voice of a Tennessee trucker and the hands to match. Lucky for us, Hinzy breaks up their fun right quick. After that we get a few scenes of the kids figuring out what's going on and being attacked which leads to them hiding in an old shack and calling the cops. Their last stand for survival is mercifully short as they get devoured in short order except for the two that were forced to hide in the cellar.

Next we move on to a nice house where a girl showers for us in order to break up the scenes introducing some family. None of them last more than ten minutes. Of course Hinzman gets to attack the shower girl, and rip her towel off in the process. Ahh, the perks of being a director. While this is going on we get a few scenes featuring the local police force and their shining star Harv. Harv is the straight up shit. Most of his dialogue was recorded after the fact allowing him to talk like some smooth radio DJ from an easy listening station. Sadly, as with everyone else, his time in the sun is short lived before he bites the dust, though not before taking a few deadheads with him.

 

Next we met a new couple (what'd I tell ya?) who take in the two survivors from the initial group of kids. Can you guess what happens next? Maybe a zombie attack? Ten points! Good for you! The two survivors, whom I suppose you could call the main characters by this point run off to another local, and man did they ever save a good one for so late in the game.

 

There's this lame duck college party being held in an old barn. The attendees are some of the most delightfully sad creatures ever to walk the earth. The king of them being the kid dressed as a vampire who is struggling to pretend he's drunk. Meanwhile girls complain about the guys checking out other girls and some other dingbats hook up. Possibly the best line of dialogue is uttered here which goes along the line of, “my friend told me not to come here. Said you boys would just get drunk and rape us girls.” Imagine this being said playfully before a make-out session. Wonderful, isn't it? So the two main kids show up looking for help, followed closely by the ghouls and yet another blood bath ensues! Some of the biggest effects were saved for this one. Of particular note is when Hinzman shoves his hand through a girls chest.

After that we switch focus to the local mob that's formed to kill the zombies. We spend about a good ten minutes watching people walk around an old farm, shooting the creatures which really just means we get to watch the whole cast get murdered again! I won't spoil the ending for you. That's something reserved for those with the pain tolerance to watch the whole flick.

 

I bet you're wondering why I'd speak so glowingly of something that's obviously crap. Indeed it is crap of the highest order. This lil gem is going to sit alongside the titans of garbage cinema like The Room, Troll 2, Birdemic, and Ninja 3: The Domination. It's a testament to the power of shit. All the more it serves as something of a dictionary entry for describing what a zombie movie is. There is nothing pretentious, meaningful, or unique about it. It's just straight up simple filth that brought a bigger smile to my face than I've had for a while.

A huge part of it's success is the atmosphere. There's an undeniable charm to the cheap honesty of the production. From plastic pumpkin pails to home made costumes. Nothing is ever too outlandish or high brow. Combined with obviously improvised dialogue and a storyline that never goes beyond zombies eating people, it always feels like watching a Halloween flick you could have made with your friends and god help me I love it.

If you've got ten bucks handy, really just want to get trashed with some friends and watch some dumb seasonal fun, I can't recommend this enough. I'll even throw in a drink tip. Mix Pinnacle Caramel Apple Vodka with Coke, and maybe garnish with caramel apple Twizzlers if you're feeling extra destructive. Both the movie and the drink greatly resemble the party within said film. We've all been to that bash. It's gross and unhealthy but we'll never forget it.

The Legend of Cornboy

Thursday night has one special tradition that makes me look forward to it each week, two if TV is in season cause that marks pretty vampire night. Viewing habits aside, Thursday means thrift store night. We go out and check for whatever new/old items grace the aisles of goodwill and hospice. Sometimes we bring back nothing, other times we bring back great piles of forgotten relics. So far the majority of my Halloween shopping for the year has been done at both of these stores with a few pieces that haven't been covered on here (maybe we'll get to them later). Last weeks haul was extra hefty, with some fine finds and a new character to grace our season.

Goodwill has been surprising ample in the Halloween department lately. From mask to life sized frankensteins, there has been some major selection pouring out of that lil hole in the wall. This visit brought some nice new window and toilet clings. Very excited for that last one as I've wanted to try toilet décor before but couldn't reconcile spending 10 bucks on something that'll just get pubic hair on it. I have that same issue with buying underwear actually. Also got a few small metal pumpkin lanterns that'll find various uses through the season. Most of all, I'm proud to have a new water rat. Behold!

For a couple years straight I placed a standing dollar store rubber rat atop our water cooler. The last time he was out we decided to try and make him a year round feature...then he up and disappeared. Thanks to Goodwill, there's a new musclebound replacement to stand frightful watch over our water jugs. God speed lil buddy.

 

Over at the hospice thrift store there were a variety of ziplock grab bags. Some of them had toys, others had figures, one was a sizable amount of rubber bugs for all of 25 cents. My first pick ended up being an odd jumble of some toys and legit decorations. Nothing life changing, but the witches should make nice additions to the light up village hovering over our kitchen cabinets. Turns out bag two was the real find.

 

This baggy came fully stocked with a good supply of porcelain figures and pumpkins along with other pumpkins and some kitties of the wooden persuasion. The tall skinny witch is particularly bogus close up while the cloth grim reaper and black cat may have to take a trip to the trash cause they're dirty and more than a little stanky. Amongst all of these strange beings; one stood out above the rest. Let's zoom in one what I like to call cornboy.

 

Your eyes do not deceive you. That is a corn husk with orange yarn and a drawn on happy face. Several people are of them belief that he's some budding cursed object but I think cornboy is a gentle soul. You know; the kind that only kills when provoked.

 

One last find for the evening was Treehouse of Horror Monopoly. For the record; I adore the Simpsons up until about season 12. After that it's just been a lame horse to this family, but the Halloween episodes still get some major love from us. Hell! It's pretty much the only episode we still tune in to watch. Now I've always hated Monopoly so this wasn't a slam dunk for me and the eight dollar price tag made me shrug and leave the game on the shelf. After heading out we checked the prices on ebay and amazon and to make a long story short, I decided it was best to go back for it.

This stuff wasn't the only fun I managed to find at the stores. There's also a nice array of food, candy, and drinks procured during an otherwise uneventful supply run. Be back to review those soon. For now though, It's time to rest under the watchful gaze of cornboy.

Just noticed that this is my fiftieth entry. Guess I've earned a cookie.

Let's call the whole thing off

September is here at last friends. Summer is passing into the realm of memory to which I say good fucking riddance! Now it's not like the season was completely worthless. There were a few highlights scattered here and there like 80's themed birthday parties and movies about space racoons. By and large though it was one of the most frustrating summers I've ever had and thankfully a key element of that frustration has finally come to a head and actually left me in a finer state than I have been for some time. Now I'm prepped for Fall. That perfect storm of pumpkins, cold nights, spooky décor, and an onslaught of horror flicks. However; my town has one last hurrah before Autumn can fully settle in. With that in mind I figure we can cover one last Summer grab bag.

Last week's morning shifts left me too scatterbrained to take photos of so many items that most will get clumped together here in a kind of rapid fire review session. First off are those Lay's chose your flavor chips that have been floating around. So far I've only placed my paws on three of them, in this order. Bacon mac & cheese is pretty good, not incredible mind you but a very rich chip for when you're feeling that extra bit of gluttony. Mango salsa is a good idea spoiled by an overabundance of fake mango flavoring. I mean it. These coulda been something special if there'd been even the smallest effort to balance the sweet and spicy elements. Cappuccino was just gross....really, really gross. Not even sheer novelty can make em worthwhile.

Also on the chip front are two wal-mart exclusive pringles varieties. Bacon is a pretty straightforward affair that errs more on the side of smoky than salty or meaty. Enjoyable, if a bit disappointing. Siracha didn't do much for me but my nephew went gangusters on em in an orgy of spicy chip madness. Kid ate a good 96% of the tube so if you consider that a ringing endorsement, go ahead and get some.

 

If any of these seems scatterbrained, keep in mind that I'm in the midst of some drinking...probably shoulda said that earlier. Tried the bud light apple-ahhh-rita tonght and for the life of me I can't give you a proper review. It's tasty and gross at the same time yet still fits the season really well. Now I'm on to some hard cider with fireball in it. Ohhh sleep is gonna come quick tonight.

 

Got a nice stash of boardgames in the mail. Betrayal at House on the Hill is my main dish for Halloween. Proving that choosing one horrific theme is for chumps, this lil monster features everything from aliens, cannibals, and good old fashioned demonic possession. I'm sure there must be a few limitations. It's doubtful the game has a scenario where a creepy old man controls mannequins with his mind powers. Anyone who gets that reference is eligible for a cookie through the mail. There's alos a small stack of games I bought on kickstarter way back in winter. God help me if they didn't come in the nicest envelopes I've ever seen. Seriously; I kept those for no other reason than thinking they're neat. 

September and October are always massive months for adding to my horror collection. This season alone there's probably a goof seventeen flicks set to join the pile. That may not sound too bad at first until you remember it's on top of the 644 that already reside six feet from my bed. This last week has brought me the aussie horror collection along with Cat People and Evilspeak. Already watched Strange Behavior from the aussie set. Can't say as I remember anything that happened save for it being incredibly fun to watch while struggling to stay awake. Out of the others I'm most excited for evilspeak for the promise of a possessed Clint Howard flying around with a broad sword.

Oh my god! I had no clue there was a scene in Hard to Kill where Steven Seagle grooves to Chuck Magioni! Life feels a little more complete. Now if you don't mind, I've got to excuse myself to head to the store. Be back soon to start up the spook season in proper style.